Falling in the Rain

"Tonight?" I nodded at Kenna. "Okay... let me think. I can get Kelly to let you borrow a dress, and I'll do your make up. Oh, Em, you'll be gorgeous by the time I'm done with you." I was glad for the first time in my life for the parents we had. I lived with my mother who... well she had some bad.. Illegal habits concerning Meth. So she wouldn't care if I was gone for the night.

And Kenna's parents were never home. At that time they were cross country doing God knows what.

We finished up for the day at school and then virtually ran to her house. When we got there, her older sister Kelly was just getting home from college. Kelly and I were about the same size. Five seven and pudgy. We'd traded clothes before, so I knew that it wouldn't be a problem to borrow a sun dress and sweater for tonight.

By six that night, I had on a beautiful blue sun dress with little flowers on the top of the bodice, and a white sweater. Kenna let me borrow a pair of black sandals. They were plain with just a stretchy material over the top to hold your foot in. They were incredibly comfortable.

The door bell rang as I was putting my hair into a bun. Running my hands under cold water I slicked it back and put a small dab of hair jell in to make it stay. Sliding my glasses back on I looked at myself in the mirror.

The squarish black frames of my glasses made me look intelligent while the make up Kenna put on me made me look less bookish and more blossoming flower.

"Emma, your date has arrived," Kenna sang as she entered the bathroom. "Woah. You look gorgeous. Like something out of a fifties movie." I laughed.

"I think I'll stay with gorgeous."

Kenna grinned. "Come on, he's waiting."

I stepped into the living room and smiled. Sam was looking at the family photo's on Kenna's fire place. "Hi, Sam." I mumbled, unsure of what to do.

He turned around quickly and a look of shock came over his face. "Wow." He came closer and picked up my hand kissing it gently. "You look beautiful, Emma." I blushed and looked at Kenna. I mouthed thank you, and she smiled.

"Shall we go?" I nodded and let him lead me out.

"Have fun!" Kenna yelled and waved us off.

Sam led me to a nice Honda civic. It had to be new. It had the new car smell inside. He opened the door for me and helped me in before running to his side and getting in.

"This is a really nice car, Sam. Is it new?"

He grinned. "Yeah, I got it last month. Kind of a reward to myself for doing so well at the school."

We drove along, making small talk, until he pulled in front of one of my favorite restaurants.

"You like Serevello?" I asked, surprised. It was kind of a hole in the wall Mom and Pop type place, but great. Best Italian this side of Rome.

"Yeah, I love this place. Its my favorite."

"Me too. How funny." He helped me out of the car, and to my surprise, didn't let go of my hand as we walked toward the restaurant.

We sat in one of their circular booth's, and as dinner wore on, we scooted closer and closer to each other. When he was sure no one was looking, he would kiss me on the lips quickly and quietly, and then I would blush.

He rested his hand on my knee as we talked and ate. It almost gave me the illusion that we were a couple and were just enjoying an evening away from home.

He told me all about his life at school, and what he wanted to do with his life. "How many guys do you know that want to teach third grade?" He laughed and shook his head. "But that was when I had my favorite teacher, and besides, get em' while their young right?" I laughed and agreed with him.

After dinner he asked if I wanted to see a movie. It was nearing eight, and the sky was dark with stars. "Can we go for a walk instead? There is a park down the block, and it has a beautiful little stream."

He kissed the hand he held in his. "That sounds wonderful." We walked hand in hand to the park and down its dimly lit paths.

As we walked in combinable silence in the park, holding hands. I had ignored the thoughts racing through my mind all night, but in the silence, it was unable to ignore. Part of me wanted to pull away from his hand. What if another student or teacher saw us holding hands? I wasn't stupid. I knew what would happen to him, and to me. We would both be ostrisized, he would be fired and I would be labeled a slut.

I glanced up at him as we walked and he smiled as he caught me staring. What was wrong with me? I was sure I would be fine, now that I thought about it. Who would see us walking in a deserted park at dusk? I wanted to knock on wood, or cross my fingers, but found myself unwilling, lest he see me do it and questioned me about it.

