This story was edited by ErikThread and DaveT with my thanks and appreciation. Any errors are mine alone. Previously posted on another site.
Captain's Choice
Chapter 9 What next?
The shock was enormous. I was speechless and stood there, bewildered by what she had said. My mother? Was that even possible?
I was frozen in place for the moment and it wasn't until I felt Ardele come up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders that I regained some kind of balance.
"Please come in," Ardele said softly to the woman.
I managed to step aside and make room for her to pass by me. Ardele led her to the sofa and indicated for her to sit. I turned to look at her, trying mightily to dredge some memory of my mother from the past. I couldn't find anything at that moment. My mind was in turmoil and I was still speechless.
I walked robotically to my easy chair and sat, gaping at the woman, trying desperately to think of something to say. The only thing I could determine was that she was very nervous and unsure of herself. I wasn't any better off.
"It's been a long time," I finally mumbled.
"Almost eighteen years," she said, finding it difficult to look me in the eye.
"Why?" It was the only question that seemed to matter to me.
"I'm ashamed to tell you, Patrick. I'm ashamed of myself and what I did to you and your father. I did a horrible thing and then I ran away. It was the only thing I could think of to do."
"Dad told me you had an affair." I was beginning to gather my wits about me.
She was shaking her head. "No, not an affair. Something worse. A tawdry, sleazy one-night-stand with a stranger. I still get sick to my stomach when I think about it."
"How?"
She sighed deeply. "I don't have an excuse, Patrick. I can tell you what I did, but it isn't an excuse."
"Go ahead."
"Your father had been working hard to get the business up and running. He was working long hours and not at home very much. I was getting frustrated with it and with him. I knew it was important, but I was selfish and wanted him to spend more time with me ... and you."
"I remember that much," I said. "You were arguing about it quite a lot."
She nodded. "One night, I got a babysitter for you and went out just to have a break. I thought I was entitled to it. I went to a bar and had a few drinks. More than I should have. I let myself get picked up by a man I had only met a few minutes earlier. I went to his motel with him and ... I had sex with him.
"I knew it was wrong and the next morning I felt horrible. I had cheated on your father and he didn't deserve that. I could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I felt that way for days before it began to wear off and I put the incident in the past as a bad memory. Something I would never do again.
"Six weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant. I knew it was that man's and not your father's baby. I knew I couldn't deceive your father and have him raise another man's child. I did the only thing I could think of. I ran. I left a note telling your father that I had cheated on him with another man and I couldn't live with myself any longer and took off."
"So ... I have a half-brother or sister somewhere?" I asked.
Again, she was shaking her head slowly. "I lost the child in the second trimester. A miscarriage. I was almost grateful it happened except that it had ended a new life. I was staying with an old school friend in Calgary who had taken me in. She was a life-saver. I was borderline suicidal for a while. Eventually, I got a job at a women's clothing store in a mall and that led to getting an apartment for myself."
"I threw myself into the job and that helped fill the days. After a while, I was promoted to assistant manager, then I was made manager at a new store in a new mall. Eventually, I was noticed and offered a position at head office in Toronto. That's where I've been for the last ten years."
"Have you remarried?" I wondered. I didn't see any rings on her fingers.
"No. I haven't even had a date since I left your father."
"Who do you work for?" I asked.
"Estelle Cartier. It's an upscale women's wear chain with stores across the country in the best malls."
"What do you do there? In Toronto, I mean."
"I became the head buyer after serving with the previous buyer for four years. But I'm retired now?"
"Retired? But you're only ... fifty, aren't you?"
"Fifty-two last month. Our company was bought by an American firm a few months ago. They decided that their buyers in New York were capable of looking after the Canadian stores and I was given a golden handshake. I had stock options and I hadn't spent very much money at all over the years. I'm very secure, financially."
"I should introduce myself," Ardele finally spoke.
"I'm sorry, Del, I wasn't thinking. I apologize. Mother, this is Ardele Quinton, my fiancΓ©e. Ardele, my mother, Sarah ... uhhm."
"Sarah Seaton, Ardele. Seaton is my maiden name. And I'm delighted to meet you. Patrick has chosen very well. You are a very beautiful woman."
"Thank you," Ardele answered shyly.
"And what do you do for a living, Patrick?" Mother asked.
"I ... we ... have a charter boat business. We take people on cruises and fishing trips and nature explorations, mostly during the summer months."