NOTE: This is the start of a book that I wrote of our (mostly) true adventures in swinging. I hope you find at least some of our adventures humorous.
Prologue: Before We Get Started, Please Buckle Up!
So.
This is the beginning.
Of the book.
About swinging.
No not the jazz dancing kind of swinging.
The other kind of swinging.
You know.
The kind where your wife has sex with someone who isn't you? That kind of swinging. Well, I guess it could be your husband as well. Your boyfriend? Girlfriend? How about we say your spouse? Significant other? The person that you regularly bang is, um, banging someone else. Like a drum. They're banging some stranger into next week. They're fucking so hard that their teeth are chattering. The van is a rockin so don't come a knockin.
That kind of swinging.
Sorry if you didn't know that.
Did you really not know that?
I mean, come on. How many goddamn books about jazz dancing could there really be? Like six? Tops? And haven't they all been written already?
On the other hand, you really can't have enough books about sex.
Sex, sex sex!!!! Fucking. There. I typed fucking again. I hope you're not offended by the word.
Because this book is gonna use a lot of it.
Could you really be offended by foul language? I mean, the book is about SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE! YOUR WIFE SCREWING THE SHIT OUT OF ANOTHER GUY!
Sorry for shouting, but if you haven't gotten the gist of this book yet, well, then you're an idiot. Put the book down and go away. Really.
For the rest of you. . . hmmmmm. . . now where was I.
Oh yeah, we're at the beginning.
This is a story. Well, my story. Strike that. Our story. You know, of me and my wife. Our story of swinging. We've had quite a few adventures. And by adventures, I mean some really, really, REALLY weird shit.
Really.
This is my attempt to tell you about some of it.
The weird shit.