Ch. 05: Running Away

This is a rewrite of a previously published work. There is new content within, but most of the story beats are fundamentally the same, though some of the characterization and scenes have been changed in what I consider to be important ways.

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"Emilia."

Queen Meryl smiled brightly at the short servant who walked up. Lady Carmella was a head or so taller than I was. The queen was a hand or so shorter. This woman was almost a head shorter than I was, with dark brown skin, pink eyes that seemed to consume the whites, and blood-red hair. She was gorgeous in a way that boggled the mind. Somehow otherworldly but familiar. She curtsied to the queen, to the First Knight, and to me. I frowned.

"Yes, my queen?" She asked. The maid had her attention mostly directed towards Queen Meryl and First Knight Lady Carmella, but I thought I could see her studying me from the corner of her eye. I couldn't be sure, though. Her large, pink irises made it a little harder to discern.

"Johann, this is Head Maid Emilia Mia'Valur. She'll be attending you until you're comfortable here." The queen turned her attention to the First Maid. "Emilia, please show him to his room. He needs to freshen up before dinner. Lady Carmella, you'll be there?" The First Knight nodded her ascent.

"That's not really necessary," I protested, but Queen Meryl brushed off all of my concerns with a wave of her hand.

"Nonsense." Then she seemed to think twice about what she was saying. Some part of me hoped that the woman was going to come to her senses and dismiss me. Let me go back to Sofen, where this could become an urban legend that no one believed actually happened, not even me. But this small hope was quickly dashed when a positively devilish smirk spread across her face. "Unless... you were planning on staying in my bed." She paused for a moment, daring me to say anything. "No... That would be awfully forward of you."

For the first time in a while, my mouth didn't act faster than I could think. So, I did not point out that we'd already shared a bed. Spreading a rumor like that, even a true rumor, might be a step too far. Even for these people. Instead, I cleared my throat and murmured, "A-a room would be fine."

"Good," she replied with what looked like a small frown, before turning back to the maid. "Emilia, if you would."

"Yes, Queen Meryl." She turned to me and motioned for me to follow, one hand toying with her black dress, maybe unconsciously. "This way, sir."

We walked for what seemed like forever, relatively speaking. The castle was huge in a way that my brain, so used to my strange one and a half stories, couldn't comprehend. A few times, when she thought I wasn't paying attention, I caught her looking at me, as if trying to puzzle out a riddle that didn't quite make sense to her yet. I didn't let myself dwell on that. Instead, I tried to focus all of my efforts on something I could say to either the First Knight or to Queen Meryl that would convince them to let me leave. A pit in my stomach grew as more doubt flooded into me. I couldn't even convince Morgana... Meryl... Queen Meryl, I corrected myself, to have someone else make a damned sword.

We got to the room and this was another thing I didn't quite know how to deal with. The room was larger than my house back in Sofen. The bed was almost as large as the entire first floor of my place. Five people could pile onto that thing and barely scrape elbows! Who could possibly need that much room? I asked myself, trying to ignore the obvious implications of the queen's words. It was also plush and had a finely polished wood frame. I tried not to remember that the queen had complained about my bed, while contrasting the two. And failed miserably. The rest of the room had a rich, red carpet, to cover the cold, white marble floors. I stood in the threshold of the room, almost unwilling to sully it with my presence. The maid, Emilia, had no such reservations and stepped into the room, waiting expectantly. "Well, Master Johann, here we are, your new apartment."

"M-master?" My voice was caught somewhere between a stammer and a grimace. "Miss Emilia, p-please. I'm not a master of anything. Just a blacksmith." I stumbled through my words, speeding up as I went along. "Not even a master of that. Only a few years out of my apprenticeship." The woman watched me for a long moment, a satisfied smirk spreading across her face, before sauntering over to a door in the room. There was something almost... predatory in her expression.

"Whatever you say, Master Johann." She emphasized the title and I groaned. Is every woman I meet here going to be like this? I walked after her. "This is the washroom. You can make yourself a little more presentable there. I'll be out here if you need me."

"Miss Emilia," I began but before I could find the words to continue, she interrupted me.

"Yes, Master?" She beamed up at me and I sighed.

