Denial and Acceptance

This is the third chapter and it really needs the first two to set up. Still no sex, but we're getting there!

Ake -

Surely I didn't hear what I thought I just heard.

"Your place?"

"Sure, unless you'd rather go hit a diner or something?"

He said it so nonchalantly and I was sure he couldn't hear my heart hammering away in my chest.

"No, no of course not. Your place would be great."

What the hell was I doing?! His place would certainly not be ok!

Calm down, he's just being friendly. It doesn't mean anything!

"Excellent. I'm not the greatest cook, but I've mostly stopped burning things, so it should be alright." he said with a smirk.

"Well you're in luck because I am a great cook. Do you have everything you need for a good breakfast, or do we need to stop somewhere?"

Dan -

"Depends what you're thinking, I guess. I've got most of the normal breakfast stuff. We'll make do, c'mon."

Without waiting for a response, I put my helmet and gloves on and started my bike. I waited for Ake to nod before pulling out and driving the rest of the way to my house. Once again I stopped on the driveway to fish out my garage door opener before pulling in and parking.

"You can park it in the driveway or in the shop, either one. I'm pretty isolated here, so your stuff won't get molested."

Ake nodded and opted to just leave his things on his bike. I shed my riding gear and, wearing just a set of long underwear of clinging wool and my wool socks, I walked into the house. Ake pulled off his riding gear as well. He was wearing a pair of tights and a tight athletic long sleeve shirt. Both showed off his fit, if petite, figure quite well.

"Bathroom's here." I said, pointing to the closed door, "There are towels if you want to grab a quick shower."

Without waiting for a response, I strode into the kitchen.

"Breads are there, next to the vegetables and such. Spices are in that cabinet, eggs over in that container since I'm fortunate enough to get them fresh from down the road, and meat proteins in the fridge. I think I have both bacon and sausage."

"This is a lovely home, Dan. And such an incredible location. If you don't mind my asking, where does your property end?"

Ake was looking out the patio door. I walked over behind him and reached over his shoulder to gesture while I spoke.

"Just along that tree line in the back and it butts up to a stream on the right. That's all state land, so I won't have neighbors there. And my other neighbors are about five or six acres that way."

Ake -

I could feel Dan's presence behind and over me, especially when he reached from behind to point out his property line. I could smell him, too. Wood smoke from the campfire, sure, but underneath a strong essence of what could only be described as 'him'. I almost felt like I was going to swoon, though he stepped away as quickly as he moved behind me.

He's just being friendly!

"Coffee? Beer? Bloody Mary?" Dan asked.

"Oh, umm, I think just water for now, thank you. Where are your pans, cutting boards and utensils?"

Dan showed me where things were, helping me get the specific items I asked for, while I considered the ingredients available, Dan grabbed a glass and filled it with ice and water before setting it on the counter in front of me. He then filled and started the coffee pot before pulling out the ingredients and whipping up the mix for what I assumed was his bloody Mary.

I pulled together some vegetables, eggs and sausage. I figured a simple scramble with toast would suit. This was, after all, just a casual breakfast and didn't mean anything, right? Simple was best.

Dan was busy with a cocktail shaker in one hand while he reached into a cupboard for a pint glass. He filled it up, put in a dash of something else before checking the shaker in his hand. He shrugged, grabbed down a smaller glass and filled it with the remaining liquid from the shaker.

After another dash of whatever it was, he set the glass down and slid it next to me. "Here you go, I made too much so you get to finish it."

"I

get

to?"

"Oh yeah. Bloody Mary's are one of the incredibly few drinks I think I've mastered. I hope you like them a bit spicy, though."

They weren't my favorite drink, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.

It's tomato juice with alcohol. How is that a "go to" drink in any society?

I sipped at the glass and found it much better than I'd anticipated.

"Good, right?" he said with a smile.

I coughed as the spice he mentioned found its way into the back of my throat. "Yes." I croaked. "Yes, it is, though you're right about the spice!" I said.

He winked at me and walked into another part of his house.

