This story is part of an ongoing series.
The chronological order of my stories is listed in WifeWatchman's biography.
Feedback and
constructive
criticism is very much appreciated, and I encourage feedback for ideas.
This story contains graphic scenes, language and actions that might be extremely offensive to some people. These scenes, words and actions are used only for the literary purposes of this story. The author does not condone murder, racism, racial language, violence, rape or violence against women, and any depictions of any of these in this story should not be construed as acceptance of the above.
There may or may not be discussion of political issues in my stories. If you are a Snowflake that feels you need to be protected from any mention of politics, then click the Back button now, and never attempt to read any of my stories ever again. You've been warned.
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This story is submitted for the 'Hammered an Ode to Mickey Spillane' 2023 challenge. It is independent of my Iron Crowbar series.
Dedicated to my friends Dan and Julie, who are good and generous people. One of their real-life experiences was the inspiration for this story. And apologies in advance to a lot of #WhiskeyTube people for the riffs of their secret identities...
Part 1 - Prologue
The smoke from the barrel of my .38 Special curled up slowly as it mixed with the aromatic fumes from my Alec Bradley cigar. If my finances were as good as my aim, I'd be on Easy Street. Instead, I've got an office on Riverside Drive, and a nasty relationship with a string of collection agents and reporters.
That's me, Russ Ferrament. I'm a Private Eye. I pack eight slugs. Six are in my revolver, and they pack a wallop. The others are in my bourbon flask, and they pack a wallop, too. And today, I had needed both.
"Looks like you've saved us the expense of a fair trial by a jury of this loser's peers." growled Police Lieutenant Bentley Bayse as he examined the body lying face-down on the rain-soaked street, the glare of the streetlight offsetting the dull, dark gray of the sky in the late afternoon.
Bayse was a longtime veteran of the Spring Valley Police Force. He owned a bluetick hound named 'Smokey'. His advice on what bourbons to buy was always good. His advice to duck when I was about to be shot was good, too.
"Good shooting, Rogue Two." said Detective Nick Adrian. Nick was a young but promising Detective on the SVPD. His wife was very pretty, and had brains, too; she was a Ph.D. Some guys have all the luck. Me, I've got the pain. Mostly in my bad back.
"He missed. I didn't." I said.
"Lucky you." said Nick. "It's Friday the 13th, too. Must be your lucky day."
"And this bozo's unlucky day." said Lieutenant Bayse, chewing on his Alec Bradley cigar. Best. Cigars. Ever.
He finally said "All right, Kira, get Ferrament's statement and he can go. We know where to find him if we need to talk to him again." Officer Kira David, a very attractive young Police Officer with designs on the Presidency of the United States, took my statement.
"Okay, Friday, April 13th." Kira said as she wrote the date on her affidavit sheet. She noticed that I was trying to look down her blouse, distracted by her impressive chest. "Pay attention, Ferrament. Let's start from the beginning..."
Part 2 - The Client
The beginning, she said. For me, that was ten days before, on April 3rd. I was sitting in my office on Riverside Drive, seeing the lines of the sunlight coming through the slats of the blinds, given a liquid texture by the dust swirling in the air. I had a hard decision to make: should I keep watching that little insect flying lazily from beam to beam of light, or start work on my next case? Oh wait... there was no next case. My appointment calendar looked like an arctic wasteland.
And then the door opened, and in walked trouble. Brunette as usual. But this woman was anything but usual. Dames like her were the kind a man should avoid, but of course I didn't. My heart and loins were equally on fire and I took in the sight of her, the smell of her, knowing that it was wrong but feeling so right. She knew she was irresistible, and her body was making promises that my capacity for decency couldn't keep up with.
She looked to be in her thirties, but couldn't completely hide that she was in her upper 40s, if not 50 yet. Her mane of raven black hair, pulled back into a bun, was lustrous, and an unspoken invitation to wrap a man up until he was helpless in her velvet warmth. Her beautiful face was long and sallow. Her full lips were painted with bright red, glossy lipstick.
Her eyes were blue, and would have been mesmerizing except that they were lifeless pools of primordial emptiness that would suck the very soul out of a man. If Life had depended on being formed in her eyes, we wouldn't be here talking, and I wouldn't need another slug from the bourbon bottle.
Her black dress hugged her hourglass-shaped body, and any man would lose track of time admiring those curves. Her breasts were large, and appeared to be all natural. Her abdomen was taut, toned by exercise, and flared out to wide, saucy hips. The globes of her ass were magnificent, seemingly inviting ones hands to grasp and massage in the hands.
And her legs! The phrase 'legs for days' must've been written with her in mind. Her long slender thighs graduated to curvy calves, slender ankles, and exquisite feet. She was already tall at 5'10", but she wore black pumps with heels at least four inches high. Wonder Woman had nothing on this Amazon goddess.
The dame said she had a case. I thought she herself was a case, but I couldn't choose my clients, especially when she was firing up a lot more than my imagination...
"May I sit down?" she said, her voice low and husky, and like liquid, dripping with sexual promise. I had been staring, totally awestruck by her. I snapped out of it.
"Uh, yes... sure." I finally said. Then I took control of myself. "Would you like some water, or coffee?"
"Is the coffee fresh?" she asked smoothly as she sat down and crossed her legs, those perfect weapons of distraction, slightly moving her dangling foot to keep me mesmerized.
"Not really." I admitted. In fact, it was yesterday's coffee, kept in my little fridge overnight and reheated this morning. The consistency of it was more like mud, which is what my brain had become as I admired this woman's beauty. "So how can I help you, Mizzz..?"
"My name is Laura Thornwell." she said, keeping her voice low and soft, as if sharing a secret and not wanting to be overheard. "I need you to find my fiancΓ©. He disappeared a couple of days ago."
"Just two days?" I asked, too quickly. "Is he in the habit of disappearing, then coming home after sobering up?"