Late. Very late, or very early, depending on where one is supposed to be at 4:00 in the morning.
I'd fully expected to head to my office in just three more hours, but now that was all changed. Gina changed it. Her unexpected arrival at my apartment the night before had opened a pandora's box. There was no way I could walk into my office with all the thoughts now preoccupying me and still expect to get a lick of work accomplished. Besides, I had other work to take care of now. It was six hours since she knocked at my front door. In that short time I'd learned more about Gina's inner world than ten years of living together had taught me.
My life, my past: I'd put it all on the shelf as soon as the divorce was finalized. Gina's absence from my home gave me a convenient excuse to lose myself in my professional work again--to bury the emotions that she had first kindled. Now all my repressed memories came back to haunt me as I sat and watched her sleeping peacefully upon my living room floor.
Our marriage had been a casualty of too much routine, too little joy and passion, too many stresses and strains and outside pressures. Every moment we spent alone together felt like borrowed time. We tried to fit a lot of excitement into times when we were least assured of outside interruption. Probably like a lot of other couples, we experimented. Tame experiments. We watched erotic films. Films like "Emannuelle" and "Sex, Lies, and Videotape." Films that reminded Gina of her younger days. We also saw films that opened her to the idea of love between women, like "Desert Hearts" and "Entres Nous." Gina loved these films. She said they reminded her of her single days spent with her best friend Kathy.
We also bought sexy clothes for each of us. We took photographs of each of us undressing for the other. Over time, the photos became more revealing, not just of bodies, but of desires and longings. They seemed to document our erotic awakening over many years. We bought a book about glamour photography and I started encouraging Gina to experiment with new and more provocative poses. She seemed to enjoy it—as long as it was behind closed doors.
I so often looked for ways to reassure Gina that I found her both beautiful and loveable because she didn't seem to believe it for herself. I loved to shop for pretty clothing for her. A slinky dress, silk stockings, many kinds of lingerie. Victoria's Secret catalogs became a regular part of our household. I remember our first trip to the mall after they opened a Victoria's Secret store. We almost expected (and wanted) to see those pretty sales associates modeling our favorite lingerie.
Once in a great while when we had a few days alone to ourselves, we dressed up to go out on the town--dinner and a show, maybe a little dancing. Once or twice I remember being somewhere together, like a restaurant or night club, when I was suddenly aware that someone else was watching her. How exciting it was to know that someone else was admiring Gina's beauty! Once, a couple sat near us at a restaurant and it was clear that both were interested in us. Nothing really happened between us beyond exchanging the usual pleasantries you exchange with friendly strangers in a public place. But that night, alone with me, Gina was an absolute tigress in heat. We made love all evening and well into the morning hours. And before the night was over, we'd admitted to one another our deepest fantasies.
I could recall that night so vividly now. That night, as we lay entwined in one another's arms, I found the courage to admit that the thought of her with another man excited me. At first, she said nothing in response to my comment. But as we lay there caressing one another I had this sudden image flash through my consciousness. And I had to share it with her.
I remember telling her, "I have this fantasy about you coming home after work to tell me you've spent all afternoon making passionate love with a handsome stranger."
Almost as soon as I said it I felt her body shudder in my arms as the first orgasm erupted inside of her. I wondered, was it my fantasy that turned her on and sent her over the top? Did she have someone in her mind's eye at that very instant--someone other than me? As this thought crossed my mind my own orgasm overtook me.
Ever since that night I wondered, would she come home some day and announce she'd allowed another person to share pleasure with her. It wasn't a suspicious kind of feeling. I didn't feel possessive of her. No, it was more a curiosity. Many times I realized that the idea of Gina being desired by others made me happy. At first, I thought that was strange. But after a while, I realized that if she knew it wasn't just me that found her desirable, maybe she'd believe it was true.
One day, I came across an advertisement in the local alternative newspaper: "Unmarried couple seeks other couples or singles for mutual exploration of our fantasies." The author had left a post office box number and simply signed the name "Jim." I took out a box number of my own at a local post office, and after talking about it with Gina I sent off a quick note of introduction to "Jim." I wrote, "We'd like to correspond with you to see if we have mutual interests." That was all I said. And then we waited, and waited.
A few weeks later when I had nearly forgotten about sending my note, we got back a letter I'll never forget. It was from Jim and his partner "Sally." Jim was a lawyer, Sally a lawyer's aid. Not married to one another, but both married nevertheless. Jim was into "exploring." Not in person, just by mail. And so was Sally. If we were interested they would write further next time to tell more about themselves.
