Conversion Therapy Ch 05

Our afternoon together was unexpected. I had decided I'd not see Layla, not because I didn't want to but because I figured she was busy with other things. I was home alone. Sheila, I knew, had gone out so she was not next door. So I lay comfortably without worry of prying eyes on my chase lounge. Not that I worried a lot about her but sometimes I'd like freedom from prying eyes.

Needless to say I could not keep my mind off Layla and tried to study and do some preparation for classes. I just got hornier the more I tried to focus other places than Layla. It seemed like a trick joke of nature.

When I got up to get a drink from the kitchen, I saw her outside standing there by her bike looking up at the house and then not, turning one direction then the other, apparently trying to make up her mind if she wanted to see me or even to knock. Then Sheila walked up the street. I knew then that Layla would be in my house sooner than later.

Sure enough, she walked up the walk to my door and knocked. I had moved so she couldn't see me as she approached. I waited so she could knock again because I didn't want her to know that I was watching. I had seen her in her red dress from Friday, but when I opened the door, the sensations of surprise over her beauty and her manner spread through me. Would I ever get over that? Maybe I didn't want to.

I let her in and took her in may arms and kissed her. I had heard of toe curling kisses but never experienced one before. But this time I did. I reacted with pure desire and pleasure at her touch. Of course, my cock which was already half hard went the rest of the way.

I told her that this was an unexpected pleasure and invited her to the patio and asked about the bags. Lots of new clothes she wanted to try on for me. What a turn on that would be—her taking her clothes on and off or off and on. I was game.

I wanted to invite Sheila over for her advice because I have very little fashion sense. Anybody who knows me knows that. When I see a nicely dressed woman, I know it but getting her dressed is not my thing. Saying that made me think, "I can put the clothes on her if she has chosen what to wear." Even the thought made me hornier if that is possible.

Anyway, she suggested that she wanted me to be naked while I watched. I only had a pair of shorts on so I stripped them off and called over to Sheila who was pretending to be busy with her plants and was, as I knew she would be, naked.

She came over and we sat across from each other. My cock sticking up like a flag pole. Her, well, I do not know her state because women are not so obvious as us guys.

Layla said that she had 8 dresses she had bought and wanted our opinion. She went in my bedroom and removed the dress she came in and put on another. I can't remember whether it was the first or second, but one dress had a low back which showed her bra. Sheila suggested she lose the bra which she did. The dress won approval. She turned to go back to the bedroom and, as she did, she slipped the dress over her head and off so I got a glimpse of her gorgeous nearly naked body. She now only had a pair of very brief panties on.

That thought occupied my mind until she returned with another dress. We commented on each dress and Sheila suggested a few would be especially good for dates. One I remember was a blue one that clung to her body like a wet tee shirt, I guess. Was it ever sexy! If I had had pants on, I would have nearly come in them. As it was, I had a fair amount of precum leaking out my cock. I could tell both women noticed. Once Layla looked back over her shoulder and coyly licked her lips.

The fashion show ended and we all went and sat in the pool. It was very hot for mid September and the water was nice and cool but not uncomfortably cold. It did nothing, however, to reduce my horniness. I kept hoping that Sheila would leave which she finally did. Then Layla and I floated around with her head and shoulders being supported by noodles and her legs wrapped around my waist. My cock was poking in her ass crack. How I wish it were actually poking elsewhere.

We talked and I caressed and she caressed and we had a nice time. Finally, I got to where I had to have some release and I felt she did also, so we went in and got in bed and began making love. We ended up in 69, a position I was beginning to love. We licked and sucked and probed for what seemed like hours but probably wasn't but 40 or 50 minutes. We were engaged until, at least, it began to get dark. She had had quite a few orgasms and I had had two I think.

I suggested she needed to get home unless she wanted to spend the night. She said she thought she needed time to think about things because our relationship was developing quite quickly. I agreed and told her I'd follow her home on my motorcycle and carry her clothes on it because I felt like her riding her bicycle with the clothes was dangerous. So I did.

