Broken part 4
By
Soul71
Thanks to WAA01 for the edits.
******
Once again I was awakened by a pair of dangling breasts in my face. Unlike yesterday, my eyes couldn't look away no matter how much I commanded them to as my mother showed off the valley of her orbs as her threadbare robe opened slightly. However, I did learn from yesterday's mistake, I did not intentionally roll over and expose my morning wood to her eyes. Although, I did notice how my mother's eyes glanced to the right. Was my own mother really yearning to see that? I rightly didn't know. For all I knew she could be hoping not to come face to face with my cock again.
"What time is it?" I yawned as I stretched.
"8:30," Pauline stated as she sank down to my bed. "When did you get this?" she asked, as her fingers traced along the tattoo I got to mimic the ones Sam and Dean have. What can I say, I'm that kind of fan boy. Obviously.
"When I turned eighteen," I said, matter-of-factly. Looking down as her fingers moved along the tattoo just below my collarbone.
"You know Billy used to have tattoos too," Pauline sighed with a mix of emotions. I could tell she did not sleep well last night. It was my hope the ghost of my father was haunting her dreams, or was that just too cruel of me? I rightly didn't know. It was obvious that she didn't know about his suicide. Still, that didn't mean she would be off the hook for the crap she put my life through. Alright, I do understand why she couldn't come home, if what she said was true about Roy threatening to kill Emily if she tried to run again. I mean who does that?! I never knew my mother to lie, well I didn't think she would fuck her father either, but here we are. Nevertheless, if what she said was true, then... I don't know, what could I do really to even check against that? Surely, there wasn't some police report about it, nor were there going to be hospital records about it either.
"Did he now?" I asked, trying to keep my tone passive.
"He did," Pauline nodded. "He had our names on his arms." I watched as she tapped her upper right arm depicting where they were. "Billy always said, they were his lifeline when working at the plant grew too much for him and he wanted to quit. He would roll up his sleeves and stare at our names, knowing that he could keep working there even when he was dealing with his mental problems because he was doing it for us." Why did it feel like she was trying to get me to understand why my father caught her in their bed being fucked by Roy? What her intentions were and what happened afterwards are two different things. Either way, she couldn't turn back time and make the last eighteen years of my life just disappear. "I know I've said it before Jacob, but you have to believe me when I say I was only doing it for us. For my wonderful family, that I..." Pauline looked away as her lower lip trembled. "Forgive me honey, it's just that... with Billy gone, and your anger, warranted as it might be, I don't know if I can go on living knowing I've killed the only real man that I loved," she said, as tears streamed down her eyes as she turned her gaze back to me. Okay, that got my attention, there was no way she was leaving me with Emily.
"Listen, Dad's been gone a long time now, its new to you, not to me," I said, as I sat up. "You got your sister to help you with your grief. Someone's shoulder to cry on should you need it..."
"But baby," I looked down as her hand covered mine, "can't you see it in yourself to hold me just for a bit?" Pauline asked, with those pleading eyes of hers. "I promise it won't take more than a minute... maybe five." I noticed how she was trying not to smile at her own words. I also noted how her eyes peered out and down from the corner of her right eye now that I wasn't laying on my morning wood any longer. Was she really checking out my hard-on? Seems like it, but I couldn't be sure.
In that moment as she abruptly hugged me. I learned two things, one: she wasn't wearing a bra beneath her robe. Two: her nipples were hard as they pressed into my bare chest. I really tried not to notice how she was nuzzling my neck. I awkwardly patted her back to tell her that was long enough.
"Just a little longer... please," Pauline said softly, pleading with me. "I read Mom's first journal last night," she whispered into my ear.
"I see."
"You know she never meant to take her anger out on you, right?" Of course, I knew that. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with something that should have been on me, not you," Pauline said, as her hand gently rubbed my back.
"You're right, it should have been you. It should have been you on the receiving end of grandma's wrath, but you weren't here. You left me on the floor and drove away with Roy," I said coldly, pushing Pauline away. "No matter how much you want to change things you can't. There is no magic wand for you to erase the last eighteen years of my life." Looking into her eyes seeing that she heard every word. Nodding along when she agreed that there was no reverse switch for everything.
"I know baby, I know I can't change the past." I watched as she reached up to take hold of my hands. Lowering them down to her lap, where her thumbs brushed along my knuckles as she held firmly to my hands like she or I would fly away if she didn't. "But if you give me a chance I promise I'll do everything in my power to make up for the years we have missed out on," Pauline said sweetly, as she stared into my eyes.
"Maybe if you tell me the whole truth, then maybe we can do that, yet I know you're holding something back. I don't know what, but if it threatens me or my home then I think it would be best that you leave," I said, watching the shock play along her eyes.
"I promise Jacob, you don't have to worry about anything. There's no way they can know where we are." I felt the slight tremble of her hands.
"Who's they?" I asked, wondering why I saw fear in Pauline's eyes.
"You remember the people I told you about that Roy joined?"
"Yeah, what about them?" I inquired, as I arched an eyebrow. I saw how Pauline bowed her head hiding her fearful eyes from me.
"T-t-they tried to break into the apartment we lived at the day word of Roy's death got out. I knew if they got in Emily and I would be taken over and over again. Not caring if we wanted to or not. Then I knew we would be passed around and used for who knows how long before they tossed us into a ditch somewhere. So the moment they left, once they knew they couldn't get in, we packed what we could into Roy's car and that's where we lived until I got the test back that told me I wasn't a match for Emily. So, I-I turned to the only one left that could help my little girl, you," Pauline said, raising her chin to look at me. "You, my son, you are the only one that can help Emily."
"That remains to be seen," I said, aloofly.
"Please don't talk like that Jacob!" Pauline exclaimed, teary eyed. "I've already lost you, don't make me lose my baby girl too," she begged.
I had nothing, no snide comment, no sarcastic retort, or anything like that. I mean what could I really say to that?! Sorry Mom but she's got to die! Yeah, that would go over real well in the courts.
"Will you pray with me Jacob?" Pauline asked, holding my hands against her chest. Something I was so not expecting given how the back of my hands pressed against the insides of her breasts as she held them in the cleavage of her breasts.