Author's Notes: This short story happens right after the last chapter (but before the epilogue) in "Goddess of Song, Pt. 04". It is meant to be a funny short story. If you make it to the end, I have a few more thoughts about this series that I'd like to share.
*****
David woke up with a throbbing pain in his right arm. He looked at the cast that covered his right arm, from below the elbow to the wrist. It seemed like overkill for the wound he suffered.
He had been shot days earlier. Technically, it was a ricochet. Besides losing skin, flesh, and blood, there wasn't going to be any permanent damages. He was not allowed to type with his right hand for a while. Since he was a cyber security analyst, not being able to type was akin to not being able to work. There was only so much he could do with his non-dominant hand swiping left and right on his cellphone.
He was between jobs anyway. He had just finished working for Loretta Atkinson, the world renowned pop singer and sexual icon. He had been recruited by a friend by the name of Bryan Burns, who he knew from his time in the Marine Corps, to work for Loretta. Loretta's home security system was a shit show when they first arrived, but Bryan and David got all of it upgraded and revamped. Now, not a single coke can could be thrown over the fence without security being alerted. David also used his intel skills to solve quite a few other mysteries and dangers that plagued Loretta, but those stories would have to be saved for another time (
Author's Note: You could also just read "Goddess of Song").
For now, his focus was on getting breakfast.
He got himself cleaned and dressed in his luxurious bathroom that had a hanging crystal chandelier and a personal Jacuzzi. The Jacuzzi faced a wall with an embedded screen. For the last few days, he took advantage of the screen to watch movies while letting the jet streams massage his tired and bruised body.
Inspecting himself one last time in the mirror, he headed up stairs to the ground floor, where he found his breakfast companions waiting for him in the dining room. This morning, breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs, assorted cheese, Iberian ham, fruits, and freshly brewed coffee. The mixed aroma of coffee and eggs made him hungry.
Loretta was finishing cutting strawberries when he walked in. She was wearing a plaid button shirt, jeans, and slippers. Upon seeing him, the goddess of song smiled and said, "Good morning, David! Are you feeling better today?"
He cheerfully replied, "Getting better every day!"
When he said he had finished working for Loretta, he wasn't taking paychecks from Loretta to surf the dark web for illicit contents or review security footage anymore. But, he had been shot on the last day of his job. Loretta felt so sorry for him that, upon learning that he had terminated his lease in LA and was about to fly back to the bay area to stay with a friend, invited him to stay with her until he recovered.
The details of his injury would be a story of itself, but to summarize briefly, one could say his presence saved her life. His friend Bryan may disagree, but David saw it differently. It was David, not Bryan or
that other guy
, who had been standing next to Loretta when shit hit the fan.
Bryan and the other guy had another contract starting the very next day, so after the ambulance ride with him to the hospital, they packed their bags and left. Bryan had turned his job as head of security over to Mark, a former police officer who was the nicest guy David had known. Mark had explicitly told David now that he was a house guest, he needn't take it upon himself to do any menial work like transfer old security footage to tape or change security camera batteries. His job was to "heal and keep Miss Atkinson companion, now that everyone else is gone".
And that was how he found himself in the presence of Loretta and Loretta's manager, Jeanne, at 8AM in the morning, munching on fruits and eggs that Loretta had made for them.
Jeanne watched him use his left hand awkwardly to stab a chunk of eggs, "Must be difficult to not be able to use your dominant hand."
"I can still out-swipe you with my left, Jeanne." David grinned, "Want me to help you type your dating profile?" He had a wicked sense of humor that jived well with Jeanne's wicked sense of humor.
"Yeah?" Jeanne raised her eyebrow, "But can you jack off with your non-dominant hand, fucker?"
"Are you offering to help me? Because that is a sure fire way to keep me soft."
Jeanne shook her head, "Look at this guy! His pals are gone and now he talks like he's the shit."
"I'm not the one who FAINTED upon seeing blood."
Jeanne's face turned red, "I fainted because someone shot at us!"
"OK, stop bickering, you two." Loretta reprimanded both of them with a soft voice. Then she turned to David with a somewhat more serious expression, "Dave, I've been meaning to ask you something..."
"Yes?" He sat straight up and gave him her full attention. He was also thinking in his mind:
Damn, she is hot even without all that photoshop or post-production editing!
