Brobdingnag

The expurgated parts of Gulliver's Travels

Author's Preface

The printer of my travel stories has advised me that certain passages in my works must be omitted if he and I are to avoid incarceration at their Majesties' pleasure.

While I resent the enforced censorship of my writing that he counsels I admit that he has wisdom. Their Majesties' prisons are not attractive domiciles.

Therefore I have revised my manuscripts to expunge the parts that might attract unfavourable attention or titillate the common herd. There are also certain incidents in my sojourn both in the lands of Lilliput and Brobdingnag that I would be reluctant to expose to public view to the public's obloquy while I am alive.

I have arranged that this cowardly acquiescence to expediency shall not survive me. I have retained the offending manuscripts and I will transmit them to my heirs will instructions to publish them as an addendum to my "Gulliver's Travels" when I am deceased and beyond threat of their Majesties' displeasure.

I appreciate that even my heirs may find difficulty in finding a printer willing to risk imprisonment for uttering these passages but hope that future generations may lead to a society more tolerant than those of my day. If you, gentle reader, are reading these passages, it can only be because more latitude is allowed to authors than was possible to me.

Yours &tc

Jonathan Swift 1745

Editor's Note

This letter and the manuscripts of the parts deleted from Lilliput and Brobdingnag were found in a disused vault of a former bank in the City of London when it was demolished to make way for a new building. It was forwarded by order of the Mayor of London, on behalf of the City who are the freeholders of the site, to me as the ultimate heir of the estate of Jonathan Swift.

I am pleased to dedicate this portion covering Gulliver's time in Brobdingnag, here first published, to the Mayor and Corporation of the City of London. Long may they follow their motto "Domine Dirige Nos".

Even in these days I consider it safer to identify myself as:

Anon 2004

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Brobdingnag Part the First

As this is to be published as an addendum to the work "Gulliver's Travels" I assume that the reader is aware of the circumstances that led to me being abandoned on the coast of Brobdingnag, and how I came to court with my protector Glumdalclitch. In that work I briefly mention the froward behaviour of some of the Queen's Maids of Honour. This section of the work gave occasion to some heated discussion with the printer but eventually was retained in a slightly modified form. The passage relating my time with the Queen's favourite lady had to be omitted entirely together with the circumstances which led to my protector's absence.

It was unfortunate that Glumdalclitch, who was a country girl, was not immune to the distempers that attack those who live in more populated areas. Soon after the incident with the Maids of Honour, Glumdalclitch caught what I assume was the local equivalent of mumps. It was imperative that she and I should part while she was infectious. Glumdalclitch fared well enough. A kindly lady who had the disease as a child cared for her.

I wish I could say that I was as well cared for. The Queen was concerned about my well being. She decided to entrust my person to her favourite, the Duchess Petrova. Neither name or title are those of the lady whose name I wish to protect even now.

The Duke, the Duchess's husband, was a brute but a very powerful one. He was second only to the King in Brobdingnag in estates and wealth. If there were to be a revolution then the Duke would be the obvious person to succeed the King. For that reason he had been persuaded to marry Petrova who was one of the King's cousins. He had not been difficult to persuade. Petrova was one of the most beautiful ladies in the Kingdom. Her skin was notably fair and blemish free even to my eyes.

She had an unusual habit. She took a shower both morn and night with a peculiar contraption that projected warm water with significant force. It was driven by a concealed hand pump that required the services of four strong men. The ensuing deluge seemed to me to surpass any waterfall I have ever seen. I would have drowned or been crushed by the weight of water had I been exposed to Petrova's shower.

Perhaps as a result of these twice-daily ablutions the Lady Petrova was sweet smelling. She used no perfume but that produced by her own body.

She treated me as if I was a person of consequence and not a freak of nature. Such consideration was unusual among the courtiers most of whom treated me as if I was a performing animal. The Lady Petrova and I had many interesting discussions particularly on the differences in the status of men and women between Brobdingnag and my country. I was not averse, therefore, to being entrusted to the care of the Lady Petrova while Glumdalclitch was indisposed. She treated me as a man. If only I had known… but I did not know.

The consequences of my ignorance were soon revealed. I was aware that the Duke was not highly regarded. He was absent from court as Governor of a remote province. He had been persuaded by the Queen to leave the Lady Petrova behind. Perhaps the fact that his four mistresses travelled with him accounted for his agreement.

I was unaware that the Lady Petrova was effectively a single lady or I would not have agreed to being in her care. To my understanding I would be compromising her. Such thoughts did not bother anyone at the court because my size was such that I could not be considered as a possible suitor for the lady.

