Confessions of a Rust Belt Swinger

NOTE: This is the start of a book that I wrote of our (mostly) true adventures in swinging. I hope you find at least some of our adventures humorous.

Prologue: Before We Get Started, Please Buckle Up!

So.

This is the beginning.

Of the book.

About swinging.

No not the jazz dancing kind of swinging.

The other kind of swinging.

You know.

The kind where your wife has sex with someone who isn't you? That kind of swinging. Well, I guess it could be your husband as well. Your boyfriend? Girlfriend? How about we say your spouse? Significant other? The person that you regularly bang is, um, banging someone else. Like a drum. They're banging some stranger into next week. They're fucking so hard that their teeth are chattering. The van is a rockin so don't come a knockin.

That kind of swinging.

Sorry if you didn't know that.

Did you really not know that?

I mean, come on. How many goddamn books about jazz dancing could there really be? Like six? Tops? And haven't they all been written already?

On the other hand, you really can't have enough books about sex.

Sex, sex sex!!!! Fucking. There. I typed fucking again. I hope you're not offended by the word.

Because this book is gonna use a lot of it.

Could you really be offended by foul language? I mean, the book is about SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE! YOUR WIFE SCREWING THE SHIT OUT OF ANOTHER GUY!

Sorry for shouting, but if you haven't gotten the gist of this book yet, well, then you're an idiot. Put the book down and go away. Really.

For the rest of you. . . hmmmmm. . . now where was I.

Oh yeah, we're at the beginning.

This is a story. Well, my story. Strike that. Our story. You know, of me and my wife. Our story of swinging. We've had quite a few adventures. And by adventures, I mean some really, really, REALLY weird shit.

Really.

This is my attempt to tell you about some of it.

The weird shit.

The adventures.

So buckle up campers. It's gonna get strange.

Chapter 1: In the Beginning There Was Porn. And it Was Good.

So, here's a question for you. Does every guy dream of fucking someone else? I mean, someone who isn't their wife?

When does that thought first enter a guy's head?

Is it after years of marriage?

Is it only a few years after marriage?

On your honeymoon?

Before you even get married?

Your second date? Well, if it's on your second date then perhaps you shouldn't really be with her. That person. Whatever.

When I was younger, I thought about fucking other women. Not right away mind you. But I did. I mean, who doesn't? You're walking down the street and you see a hot woman in a tight little pair of shorts and think, "Man, I'd like to fuck the shit out of that!" But, uh, in a non-creepy way. Really.

Anyway.

What about women? Do they dream about fucking guys other than their husbands or boyfriends? Do women think about it a lot? Obviously my wife thought about it. Hell, she did it. Well, eventually she did it. But did she think about it only because I brought it up or was it because she was thinking about it on her own? OR maybe she thought that she was thinking about it on her own when in reality she was only thinking that she was thinking about it because I made her think it.

Whoa. That was a Keanau Reeves moment.

I mean, I did bring it up. With her.

How? Stories. You know what I'm talking about. When you're in the middle of some major love making and you start bringing up fantasies. Talking about what you'd like to do to the other person. Or with the other person. Or other people. Hell, whatever you want. I mean, it's your fucking fantasy.

"Mmmmm, honey, imagine that me and another guy were both sliding our big hard cocks into you at the same time. . . would you like that?"

You know that kind of stuff.

Do I remember what I said? Nope. But it got me worked up. And it definitely got Anne worked up.

That's my wife. Anne.

She's hot! I'm not just saying that because she's my wife. Well, maybe partially. No. No really she is a very attractive woman. And that definitely helps in the world of swinging. Because swinging, like the rest of reality, doesn't like ugly chicks.

Well, not without some beer. Ok, a LOT of beer.

So Anne is my wife. Me? I'm Eric. And together we're Anne and Eric! Just two young kids with a dream. To fuck.

Anyway, I started telling Anne these stories while having sex. Mind you, this was when we were first dating. Telling stories. Having fantastic 'date' sex. It was pretty fucking awesome.

At some point, for some reason, I began writing some of these stories down. Oh, I remember the reason. Because Anne got all fucking hot and bothered when she read them! I would leave her little notes that she found when she got home from work or school. She would find them, read them and get all worked up. When I would finally see her later she would attack me. Rip my clothes off and demand that I pound her into a frothing orgasmic mess.

Fun!

Well, all good things must pass. We got married.

HA!

No seriously, we did get married. But the fun didn't stop.

Honestly.

I continued to write stories that excited her. Ready to jump me and suck my cock for all she was worth. But I also started looking at that wonderful universe known as the internet.

TA DA!!! THE INTERNET!!! WOO!!

It was so pretty.

Like any normal guy, I of course surfed the web for porn.

PORN!

But I also began surfing for other people that might be interested into this whole idea of swinging. I read about swingers in Penthouse ("I never thought that these stories were true. . .") and it seemed that swingers in the 70s wore lots of polyester, snorted a lot of coke, lived in California, and placed ads in magazines that you could only buy in creepy little stores with no windows located out by the airport.

We didn't do any of those things. We live in the Midwest.

Obviously.

Otherwise the title of wouldn't make too much sense.

But, we also didn't do drugs, and we definitely didn't wear polyester. Unless we were going to a 70s party. Well, even then, probably no polyester. And, while we had been to some of those creepy little stores out by the airport. . . um, just browsing of course, we never bought any of those swinger magazines.

In fact, Anne and I never talked about swinging. I was just writing stories and getting her hot. But as I surfed the internet for porn, I found myself on sites that talked about swinging. And you know what? I thought it was pretty cool. Here were other people writing about similar things that I was writing about. Sex with other people. Sex with your wife with other people. Sex with your wife, other people and small horses.

Well, that's a different site. And a different book. Ew.

As I surfed and read, my stories got more elaborate. Different scenarios with different people. Single men. Single women. Couples. You name it, I started to write about it or talk about it. And Anne was right there with me. She got just as turned on about these scenarios as I did. It seemed that we both really liked these stories about swinging! Bring on the polyester baby!

So what did this all mean? That we were two fucking sicko perverts? Well, maybe.

But to me it really meant that we enjoyed the same things sexually. What turned me on turned her on as well. And a big part of that seemed to be trying to meet up with other people to live out some of these fantasies. To see what it was like to add others to our sex life. I mean, actually do it.

So, that's what Anne and I started focusing on. We wanted to move beyond just the stories and instead try to find another person or people to have sex with. To fuck. And, based upon all of these fantastic sites that we were looking at, these people were out there. All over the place! Lots and lots of super horny, super attractive sex starved men and women waiting for us. To fuck.

Aren't things great on the internet!

We decided to give it a shot. Anne and I decided to swing with another couple! Or swap. Or whatever you call it. We would find the right people, meet up with them for deep discussions about worldly events, and then have unbelievably fantastic sex with them. We plunged headlong into this sexual voyage and couldn't wait to start living the dream.

On to the adventures!

Yeah, sure. We just walked out the door and some hot freakin couple was standing on our doorstep saying, "Please, will you take us to bed and fuck us now?" Well, it didn't quite work that way for us. We've had our ups and downs. And sideways. Kinda like a wonkavator. With a whole lot more tits and ass.

So, basically, we pressed a fucking button and wondered where the hell we would end up.