Flawed Red Sil

Chapter 07: The Raffle Controversy

Dear Maria,

You asked me to tell you about the row recently happening in our office, so here is the low down.

The office was holding a raffle to raise money for Children in Need. No one knew who had started the raffle but the gifts of prizes and been pouring in for a couple of weeks and had spread beyond the original filing cabinet top to a dedicated table.

Most of the prizes were the usual rubbish that people give for raffles such as cheap deodorant gift packs, unusable kitchen aids that sound good in the adverts but are obviously worthless when they arrive, and packets of biscuits or chocolates with names no one has heard before.

Some prizes were attractive. Someone had given a bottle of single malt whisky. There were several bottles of good French wine mixed in with the supermarket bargain bin plonk. The general office staff were startled when the Managing Director's Secretary, a most superior lady, brought in a padded envelope and laid it on the raffle table before turning and leaving a hint of her expensive perfume to tantalise the men.

There was a rush to see what she had left. Marjorie got to the table first and opened the unsealed envelope. She blushed as she peered inside and dropped the envelope as if it had stung her. That increased everyone's inquisitiveness. Penelope had her hands on the envelope almost before it hit the table. She looked in, turned pale but inserted her hand to pull out a dramatic pair of French Knickers. She held them up, giggling nervously. The red silk glistened like the fairy on a Christmas tree as she showed them to her colleagues. The intake of breath from both males and females was audible. These were panties to covet if not to die for.

During the day the sales of raffle tickets doubled because so many people wanted to win those panties even if few would admit that was what they were spending their money on. We could all hope, couldn't we?

By general agreement the French Knickers would be the first prize and would be awarded to the holder of the first ticket drawn. After their fate was known the rest of the prizes would be less eagerly awaited.

On the day of the draw the general office was very crowded. The chief buyer's youngest daughter Charlotte who was visiting the office on a "Bring your child to work day" was persuaded to do the draw. She was rather embarrassed by all the attention. Unlike the rest of the young "children" who had refused to come to a boring office on a sunny day she was twenty-three years old and starting her Ph.D. She gritted her teeth and prepared to do her duty.

She plunged her hand into the wastepaper bucket that was filled with the ticket stubs, closed her eyes, wriggled her hand around and pulled out one ticket. Even before she announced the number many people knew that they were unlucky. So many tickets had been sold that different coloured books had been used. This ticket was yellow.

She smoothed the stub out.

"The winner is the holder of yellow ticket number 273," she announced in a clear soprano voice reminding some that her Daddy had paid for singing lessons. "Yellow ticket 273? Is the holder here?"

There was a scuffle at the back of the crowd.

"Yes!" announced a male voice. "I have it."

The murmur running through the crowd was almost angry. Of all the people to win these wonderful panties it had to be, just had to be, the company nerd Maurice. He pushed his way through the crowd that wasn't pleased to part for him to collect his prize.

Charlotte was rather startled by his crew cut, his bright blue three brass-buttoned blazer, and yellow spotted bow tie. She pushed the padded envelope in his direction as if warding off an unpleasant apparition. She dismissed him from her thoughts as she plunged her hand back into the bucket to proceed with the draw that now seemed interminable.

Once the draw had been completed and the fantastic amount raised for Children in Need had been announced everyone drifted back to their work. We all felt cheated as if someone had stolen the fairy off the Christmas tree. What could Maurice do with those panties? He had never been seen with anyone who could be even vaguely described as female. The general response to Maurice's advent nearby was an unaccustomed interest in paperwork or unnecessary phone calls or any tactic that might persuade him to pick some other victim.

Maurice was so enthusiastic about trifles. He had even waxed lyrical about the new plastic paper clips! He was hopeless.

The day ended with despondent staff huddling in corners discussing the unfairness of the draw. Not that we accused Charlotte. Her reaction to Maurice had been the same as any of us who met him for the first time. But Maurice had those wonderful panties in his possession. It seemed like sacrilege. All of us who had looked at them appreciated the texture, the workmanship, and the sublime redness. The person least likely to appreciate them had won them.

If that had been the end of it the affair would have blown over. But some of the women actually started making advances towards Maurice to try to get the knickers from him. He couldn't go into the stationery room without being followed by some predatory female anxious to try out her wiles. The dress code went out the window as they competed to show Maurice more cleavage, more leg, more bare midriff. The other males appreciated the display but Maurice was getting hot and bothered everywhere he went.

Then the competition got nasty. Accusations about taking unfair advantage of opportunities to seduce Maurice were flying around. Women who were normally friends were reduced to spitting wildcats. Even I was affected by an overwhelming desire to wrest those knickers from Maurice's hands.

The office was a battlefield with the men cowering behind their desks as the combatants worked themselves up to a fury. What would have happened I don't know but the most unlikely person, Evangeline, brought it to a sudden end.

One morning she and Maurice calmly walked into the General Office and she announced that they were engaged. After a stunned silence everyone congratulated them. The congratulations were not really for the happy if unconventional couple but with a sense of relief that hostilities had ended. Evangeline had won the knickers. I mean, Evangeline? Who would have thought of her? She was the most nerd-like female around. If a female could be a nerd and most can't, Evangeline comes closest to being one.

Then Maurice spoke, thanking everyone for the congratulations. Then he said:

"Evangeline and I have made a decision. She doesn't want the raffle prize I won. We have decided that the prize should be raffled again to raise more money for Children in Need. This time only women can buy tickets."

He and Evangeline started selling tickets within the hour. By the end of the day two hundred tickets had been sold at one pound each. By midday Friday five hundred and thirty two pounds had been raised. Evangeline performed the draw. I won.

That night Reggie proposed. I'm sure it was the sight of those knickers under my skirt as I accidentally flashed them that brought him to do it at last. We are getting married next March.

Please, Maria, will you be my chief bridesmaid? I need your support. Getting Reggie to propose was difficult enough. Getting him to the altar will take work and I'm sure you can advise me.

All my love, your friend and Mrs. Reggie-to-be,

Andrea.