Six years ago I had just finished my fifteenth job interview. This one, the most promising one yet, was with an accounting firm in the heart of town, next to the state capital building. The pay wasn't great, but I figured if I could keep my expenses low I could start renting my own apartment in six months and maybe rent or buy a small house in two or three years. I was feeling so confident about this prospective job that I celebrated by ordering an Uber to the apartment I shared with two other guys near the university instead of taking the Metro. The day was sunny so I decided to sit on a bench and enjoy the shade trees on the capital square at the corner of East Mifflin and North Pinckney Streets while I waited for the driver to arrive. I smiled overhearing the discussions and debates of the assembly people and senators as they either went to or came back from their lunch breaks. With very few exceptions the conversations were congenial; each person may not agree with the other's opinion, but at least they respected the other person for having one.
I was concentrating on an especially interesting conversation about the point spread on the next football game between the UW Badgers and the UM Gophers when a young short blond woman in a business suit approached me. "Excuse me sir, did you order an Uber?"
"I sure did," I replied as I gathered my cheap messenger briefcase and stood. "Lead the way to your car."
She smiled, motioned with her hand in the general direction of her car and said, "This way, sir." She took me to the curb of East Mifflin where a new silver Hyundai Accent was parked.
She opened the back door for me. I said, "Thank you," as I climbed in and sat. This was definitely a new car, it still had that smell and the little paper floor mats from the dealership.
"Your very welcome, sir." she said just before closing the door and walking to the driver's door.
After she sat down in the driver's seat and buckled her seatbelt she turned back to me and asked, "1002 College Court?"
"That's home for now." We continued to make small talk, I told her about the interview, she told me about how great it was to work for Uber, as she drove the car north east on the isthmus. "Are you sure you're headed in the right direction? College Court is to the west."
"According to the nav system this is the quickest way to your home. There must be a detour or backed up traffic on the normal route."
That seemed like a reasonable explanation. Especially for this town. With our small talk run dry I leaned back, got lost in my own thoughts and enjoyed the ride. I must have lost track of time because the next thing I noticed was the nav system saying, "The destination is on your right," and the driver sobbing. I looked out the window and saw lots of trees and no buildings. Definitely not where I live. I leaned forward in my seat and said, "Ah, excuse me, did you get lost?"
The driver turned her head, looked at me and cried louder. "I don't know how to use this...this...," she pointed to the nav console, "...stupid thing! I just got the car today and you're my second customer and I don't know the city and..."
"Hey, calm down. It's ok," I said, trying to calm her down. "Say, it's uncomfortable leaning like this to talk to you, can I sit up there?" I pointed to the passenger's seat.
She stared at me through tears. Her cheeks were streaked with running mascara. "We aren't supposed to let anyone beside us."
"You don't have to worry about me. I just want to get home. Maybe we can figure out the navigation stuff. Please?"
She thought about it for a few seconds, slowly nodded her head and warily said, "Ok."
When I'm in the front passenger's seat she moved as far to the left as she could. To calm her down I asked, "So, I'm your second customer? How was your first one?"
"They yelled at me!"
"Why did they do that?"
"I was going east on East Wilson."
"But East Wilson goes west."
"I KNOW!" My calming plans are dashed when she begins a fresh batch of tears and sobbing.
I rack my brain trying to figure out what to do to calm her down. Next up, "So you're not from the city?"
She shakes her head, "No. I'm...I'm from Marshall."
"Oh, that village on the east side of the county? I went through there last year. I thought it was very nice."
"I HATE IT! There's nothing to do! The only jobs are at the bike factory! I..."
"Ok...sorry. I'm just trying to calm you down."
"Well, you're doing a really SHITTY job at it!"
"I said I was sorry!" I sighed and continued, "Why don't we just figure out this," I pointed to the console, "ok?"
"Yeah," she said after a big sniff. "Let's do that." With her focused on that task instead of our predicament we both came to appreciate the finer details of good user interface design. Especially when the car's navigation system's design really sucked.
After half an hour of driving and a crash course on local roads she pulled up to the apartment complex where I lived. She turned to me and said, "Thank you for helping me."
"Hey, no problem. We gotta stick together, right?"
"Definitely."
I put my hand on the door handle, paused, and asked, "Are you comfortable in that business suit?"
"Fuck no...Sorry! That just slipped out!"
"Don't worry about it. There's something you need to know about this town. Even though it's the state capital, it's also a university town. Anyone who would expect an Uber driver to dress like you are would already have their own car. Work the university students. You need to dress like them, too. That's where you'll get the most business. And be yourself, ok?"
