Emma

XXIX

Life was certainly changing at Emma and Charlotte’s flat. Emma and Maisie had at last found a house in a quite well-to-do part of the city, and had moved out to live together there. Emma seemed quite reluctant to move to somewhere so expensive, saying that it tied her more than she wanted to the kind of income she was now bringing in; but Maisie was insistent, and as always Emma was unable to resist any of Maisie’s requests. Their move was not a sudden affair. The two of them had been away rather more often than not for several months now, mostly connected with their television work, staying at distant hotels. Often when they were there, it was only one or the other of them as Maisie would visit her mother or Emma would be away on business which Maisie did not need to attend. When Emma was there, Charlotte would make a determined effort to spend the night with her; but in truth, (as Josephine knew quite well) the urgency and significance that Charlotte had once associated with her lovemaking with Emma were much less now. She had come to accept that Emma’s real love was Maisie, and had moreover come to feel her love for Josephine much more strongly.

Susan still stayed in the flat. She had lost her previous home, as her boyfriend had started a relationship with another man and Susan no longer felt able to come and go as freely as she’d once done. She quite naturally moved into the bedroom vacated by Emma and Maisie, and although she still professed to a great unrequited passion for Charlotte, she no longer felt the need to spend too much time looking after her. She had even had a brief affair with a Pakistani girl, Aisha, but this relationship didn’t last too long. Josephine understood that Aisha had begun to express rather more desire for commitment in their relationship than Susan was prepared to offer. As Susan explained to Josephine, she was a professional fuck actress and any lover she had would just have to accept this fact. In any case, Susan expressed more passion in her occasional lovemaking with Maisie, herself and, less often, Charlotte, than in any of her nights together with Aisha. Josephine felt rather sad that their love affair hadn’t lasted very long, as she’d quite enjoyed the taste of Aisha’s cunt and she adored the way her tongue managed to insinuate itself into her anus.

Josephine was finding that Charlotte was expressing a desire for a seriousness in their own relationship that went far beyond anything that she’d ever experienced before, even in her boyfriends. She had in fact gone as far as proposing marriage.

“Marriage!” exclaimed Josephine. “Do you understand what you’re saying?”

“It’s perfectly legal now. Didn’t you read about it in the papers recently? Marriage is now no longer to be defined on rigid gender grounds. Men can marry men. And women can marry women.”

“Well, maybe so. But what’s the point of getting married anyway? What can’t we do now that we can do if we’re married?”

“It’s not a question of what we can or cannot do. It’s symbolic. I just want to say to you that you are special in my life. Unique. That I love you. That I want to live with you. That I want to stay with you for the rest of my life.”

Josephine was rather overwhelmed by the intensity of Charlotte’s declaration of undying love, and tightly cuddled her lover. They were very soon making very passionate love on the strength of Charlotte’s declaration, but what Josephine found particularly striking and somehow most appealing of all was Charlotte’s claim that she wanted the two of them to have a baby. Josephine didn’t want to confess to Charlotte that as a result of some unpleasant operations she’d had when she was less than thirteen years old it was extremely unlikely that she could ever be the mother of a child. She always hid from her lover the darker side of her past and the abuse she’d received in her family from her parents and other relatives. This meant that the only one of the two of them capable of child-bearing was Charlotte, and she was remarkably enthusiastic about the idea.

“Whether it’s you or me, it doesn’t matter!” Charlotte claimed. “I’d be proud to carry a child knowing it to be ours.”

“Isn’t there a bit of a problem in either of us fathering a child?” Josephine wondered.

“The father doesn’t matter! What matters is that it belongs to both of us: even if only one of us is the biological mother. I would so like it if we could have a child. We could call her Emma or, if it’s a boy, Robert or Charles or something.”

“Yes, we could. But we need to find a biological father.”

This was not of course a particularly difficult task for Josephine who in her years in sex theatre had met rather a lot of men who were more than willing to make love to both Charlotte and her. It was necessary that in the lovemaking that both Josephine and Charlotte should be there together; otherwise it wouldn’t be ‘their’ child, as Charlotte insisted on calling it. Her view was that if the father-to-be conceived the child while making love to both of them at the same time, then in a real sense it could be said to have an equal chance of motherhood by either of the two lovers. Again, Josephine had no wish to disillusion Charlotte as to the relative probabilities.

This became a regular occurrence. Josephine would bring home with her one, two or even three male acquaintances or colleagues of different colours or ethnic backgrounds (this was not thought at all important) and before long the two lovers would immerse their bodies in each other with the additional presence of penises thrusting into their vaginas. Charlotte insisted that the men should release their sperm inside both of them, and not over their face and breasts, as some professional actors had a tendency to do. This required Charlotte or Josephine spotting the moment of seminal release and taking the black, pink or brown penis out of its current orifice as it seeped out its oozing yellowish liquid and insert it immediately in both of the girls’ vaginas in the hope of insemination. Once this was done then the intention was that the man, or any other man who was servicing them at the time, should do his best to produce more of the precious liquid for further insemination.

