Thanks to KD for the awesome editing!!
Please start with Chapter 1 if you want to know the whole story.
*****
Five rolled around before Mei Chun was ready for it and she prepared to bid her work friends farewell. As she grabbed her purse Dr. K emerge from his office looking pensive, bleak and distracted. She surmised that his son's test results had come in and been bad news. She sensed that now was not the time to speak with him and on the way out the door vowed to offer her sympathy tomorrow.
The cab was waiting at the curb and she thought about the avuncular doctor on her ride to the center. 'Gosh, how terrible. He's such a nice old guy. To have a kid sick like that, maybe even dying... how horrible.'
As the center's cinderblock walls peeked from behind low rent apartment housing she found herself still thinking, imagining what he must be feeling.
The center was in a building that looked a lot like a school but was fenced in, no doubt to keep out the dangerous neighborhood thugs rather than keep the kids inside.
"Hi, Mei Chun." Sarah was always glad to see a volunteer, especially today. Mei Chun had been one of the best so far. Unlike the older church lady types, convinced of their goodness and confident they knew what was best for the children, Phil's girl was an enthusiastic follower of direction and listened rather than proposed.
"Hi, Sarah. How are the kids?"
"About the same." Mei noticed that Sarah looked worn and tired. "We had to send Kevon to general, he was in an insulin shock after he got hold of a bag of sugar but he's ok. He'll be back tomorrow. Ready for rounds?"
Rounds, like in a hospital, were an opportunity to brief staff on each child's condition and, while she had been present for them in the past, she had never gone on them with Sarah alone before.
"Where's Mrs. Carter?"
"Not here this evening. You're going to be in charge."
"What!? I can't do that. I wouldn't know what to do."
"You won't be alone. Micky is here and Erica."
"But they... but I ... until when?"
"Two more will get in at eight and then the morning crew will be in at eight tomorrow. But Micky's got to leave at ten so you'll be shorthanded."
"You want me to lead the night crew all night?"
"Not all night. I'll be back at four or five. I have faith in you Mei Chun. You'll do fine and I'll be here for another hour. You've got my cell phone and you know how to dial 911."
"Yeah, but..."
"Listen," Sarah stopped walking and looked at Mei in the eyes, "You are either a short timer playing at Florence Nightingale or you are in this to make a difference. Which is it?"
"This is my third time here, Sarah. I'm not qualified to be in charge. Anyway, I have work tomorrow."
"Don't deflect. Which is it?"
"Your pushing me, Sarah, it's not fair."
"Look around you. Listen to that screaming. That's a little girl who's lost her mind. Is that fair? Jerome nearly split his own head open Tuesday, is that fair? Get over your fear and take responsibility."
Mei was close to panic. She still felt helpless confronting the reality of what this place was about. She smelled the hopelessness that permeated the atmosphere, like the stink of sulfur at a paper mill. She saw how the other women ran from one calamity to another, losing heart by the end of their shift, drained as they left for their cars. What was she supposed to do, dedicate her lives to these hopeless children? Philip would have to decide. She obeyed him and in return he was supposed to make these kinds of decisions. But what if he decided that it was what she would do, quit her job and go full time here? What would that do to her? What would it do to their relationship? She could not see herself as Sarah's successor, running this place ten years from now, prematurely old and prematurely bitter.
"Sarah, I will do what I can and I will do it without fear." She saw Sarah smile and felt dislike for her for the first time, "However, don't confuse my volunteering for an endless commitment. I'll have to ..."
"Talk to Phil?"
"Yes. It's his choice — our choice and that's it."
"Do you call him when you need to shit too?"
"Belittling me is not a good idea, Sarah. You need help, these kids need help and I'm here to help. If your attitude is a problem then you deal with it but don't give me shit. I'll take the responsibility for tonight, sure, but you take the responsibility for putting me in charge. If something happens that I'm not qualified for then it's your problem. Got it? Let's go," Mei said and turned on her heels.
They reviewed all thirty-six children, Mei taking notes. As they came to the last door, Sarah finished her sentence, "...she'll be fine till her next meds but restrain her if she loses control."
So that was it. Mei was going to be in charge of two staff caretakers she didn't know and her back up was the nurse and the cleaning crew that didn't speak English. That was the help she had to care for thirty-six severely handicapped kids. TV would help, snacks would help, it was nearly dinner time and Sarah would stick around through that but afterward she was on her own until relieved ten hours later.