She let me kiss her good bye at the door. Nothing else. So I came home.

I was too charged up to go to bed and wanted to do something, so I went for a swim and swam for 30 minutes or so lapping the pool more times than I ever had. I got out and dried off and went to lay on my chase lounge.

It wasn't long until I fell asleep. I slept at least 8 hours maybe longer. I had no idea what time I went to bed. When I woke up, despite the sex we had last night, my cock was hard as a rock. I tried to ignore it and take a shower and get my books and notes together for my classes. I knew it would be a long day. A day that Layla would invade my thoughts more than philosophy.

I asked myself if I was following Socrates's meaning when he said, "The unexamined life is not wort living." Did I need to do more self-examination? Maybe. So I tried focusing on doing so? Were we right for each other? If we continued in our relationship, would it hamper my reaching my goals? What exactly were my goals? Was I being too dominant and would how we began our relationship lead to her making a decision wrong for her? It pleased me that she was thinking about going to a real college, but did not want her to base her decision on us. What if for some reason our relationship ended?

The questions lingered with me all day. My classes required my attention, but whether in class or not, my mind would inevitably turn to her sweet and wonderful body and person. I was caught in a circumstance that I wanted to be caught in. Was it for good? I thought so and wanted it to be so.

>>>

I woke up early and lay awake thinking. The night before I had written a letter to the dean. I thought about whether I wanted to actually give it to him. If I did, then, I thought, I would be free.

I decided to read it over and make sure it said what I wanted.

Dear Dean,

I wish to resign from the Bible College for several reasons. I know I do not have to give them but feel compelled to do so.

First, I have begun a relationship with a young man that I really like and feel that God has led me to. He is a very kind, compassionate, loving and gracious person. I feel strongly that I am falling in love with him.

Second, over the years I have felt uncomfortable with the answers I receive regarding the Bible and theology. While I know these are the answers you and my church have concluded, I feel they do not adequately deal with the questions that linger for me because they are too pat and too easy.

Third, this is related to the previous but is a bit different. I believe your teachings on women are simply too narrow and put women in a box or limit us too much. Why is it that men can have any profession and pursue any goal, but women can pursue only two goals both closely linked to each other. We can marry and have children, but we have to marry men approved by the church. The man I feel I am falling in love with is a Presbyterian and seems to me to be a very thoughtful Christian person. He does not think like you and this school or my church of the past, but he is genuinely good. He attends church on Sundays and teaches his students to think about their faith. Our discussions have led me to feel I can actually think for myself. Before I was just to accept what you taught.

Fourth, I'm still trying to figure this out, but I have had a sort of sexual awakening that has led me to question what you teach on this issue. Why has God given me something that could bring incredible joy and freedom in my life but then deny me that same joy and freedom? I don't get it and here at the Bible College, I cannot explore this subject because you have an answer set in stone.

Please forgive me if I seem judgmental, but this is how I feel and have had quite an awakening and epiphany in the last week. Since I cannot submit to your teachings which is a requirement of the College, I can do no other than resign.

Sincerely,

Layla Strong

For once in my life I feel strong.

I folded the letter, placed it in an envelope, ate breakfast, gathered my things and then did something I'd never ever thought would give me strength. I got the dildo, sat on the couch and brought myself to orgasm. When I finished coming, I felt stronger and more self assured than I could ever remember. I went to my bedroom to dress. I put on another pair of the panties Sheba had sent me. The feeling of the panties on my naked body, leaving it almost totally exposed gave me shivers. I then started to put a bra on, but something said, "Don't!" So I didn't. I also chose one of my new dresses. It was the one with the low back. I knew it would draw scorn from some but I was ready. I looked good, and the dress looked special and felt sexy without a bra because the material moved over my nipples and stimulated them. I just hoped it wouldn't cause me to orgasm all through class.

I rode my bike to school which felt altogether different. My breasts hung freely away from my body and brushed against my dress making them hard and full. At school, I proudly walked in and checked my mail. Not surprising I had a note to see the dean following my first class.

