I pulled away from the Gentry farm headed back to my house. Mom and I were going to spend the day together after we finished with the livestock. I pulled into the drive and Mom bolted from the house and jumped into the truck.
"Jack, you need to take me to Johnson County Hospital, Nick is in bad shape, there was an accident. I swung the truck around and sped off.
"Mom, what happened? Is Dad with him? Is Dad alright?" I panicked.
"I'm not sure how your Dad is, baby. All we know is that Nick and one other was hurt in some type of accident, I don't know if the other is your Dad, or if it is Mike, so just hurry." She worried.
"Mom, what about Maddie and the girls?" I asked.
"They are already on the road, Maddie is the one that called me." She sniffed.
"It's going to be alright Mom, they will be fine, you'll see." I reassured. "Just drive Jack, go!" she huffed.
Johnson county was in the next county over, it was about a 30-minute drive. I made the drive in 20. Mom was clinging to my arm as we found Maddie and the girls in the E.R. They were all distraught and crying.
Maddie spoke first, "He is in surgery and he's in bad shape ... they were crushed Lucy, they were crushed in an accident!", she sobbed uncontrollably.
As Mom started wailing, I asked, "Who Maddie? Who was crushed?"
Maddie started babbling about a tractor trailer swerving and hitting them. I let go of Mom and grabbed Maddie by the shoulders and spun her to face me. "Maddie, Maddie, calm down and take a breath. Tell me who was crushed." I said intently.
"Nick, My Nick, and your Daddy, Jack!" she whined through her sobs. Mom suddenly collapsed, Ellie and Addie helped her to a chair and held her. I looked back to Maddie and drug her into my grasp. I moved her to sit by Mom before she went down also.
That's when a doctor appeared. She approached and paused a second and said, "I'm looking for the Gentry family." Maddie immediately stood looking intently into the Doctor's eyes. "Mrs. Gentry, lets go to my office so I can give you an update, please follow me." Maddie quickly said, "We are all going, we are all coming, the Gentrys and the Jansens are family."
We all followed her around the corner, the doctor took us to a conference room instead of her office, so we all would fit. I sat with Mom on one side of me and Ellie on the other side. Maddie and Addie were next to her.
The doctor introduced herself and then said turning to Maddie," Mrs. Gentry, your husband has life threatening injuries to his head and chest. We are trying to stabilize his head trauma at the moment. He is bleeding inside his head, and we operated to stop the bleeding. Another bleed has appeared since he left surgery, if we can't get the bleeding to stop, survival is not likely.
Maddie fired off a string of questions and the answer to every one of them was bleak. Maddie and the girls were hysterical at that point. I was trying to hold them and keep an eye on my Mom at the same time. I had no time to worry about my Dad, I focused on all my girls. I say that because looking back, this is when they became, my girls.
The Doctor turned back to Mom and I and said, "Mrs. Jansen, your husband was also rushed into surgery, he had a spinal injury in his neck, and severe head trauma."
I immediately took notice that she was speaking in the past tense, and knew before she said it, that my father was dead.
I looked to the doctors face with utter shock, I remember seeing a single tear form in her eye as she said to me and my mother, "Mrs. Jansen, Mr. Jansen, we worked on him tirelessly for 45 minutes, but I am so sorry to inform you that he has succumbed to his injuries and passed away about 20 minutes ago."
Mom went berserk, she yelled no over and over again, and collapsed in my arms. I was in shock, tears streaming down my face. I felt the arms of the other girls surround us. We all cried and held each other, I was trying to get control of myself. I knew from that point on I had to be strong for Mom.
I stood and straightened myself and turned to the doctor as she started to leave the room. I slipped up behind her and touched her shoulder. "Doc, can I speak to you for a moment?" I whispered. She nodded and motioned for me to follow.
We entered her office and she closed the door behind me. "Doc, tell me how Nick is really doing." I pleaded.
She sighed and looked away and back to me, "Mr. Jansen, as I said earlier, his injuries are severe."
I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I know he's bad, but you're the Doctor, you must have some idea of his chances." I questioned. She started giving me the run around about how each case is different, but I cut her off and said," Listen to me, there are four women out there that mean the world to me. I need to know how to prepare them if he isn't going to make it. So, I need you to cut the shit and help me out here. Tell me yes or no, have you ever seen anyone survive the type of injuries that Nick has?" I demanded.
