Brian and Nurse Brenda

The wind made a low moaning sound as it blew through the branches of the poplar trees that surrounded the park. The sky was overcast and grey and looked as dejected as I was feeling that day. It had been only a week earlier that I had been informed by my fiancée that she no longer wanted to marry me. A couple of months prior, she'd been offered a job in California and jumped at the opportunity without even discussing it with me. I didn't really believe that she was serious about leaving and it wasn't until the day that she loaded all of her belongings into a rental van and departed that I realized she was actually leaving me, and my dreams of a life together, behind.

I subsequently made dozens of phone calls to her in California, begging her to reconsider her decision not to marry me. For the first few weeks she was understanding and sympathetic, but a week ago, when I suggested that I wanted to leave my job and move out west to join her, she finally decided to tell me the brutal truth.

I heard her taking a deep breath on the other end of the line. "Brian," she said in a very clear and determined voice. "I'm sorry, but I can't continue with our relationship. I love California and I love the people here." Then after hesitating for a moment, she added, "I've met someone at my new job and he's just wonderful. He's asked me to be his girlfriend and we're going to be moving into our own place together. Please don't make this any harder than it is Brian. We can't go back and I don't want to try. It's over and you have to get on with your life. You're a great guy Brian and you won't have any trouble finding another woman and falling in love. I think it's best now if we just break off contact with one another. I loved the time we had together and wouldn't trade it for anything, but it's over and you have to accept that. Goodbye. I really hope you find all of the happiness you deserve."

I stood there in shock for what seemed like hours before finally blurting out something that sounded like a goodbye. We'd been together since I was a senior in high school. I'd never had another girlfriend. She was the only girl I'd ever dated. She'd taken my heart, my virginity and now my future. I was sure I'd never be able to replace her. I'd been in love with her from the day we met. Who could ever take the place of a woman I loved so much?

The wind was blowing harder now and as I continued walking across the park, I felt a stabbing pain run up and down my left arm. I ignored it and continued on my way. Then, after walking another fifty steps or so, I felt another pain, this time a little sharper, shooting up and down the left side of my neck. Within a few minutes, the pain was simultaneously running up and down my left arm and neck. It came and went and didn't seem to have any relationship to the speed at which I was walking. I decided I'd go into the emergency room of the local hospital and have it checked out just to be safe.

When I arrived home, I got into my car and drove to the hospital. I arrived at around four o'clock in the afternoon. It was a Sunday and I was shocked to find the emergency room near overflowing. Oddly enough, very few of the people there looked ill. Most of them just looked annoyed and impatient. I made my way to the registration line up and waited patiently for my turn. I stood there for at least half an hour and when I had almost made it to the front of the line, I realized that I was feeling a lot better. I decided that I'd go home and simply forget about the incident at the park.

I was just about to turn and leave when I heard a loud voice, "Next! Next Please!"

I walked up to the registration desk and stood there in front of the admissions nurse who was making notes on the person who had just left. She looked up at me and I could see right away that she would sooner have been at home having a barbeque with her family. "How can I help you sir?" she asked automatonically.

I wasn't sure exactly what to say, so I blurted out something that seemed appropriate in the circumstances. "I was walking through the park a while ago and I got this pain shooting up and down my arm and neck. I doubt if it's anything serious, but I thought I'd come in and have it checked out just to be safe."

She began to look a little more interested at this point. "Which arm did you feel the pain in sir?" she asked.

"My left arm," I replied and then added, "from there the pain spread up into my neck as well."

She immediately made a note on a sheet in front of her and then asked, "What were you doing at the time that you experienced the pain?"

"I was just walking through the park on my way home from a friend's house," I replied.

"Did you feel tired when the pain started?" she asked with a slightly concerned look on her face. "Had you been running or exerting yourself just before the pain began?"

