Chapter Seventeen:
Nev
I smoothed my hands down the sides of the gown I wore, adoring my reflection in the mirror. The simple mermaid gown hugged my hips and flattered my curves like no other. I hadn't felt this beautiful in months and I didn't think even Jeremy's insistence that I lose weight could discourage me.
I was wrong.
Halfway through the shoot he started making comments about how we had to use a wide-angle lens or let the dress out a little. I knew my chest had gotten bigger, but I was actually down five pounds from the last time he asked me to lose weight. The problem was that weight had come off my hips and thighs but my tits were swelling on the daily now thanks to the hormone changes, which also made me moody and sensitive.
"God, he's harsh," Taylor said, leaning in to press her cheek to mine. The dual shoot with my work wife wasn't normal, but nothing around here had been normal since Jeremy decided to go on a warpath about my physique.
"He's just doing his job..." I pressed my palms to hers and smiled for the camera but when our tits touched Jeremy scowled.
"Get it together, Winters. We aren't shooting a porno. This is a fun ad for makeup." He tucked one hand under the opposite arm and lifted his other hand to his chin. I didn't even know how he got into this industry with that horrible attitude, but maybe that was really what all this was about. If so, I was glad I got pregnant. I didn't want to work for men who insisted that a size two was too large.
Taylor gripped my hand and leaned back, breaking into a fake laugh as instructed by the cameraman. The candid laughter shot couldn't have been more fake--like Beck's affection for me. I tried to play along with the scene just to get the shoot over with and get out of here, but every time I thought of Beck I got sad. That sadness wasn't something I could push away. And it wasn't something that I could hide forever--only until my stomach started to tell on me.
"Girl, he's gonna snap. What's wrong?" Taylor spoke through her gritted teeth, keeping her plastic smile in place, and I shrugged.
"I need to take five." I let go of her hand and sighed, walking off the set and she scurried after me.
"Need a snack break? Come on, Winters." Jeremy's nasty comment almost made me turn around to go off at him but I bit my lip and kept walking and Taylor trailed along after me. I could hear her heels clicking on the floor in her hasty stutter step gait.
"Nev, come on. Look he's an ass, but we have to finish this shoot together."
I was already peeling the fake jewelry off my neck and ears as I walked. After that insult I was done. I didn't just want a break. I wanted out. I didn't want to work for a man who was so rude and insulting, not even for another second. I had no clue where I'd go or what I'd do for money, and after a few months when the rest of the contracts were paid out, I'd be on my own, but I'd had it.
"I'm done, Tay. I can't work for him. It's not my fault I'm not the perfect body type. You know how many women would kill to have this figure? Yet he wants me to lose more weight to fit some image of beauty that's impossible. They can just airbrush it." I swung the door to my dressing room open and had my dress halfway off before I got to the clothing rack.
"Nev, you're not leaving me here. You can't. I can't put up with his attitude on my own." She hurried over to me and helped me out of the gown, hanging it up as I tugged a t-shirt on over my head and jammed my feet into the legs of my jeans. "Just calm down a bit and come back tomorrow. Maybe he'll pick on Vivian or something."
I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed my bag as I slid my feet into my ballet flats. I'd given this asshat one too many tries, but she was trying to speak wisdom to me. If I just quit without a backup job, I'd be screwed.
"Fine, but if he calls me fat one more time, in even a very indirect way, I'm done." I pressed my cheek to hers and kissed the air before slipping out the back exit.
The air was crisp and I wished I'd brought a jacket. I pulled my phone out of my bag to order an Uber, but saw I had a message from Beck which I'd missed while on the set. I flicked to my messaging app and read the message. He basically invited me to his new property to help with the painting. While I didn't mind a little hard work, my heart just wasn't feeling up to spending time with him today.
I got myself into this fake relationship thing and I was kicking myself in the ass for it. It was a bad idea from the beginning, thinking I could convince him to fall in love with me because of my personality and charm. Even worse, I slept with him when he was drunk, letting my own heart get into this tangled mess of emotion and connection, and there was no way out of this now without my heart breaking. Add to all of that a baby which would keep Beck and me connected for eternity, and I was fucked.
I shot a message back to him that I was feeling tired and not up for work and left it at that. I switched apps as I walked to my favorite café for a sandwich from where I'd catch my Uber, but my phone buzzed and I knew it was Beck protesting my rejection of his invitation. Why did I let that man get me wrapped around his pinky? I answered the call but hid my frustration.
