Brandon was lying on the couch, trying desperately to nap. He hadn't slept well last night, not at all well. First, he tossed and turned, next thing he knew, Bliss had snuck into his room and insisted he give her a quickie. No sooner had the petite blonde finished screwing him silly, then came Julee and she insisted on equal time. He thanked God they hadn't wanted to do him at once, although Julee gave him fair warning that would be expected shortly.
He made sure he was going to get a rest this afternoon, he worked his butt off to get ahead on his work, made sure Colonel was well fed so his demanding furry pal wouldn't yowl and snuggled into the couch to relax and close his eyes.
Brandon doubted he'd been asleep 30 minutes when he heard two very loud, very familiar voices yelling from outside and moving closer.
The sliding door to the pool whooshed open and Tabby stormed in, followed closely by Autumn. It wasn't hard to tell the girls had been arguing. There was no doubt the girls adored each other, but when Tabby and Autumn got into a fight, their tempers tended to flare.
"And I still say you don't know what the
fuck
you're talking about, Autumn!" Tabitha yelled.
"Ooookay ... what's going on this time?" Brandon said, groggily rising from the couch. The girls turned and saw him for the first time and realized they'd likely woken him up.
"Oh Uncle B, we woke you up, I'm so sorry!" Autumn said as she gave him a quick hug. Her look today was quite summery, she had on a short, gauzy sun dress and her hair was long and flowing, just a touch of makeup and a nice pair of high-heeled sandals completed the ensemble. It was one of the nice things about Autumn, she could effect almost any look she desired.
In contrast, Tabitha was in a pair of white GoGo boots, tiny halter tied in the middle, a lot of bare skin exposed and a pair of shorts that hugged her bottom tight and hid
nothing
. She had a look on her face that made her uncle a bit uncomfortable, for some reason, but he still got a hug of apology from her as well.
"Now, what's going on?" he asked.
"Oh, we're sorry Uncle B, don't sweat it!" Tabitha sighed, glaring at her sister.
"Yeah, it's nothing you should worry about!" Autumn said, hands on hips, standing her ground.
"I said ... what the
fuck
... is going on?" Brandon said, obviously not willing to accept that answer and more than a little annoyed with his nieces. Even Autumn was taken aback and it was usually quite difficult to get the better of her.
"
NOW!
" he barked and the girls knew he meant business.
A scowl crossed Autumn's usually-happy face. "Okay, we were talking about boyfriends, men, dating and stuff like that. I told her that sometimes me and Chase fight and then you know what this ...
idiot
... says to me?"
"No."
"She says ... hey, we alone?"
Brandon nodded. Bliss and Julee had gone over to Bliss' friend Jo's for the afternoon. "Okay, what did she say?"
Tabby didn't let Autumn finish. "I told her if she thought men were such shits, she should start doing it with girls."
Brandon was wide-awake now. Just when he thought his crazy family couldn't shock him any more, they proved him wrong. He looked at Tabitha, who had a total look of calm on her face, then over to Autumn, still looking quite pissed. Okay, what to do?
He looked over at curvy, cuddly Tabitha and somehow, he couldn't reconcile her bitterness with her usually-cheery personality. It just didn't click. "You're gay?" he asked her.
"Nope. I've had sex with boys, and I cum. But most of them are jerks, they act totally different around their buds, most of them are selfish in bed, or quick on the draw or they can't do foreplay
for shit
or .... "
Autumn cut her twin off. "I've told her that's never been my problem, although I do admit some guys could stand to be a bit wilder."
Tabitha gritted her teeth. "And I told
her
that I can't be bothered bitching and trying to play teacher to some of these dough-heads. So that's why I've been having sex with girls -- they're instinctively better, they smell better, they're softer and they don't ignore you if the game's on!"
Brandon chuckled. He couldn't argue with Tabitha's logic, he himself had been guilty of asinine behavior in his youth. Thankfully, he'd -- hopefully -- grown out of it.
Autumn was sitting on the easy chair now, long legs crossed, swinging. She'd thrown back her long, auburn hair and sighed, exasperated with her twin. "I told her that she didn't have to sleep with girls -- not that there is
anything
wrong with being bi -- but there was a simple solution to her problem and that's where we got rather vocal."
Brandon looked at his fit, beautiful niece, trying not to notice her long, swinging legs and be distracted. "Okay Autumn -- what was your solution?"
Without blinking, the ΓΌber-fit beauty said "I told her to start fucking older men."
Brandon was glad he hadn't been drinking a beer, Autumn's nonchalant attitude would've made him choke. Were all his nieces fuck-crazy, kinky
sluts
? Had he crossed over into the
Twilight Zone
? Any minute now, he expected to hear Rod Serling's voice saying "
You unlock this door with the key of imagination ...
"
He tried to keep his composure, he wasn't willing to let the twins get the upper hand. "Okay, and ...?"
Tabitha was obviously still peeved as she said "I told her that older guys weren't a solution. They may spend money, like Chase does, but they're
old
... and some of them are
letches
... and sorry, but I like
hot
guys and girls."
"Which is
another
thing that pissed me off, Uncle B!" Autumn said, her tone getting an edge to it.
"What's that?"
"She is being such an ass. Sis, I love you, but you can be such a dunderhead. Lots of older guys are hot. Look at Uncle B -- isn't
he
hot?"
Tabitha shook her head in affirmation. "Yeah, but how many guys like Uncle B are there? And how do I know he's good in bed?" The cuddly blonde winked at her uncle.
"Guess we'll just have to take his word for it.