Faing the Vows

Chapter 14

Ava

I woke in the comfortable bed Max had prepared for me on the eighth morning in his home. I'd been avoiding him for days now, sleeping while he was home, pacing the floor while he slept. I was a fool and I'd embarrassed myself thoroughly.

When I slept in this huge bed by myself I got lonely. It wasn't just the change of environment either. Sure, being in a different place had its disadvantages. I had to consciously think of where I was in the middle of the night when I woke up to use the toilet. It felt foreign, and I swore this bed was facing east-west, not north-south like mine. But none of that was what messed me up.

Max slept in my bed one night, and suddenly I was addicted to having him hold me while I slept. his arms fit around me. His skin pressed against mine just perfectly, and he was such a gentleman too. I was practically naked, but he just held me. He didn't even try to put the moves on me or touch me, and that was all I wanted.

I didn't know why I kissed him. Maybe because I wanted that connection I felt that night in my kitchen, or maybe I was starting to see something in him that I couldn't resist.

Maybe I was just stupid and didn't want to die without one last hurrah.

The bed was warm, but my body was screaming to relieve my bladder. I folded the covers back and sat up, but before I even stood up I stretched my arms wide, then rubbed my eyes. I didn't know how long I could survive this hiding game. Max was a smart man. He'd figure out soon enough that I was avoiding him under his own roof and he'd corner me and ask about it. I didn't want to have to fess up to that. He'd be hurt and I'd feel even worse.

When my bladder was empty, I brushed my teeth and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was dirty. I needed a shower, but I had no motivation. I had only taken one "shower" since I got here, and that was only in an attempt to avoid Max. I jumped into the bathroom when he knocked on my bedroom door and made sure the water was running so he could hear it. I knew he had to get to work and I just didn't want to look at him. Not when my heart felt this way.

But despite my depression and now the mental anxiety of trying to understand my own motives and why I would throw myself at a man I knew so little about--let alone my rule about not letting emotions get involved--I decided a shower was necessary.

I stripped my clothing off and started the water. The glass shower doors fogged up as the water got hot and steam filled the air. I picked a towel off the rack above the toilet and hung it on the outside handrail of the shower door, then checked to make sure there was soap and shampoo. There was, along with body wash, wash rags, a razor, and bath oil. There was also a selection of loofas and even conditioner. It was like whoever prepared this for me knew me personally.

The water felt amazing. I spent ages soaking up the heat and comfort. Then I shampooed my hair and used conditioner so it was easier to brush through later. I washed myself head to toe, rubbing in the bath oil for smoother skin. Then I shaved every trace of hair from my body, except for my arms, face, and head. When I was finally clean and relaxed and ready to get out, I reached for the knob. But someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"Sorry, Sarah! I'm in the shower," I called out, hoping the maid wouldn't just burst in here. The doors were fogged, but I was certain she'd get a show anyway. I couldn't just turn off the water though. I'd get too cold while I waited for her to go away, so I left the water running and just stood under the hot flow.

But whoever it was didn't go away. The door started to swing open and I tensed and covered my body with my hands, and Max walked right in, boldly entering my personal space without apology.

"They found a lung," he blurted out and shock hit me.

I still had my tits covered, and one hand over my groin, but I stepped closer to the glass. "They did?" I asked. My heart was pounding with both the surprise of him walking right in, and the new anxiety of what was about to happen. I was going to be cut open from collar bone to belly button.

"They did, and the lung is on its way from New York. We have forty minutes to get to the hospital and get you prepped." Max didn't back out of the room. He didn't turn away. He stayed facing me as I stood behind a thin layer of condensation and shook with nerves. And he didn't seem to make the connection that I was in this shower naked, and he was out there watching me.

"Max, I... uh..." I couldn't very well snap at him to get out of the room. He owned this place, and he was my husband. "Towel please?" I asked him and he moved forward. He opened the door but didn't look in at me as he put his arm through the opening and handed me the towel.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," I told him, then I wrapped the towel around my torso and tucked it into itself before stepping out of the shower and turning the water off.