It was not something I wanted to talk about.

I looked back up at him and nudged him. He looked at me with wide eyes and I laughed.

"What?" I asked smiling.

"Nothing," he said chuckling. Squeezing my hand we neared the stream and sat on a bench near it.

We talked about everything that could have possibly come up. I told him about my parents, as hard as it was, and he was comforting. He told me it didn't mean my parents habits were my own, and that I as a different person than they were.

No one had ever made me feel so accepted. We talked about all our favorite things and discovered we had much in common. Before we knew it, it was going on eleven. "I should probably get home."

Sam nodded. "I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you, Emma. I wouldn't do that. I hope you know that."

I smiled up at him. "I know Sam. Your a great guy. I just wish there weren't so many things keeping us apart." I stood and walked to the edge of the stream. He followed closely behind.

He sighed. "I know. I wish I could show you off to the world as my girlfriend."

That stopped me cold. "You want me to be your girlfriend?"

He looked down at the ground before looking back up at me. "Is that really a bad thing?"

I laughed and hugged him. "Of course not, Sam. I was just surprised. That's all." He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. My head fit under his chin perfectly, and he rested it there. I don't know how long we held on to each other like that, but when we finally pulled away, Sam touched my face lightly.

"Can I kiss you Emma?"

I smiled, as my heart melted. "Yes, you can." He leaned down and touched his lips to mine. It wasn't urgent this time. It was slower, more meaningful. As if his heart were in the act. I kissed him back with everything I felt for him.

When we pulled away from each other, he grinned down at me. I smiled back. "Lets get you home. It is a school night after all."

I laughed. "Yes, I guess it is."

Sam drove me back to Kenna's house to get my things and waited in the car while I told Kenna all the details. "Oh, Emma, how romantic!" Kenna squealed.

"I know!" I whispered excitedly. "Tell Kelly I will bring her dress back tomorrow after school, cleaned and ready to wear."

"Will do," she promised.

I gave her a quick hug and headed for the door. "Thanks Kenna."

"What are best friends for?" she grinned back.

I laughed and headed back outside with my back pack and bag of clothes I'd worn earlier that day.

Sam waited patiently, watching for me I think, because as soon as I stepped outside he climbed out of the car and opened my door for me again. I slid inside, putting my bag on the floor.

I gave him the directions to my house and he drove there without missing a step. We pulled up to my parents house and parked the car.

"I had a great time tonight, Sam." I said smiling.

"Me too, Emma. I don't think I've had such a good time, well, in a long time." I nodded, suddenly nervous. He must have felt the tension in the air, because he grinned at me and climbed out of the car. Opening my door, he took my backpack from me and insisted on walking me to the door.

"I'm an old fashioned guy." He said as I giggled and shook my head.

At the door I pulled my keys out and unlocked the door. "Thanks, Sam. I really did have a great time. I'm not just saying it." He laughed.

"I know. I did too."

The front door slid open and my mother stood there. I didn't mind so much that my mom came to the door at that moment, as he was going to have to meet her sooner or later, but it was what she was wearing. A sheer crop top, in which you could see EVERYTHING, shorty short shorts that showed off all her cellulite and stretch marks from child birth, and she wasn't wearing her false teeth.

Embarrassment wasn't the word.

"What had you out so late young lady?" She glanced over at Sam. "Oh, I see." She grinned at him before nudging me with her elbow. "I hope you used a rubber!"

"MOTHER!" She laughed hysterically, as my face turned completely red and embarrassed. I turned to him. "Sam, I'm really sorry. She's not usually like this," I tried to explain.

Sam only laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Emma." He bid my mom good night and walked back down to his car.

"You got a good catch there, Emma girl. Cute, tall, and drives a nice car. I bet he paid for dinner didn't he?" I watched him leave, giving a wave as he pulled away from the curb.

"Yes, Mother he did." I whispered.

