Fluffys Futures Cara Ch 09

I woke up gasping, a scream in my throat, hands flying to my chest where the bullet had struck me in the dream, throwing multiple blankets from my body. The movement brought a howl of pain from me as it pulled healing muscles and skin in my back and shoulders. The sound echoed nicely since I was still in Samu's kitchen, laying on my side atop his island, wrapped in blankets. Somehow I think it was accidental. I mean who plans for good acoustics in their kitchens?

Samu came running into the kitchen, Meele close at his heels, saving me from further pondering the acoustics of the kitchen. One of them must have slipped me something though the feeling of utter randomness was slipping away as I blinked in the bright lights.

Samu and Meele both wore bathrobes, Samu's over a pair of matching pajama bottoms, Meele's over nothing I could see though it was tightly belted shut. The dragon has no modesty, I swear.

The sight of the two of them was comforting, though in different ways entirely. Meele's presence was welcome in a way a father-figure would be, Samu's in the way one would welcome a lover and friend. Though how much longer the latter would remain that to me was debatable. The dream I had shook me to the core, making me shiver though there were three heaters in the kitchen all aimed at me. I looked at the metal boxes with their glowing filaments and tried to push away the lingering fear and horror the end of the dream had brought with me.

"Are you okay, Cara," Samu asked, laying a hand on my now bare shoulder as I sat up.

I winced under his touch, looking at the flesh beneath his hand. Apparently Shimori had bitten me as well. "Stupid cat bite," I growled in English without thinking before switching back to Japanese so Samu could understand me. "I'm fine Samu, relatively speaking. I've been hurt worse then this."

"Thank goodness for that," he said, the lines around his eyes relaxing. "I mean not that you've been hurt but that you'll be okay."

I pulled my legs to sit cross-legged on the counter, shaking my head to clear the last trendles of sleep away. My voice was scratchy and rough from disuse. "Thank you for letting me use your kitchen to heal. How long was I out?"

"Ten full days," Meele answered from my other side. I turned to stare at him as he went on. "I know, your longest restorative sleep yet, but you needed it. Look at yourself, still marred from the fight after almost a week's time. I'm half tempted to put you back to sleep for another week or so to finish the job."

I did as he said, pulling the blankets away from myself to look at my skin, wincing as I did so. Along my sides and shoulder, my skin was still raw and pink, shiny scar tissue that pulled when I moved. I sighed, knowing what needed to be done but not liking it. "Don't put me back to sleep, Meele. I need to get up and move around or the skin will heal too tightly for me to move freely without tearing it at first."

Meele nodded and turned away. "I'm going to the store," he called over his shoulder. "We've been feeding you soups and broth all week but you'll need something meatier if you're going to be moving around. Try walking on your own now, until I get back. Samu, be nice."

"I'll make sure she doesn't over do it," Samu called as Meele left the kitchen to get dressed. He turned back to me, eyes still worried. "Are you feeling okay? Can I get you something?"

"I'm okay, Samu," I said though in truth I wasn't really but I'd get there. "Can you help me off the counter?"

He moved to help me shift my legs off the counter, hand on my arm to steady me. "Nice and slow, Cara."

"I know," I answered, gritting my teeth against the pain as I slid off the metal island. My feet hit the cold floor with a jolt and I hissed sharply at the flares of pain from my back and legs. The world swam in techno colors for a moment before I forced my body to steady itself. With that, my human form melted away, body taking on my hanyu form for the first time since I'd been injured. I gasped at the shift but embraced it, even though it hurt worse then standing had. In my hanyu form I'd heal twice as fast, if not faster, then in my human form, though there was a cost. The additional pain was a small price to pay in return for the ability to defend myself if the situation called for it. Even if I didn't think danger lurked at Samu's house, paranoia's only unjustified until someone tries to kill you.

The claws from my fingers bit into the metal counter top, marring the surface permanently. By will power alone, I made myself let go to stand on my own. Of course, right after making such an improvement, the muscles in my back, newly regrown, began to spasm, sending me to my knees howling in agony, hands just barely catching my fall.

