Chapter 45 Whats Worse Than Death

I hadn't been able to resist Carla. The woman was the product of good genes and some of humanity's finest work in cosmetic surgery. Leaning over the table we ate at to give me a beautiful look down that expensive dress, I could almost see her navel. I might have been able to if it hadn't been for the fact that her eyes weren't so damn beautiful, made even more so by the way she'd perfectly applied just enough makeup to emphasize her already naturally beautiful assets. I was horny, mad at the world, and this succubus had taken full advantage of my vulnerable state.

Insisting on checking Carla's hotel room first didn't kill the mood in the slightest. The pair of us waited just inside the door, and the bottle blonde took full advantage as we waited for Chloe to give us the all-clear. Her fingers grazed my chest, toying with the buttons of my shirt as she nestled her lips into my neck.

As the soon-to-be ex-wife of Hiro Tanaka gassed me up, I watched Chloe walking around the room, checking under pillows, opening doors, and more, watching the bottoms of her ass cheeks peek from under the jacket she wore. Normally, I would have felt a little bad for checking out another woman while sexually engaged with someone, but that wasn't what this was. Carla didn't mean anything to me... especially after contributing to the complications I now faced. She was a means to an end... a reward for a job well done. A corrupted reward, but one I would enjoy all the same. I had no feelings for Carla Tanaka, and I was convinced the feeling was mutual. Fucking me was probably nothing more than some twisted game she was playing with her old husband.

Chloe eventually left, giving me a nod that meant everything was fine and a look that I simply couldn't read. Then she was gone, and I was left to Carla's whims.

Carla immediately led me over to the bed, shoved me on it, and crawled between my legs to unbuckle my belt and skin my pants off. She appeared pleasantly surprised by my cock, staring at it in utter fascination for so long that it started to get uncomfortable. Then, without warning, she inhaled the entire thing, deep-throating it on the second try.

To say Carla was a good cocksucker was an understatement. Carla could do things with her mouth I didn't know were possible. With my dick buried in her throat, she somehow managed to work the muscles surrounding my shaft, massaging it as if she had it in her hand. Then she set to work moving her head up and down my member, making choking sounds that didn't slow her down in the slightest.

"I'm going to hell," I groaned.

Warm, wet lips slid up my saliva-slickened shaft as Carla Tanaka pulled them off the head of my prick, sucking down a lungful of oxygen as she looked up at me with ruined makeup, framing eyes that simply radiated sex.

"You'll be in good company then," she gasped, her lips and chin coated in fluids as she smiled. "That's where my mother always told me I was going."

"Your mom?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about my mom," she panted as she stood up. "Take your shirt off."

Without waiting for my response, Carla reached for the hem of her dress, drew it over her head, and tossed it aside. In one fluid motion, she'd gone from dressed for a night out on the town to standing there in nothing but gold high heels, earrings, and a necklace.

"Holy shit!" I suddenly forgot how to undress myself as I stared back at the creature standing before me. I knew Carla was stunning, but this was next level. I'd seen some gorgeous women in the last few weeks--Danielle belonged on a dirty calendar, the Starlight girls were all incredible, Erin was a walking wet dream, Helen was stunning, and Tara was about as close to feminine perfection as I'd ever seen... not to mention all the other women I'd slept with. All of them were way out of my league.

Carla was different. I knew she had a body built for sin, but I hadn't been prepared for how right I was. Her skin was flawlessly sunkissed. Her hips flared appealingly with gentle tan lines that showed she got just enough sun to give her peachy complexion a subtle, golden glow. She was entirely shaved between her legs, and the outer lips of her pussy were pleasingly plump. Her skin positively shined with health.

The high heels she wore sculpted her calves, thighs, and ass into perfect works of art--long, sleek, and with just enough muscle to be incredibly appealing while maintaining their femininity. It was the same for every square inch of her, really. Her arms, shoulders, abdomen, back... all were fit and tight.

Her golden complexion was complemented by her light blonde hair, cascading down one shoulder in large, soft curls. The slightly darker shading near the roots of her hair only emphasized the blonde, making it more appealing.

