Chapter 1: Invitation to the Edge
I've never experienced another woman's touch. Never really thought about it. Things change!
My fantasies do not seem to come sugar coated or innocent in nature. They seem to take the path to the deviant side of the street. Things that many would label perverse, to me are intriguing, stimulating, steamy!
I find my mind taking me to dark corners; corners of intense drama where I am the participant; I am the submissive; I am the humiliated.
Where did this idea originate and grow? My subconscious has been the fertilizer, my dreams the projectionist. I picture myself as the lead actress, with the stage lights shining brightly on me. But, this has never happened – neither in slumber nor in an awakened state.
The true boulevard of sexual drama for me, is one in which I actively participate, and , act as the author, director and choreographer. In it, I am cast as a leather clad, demanding, and forceful dominant.. There is a definite comfort level for me in this role. Power! Control! They are so intoxicating that I become swept away.
But, to submit to another... Now that would be an altered state of mind!
Most of my fantasies are incomplete; they are just fragmented scenes that flash with the speed of a strobe light against a black wall. Tiny vignettes, add them all together and they equal the sum of the whole. I just never seem to be able to string them in any sequence or complete scene before they blink to black and cease to exist.
As yet, my "administrator" has no definite composite, shape or form. Even in imagination, my controlled nature does not allow 'Master' to be associated with someone relating directly to me! Perhaps therein lies the key to incomplete imagery. Rational thought tells me that there has been no true submission on my part. Aloofness still saturates the fibers which live within my skin.
It is not Nathan that ascends to authority. The imaginary phantom form bears no resemblance to him. Not in body type, statue, or mannerisms. He is not a familiar soul. He is not part of my present. Maybe he is a seedling of my past not yet recognized. Maybe "he" is not even a he after all.
Conceivably, my perception of Nathan is of him being submissive to me. Interchangeable roles have not previously entered my thoughts as a possibility. For such a psychodrama to exist between us, both of us would have to do a lot of mental preparation.
Have you ever found this to be true? You ponder a situation, examine it from all sides, touch it, feel it; you know, really experience it through fantacy. All the while you feel you must be the lone soul in the world focused on this subject matter. Then out of the blue you find all around magazine articles, talk shows, book plots, or conversations overheard at random that shed a whole new dimension of vast knowledge already archived about your special interest. Seek and ye shall find. Ironic, a Biblical quote could be so apropos.
Late one evening Nathan sat glued to the computer while I read a novel. "What are you working on, Nathan? Why don't you come to bed?"
"It's a research project. " He quipped as he flashed with a quick smile over his shoulder. "Going to Arizona next week. Would you like to join me?"
"Yeah. Sure. I'd like to see some cowboys."
And so as Paul Harvey says, as only he can say, "And now for the rest of the story......."
We were airborne for over an hour and sipping cocktails when he reached into his briefcase, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to me. "Wait! Before you open that, there are some rules you should know about!"
"Rules?" I query, "Are we playing a game that I did not know about?"
"That will be up to you ultimately. But, I did take the liberty of contacting a 'playmate' should you be inclined." He handed me the envelope and smiled seductively while savoring the amber liquid.
Okay, I admit it!! I was abundantly curious and my mind was already racing with the sensual possibilities that he may have arranged for our pleasure. So, with no pretense of just subtle interest, I tore the flap of the envelope open in a single stroke. Inside were several sheets of paper that appeared to be copies of e-mail communications.
The first one was easily recognizable as having originated with him. It was a letter, an unbelievable letter that detailed a fantasy that included both this woman and us. What woman? That was the driving thought in my mind!!! I concentrated my efforts on her communiqué'.
Dear Nathan,
So you want to play?
You should know that I am very selective about who I spend my time with. My first requirement is for immediate compliance of my instructions. Since you have sent me your detailed desires for an encounter with me, you have successfully passed the first test.