"Cara!" Samu called as I fell, unable to catch me before I hit the ground. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I hissed, jaw locked tight against the scream trying to get out. "Just a back spasm... totally expected under the... oh, dear God!... under the circumstances."

After a moment the spasms faded, leaving me breathing heavily and still on my hands and knees. "That's less then fun."

"What happened," Samu asked, kneeling beside me.

"Spasms from rapid healing," I whispered as I caught my breath once more. "Like I said, its normal though I've never had my back torn up like this. Had spasms after I got my arm almost torn off by a mark on steroids. That hurt... not as bad as this though. Guess this hurts more because of all the muscle groups involved. Almost every move you make moves something in your back, you know."

"What kind of life do you lead," he asked, voice soft in wonder and underneath that, fear. "This shouldn't be normal."

I laughed harshly. "Its normal for me. In the past my life revolved from one crisis and mark to the next. I couldn't pursue a normal job because of my body. Can't pass the anti-magical physicals that more and more companies are using now. So I'm stuck doing the one thing that doesn't require a physical that holds my interest."

"Killing people is all that holds your interest!?!" Samu's voice was astonished and appalled. "That's... I don't even have words for how inhuman, that is. What kind of monster are you?!?"

"Guess I deserve that," I whispered, pushing myself to stand before him, wrapping the blanket around me like a sarong. His words stung, like flames licking into my heart and mind, threatening to light the essence of my soul on fire. How easy it would be to slip into my Yukoi form, to end this relationship built on false pretenses in that moment. Show Samu what a monster I really was by killing him.

With a gasp, I forced those darker thoughts down, bound them tight under the ties of my humanity, begging for enough strength to keep them locked away until I knew I wouldn't hurt Samu. I realized in that moment that I couldn't harm him directly, that to do so would break something inside of me that I could never repair.

My weakness... the only person I would do anything for, anything to save and keep safe. A weakness that I could ill afford and yet there was little I could do about it.

Overwhelmed by the realization and the pain, I began to cry, slowly at first then in great wracking sobs that shook my entire body.

Samu, even in his horror and anger with me, pulled me into his arms, careful of my back, holding me tight against his chest even though he didn't know why I was crying. Smart man didn't even ask, but whispered apologies for calling me a monster, that he was sure there was a reason why I took the jobs I did.

How long we stood there, I don't know. Time often seems to move differently in that kind of moment. When you're wrapped in your beloved's arms, being comforted against something you never thought anyone could or would comfort you over.

"I'm sorry, Cara," he whispered after a while, his voice soft. "You're not a monster. You've done what you had to do to survive. I can't throw stones at you, not when I've killed others simply because they betrayed a fellow Yokuza member or pissed off someone higher in the food chain."

"I've only killed those who've killed others or had them killed in cold blood," I said against his chest, my voice muffled but understandable.

"Better then me at least," he said at length, apparently pausing to think about what I'd said. "To condemn you is to condemn myself, which would be stupid. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I accept it."

"A therapist would say that's very healthy," I said, an attempt at humor. Why is it my brain tries to be funny when it should be serious?

"A therapist would say we're both nuts," Samu said around a laugh, arms sliding down around my waist. "I've talked a lot with Meele while you were... asleep. He's helped me understand a lot about you and what and who you are, Cara."

"Is that so," I asked, wondering just what Meele had told him about me. "And what did he say?"

"That you'd been ridiculed by the human world from your birth, bounced from foster home to foster home, even though some wanted to adopt you. The state, afraid of you, refused to let them do that and put you in a center for 'gifted' children that nearly killed you. He told me how he helped you escape, get a new identity and watch you enjoy freedom for the first time in your life at the age of sixteen."

"You make it sound grander then it was," I whispered, blushing against him. "I only did what I had to."

