Everyone depicted in a sex scene is 18 or older.
*****
Chapter 3: Start Up Troubles
I called the producer Hayley had put me on to, and found him receptive once he placed me as the infamous high school porno king. He also gave me the name of a lawyer he said he did not have on retainer, but would certainly use if his present legal advisors failed him. I was careful to explain I had nothing at the moment, but was just putting things in place. I assured him I had all the actors, scriptwriters and cameramen needed when he offered them. Hayley had already told me he would try to get a foot in the door toward controlling things that way.
In the end, he agreed to back me financially, offering me $50,000 up front and another $35,000 after we finished the first film. I hung up the phone excited at how easy it was.
Next I placed a call to the lawyer Hayley had provided. He wasn't in, but when I mentioned Hayley's name, I was told he would get back to me the following day.
The ball was in my court, so following football practice I looked up Dan DeLeon and brought him up to date. He was impressed with my locating what he termed "A big time producer, and movie industry lawyer," but was confused when I told him about Sigourney's role in the equation as Production Manager.
"I don't understand, we got girls, I got plenty of them. What's she gonna bring to the table?"
"Dandy," I said calmly, "what we're going into isn't a fly-by-night operation. If we do it right, and I fully intend to do just that, we'll need key people to help us."
"It sounds like you're taking over," he said bitterly.
"I am taking over. You've got Wilbur, and a few sluts. If I wanted to I could probably hire Wilbur away from you. You know I can get all the sluts I need."
"Fuck you!" Dandy spat out and turned away from me as if leaving.
"Wait a minute! You're an integral part of this enterprise. And it is going to be an enterprise. We're going to be big, bigger than you've ever imagined. Dandy, I promise you we're going to make a couple million on this deal. Are you willing to sit down and listen?"
He took a seat and waited for me to continue.
"A: We've got a moneyman in Mr. X. (at this point I wasn't about to reveal his name.) He has agreed to front us $85,000 for our initial expenses. We can get more if we give him good reasons. What I've agreed to with him is to make three feature length X-rated films of high quality."
I took a deep breath and went on. "We're not just making porn. Everybody and their sister make porn, but its sloppy porn. The idea is to make a decent film, with a semblance of plot that viewers will remember, and hopefully like enough to buy the next film we produce.
That brings me to B: The movies will be scripted. By that I mean really scripted. We'll hire some English majors, or journalists to put together a cohesive script from the outlines the production manager and I come up with. Don't get me wrong, ideas are always welcome. But we film from a script. The actors will have someone holding their lines on a large piece of cardboard. We will rehearse the lines beforehand so everyone knows their place and better fucking know how to pronounce the words they're reading off the cards.
C: We'll interview the actors. And yes, you can fuck them if they're agreeable. Now this is important. The actors will probably come in all age groups. I mean, we might need a grandfather, or grandmother for a scene. I told you we're going for quality with a story, so every scene isn't a fuckathon. Then too, it's possible we'll have some scenes with MILF's..."
"What the fuck's a Milfff?"
"That stands for a mother I'd like to fuck. I know you've seen a few."
"More than a few, Dude!" Dandy was getting into it, and I appreciated it.
"And we can't forget the use of extras. We'll have to figure out how much to pay them and whether to do it hourly or daily. That brings us to D: Cameramen. Wilbur is good, very good, but what if we've got all these actors ready to go and he gets hit by a car? Obviously we need more of them; I think two more, with one in a reserve role.
Maybe use cameramen B and C on an alternating basis. Give them both work and keep them happy that way. It will also allow us more camera angles during the shoot. You can't have too many."
"What else?" Dandy said, "I'm sure you forgot something."
"I can't think of anything ... yes I can. The broads, we'll need tons of them. You want to know how we get them. We interview them." I didn't bother telling him I'd already covered the subject.
Dandy wanted to contribute and said, "We'll place ads in the right places and then film the interviews."
It was at that moment that I decided to get rid of him at the earliest opportunity. But not until he'd had a taste of making some films, and drawing a fair amount of money from the business venture. I made a mental note to have the lawyer evict him from the business before he knew what hit him, but in the nicest possible way.
"Dandy," I said while thinking about the aforementioned. "It's been said there's no such thing as a bad blowjob. This is surely a lie. Anyone who makes this claim has never squirmed under a row of sharp teeth, nor suffered friction burns at the hands of a partner who just wants to get it over with, or endured the lazy manipulations of a mouth that would rather be wrapped around something... anything, else. So we interview them, and you and I can have the pleasure of pronouncing them qualified or unqualified. Understand?"
"Oh, yeah, I see your point."
"While I'm on the subject, I'll add that there really isn't such a thing as a bad double blow job. For one, any girl who teams up with a playmate to work you over is arguably well acquainted with the act of fellatio. And neither girl wants to look bad in front of the other, so they both bring their 'A' games to the, err, court. If having two women at once is like winning the lottery, then having two women worship the knobbed idol of your masculinity is like winning the lottery and the Nobel Prize on the same afternoon."
We laughed at my analogy, and after several more points were made, went our separate ways.
________________________________________
Later that afternoon I heard from the lawyer Hayley had referred me too. His name was Haliford. Harrison Haliford. He heard me out and gave me his rates for hourly and or yearly retention. Being full of confidence at the time, I opted for a yearly retainer of $12,000, as that reduced any hourly charges by half. I know this sounds exorbitant, but my thinking was that I was entering into a full-fledged possibly multi-million dollar business, and in that case the money was well spent.
Mr. Haliford and I met the following morning. I laid out my business plan and he concurred with it, making a couple minor suggestions which I accepted and promptly incorporated. He provided me with five different contracts: One each for the Actors, the writers, the cameramen, Sigourney, and lastly, one for Dan Deleon and myself.
He smiled as he described the nasty clauses in each, and how they favored me. I inquired about the contract between Mr. X and myself and was told that inasmuch as I had no paper as yet, but since he had already provided me with the first installment of the monies promised, I was at his mercy. It was then that I learned Mr. X was general counsel to the Gambino family in New York, a well-known Mafia family.
I swallowed hard, and I'm sure my complexion paled, for Mr. Haliford permitted himself a thin smile.
"You have their money. You will make their, or shall I say, your movie, or movies. They will be generous, this I know from the few contacts I've had with them. They expect results from you. I would highly recommend you fulfill your obligation and get the hell out as soon as possible."
"And how would I do that, Mr. Haliford?"
Haliford asked me another question. "Without incurring their displeasure?"
