Filmmaker 2 Of 3

Chapter 12. Movies

Although my self-confidence had greatly increased since arriving in Japan, it was nevertheless an incontrovertible fact that I was still a kid, a smart -- if I must say so myself -- yet naive, kid. I was on the cusp of 19. I went there to work in media and I'd been enjoying doing post-production, subtitling, and editing for Kamanai Studios on video projects such as promos, public service announcements, and even a few commercials.

Surprisingly, it took a few months before I learned that Kamanai made most of its income by also producing pretty standard (for the time, which was the turn of the century) porn videotapes.

I'd come to Japan with Kano (A Japanese citizen doing an internship in Washington, in his early/mid 20s so to me he was an "older man!") whom I'd met in the US and who'd gotten me the job because Kamanai was one of the companies that his family owned. At first we were an item, but shortly after arriving in Tokyo, Kano took off for Osaka to work on other family projects and I was left to my devices in Tokyo.

Eventually he decided that he'd go back to Washington to complete his internship. Before he departed we spent a little time discussing our relationship and mutually decided to end it, opting "to remain friends."

Whatever that truly means.

Fortunately, he was letting me stay in his place -- his large luxurious place in Tokyo -- until his internship ended the following spring.

For me, it one less thing to think about. Needing fewer things to think about was good. I had enough on my plate with my new fetishistic attitudes about sex. Adding to my array of stressors, may or may not have been the receipt of a letter from my parents who lived in the DC area telling me that they were getting a divorce.

In retrospect, my parents had been distant to each other for some time and maybe I'd felt it, but still it was a surprise. But it was one more thing I could do nothing about. Internally, I wished them all the best. I told myself I'd write to them with as much support as I could provide. I loved them and wanted them to be happy. It simply seemed that they might be happier apart.

As I said, fewer things to think about was good. So I would continue trying to get more actual work in the film industry -- even if for the time being it was the adult film industry in Japan.

For some bizarre reason I thought that after my first stint as a professional (sort of) second assistant film director, things would change in some dramatic and wonderful way.

As Puck says to Oberon in

Midsummer Night's Dream

, "What fools these mortals be."

I was one of those fools. And as long as I've brought up the play, let me cite another appropriate quote from the same work: "The course of true love never did run smooth." At the time, love and sex for me were conflicting nouns. Before learning about the pleasure I received from semen and cocks, they were two clearly differentiated words.

Now? Still mostly no idea.

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

Hmm. At that moment actually there was nothing in the way of love running except me when I'd go down to the gym at 5:00AM to get on the treadmill. I did love working out.

OK. So much for catching up.

I awoke the next morning, still trying to figure out who I was and what the hell I was doing. Slurping up semen and enjoying it as much -- No....more than normal sexual intercourse, climaxes included, was not anything I'd ever learned about in Sex Ed or even talked about with my girlfriends. All of my high school girlfriends tended to refer to semen by employing the technical term "yucky."

To make things even more confusing, I still had only had vaginal-penile sex with three guys.

But as of the previous night, I'd swallowed the semen of five others.

Was it abnormal that I had orgasms from watching cocks ejaculate, enjoying them coming in my mouth, playing with and then licking up their cum. And even being somewhat indifferent to those cock's owners?

Probably so.

It just occurred to me that I've been remiss: So I'm going to briefly return to the start of this tale (a year later actually) talking about working with a young actress who was feeling a little sick to her stomach. It was at that very moment that I was instructing her how to perform an action for the camera: to drink a glass of semen and to make it look like the best thing she'd ever tasted.

There were two other actresses in that video: Oki and Hana. Oki was telling her the story of how she, Hana, and I had met after a lavish dinner and fair/expo at an estate on Hokkaido.

Kyoko, said young actress, was listening intently to Oki's narrative as Hana added her insights and corrections as appropriate. I'd hoped that taking these few minutes, given that everyone wanted to wrap the shoot, would help Kyoko actually want to drink the glass of semen, or at least letting her know that lots of other actresses had done it too.

As I listened to Oki, I began to recall my own memories of that evening. In some ways it was a turning point for me in my career as a wanna-be filmmaker and as a woman with, shall I say, loose morals.