"Please, j-just Johann," I pleaded. "Do you... How serious are the queen and Lady Carmella about this... any of this?" I asked in a confiding tone, taking a step forward. Emilia considered for a moment, her lips pouting as she did.

"Well, Queen Meryl sent her most trusted warrior and closest confidant all the way out to the backwaters of the continent to retrieve you," she replied, tilting her head. That same expression of someone trying to figure out a puzzle painted her features. "So, I would imagine she's relatively certain of her position."

"I was afraid of that," was all I could manage to say before wandering into the washroom. I trimmed my beard to something approximating civil. I was already clean, thanks to that magic stone Lady Carmella had made me use. And I was already in my finest clothes. Not that they're suitable for dinner with a queen. Hells, they're not even good enough to be in her presence. Not that she'd minded back then. I splashed some water from the basin on my face and looked at myself in the mirror for several long moments. What should I do? I asked myself. My reflection didn't have any clever ideas.

Head Maid Emilia guided me to what I was told was the 'private dining room'. It was the size of the entire tavern back home. There was a table in the middle of the room longer than any bar I'd seen. And it could easily seat ten or twenty people. But at the moment, there weren't that many there. There were a handful of servants, and Emilia practically danced over to one and they began conversing too quietly for me to catch anything. Outside of the servants, the only people in the room were Queen Meryl and First Knight Lady Carmella.

I didn't recognize Lady Carmella at first and had to do a double take. She was out of her armor, opting now for a deep blue dress. I gawked, unable to stop myself. I'd known she was attractive, with statuesque features, pouty lips and a strength and presence unmatched by anyone I'd ever seen before. But at that moment, she looked so... different. She also wore eyeliner, which made her hawk's eyes even more piercing. Her lips were also made up in a soft red, just enough to draw the eye to them when she spoke.

At the same time, she was still every part the warrior she was in her armor, and that image of her was only reinforced by the fact that her sword was leaned against her chair. Her bare arms were larger than mine. Stronger, more defined than a decade in a forge had managed for me. But her body was also graceful, perfectly sculpted. She didn't have much in the way of a bust, but obviously feminine. Strong and imposing, but also curved and shapely. And her collarbone was almost entirely exposed. It seemed scandalous. Especially for someone I'd never seen in anything more revealing than plate mail before. I swallowed, trying to find the strength to look away. She was saying something I couldn't make out to the queen when she looked up at me, took me in, and gave a curt, approving nod.

Queen Meryl smiled up at me from her seat as I stood on the threshold, frozen. Where the First Knight's makeup was a subtle enhancement of her features, the queen's was more a transformation, a painting brought to life with what she'd done. Thinking back to her time at my forge... and in my house, she'd always been made up, but she was a vision of perfection right now, with eye shadow and eye liner, making her eyes look larger and more attentive. Her lips were a deep ruby red and made her smile seem more than an expression of joy. She had changed dresses as well, wearing something much more revealing than the dress she'd had on in the courtroom. Her collarbone was also visible, but my eyes were drawn down a little more. Her chest was fully on display, the dress seeming to defy physics as it clung to her. What Lady Carmella lacked, the queen had an abundance of. And she was apparently very willing to put it all on display. I tried to swallow again, but my mouth had gone completely dry and I ended up choking a little.

The queen reached over and gripped her knight's hand and squeezed tightly, familiarly. I still didn't quite understand what their relationship was. Then again, I could fill that book peddler's stand with more volumes than he had ever owned with what I didn't understand about this situation. I was brought out of my gaping as the queen of the land spoke, "Johann, are you going to join us? Or are you more comfortable over there?"

"Uh..." I started eloquently. I wanted to say, 'I am actually more comfortable in the doorway', but I thought better of it. I took my first step forward and found my legs did support my weight still, despite how light headed I felt. Which was a pleasant surprise. I closed the distance to the table, opting to sit at the far end, away from those two and bowed, "Sorry, my... uh... queen. I just... don't quite know what I'm doing here."