I stood next to him, though now he had finally turned away, and tapped on his shoulder. "Do me a favor?" I asked.

"Anything," he said, without even so much as a glance at me.

"Tell Kelsey... and stay with me at the hospital?" It made me nervous to have such a huge operation without my mom around. "And call my mom too? I'm too scared."

"I'll fly her in..." he told me, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

Mom would take one look at this place and realize the wealth I could tap into, and though she would never mean to, she'd push me to stay in this fake marriage to Max just so I wouldn't suffer. Not to mention she would tap into his bank account and generous personality and her drug and alcohol habits would get out of control again.

"No, please don't. She's best where she is...." Then I thought about how I hadn't seen her in a while, and how I didn't have money to go visit her. "But when this is all over, you could take me to see her."

"Done..." He nodded resolutely. "I'll meet you downstairs for a glass of water before we leave in about fifteen minutes."

"Water? I'm starving!" I scrunched my nose up but realized he was probably only doing what the doctor's said.

"Nothing to eat before surgery... Sorry." Max turned and gripped both my arms. "But when this is over I'll buy you whatever you want to eat every day for the rest of your life, which better be forty to sixty years." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I almost melted.

"Go... I have to get dressed."

I watched him walk out, then heard the bedroom door click shut. Nothing calmed me more than feeling his kiss. Why did he do that? I'd never know. But I liked it. And I hoped there were many more like that.

Chapter 15

Max

Ava was resting, similar to the way she had for the past twelve days. I went home at night, chased off by the nursing staff so I was forced to offer myself some self-care time. I could've stayed with her. On paper she was my wife, and in reality, I loved her and I wanted to stay. But even Ava agreed that I needed time to rest. Besides, they wouldn't let me sleep with her. The risk of infection was so high, and with immunosuppressants and all those tubes, it made it risky.

The surgery had gone off without a hitch, though she had been sedated for seventy-two hours as her body adjusted to things. When she woke up, I was able to tell her the story of a young man who had been driving his motorcycle and was hit by a drunken driver. His parents sent a letter from them, hoping at some point they would be able to meet the woman who got his lungs because he had been adamant that he wanted to help others if he ever died.

The precious moment brought us both to tears. I sent the family a hefty check Ava would never know about to honor their son's legacy and I heard they had donated it to a local high school to start a scholarship fund for students to attend the local community college. It couldn't have been a better way to honor the young man, in my opinion.

I sat watching her sleep, so peaceful and sweet. But in the back of my mind there were things weighing me down. Foreman had left seventeen voicemails, more than one a day, and Dad had stopped by twice to lecture me, thinking he was going to berate me into returning to work. I knew I couldn't stay away forever, but I managed to get a bit done from my phone during Ava's many naps.

There was no way I was leaving her side, not until we were home. She would never admit it, but she was nervous and she wanted me here. I could see it in her eyes every evening when I went home. Hell, I saw it when I just left the room to use the toilet.

"Mr. Donovan, you have a call again." Betty, the fair skinned older nurse spoke to me from the doorway. When I shut my phone off, the masses switched to calling the hospital line to annoy me. I told them to stop, but they were persistent.

I glanced at Ava, deep in sleep, and decided to take the call this time. Every other time I had just told the nurse to ignore them. As far as I knew we only had a few more days left here before Ava went home. I already turned her room into a clean room, having it sterilized and putting up means outside the room to keep it sterile--hand sanitizer and booties to put on over shoes. I was taking no chances with her.

I strolled out to the nurse's station and the woman there handed me the phone. They'd become accustomed to this annoyance as much as me, and I provided them with coffee from Perk Up and a box of donuts every morning, as well as catered lunch and dinner at their request. They weren't my servants and they didn't have to take care of me like this. So I made it worth their while by treating them like humans. We got along...

"Yeah, it's Donovan," I growled into the phone receiver and instantly regretted taking this call.

