Finding Home

When the Professor knocked on the door, Nathan was the one to let him in. The Professor raised an eyebrow. "This place is turning into a college dorm. It smells like a brothel in here."

Cassy giggled from her bed. Nathan shrugged, "Don't blame me. She enticed me up here and raped me. You don't know how grateful I am that you are here. God only knows what other depraved demands she had in mind for me. But now that you are here, I must thank you for your timely rescue. I must take my leave. I leave her here to face your consequences for her misbehavior." Cassy shrieked and dived under the covers.

"I am totally losing control of this place. Go on Nathan, Cassy and I have some talking to do and she needs to get her sleep."

Cassy peaked out from under the covers and watched her Master smile and gently touch the Professor's shoulder in a tentative gesture of affection. He called, "Good night little one. This was a good talk. I am glad we had it." He turned and was out the door before she could reply.

Cassy pulled the covers off from over her head. "Did we do something wrong by sneaking up here to be together?" She obediently swallowed down the sleeping pill.

"Not at all. It is a good thing that you two are so hot for each other right now. The sex will help keep the feeling of closeness as you guys negotiate how your life will be together now."

"Negotiate?"

"You don't think that things are going to go back to being exactly the same do you?"

"No I guess not. I just never thought I would have much say about how it was going to be."

"Cassy, the life you had with Nathan was too similar to the life you had when your parents abused you. That is why you were disassociating so much. The enforced silence, the complete dependence on another stronger person, fear of death, pain, powerlessness; all these need to be evaluated and decisions made. Why are they important? Can you get the same results in a way that is satisfying without reenacting your past abuses? If you are part of these decisions, if you understand you have the right and power to have some control in this, it will go a long way towards keeping you here with us and keeping Nathan."

"He has to have control. I need that as much as he does."

"Then ask for that. Personally I think the no talking thing, the absolute silence thing is what was worst for you. That and him trying to kill you now and then."

"He wasn't trying to kill me. He was testing me."

"It felt like death at the time though. Didn't it?"

Cassy had to nod, but she still felt a huge irrational need to defend her Master. "I would die for him if he wanted. I love him." Her voice as soft.

"Perhaps, but that is crazy Cassy. Death is the antithesis of love. Life is love."

It was getting harder and harder to stay awake. "OK if you say so. I am going to sleep now. Please fill my head up with all the right answers." Cassy did not even flinch when he swatted her butt hard. She just made a soft purring sound.

Cassy woke early again. This going to sleep at 11:00 on the dot was turning her into an early riser. After a quick shower she pulled on her sweats and logged onto her computer.

The Professor had posted her Master's reply.

Cassy, little one, pretty slut,

You weren't the only one having fun. Your responsiveness, your obvious delight in all that we did together was so erotic. The knowledge that I was the source of your ecstasy gave me a sense of power matching and exceeding those of elaborate tests.

Not to mention I felt like the top of my head was going to blow off, I came so hard in you. You are one hot fuck, pretty slut.

I am very aware that things cannot be the same. When you come home it would be unreasonable and crazy to go back and make all the same mistakes all over again. I am just as nervous and unsure about how things will be, but I trust the Professor when he assures me that growth and change are good. It certainly has felt good so far, all except the being apart from you.

I cannot promise that I will be perfect at this. I have always been and probably will always be a control freak. I will probably still have my dark pissy moods. I will probably demand you prove to me your love and commitment during the times I doubt myself. I hope you will be able to put up with me.

The Professor has spoken to me at length about how I have kept you to isolated and that you are too young to be locked up in my house for the rest of your life. He is very adamant on that point. He says it has to be your decision what you want to do but my job is to tell you that what ever you decide I will support you. This is not easy for me. I hate every second you are away from me.

Now is the time when the Professor tells me to stop worrying so much about me and start thinking about you. He has such an infuriating habit of reminding me of how much of a selfish bastard I have been. OK deep breath. What ever you want little one, we will make it happen. Your happiness is as important as mine is.

Be good and I will see you this weekend, if not sooner. You are not the only horny one.

I love you. Nathan, your lover, your Master.