At that point I became a little concerned and replied, "No. I was just walking and I wasn't tired. Well not really tired," I added, "I haven't been sleeping very well lately, so I wasn't completely rested but I don't think I'd say I was tired." I realized that I must be sounding a little confused. It was a bad habit of mine to begin rambling whenever I became nervous. I decided I'd simply answer the rest of the nurse's questions in a simple, straightforward manner.

She was now looking at me with a somewhat higher level of concern registered on her face. "Are you feeling any pain now?" she asked.

I realized that a small amount of discomfort had returned to my arm and neck since she began questioning me. "Well, it's not really hurting. I am having a little discomfort right now, but it's not nearly so bad as it was." I replied. Then I realized that I had been holding my arm to emphasize what I was saying.

"I think we should have one of the doctors take a look at you, just to be sure everything is okay sir." With that, she made a phone call and then stood up and motioned to me to follow her. As we walked along the hallway leading to the main floor of the hospital, she took my arm and quietly said, "If you feel any pain as we're walking, please say so immediately and I'll call an orderly with a wheel chair."

"Oh my God!" I thought to myself, "Just how serious is this? Is this where it's going to end? Is it my destiny to die alone in a hospital, unloved and with nobody there to mourn my passing? Will the last moments of my life be spent surrounded by strangers who would sooner be at home barbequing, rather than being here tending to the final needs of an unloved stranger?"

Moments later, the nurse steered me into a room with two or three clicking, whirring electronic devices set against the wall. There was a young man seated at the far end of the room and he immediately got up and came over to us. "Doctor, this is Brian, the young man I called you about," said the nurse in a very matter of fact tone, "He's been experiencing some pain in his left arm and neck." .

"Thank you nurse." replied the young doctor. Then, turning to me, he said "I'm Doctor Brown Brian. What seems to be your problem?"

I went through the same explanation of my incident in the park and the doctor listened carefully, making brief notes as I spoke. When I was finished, rather than asking any questions, he stood up and said, "Please take off your shirt, shoes and pants and lie on the examination table. You can leave your socks and underwear on. I'm going to do an electrocardiogram just to make sure you're not experiencing an issue with your heart."

My face turned ashen white with trepidation. "You mean I may have had a heart attack?" I asked incredulously. "That's what caused the pain I felt in my arm and neck?"

The doctor realized immediately that I was one of those people who react to the suggestion of a medical problem with a high level of anxiety mixed with a measure of drama. "I don't think that's the case, but we do have to be certain. In recent years, an increasing number of hospitals have been sued for negligence because they didn't take all of the steps necessary to ensure that a patient is accurately diagnosed when he or she shows up in the emergency room. We're just going to make sure that you don't have a serious problem before we send you on your way."

I quickly removed my shirt, pants and shoes and laid down on the examination table. The doctor then placed several electrodes in various locations on my body and turned on the electrocardiograph machine. It clicked away for a short while as the doctor stood there examining the printout with a look of concern on his face. "Have you ever been diagnosed with a heart problem Brian?" he asked abruptly.

By now, the level of angst I was experiencing had skyrocketed. "A heart problem?" I gasped. "I've never been aware of any heart problem. Does your machine indicate that I have something wrong with my heart?"

"Well not that I can see right now." replied the young doctor, "but a veiled heart problem could be causing the pain you experienced and it's not showing up on the electrocardiogram. I think we should run some detailed tests when the Cardio testing unit opens tomorrow morning. In the meantime, just to be on the safe side, I want you to stay here tonight for observation."

And that's how I ended up as a patient at the local hospital. I was formally admitted and placed in a bed on the third floor in the cardiac care ward. I was given hospital pyjamas and was hooked up to a heart monitor. I laid there for an hour, just trying to get used to the idea that I might live a much shorter life than I'd always envisioned. Time began to pass at a snail's pace. Finally the sun set and my room became dark. There was nothing in the room that was of any interest to me, so I simply left the light off and lay there with my eyes closed. I wondered, as I lay there in the darkness, what the tests that Dr. Brown planned to run were going to show.