Shaking his head, Samu tipped my face up to look at his. "You did what most would fear to do. You fought for your freedom, fought for your right to live as a sentient being, not just some magical guinea pig. That is very admirable, Cara. Plus years in the police department and more still hunting down those that harm others? That's not monstrous, Cara."

"Some days it is," I said, fingers curling with the sensory memory of the dream, grasping at flesh that wasn't there. "I'm not an angel, Samu. There have been times I've killed just for the sheer rush of it and the pay check I'd receive upon confirmation of the kill. True, my marks have all killed others, but then so have I. Only reason I'm still alive is because I'm not human. I'm sometimes not even very humane."

"According to Meele you are," Samu countered. "He told me that your kills are almost always in one shot if possible, minimal suffering of your target. Clean and quick, not traumatic and horrifying."

"And that makes killing people so much more ethical," I said sarcastically. "You know, most men would drop me like yesterday's donuts if they knew a third of what you know."

"I'm not most men," Samu said with a smile that reminded me suddenly how close we were, how little we were both wearing. "Trust me, Cara."

"I want to," I said honestly. "I don't know if I can trust myself. I'm not a great person, Samu. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing."

"I like wolves," he told me, moving his head closer to mine. I let him kiss me, dismissing the subject for a more intimate one that required no words.

At least not until his hands slid up my back, causing my claws to rip reflexively into his sides at the sudden influx of pain. I pushed away from him, gasping and trying to dampen the pain. It took me a few moments but I managed to push the pain far enough away that I could ignore it.

"Don't think I'm up for that quite yet," I managed to choke out as I pushed the pain down. Once my head cleared, I said, "I'm sorry, Samu but don't think I'm quite ready for that. Never thought I'd say my back hurts too much...."

Samu laughed, his eyes dancing with it, shaking his head slightly. "Only you would apologize for being too wounded to be made love to, Cara. Though maybe if you were on top...."

I smiled at him as he trailed off suggestively and was about to give it the good old collage try when Meele returned, making sure we heard him coming in the front door of the temple house. Great timing for a guardian, I mused with a sigh. Not that I had any virtue left to protect.

I could smell the meat in the bags he was carrying, licking my lips in anticipation of it. Somehow, I managed not to jump on him or attack the raw beef, though part of me, the yukoi part, wanted to. Protein deficiency tends to make me not too picky about whether my meat is cooked or not though the next day I tend to be disturbed by the lack of cooking. E. coli is an awful way to die, or so I've heard.

Meele saw the hunger in my eyes and knew what it meant, perhaps even better then I did. "I'll have some of this cooked up soon, Cara. In the mean time, Samu why don't you get her a robe to wear or something. She really shouldn't be parading about semi-nude you know. Might catch a cold."

Samu went off in search of a robe that was light enough not to bother my back while Meele cleaned off the island and began pulling out cooking utensils. It suddenly struck me that Samu's kitchen was huge for a Japanese home but I didn't say anything. Maybe he or some previous resident loved to cook.

I knew that Meele did, though he'd only learned it in the last few decades. Apparently he'd never had the opportunity to cook before joining me in America and now enjoyed it thoroughly.

He turned that serious gaze of his upon me after he began sautéing the chunks of beef he'd bought with some onion and red pepper slices. For me, in my current state they'd only be cooked enough to get hot in the middle and then served, still bleeding or not. "How's your back?"

"Been better," I said, trying not to drool. "Spasms are further apart now and they're the worst part."

"Good," he said, shaking the pan to turn the meat. "I imagine they'll only last a couple more days then you should be back to normal within a week or so."

"First few stretching sessions are going to suck though," I muttered in English. I've been told I slip into my native language more often when I'm complaining about something.

"I imagine so, Cara," Meele agreed with a smile. "You do deserve it though. You could have just shot the damn cat."

"That would have killed her though," I countered. "And I didn't want to kill her- what if Yukio came after me for killing his sister? More drama that I don't need."

