Full Circle Ch 04

Thankfully I beat Marissa back to the office. Fucking her on the table in a Japanese restaurant was a mistake. I needed to have used that time to get to the root of what was going on. I asked for answers and she gave me one. Despite that, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't getting the whole story. I sat in my office and managed to get only an hour's worth of work done. The rest of the day my mind drifted between thoughts of Marissa and Danna. Feelings of guilt and anger churned inside me. My emotional reactions toward Marissa were warranted and clear. She used me. I hadn't expected it, didn't want it, but it was so.

When it came to Danna I was, for the first time, confused about how I felt toward her. I hadn't seen her since the night she cooked me dinner. That wasn't like her. It occurred to me to call her, but I didn't want to think about what I needed to say. I needed a drink. An unopened bottle of Glenlivet was sitting in my liquor cabinet at home. It was calling my name.

I pulled onto my street but stopped two houses away when I saw Danna's car in the driveway. I pressed my foot to the gas and headed for the interstate. Forty minutes later I was on the opposite side of town pulling into the parking lot of my favorite dive bar, The Bait Shop. I walked through the door and saw that every coin operated pool table was in the same place. Every red vinyl bar stool lined the bar like it always did. I smiled, relieved that one thing from my past didn't disappoint me. Though it was a trip down memory lane, I didn't come to The Bait Shop to be reminded of my college years, I was looking for someone in particular.

Behind the bar, pouring a draft beer was Lily Gafton. Her back was turned toward me when I settled into a seat. A blue tank top clung to her slender frame. She still looked great. My eyes followed the curve of her body until I couldn't see any more beyond the bar. She handed off the beer to a waitress and I noticed she'd cut her hair. I hated it. I smiled at the memory of her loving to use her hair like feathers to tickle me while she explored my body.

"Lily G," I shouted. "Get over here and pour me a drink."

Lily's head snapped around. The look on her face read that she was ready to fight. When she recognized me her face lit up and she charged over.

"Oh you." She sprang up over the top of the bar and I caught her half way. I squeezed her petite frame while she planted two big and loud kisses on my cheek before I settled her back down.

"Now if you'd been anyone else –"

"I know," I said with a chuckle.

"It's been too long, Sutherland. Too long." She looked me up and down.

"Been keeping busy. You know the deal."

Lily took a seat beside me. It was only thirty minutes until happy hour started and the bar was basically empty.

"Atta girl, Danna. Keeping you out of trouble."

"Ha."

"Ha?" she said. One of her eyebrows shot up as she examined my face.

I was happy to see Lily and hoped that my smile had told her so, but she read right through it.

"What did you do?"

"If I hadn't had the week from hell I'd be offended by you suggesting that

I

did something wrong."

"But you did."

Reluctantly I said, "I did."

Lily motioned the waitress over and asked for her to take over the bar.

"And bring us over two Glenlivets. One my style." She looked over at me then said, "Make his a double."

I followed Lily over to a corner booth. It was high backed and circular shaped. It looked too modern for such a hole in the wall place but the dark, almost chocolate brown upholstery made it fit.

"How's the bar? Miss the day job yet?" I said.

"It's fine, Paul."

"And the writing?"

"My agent has been getting strong feedback. I should be hearing something any day now. I couldn't ask for more."

"That's great. I'm really happy for you, Lily. I really am." I reached over and hugged her until she pulled away.

"This is all stuff we could have talked about in a phone call. What's going on?"

I opened my mouth to speak when the waitress arrived just in time. I took a sip and let it burn into my throat before speaking, "Guess who's back."

Lily took a drink too. She turned her eyes up to the ceiling then replied with a smile, "I haven't got a clue."

"Marissa."

"You're joking! The harpy in heels is back?"

"Harpy in heels?"

"Come on, Paul." Lily laughed. "It's no secret that I didn't like her."

"Yeah. A war of words right here in this bar comes to mind, but I had no idea you called her that." Given recent events it was foolish to follow the need to defend Marissa. I took another drink.

"Anyone who would think me, a lesbian, would be after you, a pig-"

"Hey now!"

Lily laughed. "Has got some serious issues. I mean, she went after me with this 'don't mess with my man' business."

"But we did used to date, Lily."

"Okay, but that was an entire lifetime and sexual preference ago."

It was. I felt old thinking back on Lily and me together. Those were some wild times. I could do without the hangovers and I didn't miss being broke after every weekend, but I did miss how simple everything was then. I caught Lily looking at me with concern.

"Tell me you didn't," Lily said.

"Twice."

"You idiot."

I looked down into my tumbler and swirled the whisky around, unable to meet Lily's eyes.

"I guess I don't need to ask you how it was," Lily said.

I couldn't quite tell if it was humor or contempt in her voice. "Phenomenal. As always."

"Of course."

I braced myself for what Lily would say next.

"What about Danna?"

"What about her?"

"Don't play stupid, Paul. You either tell her or she finds out. Which do you want?"

"I try not to think about it."

"Oh you really are an idiot."

"That's why I came to you, Lily. I knew you weren't going to bullshit me."

Lily nodded before she took a swig, emptying her glass.

"But Danna is the least of my worries."

"Ha! That red headed Amazon is gonna kick your ass when she finds out. I know she's sweet as pie, but she doesn't strike me as the type to let something like this slide. Maybe that's why I like her. Great tits too." Lily held her hands in front of her B cups to gauge Danna's size. I smiled and reached over to adjust Lily's hands until they were roughly the distance from her chest to match Danna' beautiful D cups.

