My thanks to my editor
adetaildiva
. Without her this would be a poorer story. After her any errors are mine.
*
Dan and I were out on the golf course in Tennessee one gorgeous September Saturday. "Jack, how much do you exercise? You're always so trim. Even when I was your age, I don't think I was that trim."
"Well, I run for an hour six days a week and I lift weights twice or three times a week, depending. Why do you ask?"
"I just had my annual physical and the doctor is on me to get more exercise and lose some of this." Dan grabbed a roll of fat on his side. Kathy had always described him as heavyset, but I was sure he could lose 25 or 30 pounds and not miss an ounce.
"You need to talk to Linda about not being such a great cook, but I can help you get started on an easy exercise plan. We can start with walking and go from there."
"Would you, Jack? I'd really appreciate it."
Unfortunately, I should have started with Dan a year ago. I came home one afternoon in October to a very grave Faith. "Jack, Dan had a heart attack and died. Maybe you should call your sister-in-law."
I was stricken again. Over the last eighteen months Dan had become a very good friend. But I really felt sorry for Linda: first to lose her older daughter and now her husband of thirty years, all within five months.
Dan's funeral was hard. The grass on Kathy's grave had not grown in completely and now there was another bare patch beside it. Bobby and I stayed for three more days. This time it was me packing Dan's clothes, making lists and delivering boxes.
"Jack, I'd like to come down and visit." Thanksgiving weekend Linda was calling. I had called weekly after Dan's funeral, but had not asked her to come back down yet.
"Sure, Linda, Bobby and I would love to see you again." She came down for two nights that week and again just before Christmas to bring Bobby his presents. Two more visits were scheduled in January.
At the beginning of February, I learned that I was being reassigned to the Pentagon. I told Faith and Linda that Bobby and I would be moving in June.
"Jack, I've got a suggestion." Faith and I were having dinner after a visit from Linda in March.
"Okay?"
"Linda is lonely and doesn't know what to do. She's afraid that you'll go to Washington and she'll never see Bobby again."
"That's crazy! Bobby loves her. I love her almost like my own mother."
"Ask her to move to Washington with you and be your live-in nanny and housekeeper."
I had been worried about finding a nanny like Faith in Washington. This would be a great solution. "Do you think she would do it? It would make Bobby feel better to have somebody he knows living with us and taking care of him."
I called Kathy's sister, Marguerite, and talked with her. She lived in Chattanooga with her husband of two years. She thought it would great for Linda to have something to do. We agreed to help her store her furniture and rent out the house if she wanted to.
"Linda, this is Jack." My mother had drilled me on phone manners. Even though I knew Linda would recognize my voice, I always introduced myself on our weekly phone calls. We talked about the ordinary events of the week: Bobby's pre-school work, Linda's book club.
"Linda, I'm really going to miss Faith. I don't know that I'll find anyone in Washington who can help me like she has."
"I'll miss seeing her, too. Of course, I'll miss seeing you and Bobby more."
"Linda, I'll just ask you straight out. Would you consider coming to Washington with us? I'd pay you just like I do Faith and Bobby would love to have you around."
"Jack, I'd love to! But what would I do with the house?"
"Marguerite and I discussed that. She thinks you could put your stuff in storage and rent it out for a few years. Of course, you would want to take some of your things to Washington."
"Oh, Jack, this will be so great! But I couldn't take any money from you. I'd just like to be there with Bobby, and you and I get along so well."
"Linda, I know that Dan left your finances in good shape. Paying you would just be recognition of what you do for us. I know it'd be like pin money to you but I'd feel wrong if you didn't take something. I'd also set you up with a joint account with me so you could have money for grocery shopping and everything."
"I was so afraid that you'd go off and I'd only see Bobby a time or two a year."
"Linda, no matter what, we won't keep you out of our lives." I could tell she was crying a little bit. "Why don't we schedule a house hunting trip sometime soon?"
By the first of May, Linda was living with me in Columbus. She had stored away most of her household goods, except for her bedroom furniture and several boxes of knickknacks, photo albums and some kitchen utensils. Those items were waiting in a container in Chattanooga for our trip to DC. She had already gotten a renter who would move into her house in June.
