Conversion Therapy Ch 12

I went in the kitchen and searched for food finding only some bread and jelly. So I toasted the bread and put jelly on it thinking it was not a very nutritious breakfast. As the toast was toasting, I got the coffee maker ready and brewing, so by the time I had eaten the coffee was ready.

I went in and took a shower figuring it wouldn't be a good idea going to see about a job smelling like cum and sex. I washed my hair, shaved my legs, pussy and underarms, and toweled off. It felt good, almost sensuous, to take a shower after three mornings of bathing with a bucket and creek water.

I was already turned on again. I put the BenWa balls in my pussy and squeezed several times to tighten up. Then I looked in my closet. What to wear? I figured that despite the job being modeling nude, I shouldn't be overly sexy so I put on the pretty print dress I had bought last week. As had become my custom, I did not wear a bra or panties.

I got on my bike and road over to Jaxson's building arriving almost exactly at 9. I locked up my bike and walked quickly to his office. I was glad to see the door was open. I knocked gently but went on in and closed the door, going to him and putting my arms around his neck and kissing him.

When we broke the kiss, he said, "Why good morning, Layla. What may I do for you?"

"You can get down there and lick my pussy. I am so horny just thinking of coming to see you, I could burst."

"I think I can handle that. Would you like to have a seat?"

I sat down in the chair for visitors.

"I think perhaps you may be more comfortable for the procedure in that chair," he said indicating his.

I quickly changed chairs smiling at his clinical approach.

"Now please lift your dress and spread your legs," he said checking the door to make sure it was locked.

He came to me, knelt down and asked, "Are you prepared for the procedure, Miss Layla?"

"I am, doctor."

He bent over and lifted my legs to his shoulders and began to eat me. I was in heaven again. He penetrated me with his fingers and got the balls in position to do the most good and began working them with his fingers. Then he began flicking my clit. I was so incredibly turned on and needy, the wave almost immediately started to grow and move towards shore.

I was moaning and groaning and trying to muffle myself with my hand in my mouth. My pelvis was thrusting and I was squirming. Then I began to quake with the full force of the breaking of the wave and the crashing blows against the shore. I could hardly contain myself. I was afraid I may take Jaxson's head off I had tightened my legs so around his neck, but I couldn't stop. My orgasm kept on and on and he kept pumping and licking obviously enjoying himself.

All things come to an end and this did too. I felt so warm and satisfied I thought maybe I could go the rest of the day without an orgasm. But thinking one may do something is different from actually doing it.

When the orgasm had subsided, Jaxson raised up and leaned in and kissed me. "You want me to do you," I asked.

He said, "No, baby, we should go. I told Hank we'd be over about 9:15. I think we're already late."

I got up straightened up, checked my hair and lipstick and we walked to the fine arts building. For fine arts, the building was sort of plain. Just 1950s pragmatic architecture. Inside though the walls were filled with art work some classical works and some student productions of all sorts: oils, acrylics, pottery, textiles, sculptures, and more. It was quite impressive.

We walked through the rather large entrance hall and down a corridor. It appeared to be an area that was once much larger and open but now divided by walls into smaller areas. I saw the studio straight down and to the end of the hall. The room was rather large seemingly going to both sides of the building. There were lots of windows and plenty of lighting. Students were at work sketching on easels.

Jaxson stopped looked around, spied Hank and led me to him. I had imagined him as tall, rugged and the like, given his name. He was anything but. He was short, round, and doughy. He had a scruffy beard, bald head, and thick glasses. Jaxson introduced us and Hank looked me over.

"Please excuse my intrusive look. I understand you are interested in modeling. I also lack nearly all what they call social graces, so you have to learn to put up with me."

I found that sort of amusing and smiled and stuck out my hand and said, "Nice to met you, professor."

"Oh, you don't have to have social graces either. We'll be working together so just call me Hank. My students call me worse things."

"OK. Hank."

I thought that if Jaxson hadn't told me he was a nice person, I may have been getting nervous.