It must have been about midnight when I was awakened by softly spoken words, "Brian, please don't be alarmed. I just want to ask you how you're doing and let you know I'm here."

I opened my eyes and, in the dim light, saw a woman in a nurses uniform. She was very pretty and was holding a clip chart in one hand and a glass of water in the other. "Would you like a drink of water?" she asked.

"No thanks," I replied, "I'm not thirsty right now."

"My name is Brenda," she whispered. "It's just after midnight. I'll be here with you all night. Dr. Brown thought you should have a nurse in your room overnight, just to make sure you didn't experience any problems. Would you like me to turn on your light?"

"I guess a little light wouldn't hurt." I replied.

The nurse turned on the light and asked, "I want you to be comfortable Brian. Is there anything you need or anything that you'd like to talk about?"

"Actually, I was wondering what sort of tests are planned for tomorrow," I replied. "Do you know what the doctors intend to do?"

"I believe they're going to give you a stress test. That's normally the first test they give to someone who's experiencing suspected angina."

"A stress test? What exactly is that?" I asked.

"Oh, that's where you're made run on a treadmill while your pulse and blood pressure are being monitored. Basically, the operator wants to see if the pain you experienced in your arm and neck returns during the course of the test."

"Well what if the pain does return during the test?" I asked.

"If the pain returns, then it's likely that you're experiencing angina which is the result of an insufficient flow of blood to your heart. If that's the case, you'll probably have to undergo more complex and definitive testing."

"So I should be hoping for zero pain during the test tomorrow?" I asked.

"That's pretty much the case." she answered. "but I have a feeling that you don't have to be very concerned about that Brian.

I looked closer at this nurse. She appeared to be about 20 to 25 years old. She was slim and had quite an attractive figure. "What's your name?" I asked.

She looked up from the chart on which she was making notes. "I'm Brenda!" she replied with a smile. In the light, I could see that her hair was reddish blonde and her eyes were light blue. She had a smooth white complexion with just a few light freckles. Her teeth were straight and brightly polished. All things considered, she was quite beautiful. I was a little surprised with myself for noticing. Ever since my ex had moved to California, I'd lost interest completely in women. I'd immersed myself in my work and had no inclination to get involved in another relationship.

She leaned over the side of the bed and said, "Open wide please." Then she placed a thermometer in my mouth. She stood there looking at me as she waited for the thermometer to sound a beep, indicating that the reading was complete. At the beep she reached down for the thermometer and as she leaned forward, I caught a glimpse of her very generous cleavage. I couldn't believe that I was checking out a woman's boobs while I was on what could prove to be my death bed. I looked back up at her eyes and saw her smile knowingly. She'd caught me looking and rather than being offended, she was amused.

She recorded the temperature reading and then asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to talk about Brian?"

"How long have you been a nurse Brenda?" I figured that some fast arithmetic would give me a pretty good idea of just how old she was.

"I have a feeling that I became a nurse just about the time your mother was giving birth to you." she said with a bright smile. "I graduated from nursing school in 1958."

She could see the wheels turning in my head as I studied her face. "To save you the task of having to make the mathematical calculation in your head, I graduated from nursing school when I was 21 years old." Then she looked down at my chart and with a slightly surprised look on her face, remarked, "In fact, it looks like I graduated 2 years before you were born. I'm 44 years old Brian, so compared to me, you're a relative baby at 21 years old."

"Yeah! Pretty young age to be having heart problems. I'll probably never make it anywhere near your age."

"Oh, I'm sure that your heart is quite strong and healthy," she replied. "You don't have the look of someone with heart disease. I've been nursing cardiac patients for more than 20 years and at your age, the biggest concerns you're likely to have are your career and female companionship. What do you do for a living Brian?"

"I just finished university six months ago." I replied. "I've been working for Validation Computer Management since then. They recruited me while I was in my last year of university."

"Wow!" remarked Brenda, "You're only 21 years old and you've already graduated from university. How did you manage that feat?"