Cassy sat and looked at the letter for a long time. Her first impulse was to rush to answer, to reassure him that she did not want to be gone from him for a second. Yet she felt a sense of exhilaration at the opened door. Suddenly so much seemed possible. She had a thought. She wanted a car. She wanted to learn to drive. Just the thought of a car she could use anytime was intoxicating.

Cassy looked at the time and grinned, time to run. She loved to run. "I ought to run a marathon." She turned the thought over in her head as she headed down to the tread mill. Why not. Suddenly everything was possible. As she warmed up, stretching before running, she wondered if the Professor was the one putting these ideas into her head. If so he was a genius.

She was still in a giddy mood when she got down to breakfast. She sneaked up behind Momma and wrapped her arms around her. She giggled as the rotund woman jumps and yelled. "Good morning Momma. I am starving."

"You bad girl. What has gotten into you?"

"I think the Professor calls it piss and vinegar. I call it happy, silly, delirious happiness."

"I told you that the Professor is a miracle worker."

"Everything seems miraculous today."

Jesus's voice rumbled through the kitchen. "Good morning ladies."

Momma sniffed, "Don't you good morning me. You know the rules around here. How dare you go around seducing the clients."

Jesus chuckled. "Me seduce her? You should have seen her put the moves on me. Don't get all huffy on me Momma. We both know Windy has a kind of special status here at the clinic. She is here only because she wants to be. Cam is letting her stay here until she finishes school. Let her have some fun now and then. You will probably find she is a little less of a bitch for at least the time I am here."

Momma sniffed and shook a wooden spoon at him. "You and your appetites."

"Mmm yes appetites." He turned and began to fill a bowl with granola. "Come on Cassy join me. Let me look at your pretty face as I enjoy my breakfast."

Cassy looked at this man who had been Nathan's lover. He was really very handsome. He had perfect smooth dark skin, strong even features, a large sensual mouth that seemed to be perpetually smiling. He had an interesting tribal tattoo that was only a shade darker than his skin that stretched from his forehead down around his right eye and onto his cheek. He wore multiple gold hoop earrings in each ear. His dreadlocks were thick as her finger and hung almost to his waist.

"Like what you see little one?" Cassy blushed and looked down, realizing she had been staring.

"I can see why my Master, Nathan, loves you." Her voice was almost inaudible, pitched for his ears alone.

Jesus stopped smiling and looked at her, a long evaluating look, like he had not really seen her before. "You are full of surprises little one. Welcome to our family. I think Nathan has made a good choice."

Cassy smiled softly and dug into her breakfast. Family, it had a wonderful sound.

After she had finished eating she asked Momma to let her help cook lunch, "The Professor has not made any appointments for me. And if I have any hope of finding a good husband I guess I better learn your art."

Jesus rumbled, "You learn to cook like Momma. I will forsake the road, marry you and settle down. I would fill your belly up with a dozen chocolate babies."

"I can't help but think Windy might be more your type."

"I will marry her too. I am far too much man for any one woman. Yes I think that is the answer to my gypsy ways. I will have a harem. Momma would be welcome too."

The Professor stood in the door. Cassy jumped to her feet. He waved at her to sit. "Jesus, you are incorrigible. But a harem might not be such a bad idea for you. That way your wives could commiserate with each other over your callous treatment." He turned to Cassy, "Did you get your letter?"

"Yes sir."

"Have you put much thought into what you want?"

Cassy looked around the kitchen, Jesus was sitting there looking at her, his eyes curious. Momma was busily peeling some carrots. She took a deep breath. "I want a car. And I guess I ought to learn how to drive." Jesus chuckled. She took a another breath. "I want to get rid of my apartment. I don't ever, ever, ever want to go back there again. If he gets mad and sends me away, I will just come here."

The Professor looked surprised. "Yes Cassy, I suppose you could. But I think that part of your life is behind you."

"I want to do something part time at the bookstore, anything, inventory. I would like to set up a book readers forum on the website. I have lots of ideas for how to run bookstores. I could help Nathan with that."

Cassy stopped and a tremble shook her. "It is kind of scary to talk about what you want. What if you can't have it."