She stared down at me with a bright, shining smile that radiated confidence; her hands rested on her hips, and her chest was thrust out, putting emphasis on what was probably one of her best features--her breasts. They had to be double D's, but they stood high and firm like Erin's, suggesting their artificiality. Unlike other breasts with implants, though, I couldn't see any signs of scarring or even the dimpling that implants often left as they fought to stay perky. It didn't take a degree in physics to know there was no way tits that big could defy gravity so successfully without human intervention, but that was literally the only way of knowing she wasn't completely natural.

Like Tara, her body had been sculpted to perfection, evidence that she spent all her time making sure to stay in peak condition to continue being worthy in her role as a trophy wife. Only, Carla had taken it a step further and had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to remove the slightest imperfection to the point where she seemed celestial. An angel stood before me.

I knew that comparison only went as far as looks, though. For better or worse, there was nothing angelic about Carla Tanaka's personality.

"Holy shit," I breathed.

"You like?" Carla asked.

"Fuck," was all I could manage.

She grinned, more than a bit of arrogance in her smile as she said, "I'll take that as a yes."

Approaching the bed, she placed one knee to my left, then the other on my right side so she could straddle me. Reaching down with her perfectly maintained fingers, she grabbed my shirt just above where it was still buttoned and yanked hard enough to send a few of them flying as she opened my shirt the rest of the way, exposing my chest.

"Mmm..." she moaned, her eyes heavily lidded as she stared down at me and raked her fingernails down my torso. "Oh my god, I need this."

"How long's it been?" I asked.

"Too long," she moaned as she wrapped her fingers around my thick member. She placed the mushroom head against her thick pussy lips and lodged it between them. "He can't get it up anymore... not without meds."

"Fuck," I moaned. Talking about Hiro's flaccid seventy-year-old cock should have been a turn-off for me, but when an angel like Carla was holding my shaft in her hand, poised to fuck me as she told me how inadequate my enemy was... it was an aphrodisiac all on its own. I was rock hard as she hovered over me with the tip halfway embedded in her.

Carla waited about a beat, locking gazes with me just long enough to tell me with a look that she was about to fuck the ever-living shit out of me. And then she dropped her hips, and my dick disappeared inside her soaked pussy.

We both cried out simultaneously as she bottomed out on me; my cry was one long "FUUUUUUUUUCK," while hers was a wordless, guttural scream of primal pleasure. I was barely aware of her fingernails digging into my chest as she began grinding her crotch into mine.

And then we were off to the races.

"Fuck you, Hiro!" Carla bellowed as she bounced up and down on my cock, her tits bouncing with every thrust. "Fuck you and your wrinkled worm dick, you controlling cock-sucker!"

Apparently, we were both using each other.

"Fuck, yes!" I growled through gritted teeth, gripping her hips and fucking back into her every time she dropped back down on me. She cried out again as my cock slammed in and out of her. Once it was clear we were both on the same page, I stopped caring. We both hated Hiro Tanaka, and our fornication was just as much an act of defiance as it was a way to satiate our lust for each other.

"I fucking hope you die alone, you dried up old prune--AAGGHH!" I could feel her begin to vibrate under my grasp as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Fuck, that was fast!

"GGGGAAUGHH!" She screamed and slammed a fist into my arm as she collapsed on top of me, still violently throwing her hips against mine as she rode out her first orgasm. Her high-pitched whine next to my ear caused my eardrum to burst in itchy pain, and I had to turn my head away to keep her from doing real damage as she let out another prolonged squeal.

I didn't need to, though; her screeching was cut off as she planted her mouth on my shoulder and sunk her teeth into my flesh. Hard. I mean, really hard.

"Augh!" I yelled and thrust much harder at her hips as I reached up and gripped her hair at the back of her head. I began pulling, and it took three attempts to yank hard enough for her to finally tear her teeth off my skin. I didn't see blood, which surprised me a little.

"God," Carla growled, "It's been so long since I've been fucked by a real man, and this is the best you've got?"

My world suddenly exploded in a sea of stars as she slapped me across the face, followed by her lips crashing into mine as she shoved her tongue down my throat.

I was already pissed, and the assault put me over the edge. Wrapping an arm around her neck to keep our lips engaged, I rolled us over so I was on top and began to brutally fuck Hiro Tanaka's wife--not ex-wife. They weren't divorced yet. I was fucking Hiro Tanaka's wife. Why the fuck not? He tried to fuck me, after all.