Some of the men whom Josephine brought home very much enjoyed their rôles as sperm-providers. It didn’t bother them at all that Josephine and Charlotte showed no interest at all in their bodies beyond their sexual equipment and its productive capabilities. Often they actually enjoyed being so closely involved in lesbian lovemaking and participating in a rôle of nearly minimum emotional involvement with maximum release of semen. Some men however felt somehow cheated by it all. They felt rather marginalised by the way the only tenderness and passion the two girls showed were to each other, however much their vaginas or anuses where being penetrated or stimulated by the men’s penises. Josephine could see that Charlotte, despite her avowed lesbianism, actually rather enjoyed having sex with men, as Josephine did herself, but the focus of their affection was very definitely each other. It might be pleasant to taste again a nice firm erect penis in between the teeth or jostling with the larynx. It might add to the ecstasy of orgasm to have a real live penis (rather than a dildo) thrusting in and out of the nether orifices. But the subject of their passion remained each other. Neither Josephine nor Charlotte felt any great feelings of affection nor emotion for the men, although they soon came to have favourites who they were happier to have back again, perhaps the following night, for another chance of impregnating one or other of them.

To each other the men were identified better by their penises than by their names, faces or personalities. Charlotte might reminisce about the particular productivity of an originally unpromising rather squat penis. Josephine might recall the length and duration of effort of another penis that might have given both of them rather more pleasure than normally but was actually rather less productive. Some men were recalled for the short time in which it took them to produce semen and how so much of it was wasted on the sheets rather than in their cunts. But the two girls’ new hobby (of which Emma, whenever she visited, disapproved totally) was one that occupied them more nights than not, filled their bodies with viscous pale fluid and required rather more changes to the sheets than had hitherto ever been required.

Somehow, Susan no longer felt as content in her life as before. The reorganisation of the flat left her feeling somewhat sidelined. Emma and Maisie were so rarely at the flat, and whenever they were it always seemed that it was Charlotte who got the most attention. Even Maisie these days seemed somehow more distant; even if she would insist on fucking Susan with whatever flavour of dildo had taken her fancy at the moment. She felt rather banished, staying in the bed with Josephine and Charlotte where she had spent so many happy months at the peak of her passion and obsession for Charlotte. Now, however, she felt obliged to admit that Josephine was to be the centre of Charlotte’s life and accept that it was indeed not a bad choice for her. The presence of men in their bedroom had made the room seem somehow less inviting. It reminded her too much of work to watch two men humping away at Charlotte, a penis in the arse while underneath another was deep inside her cunt. She had somehow lost her taste for male sex. It was good at work. It provided her with a living, and while she was being filmed she genuinely enjoyed having her orifices filled with rubbery but stiff organs of pleasure. However, she no longer felt that a man could provide her with quite the emotional satisfaction she craved. And as she found in her brief but passionate relationship with Aisha, not all women were necessarily going to provide it for her either.

She concentrated more effort in her work, and had taken the advice of her agent in promoting herself more actively in androgynous rôles. She cut her hair short and boyish, and took to wearing shorts, shirt and tie which made her look like a curious kind of oriental school boy. She also took up the fashion of shaving her vagina every morning aware that this increased her marketability to the makers of films about androgynous sex. The actual sex didn’t change much (although there was undoubtedly a greater demand for anal penetration and even back entrance finger-fucking) but the films had a tendency to be set in schools, gymnasia and holiday camps, and there was more male homosexuality and transexualism practised than in most films she’d been in before.

It was on the set of

Teeny Fuck Vacation

that Susan met Salim. She had no idea who she was of course, but had been fascinated by the sight of her during the fuck shoot when she was being penetrated anally by a man in his fifties with a

Kiss Me Quick

hat and very knobbly knees. She stood to one side of the set looking very mysterious in her long dark dress that came down to her ankles and the head-scarf that covered all her hair. Most women watching sets were either participants in the filming process or anxious porn starlets hoping to learn by watching the professionals at work. Salim obviously didn’t fit into either category. Susan was quite surprised to be approached by the woman afterwards who introduced herself rather shyly and asked even more timidly if they could talk somewhere after the film. Salim was somewhat older than most of the women of her acquaintance, certainly more so than anyone who’d shared her flat, but Susan could tell that her face at least was very attractive and curiously not markedly Asian at all. Susan agreed to meet, more out of fascination than anything else.

They met again at an ice cream parlour nearby where over pistachio and almond ice creams, Salim told Susan about Amna and her obsession for Susan and how much it troubled her aunt. “She’s totally obsessed by you! It’s the only thing that seems to give her any pleasure in life. Otherwise she’s so listless and apathetic. It’s as if she doesn’t care about anything else at all.”

