Editor's note: this story contains scenes of gay male sexual content.
5://Programming
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"Is this your sister, or something?" Vale said, eyes flicking from the photo to Kip and back again.
"Or something," Kip said, and then mentally shook himself, steeling himself for whatever may come. "That's me. Or it was." As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt suddenly ill and quaky inside. Even more so, when he recognized the realization on Vale's face.
"Oh," he said slowly, looking at the back of the photograph. It was a different one than Kip had put away earlier, and he cursed himself for not checking under the edge of the bed. In this one, he wore a pastel sundress that his mother had insisted on for the picture, and he sat on the swing they had in the backyard. "Katherine?" Kip cringed.
"My deadname. I wish you hadn't seen that, but I was going to tell you that I'm transgender. It's why I invited you here tonight. I wanted to see if things were getting serious enough to disclose, but I'm afraid I may have waited too long. I hope you don't feel like you wasted your time, but I understand if you don't want to take things further." The flood of words poured out of him as he twisted the hem of his shirt, not quite meeting Vale's eyes. His heart hammered at his chest, and he knew he couldn't emotionally survive seeing Vale turn out like the others. Insulted, disappointed, angry, or hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to trail back into their ducts. He was surprised to feel Vale's fingers along his chin, turning his face back towards him.
"Hey," Vale said, and Kip opened his eyes. "It's okay. I'm not going to flee out the door screaming. Let's just talk. This is all new for me, I have to admit, but I'll try to understand." He placed the photo on the nearby dresser and took a seat next to Kip on the bed, turning towards him. "So, is this like a male trapped in a female body sort of thing?"
"That's one of the best explanations I have," Kip said. "But I just like to think of it as my body. That's the only label it needs." Vale nodded.
"Well, this is a unique situation," Vale said. "How long have you known?"
"Ever since my first conscious thought."
"And you're gay?"
"I like men, and I identify as a man, so that makes me gay."
"Have you had a boyfriend before?" Vale asked, noticing how Kip looked away at that question. With a gentle prod, he brought him back.
"Here and there, only one real boyfriend in high school, but I was still forced to present as female at the time. After I came out, it didn't last long. I've seen a guy or two since, but I feel like I was more a curiosity they had to satiate, rather than an actual person. I've tried dating on apps and online, but it hasn't been going well," Kip said, struggling with meeting Vale's eyes, and Vale could feel the regret and shame seeping out of him.
Unable to help himself, Vale leaned forward and caught Kip off-guard, their lips meeting in a tentative, then passionate kiss. After a few heartbeats, Kip began to meet his fervor before they breathlessly pulled apart. Kip looked into Vale's eyes, searching for something...sincerity?
"It's been a while since I've experienced that," Kip said, catching his breath. A small smile flickered across his face. Maybe this would work out after all. Vale matched his smile, bringing their heads together. Could he dare hope?
"Listen, I like you more than I've liked any boy so far. I don't know what it is, but you pull at my heartstrings. And I can say this, you're definitely manly enough for me. I never thought less, and I don't think less of it now. However we have to adapt, I'm sure I'll be more than satisfied. I hope you will be too," Vale said, sealing his promise with a kiss. Kip couldn't remember feeling so light-headed, and he only hoped that it could last.
The sweet kiss turned into multiple grasps at each other as Vale's hands started to explore across Kip's chest, and up and down his sides. Kip moaned against Vale, separating just enough to look into his eyes and ask, "Are you sure you want to do this tonight? You know...since it may not be what you're expecting."
"I'm a fast learner," Vale said, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and revealing his defined chest and subtle hint of a six-pack. He shucked it onto the floor at the foot of the bed. "Plus, you're too hot. If I have to wait any longer, I might explode."
Kip's heart fluttered at being called hot, certainly not an every day occurrence. A part of him wanted to question it, but as Vale's hand went between his legs, he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. At Vale's surprise and gentle prodding, Kip couldn't help but laugh. "That's not me. I wear a packer, a fake, flaccid penis for day-wear." Vale quirked an eyebrow, and continued rubbing.
"Why?"
Kip shrugged. "It makes me feel better to have something there, and I guess the bulge looks better. Not that anyone ever looks to notice otherwise."
"I looked," Vale said, flashing a flirty smile as he stroked. Kip almost melted. He loved when guys played with it like they would any other guy's, but it wasn't something he could always be vocal about.
"I remember. You're an odd duck." Vale laughed at the comment.
"Well, if the odd duck gets you, I'm sure I'll cope." He pounced forward and dragged Kip further up the bed, engulfing him in another series of hot, passionate kisses. Yep, tastes just like a man, Vale thought as he explored the younger man's mouth. He poked his tongue in between his lips, and was pleased to find that Kip opened eagerly, meeting his tongue with his own. The two taut muscles wrestled together in the warm confines of their joined mouths while Vale started unbuttoning Kip's shirt. He was loosely straddling the pinned man, and he was pleased to see that lust was clouding his eyes.
He sat back and finished unbuttoning, opening the shirt and helping Kip lift his shoulders enough to take it off. He ran his hands and gaze over the pale, yet defined chest. Under each muscled pec, there was a thick scar running from the center to under his arm on each side. He traced each scar with his fingertips, and Kip threw his head back and moaned.
"God, I love that," Kip panted, and Vale wondered if he liked the acceptance he felt as Vale embraced his uniqueness, or if it physically felt good. He did it again, and Kip moaned, twitching slightly as he came to the end of one scar. He decided it might be a combination of emotional and physical sensations.
"You're beautiful," Vale said, rocking back on his heels and looking down at his new boyfriend's skinny frame. There wasn't a hint of sarcasm or malice in his tone; only reverence, and Kip had to fight back tears. Vale looked and saw the shine in his eyes. "I really mean it." Kip stifled a sob, and Vale swooped down to grasp him, pulling the boy to him, pressing their bare chests together as Kip scrambled to meet his embrace. He could feel the shuddering of sobs, but he let Kip work through him, rocking gently and comforting him.