"Hey, Beck."
"Nev, you have to come see this place. Please? I need some help and I can't exactly tell Drew yet. He'll just spill the beans and it won't be a surprise for Cici." He sounded so excited I didn't want to let him down, but I knew what would happen. We'd pal around a while and my heart would grow even more attached. And even if we didn't end up fucking again, I would feel worse. I needed space from him for a while because when this fake relationship thing was over, it was going to kill me.
"I'm really tired, bud. I just want to go home." I waited until the "walk" sign illuminated the crosswalk and then followed the flow of foot traffic across the street.
"Please? I need help. I don't have anyone else." I wanted to tell him that it was his fault he was an ass to everyone and hadn't made any friends who could tolerate his loud personality other than Drew. To explain that if we weren't actually going to have a real relationship that I needed out of this. But I loved him. And I had no words to explain any of that without breaking down and telling him about the baby right now. He deserved to know, but it had to be the right timing. And I had to adjust to the idea fully first.
"Fine," I grunted, letting my shoulders slump. "I'll be there soon. Send me the address again." He celebrated then hung up and moments later sent a text with the address. I got my sandwich, which I didn't end up eating a single bite of, and in under a half hour, I was standing on his stoop knocking.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, for coming." Beck swung the door open and I walked in. It appeared to me the place had been gutted. The drywall on every wall in every room looked brand new as he gave me the tour, and the floors were bare, down to the subflooring. "What do you think?"
"It's not much to look at right now," I told him, spotting the cans of paint in the corner of the room. The place was a shell of a home, but I could see its potential.
"Well we need to paint. Then they can lay flooring and then appliances, furniture... and hopefully by November I can be moved in." He stared up at the bare walls with a giddy grin on his face. I hadn't seen him so happy in weeks. It made me want to gravitate toward him, put an arm around his waist and lean into his side.
"Let's get this over with I guess..." I sighed and dropped my bag on the drop cloth spread out over the floor in this room. My guess was it was a dining room, but who knows what Beck had in mind. "You could have paid someone to do this, you know?"
He shrugged and walked over to the cans of paint, opening one. "I like doing this sort of thing. I just don't have time to do it all myself."
I kicked my shoes off and picked up a paint brush and tore the plastic packaging off of it as Beck filled a paint tray and got his roller ready. He was dressed for the work in scrubby jeans and a stained t-shirt I'd seen him wear all the time back in his college days. I couldn't believe he still had that thing. I, however, was wearing my nice jeans and a t-shirt I was fond of. I didn't think I'd be wearing it again after this. I wasn't the neatest person when it came to painting.
We worked in silence for a while, me doing the trim and corners of the room, Beck rolling wide swaths of the sage green color across the bare walls. The paint and primer combination covered well. By my guess, we'd be finished with this room in under an hour and ready to move on to another room. But when I felt paint splatter on my arm and turned to see Beck looking sheepish, I scowled.
"Really? You can't keep your paint to yourself?" I wiped at the blob of green on my arm and rolled my eyes and he shrugged and swung his roller at me on purpose. More paint splattered on me, this time getting my shirt. "Oh my god. I can't believe you did that," I hissed, surveying the damage.
"Oh come on. Lighten up a little." The first one had been an accident for sure, but the second bit was on purpose and I wasn't sure how to take it. I stood there dumbfounded as he walked toward me and smirked.
"Looks like you missed a spot," he said, nodding at the wall behind me. I was just gullible enough to turn and look and as I did I felt the roller slide across my arm where I'd just wiped the paint away.
"Oh god, you're gonna get it," I told him. I turned back around and touched his cheek with my wet hand, smearing the paint on his face and he gasped.
"What? Shit, Nev!" Beck backed away but I followed, placing my hand directly on his chest to wipe the rest of the paint off my palm onto his shirt.
"Can't handle the heat? Stay out of the kitchen..." I moved closer, now with my paint brush up and ready to destroy him, but he grabbed my wrist and used the roller along the entire front of my body from knees to tits and I squealed and tried to jerk away.
"You're gonna get it!" I swatted at him with the brush, wriggling and squirming and he continued his playful assault on me. We danced around the room in a half-jest, half-serious tango that had us both--and the drop cloth--covered in paint until he backed me against a wall and pinned me there. His hips pressed my pelvis to the wall and he heaved, trying to catch his breath.