Momma looked up from a sauce she was stirring. "The world is full of things we can't have, baby. Don't let it keep you from dreaming."

The Professor added. "Its like the lottery, if you don't buy the ticket, you can't win the prize. You have to keep setting your sights on a goal. You may never reach it and rarely is what we strive for exactly what we get. But the rewards along the way make up for the disappointments."

Jesus snorted, "Don't listen to him pretty girl, the goal fades before you and the rewards will be like dust in your mouth. All that is left is the road." For once the smile was gone. His voice was dark and filled with grief.

Cassy was jerked from her thoughts by this harsh observation. "Do you believe that?"

The big man shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not, but I don't want you to believe everything this quack tells you."

"Yet you stay on the road. What are you looking for there, if you have no goals and seek no rewards?"

"Answers girl, I have run out of questions and I still look for answers. I am just a rolling Jones." His tone sounded desperate. His joke falling flat.

"You have not run out of questions. You are full of questions. Maybe you are rolling away from something rather than looking for the answers. Maybe the answers are what you leave behind. Maybe the road is not calling you. Maybe it is mocking your fears."

Jesus stood up and was over her in an instant. Engulfing her upper arms in his massive hands he lifted her, his face close to hers. He was trembling. Cassy could see his eyes were filled with unshed tears. She leaned forward and gently kissed away a shining drop trapped in his eyelashes. "What have you left behind you, big man. What is it that you can't turn around to look at."

Momma was there, with her hands on Jesus's. "Put her down. Come on Jesus. Put her down."

"He won't hurt me Momma, he just needed to look at me closer. We needed to look each other eye to eye."

"Jesus, I know a lot about running away. I have run away from life all my life. You have your road. I had my bridge and my gray wind. It is the questions I ran away from. It was the answers that saved me. Let us love you Jesus. That is the answer. Thats all there is. The people who love you."

His voice was soft and trembled. "Will you love me Cassy?"

"If you will let me. If you will let all of us love you."

His arms slowly relaxed and he gently set her down on the floor. "How did you know?"

Cassy reached up and touched his face. "All my life I ran down an empty hallway, with fear behind me. I don't know a lot but I know about running, running and hiding."

The giant man carefully folded Cassy up in his arms holding her close to him. He looked across the room at the Professor and said, "You have been telling me this for years and I would not listen. How come this little girl can say the same thing and it touches my heart?"

The Professor's voice was soft. "Cassy is a special girl. She never had love, and yet she has so much to give. She needs all our love now and her need speaks to ours."

Jesus gently lowered his face to hers, his lips tender on her forehead. "Forget the cooking girl lets get married now."

"I belong to Nathan. I will always belong to him first. He holds my life in the palm of his hand. I would not have it any other way. I cannot leave him behind me anymore than you could."

"You said you would love me." His voice soft and puzzled.

"One time a wise man said to me that there is no limit to love. The more people you let into your life, the more people you love, the more love you will have to give. Make peace with Nathan. Forgive him. Let us love you."

"Sounds like Cassy might be the one that ends up with a harem." The Professor's voice was light. "Come on lets take a breather, this is a lot for one day. I think Jesus might just need to take a long ride today to clear his head and do some thinking."

"Actually a ride sounds like exactly like what I need. Give me a kiss for the road, Cassy girl." His lips were soft and rich against hers, softly enticing her to lean in and want more. A soft hum of happiness trembled on her lips as she opened her mouth and gently touched the tip of her tongue to his. He ended the kiss as softly as he began it. "Watch out girl. Jesus is the best kisser in the state, maybe the whole fucking world. I will spoil you for all the other men." He planted another quick peck on her forehead and swept out of the kitchen.

The Professor's voice sounded odd and tense. "Cassy, I have to talk to you in your room. Now." He took her arm and hurried her out of the kitchen.

Cassy's voice was confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, that needed to happen. That has needed to happen for way, way too long." He opened her bedroom door and pushed her into her room. Just as quickly his hands were on her, pulling her to him. "Just like this has needed to happen." His mouth was on hers, kissing deep and long, a low growl building deep in his throat. He ripped his mouth from hers, his breath harsh in his throat.