"Um um!" she laughed. "If you don't want him, give him to me!"

I rushed past her into the house and straight to my room.I flopped onto the bed and worried. Did he think I was the type to sleep with everyone know? Did he think I was just like my mother? Oh God, did he think I was a whore? I slipped off the dress and put it in the washer. Slipping on a long t-shirt and some shorts, I walked back to my room, nervously chewing my nails. I sat on my bed and thought about all sorts of possibilities and weather or not he would really like me after tonight. Changing the laundry, I put the dress in the dryer and told myself I was going to get some sleep, and that was that.

Only that wasn't that. I tossed and turned all night, replaying the nights events in my head. I slept little and in the morning as I dressed for school, I looked in the mirror. I looked like hell. Dark streaks under my eyes and I swear my hair was more curly than normal. I groaned. I just couldn't get myself to look... normal.

Giving up, I grabbed Kelly's dress and my backpack and headed to school.

The entire day was a drag. It seemed that no matter how long it really was, it seemed about ten hours longer. By lunch I was ready to shoot myself. It was Friday, and I knew Sam had lunch duty, so

I didn't bother to go by his room, and instead ate in a shaded grassy area with Kenna.

She prattled on about this and that, and I honestly tried to get into what she was talking about, but couldn't. So, I would nod when acceptable ask the appropriate questions and pretended I was interested in what she had to say. I gave her Kelly's dress, because I knew that as soon as class was over I was going home and sleeping. I dragged myself to my next class and fell asleep twice.

Fortunately the teacher didn't notice because my friend Jake next to me would poke me when he saw I was asleep. I wrote down on my calendar in my binder to get him a thank you card.

When math was done, I was it was eighth period. T.A. for Sam. A fresh bout of nervousness hit me like a ton of bricks, making me more alert for a few minutes, but by the time I got to the other building and to Sam's class, I was once again, a sleepy wreck.

I slinked into the room, my eyes lidded and ready to drop any second into a deep sleep. Sam was talking to a student in the back corner of the room when I walked in. He saw me, and his smile went to a worried glance as he watched me walk to the desk and drop down.

As the final bell rang for class to begin, Sam moved away from the back corner, and toward me.

"Okay guys, five more minutes of social time and then class work." He always gave his last periods some free time at the beginning to get their social work done for the period.

Walking up to my desk, there was enough noise that our conversation would be covered. "What is wrong Emma? You look terrible. Did something happen?" I shook my head, sighing.

"No, I just was up really late last night, and now I'm exhausted." Sam studied me for a moment before nodding.

"Did I keep you out too late?" He asked a bit worriedly.

"No, not at all. I had... things on my mind."

"Okay. Today is going to be a quiz and study period only, so if you want to take a nap you can. Just don't snore." He joked lightly.

I laughed weakly. "Thanks, Sam."

He grinned at me. "I'll take you home after school, okay? I don't want you walking when your so tired. Just give me a few minutes to pack up and I'll take you."

"You don't have to do that Sam, but I would appreciate it." He smiled and winked at me.

"Anything for you, Em."

My face turned beet red, causing him to laugh again. "Oh you," I said waving him off. "Go teach something."