"Maxwell, what in the actual holy hell are you doing? You're parked din a fucking hospital, nursing a sick waif while your company goes to shit. You know that the CEO you have is barely holding it together. He's a fucking waste of breath. You need to get your ass to--"

"Hello, Dad," I groaned and when Betty's eyes met my gaze I rolled my eyes and made a talking motion with my hand. She snickered and looked away, turning toward the box of donuts that still had two icing-covered confections in it.

"It's preposterous. Never in my life have I heard of someone throwing their entire life away over something like this." He hated that I'd even taken an interest in Ava. Of course he thought this was preposterous. He married for power; I--quite literally--married for love.

"Dad, you're freaking out over nothing. The company is fine. It's nothing I can't handle." I turned my back to the nurses, not wanting them to see the way my face contorted into an angry glare. I had been the calmest and put-together version of myself for weeks now. It wasn't anyone's business how upset my father made me at times. I kept my voice an even keel though, and tried to not let my temper get the best of me.

"You're throwing your life away, son. I'm concerned."

"Just because I'm living my life in a way that doesn't please you, does not mean I'm throwing my life away. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to Ava's side in case she wakes up." I hung up without saying goodbye and he was probably fuming even more. "Don't take any more calls for me. Just tell whoever calls that this isn't an answering service." The nurses all nodded at me and I winked at them. "Thanks."

Back in the room, Ava started to stir. She'd been on such heavy drugs for pain, she slept most of the time. So every time I got to see her eyes open, I was elated. She looked so sick and tired, but I poured on the compliments, making sure she knew how beautiful she was. She poured on the snark, reminding me I wasn't supposed to fall for her, to which I'd respond that this was how all nurses acted toward their patients.

This time, she smiled weakly and stretched her hand out for the water which I quickly brought to her lips. She wrapped them around the straw and sucked until she was satisfied.

"God, I need to get out of here. This place is driving me insane." She coughed a little, but I knew it wasn't the same cough as before. This guy had been tested not only for any current disease, but any hereditary disease markers, and any potential for future diseases that weren't hereditary. They were the best lungs she could get and strangely a perfect match--six out of six.

"Just a few more days," I told her, setting the water to the side. She frowned and lightly touched her chest. I'd seen the incision mark when they changed the bandages a few times. The nurses thought nothing of it, since I was her husband. It was a long gnarly scar right down her breastbone that took thirty staples to close up.

I'd also gotten a glimpse of her perfect breasts, though I looked away quickly to preserve her privacy. She blushed and held my gaze the entire time they worked on her and got her dressing changed. I got nothing out of it, except to feel the deepest sense of intimacy with her. All the people in her life who could've been here and she wanted me. Not Kelsey, not her mother, no other friend. Me--a total stranger.

"Well, I can't wait." Ava patted the mattress beside her and slowly blinked her eyes shut then open.

I sat down and rested my hand on her thigh. It was going to hurt like hell when all of this was over and we went back to the routine of me buying a sugary coffee drink, begging her to have dinner with me. I wondered if she would ever say yes in the future, or if she'd start resisting me again.

"Tell me about your family, Max." I had heard a lot about her family over the past two weeks. I brought up her mother, how I could pay for the woman to come stay with her and help her, but Ava was adamant that was a bad idea. I had to yield to her judgment, because based on what I knew about the woman, she struggled. It might be more of a burden than anything else.

I had, however, given very few details about my family. Ava had asked, but I managed to skirt the question a few times already. I didn't figure there was very much to tell. My parents weren't at all like me. They were the stereotypical rich snobs who looked down on people less fortunate than themselves. I just wanted to rise above that mentality. Which they hated.

"Well, they're about how you'd think. Their net worth is over three hundred million dollars, so not quite what mine is, and they act like it." It was the most polite way I could put it and Ava seemed to understand.

"I'd love to meet them someday," she said, and I got the feeling she meant it. Ava was a blessing in every sense of the word. I had no doubt in my mind that if anyone could help my parents see that "poor people"--how they described the middle class--were just as amazing and intelligent as anyone else, it was her.

"I'd like to avoid that," I chuckled and then patted her leg. "Are you hungry? Let me get you something to eat." I started to stand and she grabbed my hand and held it.