Susan could see the genuineness of Salim’s plea and was astute enough to guess that there was a sexual element to Salim’s concern, although she was not sure that it was likely to have been satisfied. She remembered Amna quite well as the funny little shop-girl who had taken an interest in fuck films and whom she’d helped out. She was a little surprised to learn that Amna had continued to work in the profession. Her feeling, and one shared by Aisha, was that the girl hadn’t really enjoyed her time in

Hot Asian Lovers,

and would probably not wish to get involved in any more films. She remembered her tearfulness after one day’s shoot in which Aisha and she had to help her to a taxi. Susan found, though, that she’d been in another fuck film,

Corner Shop Cunts,

and had been accepted for a rôle in

Eastern Ecstasy.

It actually upset her to discover that Amna had actually lost her virginity in the audition for

Hot Asian Lovers.

However, Susan couldn’t see that there was actually anything that she could do and accepted that Salim had come to see her pretty much out of desperation. Amna was currently spending a few days with her family where she continued the pretence that she worked in a clerical capacity, despite the evidence of a somewhat better salary than most semi-skilled clerks would normally earn.

Salim took Susan back to her flat and showed her Amna’s bedroom with the posters and memorabilia all around the room. Susan felt both flattered and upset. It was undoubtedly a compliment that someone should find her so attractive that they would collect videos of her non-starring films, find posters of her in the fuck posture clichés so preferred by cameramen and search out magazines which had pictures of her in them. It was also quite frightening to see herself idolised in this way. She knew from her obsession with Charlotte, that it didn’t mean that she was actually deified, but it did mean that Amna was expressing rather more interest in her than could possibly be justified. She was after all not a very unusual person and not really one of the world’s most attractive either. Her assets in the fuck film industry had been more her lack of breasts, the slimness of her body and the enthusiasm of her lovemaking. Her one-time sexual problem where she could only make love to someone while being watched had been gradually overcome as a result of her lovemaking in the flat she now shared with Josephine and Charlotte. She certainly didn’t deserve this kind of attention.

Susan felt slightly faint, so Salim thoughtfully took her downstairs to the living room. She had taken off her head-scarf, but still kept on her thick dress. She spoke sadly of how much Amna’s obsession with Susan had troubled her. How much she’d wanted to meet Susan herself to find out what she was like. And how pleased she was that Susan wasn’t anything like as bad a person as she thought a porn actress should be despite the disgusting and unmentionably vulgar nature of her work. It was at this stage that Susan became quite clear in her mind just how far Salim’s relationship with Amna had progressed. She took Salim’s hands in her own, squeezed them gently and muttered kind words of comfort.

At first Salim struggled ineffectually to release her hands, but she relented and let Susan’s caresses become more intimate. She was evidently quite upset and Susan was quite a mistress of such situations. Indeed she found Salim’s freckled face rather attractive and she enjoyed the fullness of the older woman’s smile. She soon released Salim of her thick confining dress and was surprised to see just how very sexy her choice of lingerie was. This was a world of dress habits Susan had never known about before. Most women she knew of who owned such clothes wore them only in a professional context and would never wear such clothes otherwise. Here was someone who wore silk and satin, garters and stockings, for herself rather than for the stimulation of male libidos.

Susan released herself of her shirt and trousers in a few very brief gestures and stood naked in Salim’s clasp smiling lasciviously at Amna’s aunt, aware of the flash of alarm burning across her face. Salim stood up, belatedly bringing her hands up to cover the breasts that Susan had uncovered earlier.

“We can’t! You can’t! I shouldn’t! What if Amna...?”

“Do you know what Amna does every day at work?” Smiled a nonplussed Susan, striding across to Salim and delicately pushing down her arms and removing the bra. “Don’t you think she already knows only too well what I do every day at work?”

“Yes, but...” Began Salim, but her protests were plugged by Susan’s tongue which plunged into the woman’s welcoming mouth and was pleased by the readiness and passion of Salim’s response.

Susan spent the night in Salim’s bed, enjoying a night of passion that lacked in technique but was compensated partly by the extent of Salim’s curiosity. She could see that the relationship between Salim and Amna had not really progressed as far sexually as Susan was accustomed to in her relationships. Salim showed some reluctance and ineptitude in many of the activities Susan encouraged her to participate in. She had hardly considered the anus as an object of sensuality, for instance. Penetration even in the vagina had been limited to fingers and tongues, it seemed. There hadn’t been anything like the passion and ecstasy which Susan was able to orchestrate and which after several orgasms left Salim drained and helpless. She lay collapsed on her bed linen, her face burrowed into the pillow and her bottom in the air with a smile of contentment on her face that even Susan had rarely seen before.