"That is true," Meele said before his eyes narrowed and he switched into a language spoken by the yukoi alone so Samu wouldn't understand him. "What you do need is to get this job done so we can get the hell out of this country! The council will not sit idly by, they're going to want to test you again on a full moon to see if you're stronger then or not. I've already heard whisperings of this from a friend."

"Wouldn't happen to be the pretty woman with fire-like hair that's married to Dokkasomaru would it?"

"Pest," Meele teased. "Too observant by far."

"Alive because of it," I said with a grin. "That done yet?"

Meele rolled his eyes and gave me a serving of the meat once the onions were finished cooking. I dug in as he continued to speak. "I'm worried about you Cara. You've left a gaping hole in your natural armor by falling love with that human. Especially a human of the Tigushi family."

"What's wrong with the Tigushi family," I asked around a mouthful.

"Don't talk with your mouth full of food," Meele chided absent mindedly switching back to Japanese now that he was done chastising me. "The Tigushi family was not always simple mountain dwellers. They're the real reason the Yukoi number so few."

I stared at him blankly, wondering what in the heck he meant.

Meele must have understood my look because he nodded. "It's true, my little cub, the Tigushi family was a huge family of yukoi hunters. Men, women and even children who trained their entire lives to slaughter Yukoi, be they good or evil, harmless or harmful.

"Can you imagine that, Cara? Can you see yourself and your entire family being hunted by these humans? Your own wife and children slaughtered by them because you were out hunting?"

The sorrow and grief in Meele's eyes brought tears to my own. I'd known that his family had been murdered by humans but he'd never gone into detail about it. Not the detail he went into now, his voice mournful as he spoke in Japanese, not caring if Samu heard and understood him or not.

"Their bodies, Goddess, their bodies were torn apart for their bones, the skins of my youngest taken for cloaks to protect from fire. My wife, pregnant with our fourth child was massacred in her bed as she finished her labor. The only way I knew this was because they missed my youngest child. My newborn daughter lay in that bed between her mother's legs, soaked in blood, squalling in fury over her mother's inattention. I looked through her eyes and saw her mother finish delivering her just as the sword fell, taking my wife's head from her body.

"My wife, trapped in her human form by the dark of the moon, didn't stand a chance against those warriors. Armed with weapons crafted from the bodies of other Yukoi and tipped off to our presence in these very mountains by a traitor who I took joy in killing."

I sat there, crying softly before I caught his last words. "Wait- tied to her human form? Your wife was a hanyu?!?"

Meele nodded solemnly as Samu asked, "Why's that such a surprise? Is there something wrong with being a hanyu?"

"Yeah, just a lot," I whispered, bolting down the last of my food. "The fact that I'm accepted by the council and have a clan to claim as my own is amazing for a hanyu. Most of those born as a hanyu are too weak to compete with the true yukoi on their own without special weapons or help. I manage because I carry the powers of my mother's people and the sorcery of my father's line. Otherwise I wouldn't stand a chance. For a Greater Yukoi, one of the most powerful of his race, to be married to a hanyu is a big deal."

"Izuoi was a big deal," Meele whispered harshly. "For four hundred years I have mourned her death, mourned the death of our three elder children. For four centuries I have cursed the Tigushi family for their murders."

"That's why you told me to drop Samu," I whispered, eyes wide.

"No, its not," Meele said, gaze shifting from me to Samu. "I warn you away because he carries within him the yukoi killing abilities of his predecessors. A bullet shot by Samu could hit you where others have failed." He held up a hand to prevent Samu from protesting and went on. "I buried my children, all of them, because of the Tigushi family and their love/hate relationship with the Yukoi. One generation hates them and the next loves them, even breeding with them, giving their descendants more strength against us."

"Well... didn't see that one coming," I said at length, wondering what in the world I'd gotten Meele and myself into this time and where Samu fit into my life now.

Couldn't blame him for what his family had done in the past, right?

Heaven save us from the sins of our forefathers. And mothers, too, just for good measure.