Thank you for your comments and encouragement. I'm editing Chapter 6, but 7 is on hold while I finish a story for the Halloween Contest. It won't be long before I get back to Ian, though..
***
- "Oh! Oh!
Derek!"
she said.
It didn't occur to me until later that she might have just called out another guy's name in the throes of passion. I knew, right then and there, that Tanya had expected Derek to be in this room. She was fucking the wrong guy.
There was no smooth way to make her aware of that fact. I was so close to coming that I was afraid to move. So I said her name, softly. Tanya peered at my face.
- "Tanya." I said, a second time.
- "Ian? IAN?"
It took a moment for her to realize what was going on. Then she scrambled to get off me - just as I got off. As she lifted her lips, my traitorous cock slipped from inside her, and snapped upwards, against my belly. The first jet of come splashed off my chin. Then my cock jerked, and the second stream hit her chest.
The third and subsequent jets of come sprayed across my stomach.
Mercifully, I didn't see Tanya's face as she sprang off the bed. I could only imagine how horrified she was. She snatched up her clothing, from the floor - and fled from the room.
That was how I lost my virginity.
***
Tanya left Nate's house before I could catch her - though what I could possibly have said if I had caught her, I didn't know. I followed her example, and walked home. My thoughts were, predictably, a mess.
How could we go on, after this? Would she even want to hear from me?
Though I hadn't done anything wrong, I felt that I needed to apologize. I called her, but she wasn't home. I called Derek: somehow, I thought that he deserved to know. No answer. I called both of them a dozen times, but never got a chance to speak to either one.
I couldn't figure out why Tanya had gone out with me, if she had feelings for Derek. By 'feelings', of course, I meant 'wanting to fuck him'.
We had planned to attend a New Year's Eve party together. That didn't happen. It wasn't my fault - I knew that - but I still felt as if it was.
On the 2nd of January, I got together with Nate, and I told him the whole thing. No clinical details, but ...
- "Oh my God." he said.
After another cup of tea, I apologized to him.
- "I think I've wrecked our friendships." I said. "And our D&D group."
- "You didn't do anything, Ian." he said. "None of this was even remotely your fault."
- "I was
there
, Nate."
- "Bad luck. That's all it was." he insisted.
- "What should I tell Parvani?" I asked. I had to tell her something.
Three days later, I had dim sum with Parvani and Nate. She was a bit tense: she knew that something had happened. I told her the basic story. I tried - but I couldn't quite look her in the eye.
- "Oh, no." she said. "Ian - I'm so sorry."
I wanted to cry. I had fucked up our friendship with two wonderful people, and destroyed our social circle - never mind our gaming group. Yet Parvani could feel
my
pain. She got up, and came around the table to give me a hug. The waiters had to roll their trolleys around her.
- "It wasn't your fault, Ian." she said.
I agreed with her. But why did I feel so shitty?
***
Neither Tanya nor Derek ever returned to game with us, or to socialize. There was no cross-country running until spring, so I didn't see her there, either.
The only positive side to this debacle was that Alan stopped coming, too.
- "He blames you for Tanya leaving." Nate told me, over a cup of tea.
- "Good Lord!" I said. "He doesn't know what happened, does he?"
- "No - no! But he thinks that she's cutting herself off from the rest of us because of you."
- "What? What does he think that I did?" I asked.
- "According to Alan, Tanya told him that you were pursuing her - that you wouldn't stop asking her out. He described it as 'stalking'." said Nate.
- "That makes no sense." I pointed out. "Why would she go out with me - several times - if she didn't want the attention? All she had to do was say 'no'."
- "Alan was jealous." said Nate. "He had feelings for Tanya, himself."
- "Alan?" I was dumbstruck. "
Our
Alan?"
- "He could see that you had a crush on Tanya, and -"
- "Wait! What do you mean, 'He could see'? Who else knew? Did Derek know?" I asked.
Nate sighed. "Everybody knew, Ian."
- "What? How?"
- "You weren't very subtle. We could all see the way you looked at her. The way you tried to start conversations with her ..."
- "Wait -
we
? Did Parvani know?" I asked.
- "We all did." said Nate.
Shit
.
I wasn't sure if Parvani still had some kind of crush on me, but I had thought that I was being discreet. My pursuit of Tanya was supposed to be low-key, patient and slow - yet everybody knew about it. What a dork I was.
My mood was pretty bleak, but I managed to channel what energy I had into my studies. Then, in February, I got some good news: Burnsie was getting out of jail early. Good for Burnsie; not so great for our friendship.
His parents blamed his friends for what had happened. They didn't include me in the 'bad influences' - but they didn't specifically exclude me, either. They wouldn't let Burnsie re-connect with any of his old friends.
His father hung up on me when I phoned their house. That left me no option but to write Burnsie a letter, and mail it. I never got a reply. My Dad found out that they had moved.
- "Out west, somewhere." was all he knew.
***
We started gaming again in March - just Nate, Parvani, and me. It was an interesting dynamic, because three characters, no matter how balanced, can't handle every eventuality. We had to rely on henchmen, which gave me a multitude of opportunities for role-playing distrust and betrayals, personality conflicts, and disputes over the sharing of treasure.
Parvani surprised me, though, by choosing to play a cleric.
- "You
always