I felt Carla's tongue slip back into her mouth as she broke the kiss. She glared at me through streaks of ruined makeup as our noses and lips brushed each other and growled, "That's it. Fucking take it, Marcus. TAKE IT!"

Reciprocating her abuse, I wrenched her head aside and clamped my lips and teeth on the side of her neck, sucking on her tender flesh as I sank my teeth in. I felt her slap the side of my head, and I reached up, fumbled for her wrist, and slammed it into the mattress while still slamming my cock in and out of her drenched cunt.

She screamed again and beat the side of her head against mine. I ignored both, marking her so well that it would take a hell of a lot of makeup to cover up what I was doing to her. This felt good... it was like fucking Bobbi, but different. We danced together... a dance of defiance, lust, and outrage. We were in bed together in a metaphorical sense as well as a literal one. Her husband hated both of us, and we hated him in turn. We couldn't beat the shit out of him, so we beat the shit out of each other as we sated each other's primal needs.

We spent the next two and a half hours fucking the shit out of each other until we both lost count of how many times Carla came. The woman was a walking G-spot, with a prominent, thick clit that set her on fire whenever I manipulated it directly. None of our moments of reprieve were tender or caring... we were two people who wanted to keep going... to continue our depraved act of defiance, but we were simply mortal with mortal needs. Then, when half-rested, we attacked each other in different ways.

I had Carla on her stomach, a fistful of her hair pulled tight as I fucked her from behind. She tried to smother me as she flooded my face with the sweet nectar from her pussy. I pounded her ass while she fought me, making me earn it while yelling at me to fuck her harder. She sat in my lap and rode me in an animalistic fury while trying to bruise my lips with her teeth and tongue.

It was well into the small hours of the morning by the time I limped out into the hallway with my jacket in hand. I wasn't sure where Chloe had waited the entire time, but within moments, she was beside me as we slowly made our way to the elevators in complete silence.

On the way down, we exchanged glances.

"You sure that was a good idea?" Chloe asked.

I started to pull a face and immediately winced, my lips feeling like they'd been punched repeatedly.

"Might as well do the crime if I'm gonna pay for it."

Wednesday, 9:35 am

I'm taking off tomorrow and Friday to go out of town for the weekend. Let me know if you need anything before I leave.

I stared at Natalie's text message for the third time this morning, trying to decide whether to respond. She'd mentioned working over the weekend so she could take some time off near the end of the week to go on a getaway with her rich new boyfriend.

That could've been me. I could've been the rich new boyfriend if I had acted sooner. Hell... looking back on our relationship since breaking up with her old boyfriend, I'm pretty sure Natalie would have said yes if I'd broken up with Jessica and asked her out. There had been enough cues that I'd been too blind to see at the time. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, and it stung like a bitch.

My disgust at the inability to act sooner must have been evident. "Everything okay?" Erin asked, sitting on the bench seat opposite me as we rode in the SUV to Ray's funeral.

My phone vibrated in my hand as I received another notification--a text from a new number I didn't recognize.

Hi. It's Astrid. Want to hit a few rounds with me this afternoon, then perhaps get something to eat? Does 15:00 work for you?

"Yeah," I said, not wanting to hash old Natalie stuff with Erin. I waved my phone, flashing the screen at my assistant. "It's Astrid. She wants to play golf this afternoon."

"I hear golf is pretty popular in Norway," Erin said, looking out the window. "Not a fan?"

"Nah," I said. "Never really understood the appeal."

Our ride slowed considerably, and a glance from the window showed why. We were slowly passing gravestones as we traveled through the cemetery where Ray was going to be buried during a small graveside service open to only the people closest to Ray.

Apparently, he didn't have a lot of family. His very Presbyterian parents were estranged because of his lifestyle choices, and he'd been an only child. His only family consisted of his husband and in-laws; it was nice that he'd managed to find a family that accepted him. I only wish he'd been alive longer to enjoy it to an old age.

"Are you going?"

"Yeah," I said, still peering out the window. I spotted the freshly dug grave and a few people standing around it, preparing for the ten o'clock service. "With Roger, Kelly Maddox, Cartwright, Amber Bell, and now Hiro Tanaka out there, I need friends."