She just stared at me for a moment, and then looked away. When she looked back, another tear was running down her cheek. I had my answer. I hung my head and tried to regain my composure. I jumped as I felt her hand on my shoulder.
She looked up at me, leaned into me and hugged me. I broke down and sobbed like a little baby, shaking uncontrollably. She just held me tight until I calmed. I stepped back and apologized, she shook her head and whispered in my ear, "Mr. Jansen, you needed to do that, and I was happy to help. I can tell you are a strong young man, those women out there are lost, and they will need someone to guide them through the loss, I think you will be that man. Just make sure you get to grieve too."
A nurse burst into her office and startled us both, she stopped and just stared. The doctor went to her and the nurse whispered into her ear. She turned to me with a sullen look on her face and just shook her head.
I numbly walked past them and went to my girls. They were sitting close in the conference room, holding each other and sobbing. The doctor followed and started to speak. I placed my hand on her tummy and she paused to look at me.
I turned to her and whispered," I'll do it."
I walked slowly to Maddie and her girls. I knelt at their feet and pulled them closer to me, moms arms wrapped around me from the back. A tear formed in my eye as I said, "Maddie, girls, I love you guys so much... It breaks my heart to tell you that Nick didn't make it, he just passed." I sniffed.
They latched on to me and knocked me to the floor. We all hugged and cried for awhile until we had no more tears. We finally gathered ourselves and moved to the parking lot.
"Maddie, give me the keys to your suburban, I'll drive all of us home. I don't want any of you driving right now, I can get my truck later." I said.
"Thanks, Jack" she sniffed, tossing her keys.
The drive back was riddled with sniffles and out right whaling at times. My mind was in hyper-drive, I was mentally making a list of things I had to take care of or figure out. I was supposed to be off to college in the fall, but that didn't seem plausible moving away to leave mom and the girls to fend for themselves. I was going to have to step up and help run the farm if mom kept it. I was getting overwhelmed when my thoughts were interrupted by Maddie.
"Lucy, Jack, I don't think I can go home yet, could the girls and I stay at your house for tonight?" she worried.
"Sure sweetie, I think we will need each other to somehow get through this, you can stay as long as you need. I'm not sure how well I will handle being at home myself, but if we all stick together, we will be okay." Mom whispered.
I pulled into our drive and parked at the garage. I got out and opened the door behind me to help Addie out of the truck. I took her into my arms as she stepped out of the truck and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. "I love you Addison." I whispered. She cupped my cheek a said, "I love you, Jackson." I gave her a sad smile and nudged her toward the house. I moved to the other side and opened the door for mom and Maddie. I took Maddie's hand and pulled her from her seat and eased her into my arms. "Maddie, I love you." I said with a sad face. She got on her tip toes and gave me a lingering kiss on the lips and whispered in my ear.
"I love you too, handsome." And she softly kissed my ear and turned toward the house.
Mom stepped out and into my arms, I bent at the knees and wrapped her tight in my arms. She nestled her face in my neck. "Mom, I love you with all my heart." I said softly. She kissed my neck gently a couple of times and pulled back to look at me.
She tenderly kissed my lips and said, "I love you baby, don't worry too much, in time we will be okay." I released her so she could go to Maddie. I then moved to the door and helped Ellie out of the truck.
Ellie lept from the truck and crashed into me. She was crushing herself to me crying uncontrollably. I wrapped her in my arms and held her tight. "Jack, what are we going to do. How can we go on, I don't know how I can go on." She cried into my chest.
I tried to calm her, I was calling her name over and over trying to get her to calm down and listen to me. I finally pushed her arm's length from me and said, "Elouise." She looked me in the eye instantly. "I'm right here Ellie, I'm not going anywhere. I got you and you are going to be ok. It's going to take time, but I will be by your side all the way through this." I reassured.
"I don't know where to start or what to do, Jack, I'm so lost and hollow." She cried.
"Okay Ell, I know. We will get through this together, and we are starting simple, okay? One breath at a time and one step at a time. I love you Ell, I will take care of you, I promise." I soothed.
Ellie jumped back in my arms and began a silent cry, I just held her tight telling her over and over that I loved her. I looked up through my tears and seen that mom hadn't went to the house yet. She was standing nearby with tears running down her face, listening to what I was telling Ellie. I motioned for her to come to me.