"Only if you give it freely. Only if you want it as much as I do. Only then. Will you give yourself to me?"

Cassy's mind was whirling. She was completely off balance, the emotional intensity of her confrontation with Jesus still echoing in her head and now this sudden raw sexual intensity from Cam. She nodded dumbly.

"Say it. Say it out loud."

"I give myself to you. I love you. I want you." Her voice was breathless and wondering.

A soft groan rose onto his lips. "Cassy, you are so amazing. How have you captured us so?" His lips were on her again, prying her mouth open, his tongue riot in her mouth. His hands were quickly stripping her. Her uniform seemed to melt away under his fingers. Everywhere he touched her skin it felt like electricity.

She pushed at his clothes trying to get closer. He unbuttoned his top shirt buttons and pulled it off over his head. His chest covered with thick black hair. He was lean and tall, his arms long and dark with hair. Cassy ran her hands over his chest, curious to feel the soft tickling feeling. He pushed off his pants and boxers in one movement. His cock bobbed up, as long and lean as he was.

Cassy leaned down and rubbed her face along the length of his cock, inhaling deeply his scent. "Mmm." The hot hard shaft twitched against her lips. Cassy looked up at him and gently ran her tongue along the underside of the head.

He pulled her away. "Easy girl, you've got me going too fast as it is." He took her hand and led her to the bed. He lay down and pulled her down to lay on top of him. His long hard cock was trapped between them, the shaft pushing between the folds of her cunt rubbing hard against her clit. Cassy shivered as the hair on his chest tickled her nipples. His hands stroked and then began to deeply massage the muscles of her lower back and ass. The force his hands holding her tight against him as he began to slowly grind against her.

Cassy began to whimper and jerk as she felt herself building. "Oh god I am close, please fuck me. I want you in me."

He slowed his movements against her and kissed her tenderly. His voice was gentle, "We can't Cassy. This was sort of spontaneous. We don't want any babies."

Cassy whimpered in frustration.

"Shh... it will be OK. Just relax." He continued to gently rub his hardness against her, carefully keeping the tip of his cock away from her cleft. "Relax, just let it feel good." He kissed her again, a soft growl of pleasure vibrating on his lips. Cassy tangled her hands in his thick hair and abandoned herself to the kiss, letting his hands rotate her hips and cunt against his cock.

Cassy could feel a deep sense of heat and tension building in her, she began to thrust herself against his hardness in a frenzy of spasming jerks, her ass clenching. Cassy felt like she was fucking him with her clit, trying to drive it into him with the same kind of primitive need she felt from Nathan as he would come.

A deep shuddering groan shook her as she came, a small warm gush of liquid from her cunt spilled over his cock and legs. Cam clutched her tight to him and came, his sperm slippery and hot between them.

He pushed her off to the side and rolled her onto her back. He carefully wiped his come from her stomach. "Can't let any of these swimmers get loose. They have amazing swimming skills." He gently kissed her stomach. "I am sorry that it had to be so careful. Next time we will maybe plan ahead. You took me kind of surprise."

"I took you by surprise? I am laying here wondering what the hell I did. I really need to know so I can do it again really soon."

"You love people, Cassy. You have no idea how long I have been trying to get Jesus to face the fact that he is running away. He is the most well defended, stubborn, uncooperative son of bitch. You walked up to him and reached through all that like it wasn't even there and touched him in a place no has been able to reach for ages, maybe ever. Watching you do that was so magical, so fucking amazing. I guess I just needed to be closer to that."

"What is Jesus running from?"

He lay next to her and gently trailed his fingers over her naked skin. "Love. You know that. He and Nathan had the most intense love hate relationship I have ever seen. They are literally night and day. Extrovert and introvert. Primitive and civilized. Loud and quiet. My god the battles those two would have, yet they could not end it. Added to that is the fact that Jesus has never come to terms with the side of him that loves men. He would blame Nathan for that as well."

"How do you fit into this?"

"Perceptive of you to see that this is my story too. I am older than both Jesus and Nathan. We were all at university, Nathan was studying music, I was finishing up a couple of bachelor degrees I had started when I was studying medicine. Jesus was studying music and computer science."