I know I must have blushed slightly, and was glad he'd walked away. I started cutting the vegetables and sausage in separate pans before slicing some fresh bread and dropping it in the toaster. I continued to work, sipping at the drink he'd provided while I worked.

By the time breakfast was almost done cooking, I'd finished the bloody Mary. I turned to get the bread out of the toaster and felt the room wobble. That moment told me two things. One, my low alcohol tolerance managed to get me a buzz off of one small drink, and two, Dan makes his drinks strong!

I put the glass down and focused on finishing cooking our breakfast. Everything was done soon enough, so I opened cupboards until I found the plates. I plated the food and opened drawers until I found the flatware. And then I waited for him to return.

Just a moment later, Dan walked the corner, still pulling on what must have been a clean t-shirt. He was wearing a pair of soccer shorts and that was about it.

"Smells incredible."

I just shrugged. "Pretty simple, but it'll do for breakfast."

We sat at the counter and ate, and talked. When we were done, I started gathering dishes and placing them in the sink.

"Just leave those, I'll get to them later. You cooked, I clean."

"Seems fair."

"You want anything else? Another Bloody Mary? Coffee?"

"I'm good with my water, thanks."

"Excellent. How about a tour then?"

I nodded, smiling. He led me onto the deck and gestured as he pointed out features of the rather large plot of land he was on. From there he led me through the house. I felt a tightening in my stomach as we walked into his bedroom, visions of him taking me in his bed danced through my head. Soon enough, we were back out in the shop, talking about bikes, accessories, modifications, rides we'd been on, and crashes we'd been through.

"Wait, wait...you lost your sense of smell!?" I asked, laughing.

Dan just laughed at himself as he explained, "Yeah. Apparently it's something that can happen with a concussion. All I know is, I was out cold for three days and when I woke up, everything tasted like shit. I mean, we all know hospital food is bad, but I thought it was especially terrible. It wasn't until I got home and made a fresh cup of coffee that I thought tasted pretty bland. I finally realized it was because I couldn't smell it."

"How long did it last?"

"I think...four months? I was glad, if I'm honest. I spent the early period experimenting with stronger smelling foods. You know, lots of garlic or onions. Then it was hot sauces. By the end of it, though, I found I was barely eating because it just wasn't enjoyable. I was just doing it to survive. It was weird."

"I can't even imagine!"

"Yeah well, a sense of smell is one thing, I can't believe you actually broke both your wrists at once!"

"Well, a wrist and a forearm, but yeah. Thankfully I was still young so I healed well. But baths and the bathroom were pretty awkward for me and my parents for awhile."

"I bet!" Dan laughed.

"It's also when I learned to write with my left hand because my left forearm was just fractured, but my right wrist was broken in three places and took months longer to heal."

Dan -

As we talked, Ake walked around to look at the bikes I had parked in the shop. I'd opened one of the garage doors to let in natural light. He leaned over to look at something on the bike and I found myself staring at his ass in those dark blue leggings. It was perfect.

I shook my head and walked to the work bench before he could catch me, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was going commando since I couldn't see a tell tale line of any boxers or underwear.

What the hell?

I glanced at Ake again and tried to think about things objectively. From where I stood, I couldn't see his face. From the back he could have been mistaken for a woman.

That's why you keep looking!

Ake's voice brought be back to the shop.

"What's next for the bikes?"

"Huh?" I asked, as eloquent as ever.

"Any modifications or maintenance?"

"OH! Right. Well, let's see."

Our conversation continued around the bikes for awhile before we started talking about other activities we enjoyed. I kept taking glances at Ake's legs whenever he turned away.

If he were a woman, I'd have already made a move.

Before I could think about the implications of that statement, Ake spoke again.

"Breakfast was excellent, as was the company, but I should get going."

"Of course."

"Maybe next time we can share a campsite, though?"

"What, you didn't appreciate the Romeo and Juliet aspect of that arrangement?"

"Depends who's Romeo in that scenario."

"Right, I suppose it doesn't work for there to be two Romeos."

The look that passed across Ake's face should have tipped me off, but I was absolutely ignorant about what I'd just inferred.

"Well, I should get going." he said.