Queen Meryl giggled musically. The First Knight snorted and rolled her eyes. And I think the head maid was also snickering behind her hand. The queen brought my attention back to her by putting her hand to her chest and addressing her knight, "Did you hear that, Carmie? Isn't it cute how hard he's trying?" She turned back to me and beckoned me closer. "Come now, dear Johann. We need you closer than that."

That invitation made my heart skip. We need you closer. Something about those words stuck out in my head. I glanced over to First Knight Lady Carmella for confirmation and she was also watching me but I couldn't glean any insight from her expression. Sighing, I did as I was bidden but before I'd managed to get to the head of the table, First Maid Emilia had beaten me there and pulled out my chair. Gods, she's fast. I thanked her and sat down, eyes downcast. I didn't really know where to look.

Fortunately, food was served almost immediately after I sat down which gave me something to do. I did notice that the First Maid hadn't returned to her spot on the wall and instead opted to stand between the queen and I. I frowned. It was awkward having someone hover like that. I started to offer her my seat, but when I met her eye, I noticed a playful glint she seemed to be wearing as she observed us, so I just let it drop and tried to ignore it.

I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell of food hit my nostrils. There was a lot of it and it came in courses. As it was placed in front of me, I started to reach out to some silverware and froze. The first course was a salad and there were several pieces of silverware, quite a few of which would've been acceptable at any table to use, but I was dining with the Queen of Bayfield and her First Knight. I glanced around the room. Neither queen nor the knight had moved. Emilia was watching me out of the corner of her eye. I recognized all of the pieces, having made hundreds of them in my time.

For the first time, I realized that I'd never questioned why the set was constructed the way it was. With extra pieces with subtle differences. And I didn't know which was used for what and why. James hadn't bothered teaching me what they were for. Just how to make them. I frowned and glanced up at the women who all seemed to be waiting for something. I gave up on trying to deduce which was for what and chose one of the forks and went about eating. Emilia kindly corrected me on my choice and the other two laughed softly.

The women mostly caught up during the first course and I tried to let myself sink into the background as they spoke; even Emilia joined in. Is that normal for a maid? I asked myself. I'd never been around any servants. The closest I got was the barmaids down at the tavern. She seems so... familiar. I guess she lives here with them...

I decided to focus on dinner, instead. The salad was delicious, with a dressing I couldn't place. And it only doubled my hunger, as for the last month, I'd been surviving on travel rations and small game. Not that Carmella was all that helpful with that. I'd at least had to go hunting a time or two in the woods. As it was being cleaned up and carted away, Queen Meryl addressed me.

"So, Johann, dearest," she seemed to take pleasure in my uncomfortable shift at her words, "what do you think of our First Knight, here?" I glanced between the two of them. The queen was wearing a look of casual interest as she sipped some wine. I couldn't read Lady Carmella's expression at all`. She'd adopted the most stoic, neutral expression I'd ever seen. Which is impressive, since I thought her default was emotionless.

"She... um... She's very capable," I hedged. Silence fell over the table. Both women took a sip of wine, seeming to refuse to break in and save me, as the next course was served. After another moment or two, I stumbled over myself to fill it. "I mean. She's incredible. Like a hero from legends. I didn't know anyone could wield a sword like that and..." I paused again. I didn't know why, but I got the inkling that this wasn't what either wanted to hear. And it wasn't really what I wanted to say. "She's..." I addressed her directly. "You're smart, and kind, a-and pr-pretty. Gorgeous, even. And absolutely the most terrifying woman I've ever met."

"It appears I have some catching up to do," Queen Meryl replied, a musical lilt coloring her tone, as she cut into the roast beef we'd been served. I let out a sigh of relief and got to cutting my own. Despite how hungry I was, I tried to subtly steal some under the table and into a pouch I'd kept on me. I can't stay here, I thought. I don't belong with these people. And I don't understand what strange game they're playing. For a brief moment, I let myself try to imagine what my life might look like here. But I quickly quashed it. Better to cut ties immediately.

"Johann," the First Knight spoke, cutting me out of my musings. Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. "Let us not forget about our dearest queen, here. What are your thoughts on Morgana-" she cut herself off, a twitch of her lip letting me know she was teasing the queen, just as she had me. This was confirmed by the color that crawled into the queen's pale face. "Sorry, Queen Meryl?"