No prob. I was ready. I had planned on going to his office after class anyway. Before I got to the classroom, Grindle caught me, dragged me to the restroom and locked the door. "What in God's name are you doing?"

"Going to class, Grindle."

"But that dress; they'll expel you."

"I know but I'm ahead of the gang. I wrote my letter of resignation last night."

"Oh, my God," she said with a bit of scorn and of amusement. "Really! You're going to do it."

"Yep, I'm going to be liberated. I'm going to start living my own life and get out of this dead end box we're in."

She seemed to just notice something and stood back. "I can't believe it, you are not wearing a bra."

"Can't with this dress," I replied and pirouetted. "Too low of a back."

"Oh my, what has happened to you. This is my fault. I should have left you alone."

"No, Grindle," I said taking her in my arms. "It's a lot of things that just woke me up. You are a dear and I love all you've done."

Then she kissed me full on the lips and her tongue entered my mouth. Her hands went to my breasts and began to massage them. That went on until the warning bell sounded. "Oh, how I love you. I don't want you out of my life, but if you leave school, Harry won't let me ... ." She stopped and stared at me as if a light bulb just went off then slowly finished "let me see you again." She paused for a few beats. "Dang, Layla, you are right. We are in a box. He controls everything. I just have to go along. I have to have a talk with him. I may be sleeping on your couch tonight."

"Not if you kiss me like that again. You'll be in my bed," I said sort of teasing but also sort of being honest. I know I'd never be satisfied with just a woman, but I don't want to be without Grindle either.

Class was a bore. My mind was a thousand miles away and several of the men and the professor kept looking at me with a mixture of lust and scorn, but I didn't care. This was the last they'd see of me. I'd fended each of them off long enough.

Following class, I went to the dean's office. I was filled with trepidation that I'd lose my resolve, but I was determined not to and felt my new found confidence. Maybe I needed to go to the restroom and bring myself off again before going in.

I told the secretary I was there to see the dean. She'd not looked up. When she did, her eyes grew wide as she scanned my dress. She buzzed him and he said in his gruff voice, "Send her in."

I walked through the door standing tall with my breasts confidently leading my way. He gulped visibly. I had him where I wanted him. Off guard.

He found his voice and said, "Have a seat."

"No, sir, I prefer to stand. This won't take long," I said as I handed him my letter.

"What's this?"

"My letter of resignation from the college."

"Whoever heard of such a thing. People just drop out."

"I know but that is a coward's way and I am no longer a coward. I'd like you to read it."

He opened the envelop and removed the sheet of paper and began to read. The more he read the more red he turned. When he was done, he said, "Well, I never— such insolence."

"No sir, not insolence. It is honesty. I am claiming my self-respect not being disrespectful. I have decided to make my own decisions from now on and that can't happen here. So I am done."

"You have a seat and let me tell you a thing or two."

"No, sir, I have thought about this and this is what I want. I'm done being the plaything of men. I'm done with the theology you teach because I can never get the answers that make sense. I find your teachings often conflict or add to what is in the Bible. I know, for example, that you noticed my dress. What in the Bible says I cannot dress in a dress that is beautiful and makes me feel beautiful? Nothing. You have to extrapolate your repressive views on modesty from places that have little to do with it. Anyway, we are done here so I'll be on my way."

I walked out of his office down the hall, got on my bike and rode home. I called to tell Jaxson only to realize I only had his home phone and not his office phone. What was I to do? I decided to go to the college.

It's probably 20 minutes there but I took my time feeling quite liberated, sexually alive, ready to take on the world. I got to the college but had no idea where to go. I finally asked a person if she knew where the Philosophy department was. She said she did and that she was on her way to class in that building.

I followed along and she asked, "Why are you going there?"

"Oh, I have a friend who teaches in the department."

"Really! Who might that be?"

I realized I had only heard his name and I stammered out, "Jaxson uhh, uhh, ... ."

"You mean Professor Ballard."

"I'm sorry, I know him but I only was told his last name once and I sort of forgot it."

"No, prob, I'll show you his office. I had him for Intro to Philosophy. He's such a stud."