In an hour, dinner completed and the kids standing around the TV, running about, or staring into the corner, Sarah came in to see if she had things under control. "Listen, Mei Chun, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I've not slept in two days and that's an excuse but it's all I have right now. If I don't go home and sleep and shower I'm going to crack. Ok, sorry for being a bitch. You can do this. I need you to be able to do this."
Mei saw that she was tired and she felt better for the apology. She would do what she could and only call her as a last resort. "I'll do my best, Sarah. Get some sleep." She nodded, patted one of the kids on the head and told her to be good to Miss Chun and walked out.
She saw Jerome still sitting before his untouched meal, looking at the ceiling tiles, rocking back and forth. She hadn't had a moment to sit with him since arriving. Micky and Erica were putting out fires but things were under control. She took a minute to just be with him.
"Jerome?" she said, taking the seat opposite him. "Jerome?" He didn't react. She sat patiently, taking one of his hands in hers. Two minutes passed, the noise that only insane kids made was washing around them. Over the next five minutes he began to look down at the table, then finally at her hands surrounding his. She had been humming a nursery rhyme her mother sang to her. Jerome seemed to respond, taking tentative looks at her mouth. She'd never had him react in the slightest degree before and she felt it might be progress so she began singing the words.
Mèimei bēi zhe yáng wáwa
Zǒu dào huāyuán lái kàn huā
Wáwa kū le jiào māma...
He looked into her eyes for just an instant and a lump formed in her throat. She began to tear and sang louder than before. She felt the connection with him in the moment that his eyes touched upon hers and knew there was someone alive inside him. She resolved to sing to him every chance she could.
A disturbance dragged her away, but before she dealt with the situation that had grown too large for Micky to handle, she gave Jerome a caress along his cheek.
Somehow she survived the next hours. There was no call on her to make an important decision and she knew she was only nominally in charge. Micky and Erica were much older women, full time staff with more experience. This made Sarah's action a more obviously contrived attempt to bind her more closely to the center. She didn't know how much of Sarah's decision was genuine confidence in her and how much was manipulation.
Bedtime brought some relief, most of the kids were long used to the routine but some refused to sleep. Walking the hall she heard mumbling coming from Jerome's room and opened the door to find his roommate, Tony, talking to himself and Jerome sitting up in his bed. Tony kept repeating, "Yarom no ired," and she realized he was saying that Jerome wasn't tired, didn't want to sleep. She laid Tony down, stroked his hair and told him not to worry, she would take care of Jerome. He quieted with the touch and soon closed his eyes; perhaps asleep, perhaps not. She sat with Jerome, a boy nearly her size, and took his hand, began singing the song again and brought his head to her shoulder. She would do anything for this boy. Anything to give him a few moments of peace. Before long, his head heavier and heavier on her shoulder, she heard the soft snoring. She lay him down gently, covered him with a blanket, kissed his forehead, turned the lights low and left the room.
There were a few issues to keep her busy, a bed wetting, some night terrors but a good night according to Micky.
Sarah returned a little after four, not looking much better than she had when she left. She thanked her though, and seemed appreciative. Mei called the taxi company and arranged to be picked up.
She returned to her apartment, got three and half hours of sleep and felt surprisingly energetic when she returned to the office, a Friday morning at last. Still overwhelmed by the goings-on at the center she had no mind to think about her sex life.
Her heart sank when she saw Dr. K's pain in his eyes and the drag in his step. She found him alone in his office at about eleven thirty, stepped in and closed the door. "Bad news about your son?" He told her it was cancer. She squeezed his arm, gave him a quick, sweet kiss on the cheek, hugged him for just a second and left without another word.
At lunch she slept in an exam room.
##########
Philip got a call from Eric, his one-time cell mate and the guy that Mei Chun had blown in the utility room.
"So how is it going with Jenny?" he asked after some opening pleasantries.
"Very well indeed. I call her Mei Chun now to help with the disassociation."
"Good, her childhood name I assume. Good idea. Need my help with anything?"
"No, I've got it. Thanks for asking." He knew he must've wanted more of her.
"She is a fine one, Phil. You treat her right."
"I am. I was putting the finishing touches on a gift for her when you called."
"Something special?"
"Yeah. I'll show it to you next time you're round."
"Sophie's left," he said abruptly.
"Ah shit, sorry man." Sophie was his wife who'd stuck with him through his prison term.
"Yeah. This time I think it's for good. I'm not clean anymore and, well, there's not much to stick around for."