"Oh, I never really did most of the things that other kids do in school. I was never really very interested in sports and social affairs. But, I loved the academic side of school and always got good grades. As a result, I was placed into an accelerated program while I was still in elementary school. That's the reason I started university when I was only 16 years old."

Brenda was impressed. "Sounds like you're on the fast track to success Brian. Does your wife or girlfriend know that you're in here?"

"I don't have a wife or girlfriend," I replied with a touch of dejection, "I was engaged to my high school sweetheart up until a couple of months ago. She's the only woman I've ever had a relationship with and I always assumed we'd eventually marry and live happily ever after. As it turned out, she was offered a job in California two months ago and she took it without even discussing it with me. She left to start her new job two months ago. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was totally committed to a fresh start in a new state."

"That sounds like a horror show," replied Brenda. "I'm sorry that something so hurtful happened between you and someone you loved so much. Have you been in touch with her since you broke up?"

"Yeah! I called her a while ago and she told me that she had met another guy. The two of them are an item and will be getting a place together. She told me she was in love with him and that there was no chance that we'd ever get back together. She asked me to stop calling her and to start looking for someone else."

Brenda sat down on the side of the bed. "What do you intend to do now?" she asked, a look of gentle compassion on her face.

"There's nothing that can be done. My experience with her is now officially over," I lamented. "I'm just going to have to start from zero. I've had one girlfriend in my entire life. She took my heart, my virginity, my hope, my future, then piled them up and set them ablaze. There's nothing to do but salvage as much of my life as I can and just start over."

Brenda had a quizzical look on her face. "When did things finally come to an end with your ex-fiancée?" she asked.

"Well, they probably came to an end long before I was aware of it. She decided to accept the job offer in California a couple of months ago, but it was only a week ago that she broke off our engagement and told me that there was another guy." Brenda was a good listener. I was beginning to feel a little buoyed just being able to talk about the situation with someone else.

She put her hand on my arm and, in a soft and understanding voice, said "You know Brian, young healthy people often begin to develop symptoms of serious disease when they've been through a mentally harrowing experience. I've seen it happen many times to young men and young women when they lose someone they love dearly. I'm quite sure that the horrible experience with your ex is somehow connected to the pain that you felt in your arm and neck. I think the tests you're taking tomorrow will confirm that." With that she reached up and felt Brian's forehead, then added, "But for now, I think you should get some sleep. You have nothing to worry about, I'll be right here."

She made some notes on my chart and then turned off the light. I watched her silhouette as she walked over to the chair along the wall and sat down. She was not very tall; perhaps five feet, four inches. Her figure was quite lovely, not at all what you'd expect the figure of a 44 year old woman to look like. Her face had an angelic look with pale alabaster skin and just a light scattering of freckles. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off.

I wasn't sure how long I slept, but when I woke up, I felt like I might have to urinate. I turned on the light and realized that Brenda had left the room. "She's probably having a coffee." I thought. I was glad that she wasn't in the room as I didn't want her to see the huge erection that I'd attained while I was asleep. I glanced at my watch. It was 1:45 am. I threw off the blankets, swung my legs off the bed and slid into the slippers beside my bed. As I started for the bathroom door on the other side of the room, I realized that my erection was sticking out the front of my hospital issued pyjamas. "Why can't they give you pyjamas that have buttons up the front?" I wondered. The erection was nothing unusual. I always had a rock hard erection when I awaken in the middle of the night. Normally, if I also had to urinate, I would just stand in front of the toilet until the erection softened enough to allow me to push it downwards and aim the stream of urine into the toilet. I walked over to the bathroom, turned on the light and stood in front of the toilet. My penis was still sticking rigidly out through the front of my pyjama bottoms.

I stood there with the bottoms lowered to my knees. I was prepared to wait the few minutes necessary to allow my hard on to diminish enough to allow me to relieve myself. At that very moment, I heard a voice behind me ask, "Are you alright Brian? The buzzer in the nurses' office went off when you got out of bed. Do you need help with anything?"