Loretta hesitated, then, as if mustering all the courage she had, popped the question, "You don't have a girlfriend right now, right?"
David's jaw dropped as he stared at Loretta's beautiful face with her almond-shape eyes, rosy cheeks, and luscious full lips...
"Judging by his moronic silence, I'm going to say no!" Jeanne commented with a sarcastic laugh.
"Hmm, no." David's mind returned to reality, "I've been too busy. I have only had a few flings here and there..."
Jeanne giggled and was about to say something, but Loretta stopped her. "Thanks, Dave! I know that can be a touchy subject. Do you mind if I ask you another, possibly more embarrassing question?"
Loretta's voice was so sweet and sincere, her stare so mesmerizing, that he could only say, "Of course! What do you want to know?"
"What kind of girls do you like?" Loretta asked, "Can you specify...like, if you like big boobs, big bottoms, or any particular features in a girl that hits you on the spot?"
As if to calm his nerves, she quickly followed with "You can tell me anything. This is Hollywood! I'm used to all sorts of weird kinks. I promise I won't use it to blackmail you or anything!"
David's mind was spinning. How could one not be dazed, confused, and aroused if one of the hottest girls on the planet was sitting across the breakfast table from him asking him if he liked boobs, bottoms, or else?!
He swallowed hard and said, "Uh, to be frank, I'm really into big tits."
"Of course you are!" Jeanne snorted. David was relieved by that comment, however, because otherwise the atmosphere would have been too much for him to keep his erection down.
Loretta nodded and seemed to be thinking. He waited for her to ask him more, but she just said, "Thanks, Dave, I think this is all I need to know. Oh, wait, one more thing! You know I am having a gathering in this house tonight and you're invited, right?"
"Yes, Jeanne told me already."
Since the attack, Mark had restricted Loretta's public outings. Loretta, however, wanted to invite a few close friends over that night for dinner. Jeanne had warned him to keep the living room clean and not spend the day eating potato chips on the couch leaving crumbs all over. As if he were some teenager!
Loretta looked him up and down. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans with a belt.
Jeanne voiced Loretta's mind, "He needs to wear something different for tonight."
Loretta nodded, "I think that would be wise. Dave, do you have time this afternoon? Jeanne and I want to take you shopping. We want to dress you up a bit for tonight!"
Since David's plan for the day was to sit in his room and watch TV, he had absolutely no problem with Loretta's suggestion. The only thing he had to do after breakfast, while Loretta and Jeanne went out to attend an interview, was to head back to his room and beat off. In his imagination, he may have juxtaposed extra-large tits onto Loretta's body.
As a trained analyst, he knew his chances of actually getting to sleep with Loretta wasn't high. She was technically dating
that other guy
, though he felt like celebrities weren't exactly the most monogamous bunch. He would not be surprised if they had some sort of open relationship. He put his chances at 20%.
Loretta and Jeanne came back in the afternoon to pick him up. Mark was amused by the trip's purpose: "Miss Atkinson, are you setting David up for a date?"
Loretta's eyes gleamed, "That's a secret!" She looked at him and giggled.
David adjusted his chances to 30%.
They arrived at a shopping center, where Loretta expertly led him through the maze of stores. Recognizing the arm cast to be an issue, she decided that he would wear a short sleeve shirt with his current jeans, but lose the belt. She also got him a new blazer and a pair of shoes. David didn't get to look at the price tags, though he knew the final bill easily topped four digits; Loretta refused to let him pay.
"I didn't get to pay for your medical bills, and this is nothing compared to that!" She said.
Having Loretta look at him with her head tilted and walking circles around him, as if he was some important companion that she needed to make presentable, gave David's ego a gigantic boost. When she stood close to him, he noticed how nice she smelled. He modified his chances to 35%.
When Mark drove them home, David learned that Mark would not be staying at the party. Once he made sure the guests didn't bring weapons and the nightshift security were there, he was heading home. David's heart beat just a little harder at the thought that, at the end of the night, it would just be him...and Loretta.
Holy shit, this could be it!
David's mind screamed excitement, his body invigorated by wild erotic thoughts. He had an important decision to make: to beat or not to beat before the party. He wanted to last, but also didn't want to tire his dick out before all the action.
He threw his probability calculations to the gutters.
Fuck the chances!