He started putting on his gear without speaking much.

"Hey, if you're out and about, my team's playing at Smith Park at 7. If you stop by, maybe we can grab a beer after?"

Ake thought for a moment. "Yeah, maybe. If I'm around, I'll swing by."

"Great. Great. Well, keep the shiny side up!"

Ake gave me a half smile before donning his helmet, walking his bike backwards before firing it up and leaving with a wave over his shoulder. I was aware it was a rather brusque departure, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out if it was because of something I'd done or said.

That night I was thrilled to be putting on my soccer gear again. The team welcomed me back with smiles, high fives and general banter about getting old. It wasn't but five minutes into the game when I realized I'd gotten rusty. That was, of course, when I was picking a ball out of the back of my net. I played ok, but we ended up losing 5-2.

For some reason, I was more upset Ake hadn't shown up than I was the loss.

Over the next couple of weeks, I thought about Ake less and less. One confusing masturbation session climaxed with the mental image of his ass in those leggings, bending over in my shop, but it was the only one.

One Friday, I received an email from a recruiter looking for a consultant for a rather large project. I would only be needed for the initial requirements gathering phase, as well as hand-off to the quality assurance group, which suited me fine. It would be a 3-4 month commitment. I could do much of the work from home, but would need to travel to the city for meetings.

I accepted it and started getting my work things together. Monday morning I would have to go to their office to sign paperwork, get credentials and work with the IT department to get my network access setup. Then I would begin a number of meetings with various groups and people to introduce myself and get a feel of where the project was.

As I expected, I spent my days commuting to the office in the city. The project was horribly behind schedule and it was taking multiple meetings to find the right people in charge to push things back on track. I was spending my weekends working from my dining room table, as well as odd hours of the night sitting upright in my bed with my laptop reviewing documents put together by other analysts.

It wasn't until the end of the third month that I realized I hadn't thought about Ake in some weeks. I'd messaged him a few times on Instagram shortly after he'd left, but he had been somewhat distant. After a couple weeks, I figured I'd give him some space and try again sometime later.

It was also during this time that I realized the project likely wouldn't succeed unless I stayed on until I could see it to production. When I could get the project manager focused, they did their job well, but that required more hand-holding than I was comfortable with, especially since I was billing at a consultant rate, not a project manager rate.

The weather had turned cool as fall settled in. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was staring out the patio door over my opened laptop, an unfinished email was being drafted explaining the latest delay due to an uninvested manager who thought he wasn't subject to the deadlines of the project. I'd been battling him for the last two weeks, trying to get his resources committed to the project so we could meet some hard deadlines. Time was running out and I had reached the point where I'd have to push harder than I liked.

I missed the last three games of the soccer session and was missing playing. I hadn't committed to playing with the team since I knew my schedule was going to be hammered, but I did tell them I was available to sub if they needed it and the timing worked for me.

So I wasn't surprised when I heard my phone vibrate against the table.

Kim: Hey, we can't find anyone. Any chance you can play at seven tonight?

I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hands. Truth was, I could use the break. I finished drafting the email and sent it off. I'd deal with the fallout on Monday. It was time to vent my frustration with some soccer.

Me: I'm in. Where's the game?

Kim: Fuck yes! Westview High, see you there!

Before I thought about what I was doing, I found myself on my phone, searching for Ake's page. He hadn't posted much in the last couple months, but looked like he was still getting out for rides and hikes. The last couple were of him and some other guy I didn't recognize and didn't remember him mentioning. Maybe an old friend or his business partner?

I liked his latest post before closing the app, setting my phone down and getting up to get something to eat. Something small, maybe. I had some hours before the game, but I hated playing with a full stomach.

The game went pretty well. We squeezed out a win thanks to some heroic defending. Not from me, though. I stepped out of my net to close down an attacker and was beat. Kim stepped in and blocked the shot with her body. I'd owe her a drink for that one, and she would make sure to collect.

"I'm making you get me a good scotch for that one, Dan!" she called from a few yards away. We were both changing into our street clothes and I saw someone jogging on the track around the field that I was sure I recognized.

"Ake?" I called out.