"Wow," Lily said. "Why'd you give that up? Mm!"

I shrugged.

"I'm sorry. I've got tit envy."

"Yeah, well, you haven't heard the whole story."

"We're going to need more to drink?"

I nodded. Lily held up two fingers to signal our order to the waitress. I told Lily the story of how and why Marissa had come back to town. I finished just as our drinks arrived.

"That bitch," Lily exclaimed then said to the waitress, "Not you, honey."

"I don't know what to do. If I stay, I have to deal with her bullshit. If I leave, I'm out a job I happen to love and I look like a punk."

"You could sue."

"And say what? 'I fucked my hot boss under duress

and

I feel violated'?"

"You didn't know the first time."

"But I knew the second time."

The look of concern returned to Lily's face.

"What if she sues you?"

"Trust me. That has crossed my mind. I know I didn't go into detail about the sex -"

"And I'm glad you didn't."

"But she likes fucking me too much to sue me for sexual harassment. It's this whole revenge thing that has caught me off guard. She was never like this."

"Wasn't she?"

Her question didn't need an answer. Maybe Marissa was always a conniving bitch and she either concealed it well or I chose to ignore it.

"I guess I have a way of bringing out the best in people."

"You

are

the reason I'm a lesbian."

"Oh thanks."

"I'm serious."

I looked at Lily, hoping to see her crack a smile. "I wanted to walk out of here feeling cheered up. Now I just feel beat up."

"No. No. Hear me out. I needed to be with someone who could and would communicate with me on an emotional level. Women fulfill that for me where you never could."

"Come on Lily. We have great talks."

"Yeah, now. Now that we aren't having sex."

It was my turn to wave over the waitress for another drink.

"You know what your problem is, Paul?"

"No and I can't wait for you to tell me."

"I mean this in the most helpful way. You have a hard time unplugging your cock."

"We've been together for thirty-two years. We're kinda attached."

Lily smiled. "What I mean is your relationships are all sex drive and no connection."

"Did you hate it so much?"

The waitress slid over our drinks. Sipping was over. I downed the whisky in two gulps.

"This isn't about me." Lily hid her smile behind her glass then took a sip.

"Uh-huh."

"Of course I liked it. Loved it even."

"We had sex on that pool table after closing when Mel owned the place...if I remember correctly."

Lily blushed. She got up on her knees in the booth to look over at the infamous pool table. She laughed then plopped back down.

"Mel needed to replace the felt after that. My heels did a number on it."

I smiled. That detail I had managed to forget. "You never could keep those legs still when I ate your pussy." How long had it been since I thought about that? Now that the seed had been planted, it germinated in my mind, sprouting off into flashes of events that bloomed into memories, sounds and smells. I could see Lily's full lips, puffed and wet, spread enticingly in front of me in a perfect pink smile. I could hear her saying, "Hurry before Mel comes back." My tongue moved back and forth in my mouth from the muscle memory of those first sessions with her.

"Yeah," Lily said blissfully, "Good times."

"Am I still the best?" I'd never dared to ask Lily before, especially now that she'd become a full blown lesbian. I couldn't understand why I wanted to know now. I blamed the alcohol. I was getting a dose of harsh reality so far, taking a major hit to my sexual prowess couldn't hurt.

"The best at giving face?"

I looked into Lily's eyes and I knew she was fully aware of what I was referring to, but I nodded.

"Yes. You're the best."

"Seriously."

"Seriously." She giggled, the color rose in her cheeks. "Now back to what I was saying. What was I saying?"

"You were telling me how my healthy sex drive is keeping me from meaningful relationships."

"Exactly."

I blew out a sigh.

"What?" Lily stared at me. I looked away. "There comes a time in every player's life –"

"Player? Okay. That's too far. I'm not a player. Every woman knows exactly what I'm about and I don't cheat."

Lily raised her eyebrow again.

"Marissa is an exception. Not the rule. We have phenomenal sex."

"Call it what you want but every...

guy

like you needs to take stock of their relationships. Grow up and connect with women some place other than their pussies."

I tried to imagine having a meaningful relationship with Danna. All I could see was Danna turning up the heat on the marriage talk, her dragging me around by the balls planning a wedding and forcing me to attend holiday dinners with her family. I took a drink.

"Plus -"

"There's more?"

Lily shot me a stern look. "Plus, all you need to do is pick who you want to be with. Either you want Marissa, who seems to like you the way you are or you want Danna who likes you for who you could be."

I considered what Lily said. There wasn't a clear choice. Choosing one woman over the other would create the kind of fallout I wasn't willing or able to handle. I finally understood what it meant to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was thankful the whisky was beginning ease my discomfort with this decisions. My shoulders relaxed for the first time.

Lily was staring at me, not with concern or unveiled distaste, but with sympathy.

"Look," I said, "I'll figure it all out. I just don't want to deal with it right now."

"You're getting drunk. Great way to deal with it."

"Come on, Lily. Stay cool with me. I really don't need a nag."

Lily opened her mouth to speak then closed it after reading the expression on my face.

"Why don't I take you home."

"You're not driving my car in your condition. You've had as much to drink as me."

"Little bartender trick of mine. Customers in your condition don't need to drink alone. I get my tumbler loaded with ice, enough whisky for color and the rest is seltzer."

"Smart girl."