"I'm sorry Layla, I'm just getting this class started. They are all first term art students some of whom show promise and some of whom may never blossom. Therefore I am a bit busy. I can give you a five minute short course in the modeling career. Jaxson, you can leave her. I won't bite, I promise."

Jaxson laughed, shook his hand and said, "I know you won't Hank. I do need to go get ready for class." Turning to me, he kissed me and said, "I'll see you at 12?"

"Yes, at 12. What do I do until then."

"When you finish here you can go to the library or book store, or come to my office. I'll tell the secretary to let you in."

"OK." I chirped and he was off.

"He's a hell of a nice guy for a philosopher," Hank said smiling.

"Yes, he is. I think I love him already." I was sort of surprised by what he said though. I was dating a philosopher. I'd not given it much thought. And a professor. I'd never dreamt it and the thought gave me a chill.

"OK, Layla. Modeling is not for everyone. For one thing you have to be comfortable being nude. You sit for a 50 minute, 75 minute or in the evening, 2 hour and 45 minute class. The night classes have a break of 15 minutes. The students have to get a smoke but they are not allowed to smoke in this building. If you do more than one class back to back you can use the dressing room bathroom. Only models have access to it and there is one for male and female models. You can bring something to take on and off easily during breaks if you want. Most male models just stay naked. Some female models like to cover up. It's up to you." He stopped and seemed to think. "There I go assuming you are already in. Sorry."

I waved him off because it didn't matter.

"OK. You get paid $15 for a 50, 25 for a 75 and 50 for a night class. If you want to do it, I can give you about as many hours as you want. Female models are difficult to get because they are fearful of getting a bad rep but in reality, there is nothing sexual about it and we forbid models from dating the art students. If they decide they want to, they must quit modeling. If you are not a student, we pay you in a bit different way than if you are. A student gets paid through the work study program while non-students get paid through our department budget. I hear you plan on becoming a student."

"Yes, sir. I'm hoping to start the winter term."

"That's good for you and for us."

"When may I start?"

"Well, you can start right now if you want or you can think about it and start tomorrow."

"I'd love to start now. Jaxson and I have discussed it and he sort of knew what you just said. I'm pretty satisfied I want to do it."

"Well, I'd love you to start. All they've had so far was the male model and the students, especially the more advanced, are gripping about not having a female figure to draw."

"OK, what do I do."

"First let me introduce you to the class. Then I'll show you the dressing room. Then you can undress and when you are ready, I'll show you what to do."

"OK."

He took me to the front of the class about five feet from where the male model sat. I'd not seen any other man than Jaxson naked. This guy looked like the men in the Greek sculptures I'd once seen in a museum. Tall, handsome and muscled. I couldn't help but notice his rather large cock that was clearly partly erect. It twitched when Hank called the class's attention.

"Class, this is Layla, she is going to be our new model."

The class clapped and hooted, some said, "Yay!"

"OK, settle down. She is a friend of Professor Jaxson. So be nice. You can introduce yourselves following class if you wish. Let's get back to work. She'll be out in a minute."

He led me to a room in the back of the class. It was big enough for four or five people to get undressed or dressed. It had two sitting chairs in it. There was a row of lockers for valuables but not for clothes. I was starting to get nervous. I thought this would be easier given the last week of spending as much time as possible naked.

Hank said, "Layla, most models have some butterflies when they start. Just remember this is not about sex. I guess some of the guys may like looking at you. I'm sure some will. Even some of the girls may, but if you comport yourself modestly and don't flirt all the sexual stuff will dissipate. When you are ready, come to the stool to the right of the male model. I'll show you how to pose but you will not be looking his way or he yours. If you need to go to the restroom during a class, we ask you to try not to, just get up and go. Also, the towels are there for you to sit on. Just lay it on the stool before sitting. It's for sanitary purposes. Any questions?"

What he said made me feel better and I said, "I don't think so."

"OK, then get undressed and come out when you are ready."

He left. I took a deep breath and took off my dress. I stored my purse in the locker and took the key. I took a really deep breath to calm my nerves and opened the door. Despite having been a bit of an exhibitionist on the beach, taking the walk through the room knowing people would actually see me naked was odd and a bit embarrassing. I'm not sure why. They were artists, right. I was just an object like an apple to them. Maybe I wasn't so convinced.

