Chapter 1
I slapped my soggy bangs out of my face. Ringlets of damp hair stuck to the skin on my forehead, and I tried to shake them off. All around me, rain pattered in large drops that smacked the pavement; the tarmac road reflected the city lights like a mirror. It was patchy with puddles, and bits of trash floated on its surface. I'd not been prepared for such foul weather in June, but I knew that was Boston for you. It rained here at least once a week.
I was nervous and excited about continuing my education and putting to practice everything I'd learned in school. It'd taken every bit of money I had to get myself to Boston for this internship, which was why it was more important than ever that I do well.
I worked hard even while in college and never attended one party--so what if my friends teased her about being a stick-in-the-mud? Now I'd be able to show them what I was worth, finally make some progress toward living the life I wanted. I'd let life situations delay me for far too long.
The cars whizzed past too fast for me to flag down help. I wiped water off my lips and tasted salt; I hadn't eaten anything substantial since lunchtime yesterday and had finished off a whole package of Fig Newtons between then and now. If this rain kept up, I might get hypothermia or something equally as bad, walking around like this in nothing but a T-shirt and skirt and sandals.
A trash can swayed back and forth across the street under the weight of the wind blowing against it; light posts wobbled like they were nearing their final moments on Earth. I pulled an umbrella out of my backpack--it didn't look like much protection compared to the black sky, but beggars couldn't be choosers--and trudged toward the hospital. I walked by darkened storefronts, abandoned buildings covered in graffiti, bums carrying bags of cans that clanked together with every step they took.
Things looked better as soon as I reached a sidewalk lined with trees. Soon enough, bulky rocks poked up through cracks in the broken pavement. The trees lining the streets did nothing to obstruct the biting wind sweeping across the hospital campus, which looked like an ink spill spreading over glass from this far away.
A few times now, passersby had stopped their cars and offered me a ride when they saw how bedraggled I looked, dripping wet with a pathetic little umbrella flapping next to her head. Once again I reminded myself why men scared me so much: they always assumed women needed rescuing when all they really wanted was someone capable of figuring out basic directions without leading them astray. Plus there existed some innate tendency among men everywhere to think women need them for some reason or another.
The rain refused to let up, and so did I, pushing myself farther away from my broken-down car toward the hospital. It wasn't an ideal situation to show up for my first day of internship soaking wet and late, but I had no choice. At least I had the ability to change out of my soggy clothes into clean dry scrubs. My hair, however, was a different story.
The hospital staff greeted me, though a few of them looked at me like I was a drown rat. One of the nurses led me to the staff breakroom which adjoined the locker rooms and found me a pair of scrubs. I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw I as already five minutes late, so after changing the only thing I could do with my hair was take paper towels from the bathroom and squeeze the water out of it.
I rushed into the conference room now eleven minutes late with a dripping backpack and my hair tied in a knot on top of my head. Tiny rivulets still drained off my scalp down the back of my neck but I was there.
"Ms. Richards, I assume?" Dr. Mathers's scowl was enough rebuke for me and he seemed to know me well. He didn't lecture me. "We're just getting started. Have a seat at the table."
I glanced at the other five other people seated around the oblong table. There were a few chairs empty but no matter where I sat, I'd be sitting directly next to someone. My cheeks burned. I chose a chair to the right of a younger woman, probably only twenty-three or twenty-four years old. Her dark hair and copper eyes made her seem approachable. She smiled as I sat down.
"Now, we were about to introduce ourselves. Dr. Brown, you may begin."
Dr. Mathers stepped back and the woman seated across from me stood. She was petite. Her white lab coat looked like it belonged in the children's department, but she had a loud voice. "My name is Mackenzie Brown. Like you all I'm a first-year intern here in my medical residency. I got into oncology after my son was born with mixed gliomas. I'm getting a late start but I am excited for the adventure." Mackenzie tucked her short dark hair behind her ear and I couldn't help but remember a time I felt exactly the same as I did right now.
Curt and Spencer locked me out of the house we rented freshman year and I got soaked in the rain waiting for them. When they came back, I was furious to find out they had waited around for Spencer's then-fling, Raven. Mackenzie's short dark hair resembled Raven's, triggering the memory, and my mind lingered there for a second. Freshman year seemed ages ago, before life derailed my plans for more than three years, but I was back and I was determined not to let anything get in my way this time.
"I'm Emma," said the younger woman now standing next to me. Her curly, shoulder-length hair was drawn back in a tight braid, but stray strands framed her face. "I'm a first-year intern like you all. Graduated UC Berkeley and decided to come to Boston because this internship is the one everyone aims for. Uh, nothing special about me. I like dogs and I love coffee."
Emma seemed nice, but she, too, was very put-together. I felt completely gross sitting next to these two beautiful women, with my hair soggy and my mascara smeared. The guys didn't bother me much. It wasn't like I was in the market for a boyfriend. Doing a residency would take all my time; I wouldn't have a spare second for dating. Besides the fact that my heart just hadn't been right in years. Not since I left freshman year to go home and take care of Mom.
I stood to introduce myself next. "I'm Kate. I grew up in Upstate New York, went to Columbia in the city, and got a late start on my residency after a break to care for my mother who passed away from breast cancer. I actually got into oncology because my brother developed bone cancer in high school, and I just really wanted to make a difference." The dark-haired guy two chairs over from me looked at me like a piece of meat. The others smiled warmly, and I sat down, ready to disappear. I should have told them why my hair was wet. I felt embarrassed.
One by one the others introduced themselves. Ima from Israel, moved here for the advantages of first-world science and technology. Gorgeous, but too smart for her own good. Caleb from South Dakota. He seemed like a great guy, sort of laid back and fun loving.
But when Jeff introduced himself and ran his hand through his hair like Rico Suave, I knew he was trouble. He made eyes at me and Emma and rambled on about his sports car and how his father paid for his med school, which is why he was there. Daddy got him into the internship, not his skill. As Dr. Mathers welcome everyone, Emma leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear.
"Geesh, that guy thinks he's god's gift to women."
I had to hide a snicker, because I totally agreed. The guy reminded me of someone I knew, a person for whom my heart had only bitterness. "You watch," I whispered back, "he'll hit on us before this day is out."
Emma snorted when she laughed and Dr. Mathers eyed us. "Something funny ladies?"
"No, nothing," Emma sang out.
We straightened up. I didn't want to leave a worse impression than I already had. I relaxed a little knowing I had already made a connection in this group. Part of me feared feeling ostracized for being older, but if Mackenzie could come back clearly well into her thirties and do well, then at twenty-nine I wasn't doing as bad as I thought. It reinvigorated my hopes, and I focused as Dr. Mathers laid out the entire syllabus for this year--six, two-month rotations to learn the basics of every aspect of this job.