"Stay... Just talk to me softly while I close my eyes, please?"

I sank onto the mattress again and smiled at her as her eyelids fluttered shut. I told her stories about my childhood, how school friends would find injured or scared animals and pick on them. How I would set them free and try to nurse them back to health. I told her about that time I almost drowned, how I was saved by a local fisherman because my father didn't know what to do. Then I told her how I got into my philanthropic work.

In fifteen minutes she was dozing again, snoring lightly, and I was thankful to have the opportunity to share the parts of myself that mattered most--my growth into who I was as a man today. She had no idea the pull she had over my heart, but I'd have sat here for ten days longer, just telling her stories of how I found hurting people and wanted to help them.

That would have led to me confessing how I loved her too, which I had to avoid. But I knew it was inevitable, and I was going to regret letting my heart go so far. Because this woman was the world to me and she wasn't mine to have.

Chapter 16

Ava

Seventeen days in the fucking hospital and I hadn't been allowed to leave my bed until the last two. It felt so good to stand in a hot shower and let the water rinse over my body. I'd been reduced to sponge baths and dry shampoo and I felt disgusting.

"Need anything?" Max called, standing right outside the door. I had at least managed to convince him I was okay to shower alone, with the promise I'd leave the door unlocked and he could sit on the toilet if I was weak.

"I'm fine, Max," I called back, reaching for the shampoo bottle. I'd no more than gotten in and the glass steamed up when Max was there, checking on me. He hovered like a helicopter and I thought it was sweet.

Kelsey had come to visit every day at least once, I was told. Though, I only caught her four times, but that was thanks to the narcotics. They had weaned me back to just a few naproxen sodium a day now, and with the heaviest of drugs out of my system, I was able to think clearly.

I scrubbed my body, careful to wash the incision the way the nurses taught me, while Max looked on to be sure he understood and could help me too. Not that I would've let him, but it was sweet that he cared enough to pay attention. Plus, I noticed the curiosity in his eyes when they stripped me and I was exposed to him. He didn't shy away, and his eyes only briefly studied my naked form. Then he met my gaze and held it. I liked that part.

"I'm just right here, you know... In case..." He worried too much.

"Would it make you feel more comfortable to be in here?" I arched my neck back and closed my eyes as the door squeaked and I knew he was opening it.

"It would... I'm worried. They said you could faint..."

I had lost a lot of blood during surgery and they had to give me two units, but I was better now, and I was on iron tablets to help my body produce healthy red blood cells. Fainting wouldn't be a thing, but if it made him feel better to keep a closer eye on me I wasn't going to push him away. He had, after all, been the one to get me on that damn list. He really did save my life.

"See, I'm fine..." I wiped my hand across the steamed glass at eye level and looked through the beads of water that quickly formed. He closed the toilet lid and sat on it, watching me. It was a bit unnerving as I turned back to the water and finished cleaning myself. I hadn't shaved in weeks, so removing the hair from my body felt good. When I was done, I shut the water off and cracked the door, sticking my hand out. "Towel," I said, and he placed one in my hand.

"I'm sorry I'm a worrier. I just..."

He cared. I understood that. But how many times had I reminded him that my one condition was not falling in love? I didn't feel like I had to say it again, though. He was always very serious with his response to me, though I could see the affection in his eyes. Maybe he was this way with every person he helped, but I wasn't just any person. I was the woman he had asked to dinner every day multiple times a day for months. The woman he gently held in bed all night. And the woman he went out of his way to marry just to put on his insurance. This was very different.

"It's okay," I told him as I toweled off. I hadn't been hungry at dinner, and my body was still adjusting to the medications. I had nausea and belly aches pretty much round the clock and there was nothing anyone could do. It was late now too, past nine p.m., so eating was probably out of the question. Max's maid had already gone to bed for the night.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" he asked for the zillionth' time today and I sighed again. It was exhausting how much he cared for me. "Remember I can have your mother flown in tomorrow. She can be here while you recover."