So taking a towel, I walked through the class to the stool, laid the towel down and sat down. Hank noticed I was there and winked at me. What did that mean. He was talking to a student about his drawing, so maybe he just wanted me to know he saw me. After maybe two or three minutes he came over.

"OK, Layla, what we want for this class is a simple pose. You sit with knees turned more or less towards the class but at a 45 degree angle. Think of the back wall as one axis and the side wall as the other. You want the line between the two and through you to mark a spot on both walls equal distance from the corner. So get your line." I did. "Now, just sit up straight, place your left hand on your thigh about here." He pointed. "Now turn your shoulders and place your other hand on the stool beside you here." That turned my body so the whole room could see at least my right breast. "Now you can look more or less at the back corner of the room. We do not require you to hold your head high or low but just at the corner. It is probably best if occasionally you move your head around a little to avoid a stiff neck, but always return to looking there. OK."

"I think so. If I want to ask you something, what do I do?"

"You can call for me. I'll almost always be in the room."

"Thank you."

"You think you are all right."

"I think so. Just a bit nervous."

"That's understandable. I like it that way, I don't need sluts doing this," he said and left.

The question was what do I do with my mind. I was sitting for the first time in my life doing something a couple of weeks ago I would have said I'd never do. I had to admit the money was good and if I didn't freak out over this, I could quit cleaning houses even though I'd want to clean Sheba's so I could see her regularly. Then I wondered what Mom and Dad would do when they found out I was modeling nude for the college art classes. Actually, I didn't want to think about that.

I began to think about Grindle. I hadn't seen her since last Thursday, I think. She was moving into her own place and going on a date with Crystal. How did that go? I knew she had had sex with some other girls but was she going full lesbian or would she still see boys. I'd never even known what a lesbian was a year ago. Now I know one? Was my world ever changing?

Then my mind went to my existential problem. To or not to have intercourse. I thought about all the things Jaxson and I had discussed, what Grindle had revealed to me, what I had done so far and what Sheba, Dr. Elizabeth and Sheila had said, and what Pastor Hunter had said. In a way it had all been a jumble in my mind. I tried to organize it in to some coherent thoughts. Each conversation had had its own coherence, but how did it fit together.

Dr. Elizabeth had asked me to consider why God would have given women an organ meant for only one thing and that was pleasure if God did not want us to have pleasure. Was God that much of a trickster or that sadistic? I certainly did not think God was either of those. So why all the stuff in the Bible or at least the way I had been taught to understand what is there? And Grindle had startled me with her revelation about she and Harry. I sort of used that as permission for making love to Jaxson. It certainly felt good.

Right now I was glad I was not a guy or I'd be hard as a rock. I sort of was. I hoped the students would take my hardening nipples to result from the air conditioning not my thoughts. I was getting turned on with this train of thought. I tried to think about something else but kept coming back to the same subject.

Jaxson and Pastor Hunter had said more or less the same thing, however, Pastor Hunter had given me additional things to think about regarding the history of marriage and the differences in cultural practice. It had to be easier to follow the rules I was taught when people got married at 13 or 14 years old. Girls would have just gotten to the age of wanting to have sex. I didn't know about guys. I had sort of been given the idea that boys always wanted to have sex right out of the womb, but I knew better.

I thought maybe I was going to go full in with Jaxson. I knew I loved him. What was the difference anyway between having the sex we were and having intercourse except that I could get pregnant. With the pill that worry was nearly gone.

I was also beginning to think there was no, "If you do what God wants, God will bless you." I sort of heard what Pastor Hunter said about God being a gracious and loving God who provided forgiveness for us. Maybe I needed to rethink my idea of God. My church and the Bible College had given me two different ideas of God. First, God is just which meant he must punish us for our sins, but he sent Jesus so we could receive forgiveness and be in right relationship with God. But then, second, God demands we behave a certain way. If bad things happen to us, God must not be happy with us. So we have to pray and if we pray enough and earnestly enough, God will act favorably toward us. What a contradiction!