I'll get back to the more recent video shoot. Promise. But returning to waking up the morning after...

That previous afternoon and evening with Itachi and his four roommates changed me a bit. In just a short time things went from "Goodbye, Kano" (with his one impressive and lovely cock) to "Hello, five roommates" who were conveniently located downstairs. And with their five cocks! Their five slightly smaller, but

professional

cocks!

A few days after that afternoon bukkake video shoot and my introduction to a wonderfully convenient supply of semen, after work I went downstairs for a visit.

I received a warm welcome from the three that were home. I was offered and gratefully accepted some extra food they'd purchased for dinner from one of the nearby convenience stores.

Sitting at the table, the guys told me how exciting that evening was. They detailed all of the things I did that were the hottest. These included the various ways I'd played with their cum, seeing me in my bra, and the appreciative and exciting sounds I made as I was enjoying their semen.

"Sakura," Hiroaki said, "none of us has ever seen breasts like yours. There are women in magazines and in movies who have large breasts, but often they have quite a bit of meat on their bodies. And, we've never seen them in person. Seeing you in your bra was totally hot."

"I could have masturbated and come in no time just looking at you in that bra," Tatsuya added.

"You could make a lot of money at some of the clubs just from men wanting to see you in your bra, and even more if you took it off. I'd bet they'd pay a lot of money just to buy one of your used bras," Takashi said.

"And if you danced a little, or just shook your breasts... Well, you could probably name your price," Hiroaki said.

My libido initially reacted to Tatsuya's "come in no time" and my hands almost moved to unhook my bra, but I still wasn't quite comfortable showing my chest to them.

A discussion followed as they educated me on the variety of men's entertainment in certain parts of Tokyo. I was amazed at how much money I could make just by showing my body.

For the time, as I said, it wasn't anything I was interested in doing.

They also reminded me that any time I'd want to suck their cocks, they'd be more than willing. How sweet!

"But what if I just wanted your cum?" I said.

The consensus was that they'd enjoy simply jerking off and coming for me. It again reminded me that I'd only had three cocks in my mouth -- or in any place else. As the evening went on, replete with tales of the male orgasm and its output, my body became ever more aroused.

It was unfortunate that they all had to get up early in the morning to work in another studio's bukkake video. They were all sad that they couldn't jerk off for me; they needed to shoot as much semen as possible in the next day's shoot so it was a dry evening.

Except for my pussy!

I went upstairs, realizing my disappointment. I hadn't quite realized how much I was hoping to snag some semen from them that evening.

Over time as we got to know more about each other, I began to really like the five of them.

After several more weeks at work, editing audio as well as video and subtitling, my boss Juro confirmed what my boys had told me about the bulk of what Kamanai did. Still, I continued to do my work. So, rather than editing, color grading, doing sound clean-up and occasional translation, Juro asked me to start doing many of those things for porn videos too. I also used some tools for making genitals into mosaics. Fortunately, after a relatively short period of time this task was thankfully taken away from me and possibly outsourced.

Without realizing it, I was learning a lot about sex in the flood of videos I edited. Of course, it was almost all "porn sex," i.e., not sex the way an average couple would probably make love. Nevertheless, I enjoyed doing the work.

Sometimes, I'd fantasize about the couples having sex and wonder what it would be like to be with a man again. (It had been some time since Kano had disappeared from my life.) Or even two men! But whenever I'd get horny and simply desired cum, I had my guys downstairs.

Rai, the independent director who'd directed the first shoot on which I'd been a camerawoman, had begun to offer me some cameraperson work on a semi-regular basis and I always jumped at the opportunity. In addition to bukkake films which were quite popular, I also shot some more standard man/woman porn with the occasional 2 men/1 woman scene thrown in. I let Juro know about the work I was doing for Rai, hoping that he might offer me some cameraperson work. He told me that he knew and that he'd heard that I'd done great work, but he said he had all the camera work covered with existing people.

