Not knowing if he hurt her or not but feeling he had--he sat and began to cry--hating himself and what he'd done in his thinking it was okay--wondering how he could feel guilt when she made a point out of telling him sex with others was all right.
After his emotional release--he stood looking at himself in the bathroom mirror and his red eyes. He splashed cold water on his face several times knowing he had to go looking for her. He dressed in the best clothes he could find and went to
Sangre Maria's
in search of her. Even if he hadn't hurt her--he knew he loved her beyond anything he thought possible. He imagined the torment he felt inside him being conveyed to her--through telepathy--when she would know he was crazily-mad-in-love with her.
When he entered the club he saw her dancing with someone. She was smiling and behaving seductively--making him feel all the more--whatever he felt. He didn't know if the guy she was dancing with was a vampire or not but he really didn't care at this point when he walked to her. Assertively he stepped between her and the guy she was dancing with when the guy said,
"Hey dude--find your own squeeze to dance with!"
He was rudely and forcefully pushed aside when something inside him was triggered--set into motion as it surprised him with a sensation he never felt before. He looked at Alexis when she smiled at him--knowing and seeing the fury he felt as it showed in his face--pleasing her. He heard her words in his head clearly:
"What are you going to do about it, because if you don't do something; I'm gonna let him fuck me?!"
"This is my squeeze asshole," he said pushing him backwards, reeling into the crowd of dancers.
He grabbed her by the arm to walk away when he was spun around--taking a solid hit to the nose--cracking it open like a walnut. Looking at her he moved his hand to his face as they watched it filling with blood. He didn't know what she thought or felt but he saw the fascination and excitement in her face.
"If you want me, you're going to have to fight for me now," he heard her taunting and goading him into action--doing that which he had fought against doing his whole life in the spirit of civility--until he was enraged with a new kind of lust.
He didn't care how many times he got hit or how hard for that matter, since he knew it would heal and he'd doggedly pursue his opponent until he couldn't fight any more--at least that was what he was hoping. He had a lifelong of hidden anger inside him and it showed in his remarkable ability in fighting--as though he wanted to kill in a pervasive fit of anger. He used what he could remember from training with her, rendering his combatant unconscious--unmoving.
At some point during the altercation he felt he was an animal. Feelings of compassion were gone--freeing him to strike out and attack the way an animal would. It seemed the whole purpose of his existence, if only temporarily, was ruthlessness--to incapacitate his adversary--rendering him helpless until he was no longer a threat to him or anyone else for that matter. He also knew he was only a boy-scout compared to what he saw her doing that night in the alley, when his life hung in the balance.
On their way out the door an ambulance was arriving. She clutched his arm when he didn't know how he felt in becoming an animal when certain triggers were turned on. It was both exhilarating and dreadful in knowing compassion and sympathy for other humans was the difference in being human and animal.
He spat out a mouthful of blood knowing he no longer had a choice in the matter. It saddened and angered him since a part of him was fading fast when soon it'd be gone and lost forever.