My house in Columbus did not have a renter yet. I felt sure that as soon as a new crop of lieutenants started arriving at Fort Benning around the first of July that I would have a renter. It was the perfect size for a young couple like Kathy and I had been.
Linda, Bobby and I moved the week after Memorial Day. We moved to a new house in a young subdivision in Northern Virginia. I would have about a half-hour's drive to the Pentagon. Bobby would only be a mile from his school in September. Linda began meeting the neighbors and fitted in immediately.
The third week in August I took Bobby to his first day of school. He was excited to be in a "real" school instead of the day care center where he had had kindergarten. I managed to deliver him to his room and say hello to his teacher. I barely made it out to my car before I broke down crying. I was crying because Kathy wasn't there to do this. Bobby would never see his mother's eyes glisten as she buttoned up his coat or packed his lunch.
The week after Labor Day Bobby brought home a note about Parent-Teacher Night at his school. I dutifully showed up the next week. I vaguely remembered meeting Nan Baker the first day of school. She was looking for me when I came in.
"Hello. I'm Bobby Williams's father, Jack Williams."
"Yes. I remember meeting you when you brought Bobby in. Are you new in the area?"
"We just moved up from Columbus, Georgia. I'm stationed at the Pentagon."
"Wow! I'm impressed."
"Don't be. They use majors at the Pentagon for coffee boys. I get to make coffee for Training and Readiness."
"You'll have to tell me more about that some time." She put her hand on my forearm below the short sleeve of my uniform blouse. Her violet eyes were looking directly into my eyes without blinking.
"Maybe we can catch a cup of coffee together later. I won't even make you fix it." Her eyes were laughing at me now.
"I dunno. I've gotten pretty good with the grinder. You don't know what you're missing." I felt relaxed in a woman's presence for the first time since Kathy died.
"I've got a good idea of what I'm missing." Her eyes scanned my body from top to bottom. I had a sudden impression of a stalking lioness as her golden mane flipped around her head.
"Good evening, everyone. I'm Nan Baker. I apologize for the seating arrangements." She looked directly at me and winked while I squirmed in my 6-year-old's desk. "I'll make this quick and then I can talk with you individually afterwards. I'm in my third year here at Taylor. I did my internship here from Georgetown and liked it so much I bought the school."
Everybody chuckled. "They liked me so I applied and was accepted. Last year I taught third grade but the year before I taught first."
Her words faded into the background as I appraised her body. A line from the musical,
South Pacific
, popped into my head:
Where she's narrow she's narrow as an arrow,
And she's broad where a broad should be broad.
"… so I think that we'll have a good year." As I returned from Pluto, she was smiling at me again.
I had been out of the game for awhile, but Nan had been flirting. I was comfortable with Nan, but I still felt guilty when I thought of leaving Kathy behind.
"Jack, I'd like you to meet someone." Linda was speaking to me the following weekend after church. "Jean, this is my son-in-law, Jack Williams. As I told you he's a major serving at the Pentagon. Jack, this is Jean Marlowe. Jean works for Health and Human Services as a policy analyst."
"Jean, I'm glad to meet you." Linda was slowly introducing me to all the single women at the Episcopal church where she had insisted we go. This was the fourth or fifth one. Jean was slim and tall with a terrific smile. I still didn't feel ready to start dating again. Nevertheless, as a dutiful son (in-law) I made small talk.
I learned that Jean had a six-year-old daughter. I looked around and Jean pointed out Rebecca as the brown-haired girl that Bobby happened to be chasing around the parish hall.
"Like father, like son," was the lame jest I came up with.
We continued to talk politely, but I was leery of Federal employees. I felt they were usually liberals, especially those whom I had met so far in the DC area. Suddenly Jean cut through the polite banter.
"You know, my dad served in Vietnam."
"Really?" This had come out of nowhere so I wasn't sure where the conversation was going.
"In the Marines. He always thought the Pentagon, Johnson and Nixon screwed things up. But he really hated the protestors. He's glad we haven't seen many of them this time around."