Did I ever have a lot to think through? Suddenly, a bell rang and the students began gathering their stuff. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there. A few of the girls came up and introduced themselves. One of the boys did. After the students were nearly all gone, I just sat there. Then, "You can get up now, get a cup of coffee or tea. It's on the table at the back of the room."

The voice was high pitched but male. I turned to see the model. The voice did not match my imagination. As strong, handsome and tall as he was, I expected a much lower pitched voice. He had a high tenor voice.

"Oh, hi."

"Hi, Layla. It's nice to meet you. I'm Harvey. I've been doing this for a month now."

He seemed nervous and uncertain what to talk about. I was having trouble. I didn't know where to look. Curiosity said down. Instead, I tried to focus on his eyes which courtesy required.

"When I first started I always covered up between classes. Now I just stay nude until the next class arrives. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, I'll wrap a towel around me."

I was a bit flustered not knowing how to respond. This was my first time meeting another nude person with whom I had no former relationship, except maybe for Sheila. That was different. "Harvey, it's fine. I'll get accustomed to all this soon enough. So if you want to stay nude, I'll be all right with it. In fact, it seems a bit ridiculous to cover up in front of people you are going to be nak..." I hesitated because it seemed 'nude' was preferred. "I mean nude."

He chuckled. "Anyway, I look forward to getting to know you. Plus don't worry about me. I'm into guys," he sort of whispered. "Not many people know that but I thought it may make you more comfortable."

I was sort of shocked but hoped I didn't show it. "Well, that's nice." I hesitated again but I had no idea what I was supposed to say to such a revelation. "Look, Harvey, I'm sorry. I just don't know what is appropriate to say when someone tells you that. I hope you didn't feel offended."

"Naw, I'm OK. I understand it is still sort of out of the norm for most people. Thanks though, you didn't go running away like I was a bacteria or something."

I laughed a little. "I guess to some extent it is all new to most of us."

Hank saved us from the conversation by walking up. "Hi, Harvey, may I have a moment with Layla?"

"Sure! Talk to you later, Layla."

"I hope he wasn't bothering you."

"Not at all. He is sort of amusing and delightful, despite being different."

"So are you OK with everything?"

"I think so. I'm standing her naked in front of you, just had a conversation with a person who is self-confessed homosexual in the nude. I think I'll be all right."

"Then you want to do the next class."

"Absolutely. I just want to meet Jaxson for lunch afterwards."

"That's not a problem. There is no class the next period. There is for the 1:15 period."

"When does that end?"

"2:30."

"I could do that class, but I have to leave at 2:00 to get to my other job unless I can get in touch with them and delay my start time."

"We'll take what we can at this point."

"Do you want to work tomorrow?"

"I'd love to."

"Well, we have four classes tomorrow. One is at night. Can you do that one?"

"I think so. I think Jaxson has one Wednesday night so it would work great."

"I tell you what, why don't you get here at 8:30 in the morning and we can make you a schedule."

"OK. So I'll do this class and be back at 1:15."

"Yep. Thank you so much."

"Wow! Thank you. I know I'll like this much more than cleaning house."

"Good! It's time to start."

I went back to the stool and struck my pose, excited to get something that to me felt far better than cleaning houses. When someone asks, 'What do you do?' now I can say that I'm a model. I bet lots of them would be even more impressed if they discovered I modeled nude.

I had a problem though—how to work out this afternoon. If I don't get started until three, it'll be 6 at least before I'm finished. I toyed with the idea for a bit. Trying to call my employers was very hard. It usually meant calling and getting a call back. I wasn't going to be around a phone for very long. I could just quit both but they had been good to me. I didn't want to just dump them. I could leave a note this afternoon for the future.

I tried thinking of something else— anything else, but the only thing that came to mind was Jaxson and that made me horny. I couldn't touch myself obviously. I had to sit still and masturbating in front of a roomful of people was not appropriate unless one was making a porn movie.

Then a light went off. Maybe I could call Grindle and get her to help me. That's what I would do. Fortunately, she'd be at my house or at her new apartment and she already had her number there and had given it to me.