Unfortunately for me the Lady Petrova did not share the court's view of me. She believed that, comparative miniature that I was; I was still a man. She was not kindly disposed to men because of her husband's treatment of her. She intended to take her revenge on men with me as their representative.

At first she treated me kindly. As part of her costume, she in common with many ladies at court, wore a dainty apron trimmed with lace. Her apron had a small pocket sewn below the waistband. I travelled in that pocket which was deep enough to contain me up to my neck. When she was moving she would tighten the ribbon at the pocket's mouth so that I was retained in the pocket even if her movements were extreme.

From that vantage point I could see more than I could from my travelling closet. The voluminous nature of the Lady Petrova's skirt and petticoats insulated me from the shock of her feet striking the ground. I was comfortable and warmed by the heat of her body. When tired I could curl myself up into the pocket and ride as if suspended in a hammock. If I were in this position when the lady wished to walk she would tighten the ribbon completely, sealing me inside her pocket.

I found this delightful for the first two days. On the third morning the Lady Petrova came into my presence as I was completing my ablutions and completely naked. I endeavoured to conceal my nakedness but she plucked the towel away. She lifted me and placed me in her apron pocket where I found that a seamstress had been at work. The inside wall of the pocket had been stitched to the skirt and a slit made through the pocket and the skirt. As the Lady Petrova's hand placed me into the pocket she pushed my legs through the slit into the dark depths under her heavy skirt. Her other hand, which she had introduced inside her waistband, caught my body and placed it against her bare skin.

I was trapped inside her nether garments. As her hand released me, I fell several feet until the curve of the garment between her legs stopped my descent. The Lady Petrova's pubic hairs tickled my whole body. To my horror I became aware that she was aroused sexually. Her private parts were damp and glistening. As she hitched up her garments the cloth pulled me inexorably between her hairy lips which divided to receive my unwilling body.

My own weight and the curve of her garment pressed my feet and legs inwards. Her hand squeezed against the outside of her skirt and edged my body deeper into her sex's embrace. I was both pushed and sucked within her until only my head was free from her vaginal sphincter that was closing around my neck. Frantically I interposed my hands between her sphincter and my neck to avert my imminent strangulation.

I screamed for mercy as loudly as I was able. The Lady Petrova assured me later that not one sound of my pleas was audible beyond her skirt and petticoats or she would have released me.

Her vagina started contracting in regular spasms around me. Had I not been in imminent fear of my demise I might have enjoyed the sensation of being wholly contained within a lady's sex. I admit that once or twice I had dreamed of being in such a position but I had never expected my dream to become reality, nor that the reality could be so life threatening.

At that point I made a fundamental error that arose from my relative inexperience of women's sexuality. I felt her clitoris become engorged and erect immediately against my pinioned torso. I thought, ignorant male that I was, that if I excited the Lady Petrova to orgasm she would be satisfied and therefore would release me from my sexual imprisonment.

Now I know better, but then…

I reached up with one arm and started to stroke her engorged organ. I felt a massive shudder pass through her body which struck me like an earthquake. I persevered with my caressing and more earthquakes of increasing magnitude were the result. I redoubled my efforts in an attempt to force an early conclusion to my incarceration. I was shaken more violently than I had ever been, even in the worst storm at sea.

Her vagina was compressing my body cruelly, bruising me all over in her ecstasy. I was panting for breath until I managed to synchronise my breathing with her contractions. Even so my very survival was in doubt. I heard her bellows of rapture louder than the trumpetings of a mighty herd of elephants. Had it not been for the muffling effect of her layers of clothing I would have been as deafened for life as a master gunner is by the repeated discharge of his ordnance.

I hoped that her noise might attract attention but in the privacy of her chambers she was unheard unless by her domestics who would have recognised her bellowings for what they were and be reluctant to interfere with the pleasures of their mistress.

Unenlightened person that I was, I continued my caressing of her clitoris throughout the earth shattering agitations that I was instigating in the lady's body. I persevered in my ministrations and thus prolonged the Lady Petrova's enjoyment not for seconds or minutes but for two whole hours until even she was sated.

At last the earthquakes subsided to mere tremors before a quiet lassitude overcame us both. She reached a hand down and extricated me from my predicament. She wiped my damp body with the hem of her apron before placing me gently between her breasts. Cradled there I soon dropped into an exhausted sleep lulled by the gentle rise and fall of her massive orbs as she too slept.

End of Chapter the First