Kip put his knees on the stone edge around the fountain and leaned back in to scoop up his soggy hearing aids. He shook them to get the excess water off, but he knew it would already be too late. He whirled on the guy who had knocked him over and with fiery eyes, shoved the hearing aids at him. The guy ran his slender fingers through his thick hair while he looked down into Kip's diminutive hands grasping the ruined hearing aids, but a look of confusion crossed his face. Kip looked at his friend just in time to catch most of what he said, between lip reading and what little residual hearing he had left, but it wasn't easy.
"Dude, you just knocked over a disabled kid," the red-head said, although it sounded like he was talking from beyond a heavy door. Kip glared at him.
"I'm twenty-two, and I'm more abled than you. But I do need to get my hearing aids replaced," Kip said, turning back to his main assailant. He saw the shock in his hazel eyes at knowing Kip's true age, which he was used to, but there was more.
"Hearing aids? But didn't you just hear Kent?" the guy said, and Kip sighed with exasperation.
"I lip-read, which I'm going to have to start doing more because there's no way I can afford to replace these." Kip's look of fury melted into sadness at that realization. He truly couldn't afford to replace them, not if he wished to keep paying down his student debt and have a place to live. What was he going to do about work? He stuffed the hearing aids into his pocket and picked up his briefcase where it had clattered just outside of the fountain when he had lost his grip. At least it wouldn't be dripping wet, like himself, he thought bitterly. The cool water had been a nice reprieve from the weather, but he wasn't able to enjoy it as a shock, and now that his clothes were gripping him in a wet and itchy way, he knew the walk home would be even more miserable.
"Again, I'm so sorry. My name is Vale, by the way," the guy said as he reached out a hand. Kip reluctantly shook it, but when he made eye contact, he thought he saw true repentance, and maybe something else. Was this stranger really better than any of the jerks he was used to? His hand relaxed in Vale's warm grip, and Vale smiled. "Can I call you a cab or something? I'll try to make it up to you. I do feel quite bad about having ruined your hearing aids."
"I'm Kip. I doubt a cab would take me like this," Kip said. Vale looked confused for a moment, and asked him to repeat it again. Kip sighed, but then did so, then Vale nodded.
"Sorry, you were talking rather low," Vale said. Kip blushed. He was vaguely aware that he often didn't put a lot of effort into talking, especially when he couldn't hear himself, and he never strove to since he considered that wasted effort. It was hard to maintain a public speaking voice, but for Vale, he suddenly felt like he wanted to.
"It's okay. I have to get home and change. It's only a few blocks away. No worries." Kip released his hand after an embarrassing realization that he still held it for a few beats too long. Although he was still cold from the water, something warm was spreading within him.
"Here," Vale said while he rummaged through his messenger bag and took out a scrap sheet of paper and a pen. He fervently scribbled something on it, not wanting to keep the poor boy waiting, and then handed the paper to Kip. "Here's my number. Text me and I'll see what I can do about replacing your hearing aids." Kip looked at the number incredulously, not remembering the last time he had a hot guy's phone number. Oh wait, it was never. "It's not going to bite you. Oh, please tell me I didn't trash your phone too," Vale said as his eyes rushed to the pockets of the short, cute guy standing in front of him. He didn't see any bulge from a phone, but his eyes did rest on a different bulge. Kip looked immediately uncomfortable, and Vale's friend, Kent, was trying to hide a smirk rather unsuccessfully.
"No, it's in my briefcase, thankfully. I'll text you later. Thank you." He rushed past him, a blush spreading throughout his face. He couldn't help it. He had followed his eyes to where Vale's went, and he wasn't used to that sort of scrutiny. Being invisible in a crowd was his specialty, and it helped him feel safe. Still, he hadn't exactly seen disapproval in his eyes.
Was it possible that Vale had been looking at him with desire? He squashed that thought immediately. He remembered the last time he had let his feelings get out of hand. He usually ended up making a fool of himself, thinking that every kind gesture was a hint at something more. No, he told himself. Not this time. That guy just wanted to fix what he ruined, and then he would be on his way, and Kip would still be alone. He just had to accept that.
He might not even text him, but he couldn't help but grip that bit of paper tightly as he walked.
* * *
A night of seafood salad and binge watching his favorite TV shows wasn't enough to set aside his depression that had flourished from earlier. He sat on the couch with one leg propped on the marble coffee table and tried to clear his head. He couldn't get Vale out of his mind, but he knew it was pointless to think about it. He was probably with that other guy, and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't like Kip. Especially after he would inevitably find out his secret.
He hadn't had bottom surgery, and wasn't sure when or if he would want to, and he knew that was a bit of a dead giveaway. As he had blogged before with the help of anonymity, he wasn't ashamed of being Trans. He just observed that it had a time and a place. When it came to gay-centralized conferences or parties, he had been fully out and proud, but out in the straight world day-to-day, it was just safer to not mention being Trans. Besides, he passed as male more often than not, and that was the whole point of transitioning. He was male.
He was still lonely though, and all of his recommended TV shows didn't help. Having a fully populated gay category was both a blessing and a curse. He opened up his phone's app store and searched for the dating app he had deleted earlier. He hovered over the Install button, but then quickly mass-closed his apps. He grimaced as if in pain, and willed himself to be strong. He didn't need those apps, he told himself. If he did get back on there, it would just be the same guys who treated him the same way. There wouldn't be anyone or anything new. He had to believe that, and not succumb to his weakness. Perhaps he just needed a bit of courage.
Before he could change his mind, he opened his texts and composed a new message. He plucked the scrap paper that Vale had given him from his coffee table. His heart thudded as he entered the number. Should he create a contact? Probably not. It would just a waste. He had already accumulated a bunch of numbers from guys that never texted him again, and he was reluctant to delete anything, just in case. It always hurt to text a guy he'd been talking to for a few days, but after a week of no response, to finally get "Who's this?" as a final response. He didn't want to be that guy for anyone, but so far that had been an unnecessary effort.
He quickly typed in the number and then the message. Then he erased the message. Then he typed a different one. Then he erased it and bit his lip. Why was this so hard? Just get it over with, he told himself. He's just a nice guy trying to do the right thing. Let him pay for the hearing aids and then quickly get out of your life. It will be less painful that way.
Kip: Hey, Veil. This is Kip.
He breathed out while hitting send, sending it irrevocably out into the satellites. It was short, and to the point. He tried to focus on TV again without checking his phone every few seconds, but it was largely unsuccessful. He finally felt the buzz of an incoming text, he almost jumped out of his skin. Luckily, he lived alone and that embarrassment would go to his grave. He quickly opened his phone to read the text.
Vale: It's spelled 'Vale', actually. :) How are you tonight? Dry, I hope? ;)
Kip bit his lip. The guy seemed friendly, but he was embarrassed he had spelled his name wrong. He quickly swiped across the screen to enter his reply.
Kip: Sorry. That's a really unique name. I sometimes struggle lip-reading things I'm unfamiliar with. I'm well. How are you?