"It's hard to make friends if you're fucking them all," Erin said. I glanced at her, but she was still staring out the window.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Don't," Chloe said.

Both of us looked at her. "What?" Erin asked.

"You don't get to throw a bunch of tail in his face and then bust his chops when he bites," my bodyguard said, staring out the other side of the window.

"I was just kidding," Erin said.

Chloe stopped staring out the window to level a gaze at Erin. "This isn't the time."

Erin immediately closed her mouth and glanced away, looking a little abashed, and I felt the tension in the air turn up a few degrees. I felt bad for the part I played in getting Ray killed, but I hadn't known him all that well. Chloe had worked with the guy for a while, so it made sense that she would be on edge.

My assistant glanced in my direction and we shared a long look. I was trying to piece together what she had meant by that comment. Had she been jealous?

Despite my confusion, I didn't want to feed into Erin's sudden discomfort after Chloe's reprimand. I enjoyed seeing her get bullied by the other girls in fun ways, but when Erin looked genuinely upset, it felt like I'd just seen someone kick a puppy. I gave her a small smile, hoping it'd make her feel a little better. Still... I made a mental note to talk to her about that later.

Aware we were approaching the grave, I texted Astrid back. Hey. I haven't played much, so don't expect much from me, but I'll be there. Just text me where to meet you.

I decided to keep Natalie on read.

The service was a simple, non-denominational affair, with the pastor sharing Ray's virtues with the attendees, including me, with Erin and Chloe flanking me. Probably less than ten people from Dan's family were present; apparently, Ray's husband also had a small tribe. In fact, between my people and those from Hannon Security--Ray's and Chloe's security agency--there were more non-family present. Besides Dan's people and Hannon, it was me, Erin, Chloe, Shea, Natashya, and Emily.

Maintaining respect and stoicism during the funeral was important to me. After all, I felt partly to blame for Ray's death, even if I hadn't pulled the trigger. It was hard enough to look any of them in the eye when I was the reason he was dead, and paying proper respect to his memory felt like a good way of showing how much I cared. Unfortunately, my attention kept wandering to Emily and Natashya.

I hadn't spoken to either of them since Monday, and Emily hadn't exactly left us on the best of terms. As tragic as Ray's loss was, and as much as I wanted to carry that burden with me, Emily was still alive. If this taught me anything, it was that none of us were promised tomorrow, and I was going to make damn sure things weren't going to stay this way between us. Repairing our relationship dominated my attention throughout the entire service.

Once it was over, I made my way over to Ray's husband, catching him as he exchanged a few low words with the officiant. I touched him on the arm as soon as they were done, grabbing his attention. "Hey, Dan. I'm sorry we haven't met in person before today."

I felt like a heel for not talking to him sooner. Erin had coordinated with Dan's mother to make all the arrangements for the funeral while I'd been busy with the board meeting and the fallout from that. He had every reason in the world to be angry with me at his husband's funeral, but all he did was give me a tearful smile as he hugged me tight. "Thank you for everything," he sniffled. "It's a beautiful spot... a beautiful ceremony. Ray would have been honored to have all of you here."

He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "He called me, you know. That afternoon, before he died, he told me you were going to help us adopt. Mr. Upton, you made my Ray so happy. I can't thank you enough for that."

The backs of my eyes started to sting, and I looked away, blinking rapidly and trying to pull myself together. I didn't want to break down in front of the guy whose husband died, but goddamn if Dan's words tried their best to pull tears out of me. I caught Erin watching me with the sweetest smile on her face, and I returned it with a weak one of my own.

Once my feelings were back under control, I looked back at Dan. "I'm glad I could do that for him, then," I said. "I still mean it. Dan, if you still want to follow through with it, just let me know. I'll do everything in my power to help you out. You don't have to worry about the money. It'll be paid for."

Dan's face screwed up, and fresh tears started to brim at the corners of his eyes.

"I'm also happy to help out however else. Childcare... medical... education. I wish Ray could have been here with you, but I'd like to do everything in my power to make you and your family's lives as easy as possible. He seemed like a good man, and I want to honor his sacrifice."

"Thank you," Ray's husband mouthed, unable to voice the words. He pulled me in for another hug and started to openly weep. I placed a tentative hand on his back and rubbed it as I looked around at the people, most of them watching. I really didn't want an audience for this.