Despite Jon's best efforts in the days that followed, the truth and reality of his situation began to become clear. Despite the promises, the dynamic of their relationship had not really changed. He wrote in his new on-line journal each day, and confirmed that she never opened it once. The only change he experienced was that his diet consisted of fruits and vegetables in smaller quantities than he had ever imagined and he was hungry all the time.
The first morning he carefully and completely shaved his penis, testicles and ass. When he presented his work to Lucy she barely acknowledged him. He dutifully ordered not one, but two different chastity devices. He left the Fedex packages on the kitchen counter where she could not miss them and then later found the packages in his office under a stack of bills on his desk.
He rose early each morning to make sure the laundry was done, and enjoyed a calm sense of belonging and joy of service as he imagined that she paid any attention. He also experienced a faint joy when he discovered that he was much better at folding the towels that she was. He enjoyed putting her cotton panties away each day, and could not help but marvel that she had chosen far sexier panties for him than she chose for herself. Morning and night the dishes were all washed, dried, and put away, and he found a certain deep submissive satisfaction in that activity as well. The problem was that he had to imagine her strict direction rather than experience it.
He rubbed warm vitamin E oil on her feet and legs each night, enjoying the sight of her deep relaxation under his ministrations. On Wednesday night he spent almost an hour messaging her back and butt and legs, then had to practically pour her into bed. He lay awake for hours that night, staring at the ceiling, wondering about the predicament he seemed to find himself in.
Where was the dominance he craved?
He was more than ready to serve her orally when she woke each day and then again as she settled into bed each night, but each time her lack of any real enthusiasm became apparent. By the end of the week the amount of time he was allowed to adore her pussy each morning and night had become a brief routine and she was beginning to act for all the world like she was doing him a favor rather than demanding anything of him.
They talked about all of the usual things they had talked about for years. Her lesson plans for each of the district special education assistants were riveting as usual and he did his best to hang on her every word. The Facebook updates about their daughter's lives were given the same rapt attention. She talked about her friends, and the movies they had seen and the books they had read. They were friendly and cordial and even occasionally mildly affectionate to each other in the same passionless vein as before. It seemed obvious that that they were on their way back to the very casual relationship that Jon had been so ready to give up on before.
On Sunday morning they weighed in. He had lost four pounds in the first week, but her only response was to document the loss on the calendar. Though he waited through the rest of the day, Lucy made no mention of the devices on the corner his desk in his office. Reality was really beginning to settle into his brain late that evening as he typed away on his laptop, finishing the last several details of a PowerPoint presentation for work the next day. The same question that had been haunting him for years now began to work its awful and dangerous magic again.
Was there any chance for them to continue on like this? Was he willing to forego any real passion for the rest of his life, until death did them part?
Somehow he finished his work and managed to survive the small talk through dinner without thinking too much about their bland relationship. He managed to enjoy doing the dishes, then folding the week-end laundry and putting it away. He persevered mindlessly through Lucy's foot rub and backrub, and was then somehow able to get to sleep without hours of tossing and turning.
Monday morning played out much the same as the week before. Jon dutifully shaved his testicles, penis, and anus, then carefully and thoroughly lotioned everywhere to limit any chafing. He considered opening the boxes that still sat on the corner of his desk, but decided against it. The morose edge of the current circumstances of their relationship kept him from doing what he felt was her responsibility. It was not rebellion he was feeling so much, but more a sense that it was a waste of time and that there was no point in attempting to court the D/s lifestyle that she had no interest in. In fact, he thought about not wearing the black panties she had provided for him. She had not bothered to check once whether he was wearing them anyway.
Monday night slipped into the oblivion of service without demand or expectation, then Tuesday followed with the same, just as expected. Wednesday night's foot rub and back rub seemed as bland and uneventful as could be imagined. And he was certain that she would have just as soon have skipped Thursday night all together. Friday night's dinner out was exactly like so many before. They spent five minutes that night having the same sex in the same choreographed positions as every week for so many dull lifetimes, and then she fell into a deep contented sleep while he thought about getting up a going for a walk to settle and clear his head.
Other than weighing in, washing her car, and a few other mundane chores, Jon managed to keep a fair and safe distance from Lucy all week-end. She was busy with lesson plans and he managed to stay busy with work as well. Sunday night finally came, and he was satisfied that they had finally reached a point where they knew enough to leave each other alone except when she needed to endure his service to her. He had finally decided to print out labels so both packages could both be returned the next day when he noticed her leaning against the door jamb of his office.
The vision rather surprised him, but the calm of his growing discontent stilled in him like cold water in his veins. The office was dark except for his desk lamp, and the light from behind her cast her form in a shadow that did not allow him to see the expression on her face.
"Have you decided which of those you are going to wear?" she asked.
Was there a hint of laughter in her voice? He considered her shadow for a moment, trying to see her eyes, then turned his attention back to his computer.
"Not really," he replied as he finished typing.
"I thought I had made myself quite clear...you were supposed to be wearing one of them last week-end. Would you prefer that I make an appointment to get you pierced?"
He glanced up at her again. Was this an attempt to re-establish some dominance over him after ignoring him for the last two weeks? Where had she been? Did it matter? Was he interested in the kind of relationship where she showed up occasionally to give him some meager attention? He already had enough experience with the casual and almost platonic life with Lucy to last him a lifetime.
"Why don't you just save yourself the time and energy?"
"Save myself the...whatever do you mean? I'm doing this for you...I thought you wanted this."
"I must seem pretty pathetic to you, don't I?" he asked as he logged off and glanced up and closed the laptop.
She silently eased into his office and took a seat on the fake leather couch which was next to the door. Her features were still somewhat in shadows, so he still could not see her eyes.
"Of course you don't," she finally said quietly. "Why would you say such a thing?"
"Because I want and need so much more than you ever want to give."
Lucy sighed deeply.
"I thought we had that behind us. I don't want to go back through that, you know."
"I know," he replied. "I don't either."
"Then what's this about? I thought the week went well...what's the matter?"