So as the guys -- my five "soup" boys -- became my friends, I saw them once or twice a week. We'd sometimes go to dinner or to the movies, but we didn't have big semen orgies often. We had developed a comfortable friendship, one that strangely involved a sexually perverted component, but a friendship nonetheless.

I learned that all of them had been bitten by the non-porn showbiz bug. Takashi and Nori both had had some acting school classes and started looking for legitimate acting work. Hiroaki was learning about audio, sound recording, and mixing. And Itachi and Tatsuya both wanted to make films and videos. When they weren't taking their university entrance exam classes (AKA cram classes) and studying, they each spent time pursuing these goals.

And they continued to work as jerk-off boys. Having done it for a relatively long time, they all began to make a little more money. Nothing to write home about, but at least it was something. And of course, no one would actually write home to say "I got paid for jerking off on this pretty actress's face three times today!"

But that's beside the point.

Although I would sometimes see them during the week, our get-togethers usually were on weekends. In not much time I realized how silly it was for me to imbibe their cum without having real contact with their cocks. So, when we did have relaxed weekend meet-ups I'd have the chance to work on my blowjob skills. They'd always tell me that whatever I did excited them. To my delight they came a lot and often. Still I wanted to improve my technique. Plus, I found that sucking a cock was sexually satisfying for me too, something about the hard wet thing sliding in and out of my mouth over my lips.

My talks with Juro had become more regular. He told me some personal things about himself and I began to feel comfortable sharing some of mine with him. Still, the focus of most of our time with one another was on movies and the making thereof. I was only somewhat surprised to learn that he had a pretty extensive knowledge of the great directors. We discussed everyone from Frank Capra to Quentin Tarantino to Stanley Kubrick to Billy Wilder. And of course we always included Kurosawa Akira and Miyazaki Hayao. He knew a lot about the films of Hitchcock as well as Sergio Leone, Polanski, Demme, Coppola, Fellini, Curtiz, Forman, Wyler, the list went on.

For me, it was a treat to talk with someone who really knew about many of the things that were passions for me. It was clear that films were a passion for him too, but that he rarely had a chance to discuss it with anyone.

Tangent, mea culpa: Of course, even after several months of immersion in Japanese I occasionally still had some communication issues, but I could see progress. We spoke both English and Japanese at my house growing up in the US and yet a language that requires some conjugation of adjectives rubbed me the wrong way. (e.g., in Japanese when you say something was delicious you conjugate the verb in present tense and conjugate the adjective in past tense. I mean, jeez, WTF!) Fortunately, pronouns are infrequently used so verb conjugations in some ways were much easier. Plus, for nouns and verbs you don't have to worry about whether they're singular or plural.

As our relationship grew Juro began to confide in me some of the problems at Kamanai and what his hoped-for plans were. He suggested that I could possibly be a part of a solution. I was glad to offer to help.

It wasn't all business strategy, however. As I said, we'd often discuss traditional and classic films, filmmaking, and scripts. Sometimes, we'd throw in some of the not-quite-Oscar worthy material in the adult medium.

One late afternoon knowing that it was going to be a long night, Juro ordered dinner for us. We sat in his office and, not wanting the other members of the staff to know of Kamanai's problems, he closed the door. On the door's back were a few old Playboy centerfolds. (It was clear from the lighting, make-up, and especially the hair styles that the photos were probably from the 60s and 70s.) I asked Juro about these particular women.

He evaded a direct answer expressing some embarrassment.

"I don't know, Sakura. They have helped me through some difficult times," was his enigmatic response. "Maybe one day..."

I decided not to push it. As he said, maybe one day he'd tell me more. Still, I was curious if he'd masturbated sitting at his desk looking at the centerfolds. Or perhaps he was in here with another young PA or even an actress, screwing her brains out but fantasizing about one of those women on the door. Well, maybe in good time I'd find out. Still, it was kind of sexy.

Our conversation then revisited one of our discussions about classic films. After satisfying our stomachs -- and a couple of beers -- we began joking about scenes in legitimate movies and how they could make them pornographic.