It dawned on me that we were playing at a high school that wasn't too far from his house.

He nodded and held up a single finger as he passed. I finished slipping my street shoes on, gathered up my bag and walked over to where Kim was sitting with some others. We spoke briefly, confirming where we'd meet for after-game drinks and snacks. She was determined to collect on that scotch, clearly.

I heard footsteps and turned to see Ake slowing in front of me.

Ake -

To say I was surprised when Dan called my name would be an understatement. I'd kept an eye on the game as I ran, but I certainly wasn't paying attention. I was tired. It had been a long week and I just wanted to get my run in. Normally I'd be trying to hit one of the trails or a bike path, but the day got away from me and since it was getting late, I went to the one place I knew would have lights.

I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing Dan. I could lie to myself and say I hadn't been deliberately avoiding him, though I had to admit it didn't take much effort. Our social circles didn't overlap and it's a big enough town. The toughest part was not stalking him on social media. I failed at that, and it looked like he hadn't been up to much since I'd seen him last.

"Sorry Dan, had to get the last lap done."

"No need to apologize. How've you been?"

Before I could reply, I heard another familiar voice.

"Dr. Kepler?"

"Kim Finnegan! My goodness it's been, what, a year already?"

She nodded and reached out to pull me into a hug. I held up my hands to stop her.

"I'm a sweaty mess, Kim."

"C'mon doc, I've been running around for the last hour saving this geriatric ass." She gestured with her thumb over her shoulder, pointing at Dan. I looked at him and raised one eyebrow. I gave in to the hug.

"Oh, ha-ha." He said, sarcastically. "As I recall, this puts the score of us saving each other at what, 57-3?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Brick!"

"Brick?" I asked.

Kim laughed. "Brick wall. He really is a decent goalkeeper most of the time. Come to drinks with us."

I gestured again at my clearly sweaty running gear.

"C'mon doc, we all smell like week-old gym socks. Let's go get a drink, Dan's buying!"

Kim said that loud enough that a few others whooped in joy. Dan just rolled his eyes. Clearly this wasn't uncommon for this group. We walked to the parking lot and it dawned on me that I had jogged here from my house.

"Umm, Kim, I didn't drive."

"No worries, you're with me, doc. C'mon!"

Kim and I caught up a little bit while we drove the short way to the pub.

"How do you know Dan?" she asked.

"He was a patient."

"Oh! Right! About five months ago or so? When he fucked up his hip?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Saw him for about a month. How long have you known him?"

Kim thought for a moment. "We've played with and against each other for about three years, I think. When I got the chance to put this team together last year, I wanted him as our full-time keeper, so I asked. He hasn't been around much lately, but he makes it when he can."

"Hasn't been around?"

"Yeah, he works as a contract consultant in the city. He normally splits his time between home and office when he works these contracts, but this one's apparently been a handful. He's been in the office 6 days a week. Been really stressing him out."

We talked some more. I caught her up on Katie's newly arrived baby, Sebastian, and that the couple were now a happy three. I was convinced Kim had never met a stranger. She became fast friends with Katie and her wife, my business partner Mila. For awhile, you didn't see one without the other two, at least in social situations.

I hadn't realized I'd asked about Dan again until Kim got quiet for a moment.

"What?" I asked.

"Why do you keep asking about Dan?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had been. We met up after his care while out on a motorcycle ride and hung out. I hadn't seen him in awhile, that's all."

"That's all?"

"That's the last time I saw him."

"C'mon doc."

I sighed. "It's nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing. You like him don't you?"

She was just as pushy as Katie. "I guess. Not that it matters, of course."

"No, I suppose not." she admitted.

I sighed again. "So he's hopelessly straight, isn't he?"

"As far as I know." Kim admitted. "I've never seen him with anyone other than women, and I've never seen him in the places we frequent."

She meant gay bars and other LGBTQ-friendly locations.

"He's never had an issue with it, though. We've gone out to bars and wing-manned for each other, trying to get women for the other to take home. He's never seemed to bat an eye whenever I brought up anything about it. He's good at the wing-man part, too."