"Get that down you," Suzi said, "and tell me all about it."
Linda took a long swig of the chardonnay, and sighed. Where to begin? The trouble was she had so much going on, and none of it was really a problem, on its own. There were no real money problems to speak of. Yes, she was doing two jobs - part-time at the school, and these occasional PR events with Suzi - but that was more for her self-esteem and some pocket money; they didn't need it to keep afloat. Iain, her husband, had a well-paid job in the city as a financial software consultant for some of the bigger banks. But it did keep him away for long hours.
"I'm just... I dunno. Unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. I'm a fat frumpy mid-thirties housewife who has no real life. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I want to live a bit before I die, you know?"
"Frumpy? Fuck, Linda, you've got a great body that men drool over. I see them! Sure, you've had a couple of kids but you keep trim; and besides, having those kids is what gave you those tits and hips! Look at me, I'm a fucking flat-arsed beanpole!"
"Flat?" Linda laughed. "What the fuck are those then?" she said, gesturing to Suzi's rather generous chest.
"Ha! Richard's Christmas presents to himself. Although I admit 'the girls' do help with the PR gigs. Much as we hate it, you have to admit - sex sells. But this isn't about me, this is your night. I don't get it. You've got it all - a great job, a comfortable life, a loving family. It's all a bit first-world-problems, isn't it?"
"Maybe. It's just the combination of things, getting on top of me."
"Speaking of which," Suzi smirked, "how is Iain?"
Linda slapped her with the cocktail menu, playfully, and chucked. "Oh, same old. Men." She rolled her eyes. "Babe, I wish he'd just hug me and be there with me without trying to, you know." The last thing Linda wanted after a long, exhausting day was to be mauled by her husband. She just wanted to curl up, feel safe, and get what sleep she could before the next day rolled around. Besides, on those rare days she felt any desire at all, she was usually horny in the mornings... when Iain would have already left for work, and the boys were waking up.
"But everything's, like, okay between you?" Suzi prompted.
"I think so," Linda replied. Truth was, she wasn't sure. They were friendly enough, but they rarely talked - there just wasn't the time, what with Iain's long hours at work, the kids' clubs, visiting friends and family at the weekends. Linda knew that Iain tried hard to help around the house, but he was only around for a limited amount of time; and frankly sometime Linda could and did do a better job of it herself. And not just the housework.
"Sounds like you need a break - as a couple," Suzi said. "Get away for a spa weekend, or something."
"As if we could afford that! We don't quite live the high life like you and Richard. And besides, what about the boys? They aren't old enough to be left on their own yet."
"Can't you dump them on your parents for the weekend? Surely that's what grandparents are for." Suzi knocked back the last of her glass, and rose to go get them another bottle. "You can come to our place. We've got loads of room; we can hang round by the pool and just do a load of nothing all weekend - in grown-up company without having to be Mummy. It'll be good for you!"
"Hmmm, maybe..." Linda replied. It did sound nice, and she'd wanted to get up to Suzi's place for ages for a nose around. She'd made it sound like a castle out there on the cliffs behind the wood. They could go trekking perhaps and catch the views. And as long as they didn't talk incessantly about the kids - a tendency on date nights with Iain - maybe they could relax and reconnect, and find themselves again. Maybe get back to how they were, before everything got so stressful. "Yeah, why not. Are you sure Richard won't mind?"
Suzi smiled. "I know Richard. He'd love to see you."
///
Iain didn't resent the time alone, exactly. He realised that his wife worked so hard and bore the brunt of the work at home, he could hardly begrudge her some time out with her friends. And it gave him time on his own, once the kids were asleep, to do whatever he wanted,
The trouble was, he didn't know what that was. Which meant that he ended up scrolling endlessly through social media, looking at how much better everyone else's life was. The more he scrolled, the worse he felt. And as he scrolled, he'd start glossing over real-world stuff and start noticing the fantasy stuff. Reality TV stars in shock expose pieces. Hot young girl bands using their sex appeal to shift records. And from there, soft-core galleries were just a clickbait link away... Until he'd find himself browsing porn sites for free videos.
Iain had always had a higher sex drive than Linda, but in the last few years her interest had dropped off completely. Iain couldn't work out what he'd done. His love - his desire - for her had grown, not diminished, over the years. Did she not love him anymore? Getting rejected, night after night, was taking its toll on his psyche. Whatever happened to the teenager that gave him a blowjob in the back of the car while her parents were driving them back from the lake? The girlfriend who dragged him into the back alleys on their way home from school, wearing a short loose skirt so they could have a quick fuck against the fence before getting home before anyone noticed they were missing? The woman who'd screamed in pleasure with her hands lashed to the bedposts with cable ties he'd brought back from work? The fiancΓ©e who woke him by taking him in her mouth, then rode him slowly as dawn broke over the ocean and bathed their hotel room with warm light?
Lost in memories, eyes glazed and brain numbed from watching fake sex, release finally came - and with it guilt, and more despair. Something had to change. But how?