Author's note and acknowledgements
This story has sat on my hard drive for four years now.
I wrote it, all twenty chapters and 95,000 words of it in eight days of a frenzied, near trance-like state, sitting on my couch with my wife's laptop. She would occasionally have to remind me to eat.
When the dust settled, and I looked up, I realized a couple of things: one, I had just written a fucking novel in a week, whoa. Two, it seemed to be pretty damn good, double whoa. And three, what the hell was I going to do with it?
I tried editing it, I even enlisted the help of a Lit-Editor, who was invaluable for early editing, and confirming it was in fact, pretty good, or readable at least. I spent several months then, editing, unashamedly forcing it on writer friends to read, regular friends to read, and total strangers on writer boards. Everyone had different opinions of course, as people do, but all of them seemed to think it was pretty good, and I should probably try to do something with it.
So I spent another year trying to sell it.
Well nothing happened.
And I can't blame them, agents and publishers. It's kind of a niche story, hard to market. It's got too much sex for a coming age story, too much teenage drama for adult fiction, and not a single word about vampires or bondage to make it work as erotic fiction.
So it's sat on my hard drive for four years. I'll occasionally open it up, tinker with a line, or try to figure out how to re-work it into something more marketable. I always end up wasting a weekend trying to figure out how to change it, without losing the essence of the thing which I, and several others, feel is, "pretty good."
So fuck it. Here you go Literotica. I just want people to read it. I want people to get to know Jack the way I did. Writing his life made me feel like I was a part of it. He's a pretty good guy, I wish I knew him in real life.
So NEXT, some disclaimers.
This is a coming of age story. Which means first it starts out when the characters are too young to have sex (on literotica.) So there's no sex for a couple chapters. I hope that's okay. Second, this is a novel length story, including the prologue and epilogue, there are twenty-one chapters in all. Some are longer than others, and there is not a sex scene in every one. (Though some have more than one.) More importantly, sex is a thing that happens, it's not written to be titillating, but rather just as events in Jack's life.
So there you go. It's a story with sex in it, not a story about sex. I think it's pretty good anyway.
If you have not read the first chapter, please click on my profile and pick the story up at the beginning, its better that way, trust me.
*****
The rest of the year, such as it was, was kind of a mess.
I spent a lot of time with Kimmy, trying to reassure her that everything was fine and I had no interest in Anna, and keeping the two of them apart. The problem with that is it just wasn't true. I thought about Anna a lot. My mind kept playing What Ifs. What if she'd said something before my birthday party, what if I'd gone with her instead? What if Kimmy and I hadn't stuck together? What if.
I had a lot of very confusing nights thinking about Anna when I should have been thinking about Kimmy, considering what the two of us were doing at the moment. For her part, Kimmy started getting very jealous of me openly. She got down right possessive in fact, I was starting to feel the strangle hold, but I did nothing to keep the noose off my neck.
I also still had a very hard class load to keep up. Sure I was already valedictorian, but that didn't mean I wanted to let go of everything. I stopped tutoring the girls except for Kimmy really, and she wasn't all that interested in learning any more. Any time we were together she wanted to spend it having sex, or making out, or some other physical reassurance that I was in fact, with her.
It was even weirder when Beth was added into the mixture. She was painfully nice, submissive almost, to my opinions and suggestions when the five of us were hanging out. I'd catch her looking at me when other people were talking, and then she'd look away awkwardly. It was like we'd completely reversed chairs from when I'd first met her. It left me feeling confused and guilty. She and Todd had broken up again. Strangely though he and I still talked and hung out. In a weird way he was my best guy friend. Life is fucked up.
Beth was weird enough, but then there was Anna. She'd stopped flirting with me. So completely stopped that it was weird - tangibly noticeable in it's absence. It was like a big brick wall had been thrown up between us. She never made eye contact with me, never made any attempt to spend time alone with me, or even speak with me when one of the other girls wasn't around. It made things very weird between us.
Only Abby seemed to be immune to all the drama, which made her my port in the storm. We hung out a lot together during my time in the newspaper tech lab. Even after that was out, I would hang out with her after school as a kind of drama-relief. I think she got why and never made a big deal about it. She was one girl I could still just be friends with at least.
As the end of the year approached, senior fever started hitting everyone in a bad way. People stopped each other in the halls and hugged, or bro-hand slapped. Classes got increasingly hard to concentrate on. I barely made it through my studies for finals. I kept tutoring some other classmates, but I started getting awfully short tempered. I feel bad to admit a lot of the 'smart guy' elitism crept up on me that last couple of weeks; 'This is fucking simple! Why can't you understand this?'.
When the yearbooks were released a week before graduation it started to all get real in an impending doom kind of way. The worst part was, I still hadn't written a speech for graduation yet. That hung over my head like an ax in a Poe story, swinging ever closer threatening to decapitate me.
The strangest thing for me I think, was just how many people asked me to sign their yearbook.
I couldn't walk down the hall without someone asking; girls that hadn't known I'd existed before I was a junior even though we'd gone to school together since second grade were asking me if I could, "please sign their yearbook real quick." In more than one of them, I was embarrassed to notice someone, maybe that girl, maybe another, had circled my picture with a heart or something. It was very surreal. Guys too, not the hearts or anything, but guys I'd tutored or knew from my exposure to parties and sports were asking me to sign their books.
I wasn't processing any of it really, it only started to dawn on me about Wednesday that my own yearbook was full of ink. Every page had multiple things written on it. I remember passing it to a group of cheerleaders at lunch on Wednesday and they start claiming space in my book.
The other thing that was overwhelming, was the amount of times my face appeared in the book. In previous yearbooks, my face appeared once, maybe twice outside of my class photo.
Now, Abby was one of the yearbook photographers, and yearbooks in every class always end up with lots of pictures of the photographer's friends and social circles. That's who they are around when the candids happen - its just the law of averages and quantity. So my face was in the back ground of a few shots of Abby's other friend's doing random stuff, or a couple of crowd shots of basketball games where a bunch of us were cheering the team on. So I had a couple from that. Plus one of course in the Newspaper group photo as the tech adviser.
But there were also at least three shots that were centered on me, besides my senior class photo and the valedictorian and salutatorian picture. Salutatorian was Christina Yu by the way, Tommy's encounter with the police had apparently disqualified him. Not to mention he ended up getting a B in physics, so his GPA dropped below hers. We looked great in the picture too, Abby flattered both of us.
Of the three shots that weren't those, two of them were of me tutoring someone. In both of them, I look like I'm explaining something deeply profound and meaningful. They made me look way smarter than I felt most of the time.
The last one was my favorite though. It was at a game, I think it was the basketball championships, but I'm hoisting Kimmy up by the waist and we're both facing out onto the court looking past the camera, she's got her cheer outfit on and her cheeks painted up. She's got both of her arms in the air with her pom poms in a blur of motion and her legs bent at the knees like she just jumped. We're both cheering like mad and look insanely happy. The bottom photo was captioned, "Class of 94's Cutest Couple."
I hadn't made '
Most likely to succeed
' which miffed me a little, (Christina had snagged that, so I guess it was well deserved), but I made cutest couple.
