Chapter 46: Southern Decadence
Mom and my sister Angela had to evacuate their home in Felicity because of an approaching tropical storm. It was not a hurricane but it had a lot of rain in it. Her subdivision was not likely to flood but the road to it was and they did not want to be stranded.
They came to my place but although I lived just seventy miles inland my small bachelor pad was over twenty five feet above sea level. My home became crowded quickly.
I did see that Mom was worried about the storm and was not able to relax. My sister was fine except for a bit of anxiety about college, she was going to be an incoming freshman at Enormous State University that next week.
They needed a distraction so I asked, "Who wants to go to New Orleans?" I asked.
Both of them did but I soon found it difficult finding hotel rooms and I had to tone down their enthusiasm. I had forgotten that weekend was Labor Day weekend and that was the week of Southern Decadence. I explained to the ladies what Souther Decadence was, (a celebration of being gay), and Angela asked if it was for lesbians too.
Mom slapped her butt and I said yes.
Mom may not have known I knew of my sisters sexual orientation. Sis had probably not mentioned that for her eighteenth birthday I had gifted her with a night with my then girlfriend.
I eventually did find one room was available at the Hilton Riverside that had two queen beds. Both nodded and I booked it for five days, Tuesday to Sunday. I planned for us to come back after the parade that Sunday.
I let Angela drive my car after we left the city until our rest stop just east of Lafayette. She figured out I let her because it was a boring drive. I told her that she should be happy because she would get to look around for the interesting part. Angela punched my shoulder anyway. Mom giggled.
This was my fourth visit to New Orleans and I knew the French Quarter and downtown areas pretty well so the ladies were going to have a semi competent guide.
We settled into the hotel OK but were hungry so I called to see if we could get reservations and was surprised we could. I told the women we had dinner reservations in thirty minutes.
"We can't be ready in thirty minutes."
"It's to the original Emeril's."
They were ready in ten minutes and we were walking in ten minutes later. Our table was ready so we were seated right away.
What to order became a conundrum, we wanted everything in the menu. We decided to each order something different and give each other tastes.
I ordered the duck and was quickly reluctant to give the others a taste. They were just as reluctant with their dishes so we never did share.
I did not look but I saw my dinner bill had a lot of numbers on it. I was glad we each had only one drink. The ladies took a lot of napkins out of the restroom for souvenirs.
We took a cab to the one lesbian bar I knew, I wanted that itch they had to be scratched. Mom and Angela were soon very well entertained.
I ordered drinks for us and the bartender asked me how old my sister was.
"Eighteen, a college freshman," I answered.
"On second thought fix her coke with lemon and cherry and sprinkle just a bit of pepper in it. One of us needs to be sober."
"The bartender said, "That sounds like an awful drink, let me make her the designated driver special. They are free anyway."
"You are so smart. Thank you."
"You are welcome. A bit extra in your Mom's drink?"
"Yes, please."
Both loved their drinks and wanted another. The bartender smiled at me.
I was sure she didn't remember me but on my previous trip my gay friend Bruce decided he wanted to go there so we did. He spent his time chatting up some t-girls as the bartender and I graded his effectiveness.
Her name was Lauren and she was a short, terminally cute blonde. I liked her but assumed she was a lesbian. She likely assumed I was gay. Everyone that night assumed I was gay too. I was never asked.
That evening I found a corner of the bar where I could be comfortable and out of the way and still keep my eye on Mom and Angela. It was the same seat I had occupied when there with Bruce.
Lauren replenished my beer and Mom and Angela's drinks without being asked. I noticed I now had a tab. I had not secured it with a credit card so I took one out of my wallet and placed it on the bar. It was the second time we had done exactly that.
It was a while before she ran it which she did as soon as two other bartenders joined her behind the bar. The club was getting very crowded very quickly.
Perhaps an hour later I saw Mom agreeing to something with two women. She and Angela came to me and kissed me saying, "Don't wait up."
I was a bit concerned, I had hoped they would have fun and perhaps enjoy an experience but not on our first night.
My bartender said, "Don't worry. They will enjoy those two. They are visitors but have been coming here twice a year, they come here for Mardi Gras too. The Mom is a professor at UNLV."
"Thanks but now I have been abandoned."
"You are in New Orleans during weird week. Have fun. There are two gay bars full of interesting people on Bourbon street."
"Yes, I know. And there are a couple of items on my bucket list I could check off. Like you said it is interesting there. I need to sign my tab."
She brought it to me and I signed it and added a twenty dollar tip.
"Have fun," she said as I walked out.
Instead of the gay section of Bourbon street I walked towards Canal looking for changes. I knew one transvestite place was gone and that there were new strip joints but had not figured out which was the one that had lured Grandma and Grandpa by claiming it was family night.
Grandpa was a sucker for a good line but he told me that it was Grandma that could not resist it. It was also Grandma that got the lap dance. It had not been their first time in a strip joint.
I went into three places that had good music and left each time the band took a break. I ogled bare tits exposed for beads.
I got a hot dog from the same cart I had gotten one a year before, and two and four years before. When I got to Canal the long day caught up with me and I went to the hotel room.
I was surprised to see Mom and Angela asleep in their bed. It was just two hours or so after they left me at the bar.
I went to the bathroom and took a shower then started to get in bed when a mostly nude woman got out of Mom's bed and walked out of the room. I don't think she ever saw me.
I looked in their bed and only Mom was in it. She was nude.
I covered her up and I was doing my best not to panic about my sister when Angela came in, mostly nude, and slipped into bed with our mother.
I knew it was my fault, I should have raised them better. I was asleep in thirty seconds.
We spent the next day walking around the French Quarter and buying junk. We walked down St. Peters and ate at a restaurant next to Jackson Square, had coffee and beignets, and went to the French Market were my ladies bought more junk. We took the Riverwalk streetcar back to the hotel.
After a shower and a nap we went to NOLA, Emeril's restaurant in the French Quarter. We did sample the other's food that time.
With no assistance from me they found their way to the lesbian bar from there.
The bartender kissed my cheek and praised me for my heroism in bringing my Mom and my sister back. She then kissed me hard but said, "Sorry, I am a lesbian too."
"But, but, I'm in love with you," I blubbered.
