* This is a repost of an old romance story with a fresh edit.*
Chapter 4
Concealed in the shadowy hallway, Sam gazed into the sun-streaked bedroom, transfixed by a sense of déjà vu.
Sharon posed in front of the full-length mirror, wearing Jan’s lingerie. Twirling left and then right, she inspected the provocative image. Her hands smoothed the fabric, making it conform to her curves. Turning away from the mirror, she looked over her shoulder to see the back, while Sam enjoyed the front. The low neckline and high hem left only the most intimate portions hidden. The smooth friction of the fabric, or maybe an erotic thought, had aroused her breasts.
Deciding voyeurism was only a synonym for frustration, Sam boldly walked into the room to face the consequences. To hell with propriety.
When his reflection suddenly appeared, Sharon gasped, "Sam!" and hugged her body.
Striding to the bed, he dropped her folded clothes onto the quilt, picked up her discarded robe and laid it over his arm. Silently, he faced her, and took time to enjoy the statuesque vision, while fighting to maintain a neutral expression.
Her pale skin blushed. "Sam, I’m so sorry! I wasn't snooping, honest. My clothes weren't here, so I was looking for something to wear. I felt too naked in just the robe."
Sharon had a sexy way of squirming under his solemn gaze. So he prolonged her embarrassment. "Pardon me for noticing, but aren't you almost naked in that?"
"Well, you weren't supposed to SEE ME IN IT!"
Sam liked her combative tone, as well. 'The question is, have I found anything about her I don't like.'
"I noticed Jan's clothes were still in the closet, so I thought maybe her underwear would be in the dresser. When I saw this, I couldn't resist trying it on. It's a girl thing -- we try on each other’s clothes -- and this is such a lovely piece. I know it was wrong of me. Please forgive my intrusion."
Tired of the hard-nosed act, Sam sat on the bed. "I haven't had the heart to pack away her things. It's something I’ll have to do soon." He paused, and stared between his feet. "I used to be able to picture her wearing them, but even that's getting difficult. And I'm not sure how healthy it is to fantasize about her." After one more appreciative glance at the nervous woman, he held out the robe.
She ran the ten feet, and wrapped herself in the white terrycloth.
He looked up, and said, "Green makes you look phat."
"FAT?" Sharon marched back to the mirror and flashed herself. "I DON'T look fat!"
"Not F-A-T, fat. P-H-A-T, phat, pretty hot and tempting." He stole a peek in the mirror, and then looked down.
"Hot and tempting?” She asked, and sat beside him. “I haven't heard a compliment like that in a long time. Thanks." Placing her arm around his back, she gave him a sisterly squeeze, then folded her hands in her lap.
"I want you to keep it. And I'm sure Jan would be happy if you'd go through her clothes and take anything you want. The rest I'll give to the Salvation Army." He looked at her face, and watched her eyebrows knit together. "Whatever's bugging you, just say it. I'm a big boy."
Sharon smiled at him. "Yes you are, Sam. And a very kind one." She paused, took a deep breath, and said, "This must be a difficult time for you. So just tell me to shut up if I start to make you uncomfortable.” Another deep inhale and exhale. “Here's the condensed version of my dilemma. When the notebook came in the mail, I was shocked and embarrassed. The personal things Jan wrote,” she stopped, considered her words, and then continued, “I know how much she loved you.”
She crossed her ankles and put her hands in the robe pockets. “And I was flattered that she thought of me as someone… compatible with you, as a friend and maybe more. I won't lie, and say I hadn't thought about you after Jan's death. I don't think there's a single woman in the county over 30 who hasn't. And probably some under 30." She laughed. "You need to know, for your own protection, how attractive a man with a faithful track record is, especially to women who were in bad relationships. They all want a shot at the title -- Mrs. Sam Colton."
Embarrassed, Sam said, "There must be slim pickings out there."
She patted his knee. "We know a good thing when we see it."
They sat quietly until, in an anxious whisper, Sharon said, "The problem is, I want a title shot too. I like you very much, Sam. But I feel like I'm living in a dream world, and I'm starting to feel like an inside trader. I've been given unfair market information.” A frustrated pause, then, "I'd like to say in my own defense that I wasn’t plotting a strategy to seduce you... at least, not at first." She smiled, tight-lipped. "I've been alone for nearly seven years, and happy, for the most part. When Jan died, I felt very sorry for you and Chris. I pray that someday you will remarry so Chris will have a mother. I even pray you would be able to have biological children with a second wife. I know how much you and Jan anguished over not having your own."
He smiled at her, and nodded slightly. "I know you do."
Sharon looked away, but Sam noticed the shimmer in her eyes.
There was another stretch of silence.
"I'm 45 years old, Sharon. I may never be able to look at a mother holding her baby without a twinge of regret, but I'm beyond the desire to father a child. I just don't have the energy, anymore. Chris is my son. I'm more than satisfied."
Tears trickled down her cheeks. "You're lucky to have such a wonderful boy."
'Lucky?' he thought. 'I haven't felt lucky for a long time.' Sam reached out and, with the back of his finger, lifted a tear from her right cheek. "How long has it been since you've felt lucky?"
Sharon blurted a sound that was half laugh, half sob. "Oh, I hate it when my words get turned around on me,” and smiled sheepishly. "I guess I shouldn't have said lucky. Blessed would have been a better choice." A pause for thought, and then, "I'd given up hope of having a... The day I received Jan's notebook I began to feel hopeful about being part of a... I thought maybe... Oh damn, this all sounds so hokey. I'm sorry." She stared hard at her knotted fists.
'Stay hopeful.' The parting words from Jan's letter echoed in Sharon's voice. Sam’s heart was full, and lubbed thickly in his chest. Temptation pounded between his temples. He put his hand over hers, knowing it was sinful. But their shared loneliness had a stronger pull.
She met his eyes and smiled.
Was this one of life’s opportunities? Sam asked, "Did Jan write about the little silk number you're wearing?"
Sharon raised an eyebrow and grinned. "No, she didn't."
The change of subject seemed to please her. Sam wanted to please her, but knew this was more about feeling like a man again. "It all goes back to when I was a child."
She gave him one of those, 'Yeah right' looks.
"No, really. My parents were poor farmers. For years, my father worked like a mule to eke out a living. He didn’t want to sell the land that had belonged to the family for three generations."
Sam stood up. "Are you in a hurry? Because this will take a while."
"Well, I had planned on weeding the garden longer, but I don't think I want to risk causing anymore property damage."