Chapter 3: Doctor Jeff
On the morning following my little escapade with Tonya in the Peppercorn, I had just barely gotten settled at my desk and was scanning through e-mail when there was a knock on the door jamb. I looked up and Phil was standing in the doorway.
"Hey Matt old buddy," he said enthusiastically, "Got a minute to talk?"
Usually when Phil stopped by it was to review some issues on a project, or to talk about one of the company golf tournaments we would do together, or perhaps an upcoming cook-out or event. However, I had a strong feeling that on this morning, none of those things applied. I suddenly I felt a little awkward meeting his eyes after what had gone on with Tonya in the restaurant the previous evening. Nevertheless, there was no way to make excuses for not talking with him.
"Come on in, Phil," I said waving him over to my desk.
One way or another I was going to have to talk to him. I motioned for him to take a chair in front of my desk, but he was already almost seated.
"Hey Matt," he said chuckling a bit. "Tonya told me that you guys had a very nice little talk yesterday. I guess talk is not the best word. Man, you sure did a job on that napkin. The Peppercorn called and said you should bring it back but not until you launder it."
"Very funny," I replied trying to keep it light, but feeling somewhat embarrassed that Tonya had obviously done what she said she was going to do and gave the napkin to Phil as soon as she got home. Maybe they were used to talking openly about their sexual adventures with people other than each other, but I as yet had not become as comfortable with it. I was ready to jump in with both feet but was still wading in the shallow end.
Phil leaned forward. "No problems man," he said. "The effect of that little gift plus her story about soaking the booth seat and then jerking you off had me jumping her like a horny ram. It was quite an evening Matt. We didn't break for dinner till nearly 8 o'clock. If anything, I should thank you guys for what turned into a very hot evening at our place."
"Well," I responded, "Tonya did say that you guys would probably be rocking the rafters, and that I should think about it while I was having my quiet dinner."
Phil laughed out loud. "Listen Matt," Phil added, "I have been happy as hell ever since Tonya mentioned that you had noticed her ankle bracelet and started asking questions. I have to say that I was a bit surprised but happy that you picked up on it and pursued it. It's fantastic. Man, it's like the three young punk musketeers from the old days are back together, only much better.
Tonya said that you're going to call Doctor Jeff and make an appointment to get checked out. Don't wait too long buddy. Seriously, I think both Tonya and I are looking forward to having a new friend. Well, maybe not a new friend per se, but an old friend with a new twist. Have you called the doc yet?"
"Good Lord Phil," I answered. "I just got in. It's not even 8:15. I'm sure the doctor isn't even in the office yet. I'll call around 9."
"Seriously," Phil responded. "I know he gets in earlier than you think. Give him a shot. I can't stay right now. Duty calls. Get on the phone and get a time to see him."
With that, Phil got up, gave me a high five, and left.
About 15 minutes later, I did call the number that Tonya gave me for the doctor. Per her instructions, I told the receptionist that I wanted to speak to the doctor directly making sure to indicate Tonya's referral. In just a few moments I was on the phone with Dr. Jeff. He informed me that Tonya had already called him, and that if I were available the tomorrow, he could see me after work around 5:30. I'll say this for Tonya, when she wants something done she doesn't let grass grow under her feet as the old saying goes. It's probably one of the reasons that she rose up the ladder faster than a lot of women in the organization. She doesn't sit back and assume things will happen. She makes them happen.
About an hour later, I wasn't in the least surprised that Tonya called me.
"Dr. Jeff called me back," she said. "He told me that you have an appointment with him tomorrow evening. That's good news. I knew he would give you some priority. Just so you aren't surprised, let me tell you what to expect. First off, he's going to give a very close very intimate look at your junk through a huge magnifying glass to make sure there is no evidence of any sort of HPV lesions. Don't be surprised. A lot of people never notice them or don't care, but it's important. Then he's obviously going to draw some blood and ask for a urine sample. That's pretty standard stuff. He's also going to take a mouth swab, and a swab inside of your urethra. Trust me, it's not that uncomfortable. Phil has them done regularly. Then, for the grand finale, he's going to want you to supply a semen sample. Just make sure you have cash to pay him for the lab tests. None of us wants a paper trail or any sort of insurance claims that will end up on your record that could be reported back to the company. More importantly, as you already said, you don't want any sort of insurance statement being opened by Jean."
"What?" I asked. "You mean I'm going to have to jerk off into a test tube?"
"Oh, Matthew," she laughed. "You act like you never jerked off before and that it's somehow an unpleasant thing to do. Hell I'll come over and do it for you if that would make you happy. We can pretend that we're back at the Peppercorn again."
"That's OK," I responded. "I think I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. It's just that I'm going to feel a bit awkward about sitting there in his office and wanking my crank."
"OH GOD," she said with a wee bit of exasperation in her voice. "We need to be well beyond feeling awkward about this stuff Sweetie. I'm coming over to give you moral support, or perhaps immoral support as the case may be."
It's OK, Tonya," I protested. "I think I can handle it; no pun intended."
The next evening, I showed up at Dr. Jeff's office at the appointed time. The office was empty. I was happy that the receptionist had already gone home. Dr. Jeff greeted me with a smile. He was a guy about my age and seemed very nice. He was obviously onboard about why I was there. After having me strip and get into an exam gown, he gave me a thorough look with this huge magnifying glass that Tonya warned me about. Let me tell you, no matter how you slice it, it's a bit awkward to have some doctor looking at your cock and balls and asshole using a magnifying glass and what has to be the medical equivalent of a drop light.