I met her gaze and froze, mind rushing to a thousand different implications to the question. Slowly, after a few breaths and a thousand heartbeats, I glanced over to the queen, who was sipping her wine in an almost perfect picture of nonchalance. Almost. Her pose was perfect, but I noticed that her wine wasn't draining at all and her eyes betrayed her, not to mention the blush that hadn't quite faded. She met my gaze and something told me she was very eager for an answer. I swallowed. "M-my quee-... The Queen of Bayfield i-is a fair ruler. Everyone knows of h-her kindness."

"Blacksmith," the First Knight broke in, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice. "We've discussed this. Cowardice does not become you. Strike true and answer honestly."

"What am I supposed to say!?" I demanded, my exasperation bringing some heat to my tone. I knew that wouldn't get me out of anything. I'd learned from sparring with her that running away when she'd set her mind on something wasn't a solution. It only delays the inevitable, and makes said inevitable even worse. I sighed, then murmured, "S-she's very beautiful... And demanding. A-as is her right as the queen. But I don't know what I'm doing here. This is insane."

"Carmella," the queen cut in, a wide grin spreading across her face, her blush only having gotten worse. "He thinks I'm beautiful."

"Of course he does," the knight responded, almost absently, before putting her hand over the queen's. "Because you are."

The next course came too quickly. In part because I was having a little fun. They were all adorable together. The First Knight, who I was convinced didn't have a sense of humor, joked around and poked fun at the queen. Surprisingly, even Head Maid Emilia got in on the fun. I didn't talk a lot, because I didn't want to interrupt them. Queen Meryl, for her part, took everything with good natured humor. But some part of me felt like I was intruding on them. These people knew each other in a way I could never hope to. Another, much smaller, part of me countered, You could. If they let you. If you let them.

After dinner, I got back to the room they'd given me and decided to take a bath. The head maid offered to help me bathe but I insisted on being left alone. She accepted, but still had that same puzzled look on her face. I needed to come up with a plan. Something to allow me to escape. No one would recognize me, yet, right? I can just walk away. Right? I didn't have a better plan. After my bath, I dressed in my normal, everyday clothes; the only thing missing was my heavy blacksmith's apron, which would have looked as out of place as I felt in this extravagant room.

Sitting on top of a large trunk was one of the swords and a dagger that I'd made. The same ones Lady Carmella had insisted I know how to hold, how to use. I hesitated, looking at them. Their familiar weight absent from my side was actually strange at this point. I have been wearing them for a month now, I reflected. Lady Carmella had made me. No matter how much I protested, she'd insist. Her words echoed through my head, And what will you do if someone attacks us? Kindly ask them to wait while you dig them out of your bag? She'd said that the first night I refused to spar with her. I hadn't had a response. Memories of the bandit attack the First Knight and I had experienced coming unbidden. The blood and the fear. I swallowed. But I might need them. I strapped them then I started to leave, unconsciously checking that they could clear their scabbards with ease.

I stalked out of the castle slowly. Whenever I heard a sound I would stop, holding my breath until I was sure whoever or whatever was going by had passed. I somehow managed to not encounter anyone until I was out on the grounds. I was stopped briefly by the guards who checked my bags and let me go without any concern.

As I made my way through into the city proper, I glanced back at the castle. Several rooms were still glowing merrily in the darkness. My mind shifted to the queen. She must be getting ready for bed. Same with the First Knight. And that maid, Emilia. Indecision spread out in my stomach. I hated anything unfinished. Whether it be a smithing project or a book. But I pushed the feeling down. Best just cut it here. Anything more and I'll not have the willpower to walk away.

The sounds of drinking and carousing spilled out of some of the inns I passed. After a month of travel and who knows how long ahead of me, a desire for a real bed had me feeling for my coin purse. But I stopped myself. I don't know how long it'll take me to get back home without a horse. Another voice in my head pointed out, Stopping in the city's a dumb idea anyway. Who knows if the queen has lookouts or people who'd report back to her. I stopped near a fountain, following that line of reasoning. How did she know about the daggers anyway? She must've been watching me. But how? I silently asked the statue of a beautiful, somehow familiar woman who overlooked the waters.