Well, we were more than interested. I wrote back immediately enclosing photos of both of us (nude, but without our faces being exposed). Gina was as ready for it as I was--and yet, we had no idea where things would head. We were just ready for an erotic adventure, and Jim & Sally gave us one for the next two years. I was thrilled to see Gina wanting to join in the fun. She and Sally even exchanged *very* erotic letters with one another. And then one day Jim wanted us to meet them both in a downtown hotel room. Although we chickened out at the last minute and never did meet them, the idea gave us many nights of inspired lovemaking in the weeks that followed.
...But yesterday, it actually *had* happened. Gina had been with another lover. The full weight of realization began to sink in as I sat there at my desk and gazed at Gina's nude body splayed across my plush living room carpet.
I watched her for a while, her chest gently rising and falling with her breathing. I imagined the hands of others caressing her. I thought of unseen hands running over her skin, I though of other mouths savouring the taste of her body's most intimate secrets. Closing my eyes, I envisioned Gina slowly undressing for people I had probably never seen. I began to caress my own naked flesh. I felt my cock growing, extending upward and oh, so full. I opened my eyes and looked down, my thighs spreading wide apart.
The sight of Gina was creating an incredible erotic tension with my mind, my body, my soul. She was here as if we'd never parted, and yet... I knew she belonged to others. She had taken an evening to visit me, to play with me, to show off herself and her new "freedom". And she knew how much I'd like watching her strip for me, listening to her telling me about her new lovers.
I loved the feeling of being naked in the middle of my apartment. I kept wondering, who were those people watching us in the other apartment? Did they know Gina? What would it have felt like to have them in this room with us, making love alongside of us, perhaps joining us? My head spun. It was all too much to take in at once. What was I feeling inside--hurt, excitement, jealousy, intrigue?
Suddenly I was overcome with a longing to feel others' bodies next to mine. I couldn't get it out of my head. I decided to take a shower. How long had it been since I took a really sensual shower? I decided today it was time to worship my body—to make it tingle with pleasure and erotic release. As I stepped into my tub and drew the curtain, hot water trickled down through my hair, running off to slide down my shoulder blades, over my chest, soaking the hairs that covered it. I grabbed a fresh bar of glycerine soap and closed my eyes once again. I wanted to pretend that this soap was someone else's hand caressing my body from head to toe. My nipples arose to delicate peaks as the water hit them. I brought the soap up to my shoulders and pretended I was standing in the shower with three other people: Gina and her two lovers. I began to glide the bar of soap slowly along my arms, from my fingertips up to my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let the soap smooth itself over my chest, circling my nipples, approaching closer and closer until it brushed across them, teased them, sending chills throughout my body, making me grow harder.
"Mmmmm," I moaned as I drifted into a daydream world, recalling scenes from 'Henry and June.' I saw Gina in the arms of two different lovers--a man and a woman--as we all stood in an enormously large shower. The man was kissing Gina, their tongues intertwined, while the woman's hands were washing Gina's breasts. I pictured the man as tall and dark, the woman as beautiful and blonde. Just as Henry and June had looked in the movie. My fingers continued pleasuring my nipples, making kaleidoscopic images dance before my mind. I saw Gina again, only now it was the woman who was kissing her, the man whose fingers were applying the soap to her lower body. And then I saw him standing behind Gina, pressing his hard prick against her. The woman was now kneeling in front of Gina, her mouth licking Gina's delicate pussy, her fingers reaching behind Gina to grasp her partner's hot cock. She was speaking softly to Gina, "Take him, take him, take him."
My cock was throbbing painfully as these images passed through my brain. I moved the soap bar down, sensuously across my stomach, my navel, descending. I felt it enter into the patch of curls between my legs, seeking my throbbing flesh that dangled like ripe fruits in the springtime.
"Ohhhh, god," I sighed again, my fingers now grasping my hardness, feeling it grow mightily in length and thickness.
I do love the feel of my own body in a state of erotic bliss, though it is not often that I have such delicious fantasies to inspire me. I stroked my fingers up the length of my cock and down again.
The soap was now gliding over my buttocks as I stood with legs wide apart, caressing along the undersides of my thighs. My cock grew harder as my fingers teased my rear opening. I pictured the other woman, Gina's other lover, teasing me with her fingertips and showing me all kinds of new ways to play games. At the same time I imagined my tongue entering Gina's pussy, seeking the hidden bud of her clitoris, probing her depths. I imagined the rich taste of the many juices that were mixed inside of her body.