With both of us being Hitchcock fans, Juro brought up

North By Northwest

from 1959. He talked about the scene in the house near Mt. Rushmore. Could the entire plot have been compromised by a little group (MMF) action? In an earlier part of the film, one day after watching it I had investigated a scene where it seemed they overdubbed a short bit of dialog.

I said to Juro, "Did you know about the dining car scene on the train where the character Eve Kendall played by Eva Marie Saint says to the Roger Thornhill character (Cary Grant), 'I never discuss love on an empty stomach'? In the original Kendall says, 'I never make love on an empty stomach.' The studio didn't think that would fly with the censors."

"Really?" Juro said. "That's funny, especially in light of today's sense of morality. I wonder if those decades have actually made things better. I was just thinking about 1934's

It Happened One Night

. When Peter Warne (Clark Gable) and Ellen 'Ellie' Andrews (Claudette Colbert) are hitchhiking. Rather than simply picking up her skirt a little and showing a little leg, maybe Colbert should have opened her blouse and flashed her boobs."

I laughed out loud as I wasn't expecting such a playful reaction.

"If they were my boobs I know it would have caused an accident. People have accidents when my boobs are rather obviously on display."

Surprising me again, Juro told me that he was initially fascinated or probably obsessed with my breasts. But over time and getting to know me he had realized what a good, smart, kind, and positive person I was. (Of course, that's my paraphrasing and I may be inflating his words, but still they were nice to hear.)

Then I put a hand under each of my breasts and mock-hefted them a little.

"So," I kidded him, a little surprised at my surely alcohol-induced bravado, "no interest in seeing the girls, huh?"

He smiled and said, "Sakura, I think that might be the alcohol talking." He put down his beer and looked at me seriously. "Of course, I'd love to see your breasts. I think I'd like to do quite a few things with your breasts as well as other parts of your body." Then he stopped for a few seconds. "But I really enjoy our working relationship, how we can share ideas about sex, porn, and even life in general. And I am your boss. I think it's best if we don't get involved physically. Do you understand?"

I thought about it, possibly a little hurt that he didn't want to touch my breasts. But then I came to my senses and thanked him for "being the adult in the room."

After a few moments of silence I returned to

It Happened One Night

. "You know, rather than just flashing her tits, she could have offered to give Danker, (the actor Alan Hale) who stops and offers her a ride, a blowjob if he'd take both of them."

We joked about similar things for a bit and then he received a call telling him that he was needed on set for the night's shoot.

"Juro, thanks. I always enjoy our talks."

"My pleasure, Sakura."

Just as he was leaving to go to one of the stage sets, I thought about Claudette Colbert's character offering a blowjob to a stranger. It gave me an idea.

"Before you go, you know that I came to Japan to learn more about filmmaking and that I want to make my own -- non-porn -- films? Well, what if I came up with a script for a porn film, do you think Kamanai would make it?"

"Well, first of all, just because you can write a script doesn't mean that it'll make a film that people will buy. As you know, we need to think about its marketing, target audiences, length, budget, how many actresses would be required (because as you know the guys are pretty inexpensive), and shooting schedule. Then there are locations, below the line workers, manufacturing, distribution, release schedule... Sakura, you know a lot about what we do now and how we work. There are many things to consider. So I can't say for sure, Sakura, because I'm not the only one who can greenlight spending money on product (film). If the script is worthy, perhaps, I could sell it to the powers that be. Listen, I've got to run. I too have enjoyed our talks. I look forward to next time. And if you come up with a commercially viable porn script, let me read it. I don't want to discourage you. I'm just being realistic."

And with that, he ran out.

As I was cleaning up the remnants of dinner from his office, my mind went into overdrive on my new project: Writing a porn script.

# # #

Over the next week I spent most of my spare time at my computer working on an outline for a new porn video. I was also invited to an annual dinner/fair for adult entertainment industry execs (known simply as "The Show") that was coming up in a month or so. It was up on the northern island of Hokkaido. I was told that I was expected mostly to be eye-candy for one of the senior executives in the organization based in Osaka. I asked Juro and he told me that it was legit, that I was not expected to sleep with anyone or do anything except possibly act as a translator for the senior exec Himura san (Mr. Himura) and be his companion for the dinner and the fair.