Herman Bumsley was not a happy man.
He was lost in thought as he stepped onto the stoop in front of his home.
His wife hadn't aged the way he had and still turned heads everywhere they went.
His son was an idiot and he wondered if it was a gene from his side of the family.
Even more aggravating, he had been saddled for over twenty years taking care of his wife's sister's kid.
Herman shook his head in disgust.
Hairy turned 21 years old today and he was every bit the stud his old man was.
"Freakin' bastard," Herman thought to himself.
Herman smiled for the first time that day.
"At least the kid doesn't know about the magic," Herman thought with menacing glee. "That's one thing I'll keep from him if it's the last thing I do."
Herman stuck his key in the lock, and started to turn it, when he felt something hit him on the forehead.
The 'something' passed in front of his eyes as it fell to the ground.
On the ground was a small square foil package. Herman recognized the condom immediately.
"Where the fuck did this thing come from?" He muttered under his breath.
He looked up instinctively to see if Hairy or Doody had dropped it on him from the upstairs window.
As he looked up, another one landed on the bridge of his nose and balanced there precariously.
Herman grabbed the condom from his nose and looked at it.