I thought to myself, "If you only knew." But, then, maybe she did. I hadn't grilled him on his sexual history, but he didn't seem like the kind that would go after girls he taught.

Fortunately, when we arrived, his door was open and I stood in the doorway waiting for him to notice. Finally, he felt the light change or something and turned to see me. His face lit up and he immediately stood, pulled me in, closed and locked the door. Then he took me in his arms and kissed me. I could tell he loved the dress because his hands roamed all over as if feeling all the differences.

After some time—I have no idea how long because I was enjoying it so much—he broke the kiss and asked, "How come you are here?"

Although I tried to be deliberate, I ended up blurting it out, "I did it. I resigned and it feels so good. It's like I have been in a cage and I am now free", I said as I twirled on my toes.

He looked at me bemused but also proudly. "I'm sure that took some courage. I'm glad you feel good about it."

"Oh, I do Jaxson. What do I have to do to get in classes here?"

"Well, you go to the admissions office. They'll guide you through. What time is it?"

"11 something I think. OK, why don't we walk over there, I'll introduce you and they'll probably want you to fill out an application first, so we can maybe go to lunch."

"That sounds good. Could I just have you for lunch?"

"You could but if I don't get some food, I may not make it through my class. It's an hour and a half."

"Oh, all right then, I guess I can wait but I have a house to clean this afternoon and won't be home until 5:30." I realized then I was presuming. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jaxson. I'm being presumptuous. Please forgive me."

"I will but only if you give me a rain check on being voraciously consumed," he responded and laughed. We walked proudly hand in hand to the admissions office. It felt liberating to discover that I could do that and not wonder what others may think.

We went into admissions and Jaxson asked to see the director of admissions. There were 15 or so people in the office, why the director? Anyway, they sent us back and he introduced us. She was an attractive woman in her late 40s or early 50s, a bit overweight but still able to look quite nice. She obviously liked Jaxson.

Jaxson told her why we were there and she spoke with me just briefly about my goals, when I hoped to start and the like. I told her and she went to a cadenza and picked up a packet and gave it to me.

"This is a woman's admission packet," she said, explaining, "It has an application for admission, student aid, scholarships, and a FAFSA which is for work study and federal financial aid like Pell Grants and student loans. I think the material explains it quite well, but if you have any questions, please call me." She handed me a card with a phone number hand written on it. "That handwritten number is my personal phone here in the office. If I don't answer leave a message. I'll call you back."

I was a bit embarrassed that I had bothered such an important person for something some other person could have done for me, but I thanked her and she graciously told me, she'd be glad to help me any way she could. As we left the office, she said just as we opened the door, "Layla, you are such a beauty. You take care of my friend, Jaxson."

I turned and sort of curtsied and said, "Thank you so much, I plan on taking care of him," not sure if she meant exactly what I did.

We stopped into the eatery in the commons and bought sandwiches. Jaxson had said he had an idea for a pick nick. From the eatery we walked toward a building that looked very much like a church, and I asked, "We're going to have a pick nick in a church?"

"Well sort of. You'll see."

When we arrived at the building, I realized it was more a large auditorium than a church although it could have been. He directed me to a tower at one corner of the building and pushed through a door. We entered and he flipped a lock.

"You locked the door? How will anyone else get in?"

"They can wait. I want some privacy. Let's go."

We climbed what seemed an eternity of steps before arriving at a landing surrounded by windows. I started to go look out when he said, "Wait, first take your dress off."

I said, "I thought you said, we had to wait."

"I know, but I can't. We'll have to eat and make love in the time I have."

"Then, you take it off."

He did. Then he removed my panties.

"OK, now you." I unbuttoned and removed his shirt, then his pants, shoes and socks. I then took his cock in my mouth and sucked it a minute and then he said, wait and lifted me up.

"Let me show you the campus." We went to a window but I had to get up on a ledge to see out. That made the window sills just below my breasts but if I wasn't on the ledge I couldn't see. "Don't worry, nobody can see you and besides what if they could, they can't tell who we are from here."