He laughed again. "Yes, ma'am." He winked at me and walked to the front of the class to begin the lesson.

~~~~~

When the final bell rang, Sam looked up from grading tests in surprise. The students began to file out of the school for the weekend. Glancing over at Emma, he smiled. She'd slept the entire period.

He shook his head and went back to grading papers. When he finished the last paper he glanced over at her again. She was still asleep in the same position she had been when she first put her head down on the desk. Leaning back in his chair, he watched her sleep and let his mind wander.

What the hell was he doing? The same thought had been bothering him since their first kiss, and wouldn't leave him be. What the hell was so wrong with him that he couldn't find a girl his age that made his gut clench the way she did? He shook his head mentally, and pushed the thought away.

She was consenting. He knew that.

She's a student, you idiot, his mind almost screamed at him.

Only for a few more weeks, he repeated. Only a few more weeks.

Are you sure this is what you want? -his mind whispered.

He thought about that. He'd called up Candice and broken up with her over the phone before their date last night. He couldn't go out with Emma and have Candice on the back burner. He'd had a wonderful time with her, and he really wanted to continue to date her, but was it right? True, she was a student, but what did that matter if they wanted to see each other? Did she still want to see him?

He admitted to himself he'd been a bit pushy with kisses and touches yesterday, and was rushing into the whole 'girlfriend' thing kind of fast, but he couldn't seem to help it. Whenever she was concerned, he wanted everything he could get, and he wanted her to be exclusively his. From the first time he'd seen her in class, her smile captivated him. Her knowledge of the material was bordering on college level. She said she wanted to be a science teacher, and as far as he was concerned, she was well on her way to being just that. But what if she didn't want to be just his? She was only eighteen. What if she wanted to play the field?

And what about Prom?

Sam groaned inwardly. He knew she would make a big deal out of prom. He couldn't remember a time when he was in high school when girls didn't make a big deal of prom. It wasn't as if he could just go as her date. He would be fired then and who would hire him? Maybe he should leave her be, let her grow up a little and if they were still compatible after she was done with school, she would still want him.

The idea had merit, but not enough to make him go through with it.

Give her a choice, his mind told him.

He thought about that for a short while. Give her a choice. Let her decide if she wanted to be with him or if she'd rather wait and grow up a little first. He looked at her sleeping on the desk, and felt with cold certainty what he had to do.

He would give her the choice.

He only prayed she made the one he wanted.

Glancing at the clock, more time than he thought had gone by. Standing, he walked over to the desk and gently shook her shoulder. "Em, wake up. Wake up, Emma." She came round slowly, looking over her surroundings until she spotted him. When she did, it was like a switched was flipped in her mind, and she looked much more alert.

"Hey Em." He smiled at her. "It is a little past three thirty. Do you still want me to give you a ride home?" She looked slightly startled, but then nodded slowly. "Alright, let me pack up my things and we can go."

He turned back to the desk, and placed the extra tests he'd yet to grade in his satchel. Turning back to her, he was surprised to see her wide awake and standing at the door. He picked up his keys from the chalk board and headed out behind her.

He locked the classroom up and led her out to the parking lot where his car was parked. Pressing the unlocking key on his key ring, the car beeped and the lights flashed as it unlocked the doors. He

walked to his side and opened the back door, tossing the leather satchel inside. She was already climbing inside the car when he closed the back door.

Sliding in himself, he slipped the key into the ignition and started it up smoothly. He pulled out of the parking lot, accelerating steadily.

He knew he was going to have to talk to her soon, but it seemed like she was in a mood. She hadn't spoken to him since she woke in the class room. As he neared her house, he slowed down.

"I think we need to talk, if that's okay, Emma."

Emma turned in her seat and watched him carefully. "What about?"

Words suddenly deserted him. "Prom," he blurted out. He mentally slapped his head. He sounded completely idiotic.

"Prom?" she asked dazed. "Prom isn't until May."

"I know," he ground out. "Look, I've been thinking."

"Ah," she said, looking out the window.

"Ah, what?" He asked.

"Ah, I know where this conversation is going."

"And where is it going?" He asked as he parked in front of her house.

"Prom? Your going to tell me I'm too young for you and that you would rather see someone your own age. Didn't you say you were seeing someone yesterday?" She didn't wait for his response, but waved it away. "It doesn't matter. Look, have a great life, Sam. I mean Mr. Perry. I never meant to make you think you were babysitting."

Like quicksilver she moved out of the car and up the steps to her house before her words even sank completely in. When they had, he looked up at the house just as she closed the door.

How could she think that? He wasn't trying to tell her he didn't want to see her anymore. Far from it. He looked back up at the house wondering if he should go up there and correct her misconception. He shook his head one last time, and watched her house for a second, hoping she would come out. She never did. Sighing, he slipped the car back into drive and drove away....