Better to Eat You With

I was lost. There was no world, no sun, moon, forest or air. None of these things existed in that blinding moment. Corbin's mouth closed around my nipple again as his fingers thrust into me, and oh yes, there was no air for my lungs to find. I dug my nails into his sides, turning my head to try and reach his face, to find his lips. His mouth came to me, I let myself dissolve into the feeling of those lips, my hands tracing up the smoothness of his back, sweetly muscled and tense. I finally reached his wide shoulders, and I could feel the sway of his hair brushing my knuckles as we kissed.

His hands moved away from me, gave me my air back as he gripped my back, pressing me into him. I groaned into his mouth, the feeling of him pressing against me through his jeans was enough to drive me insane.

Somewhere in my brain, the rational side, screamed to be careful. He had broken me before when I let my guard down like this... Corbin bit my lip, sensing my mind wandering, and I bit his back, deciding in that instant that I didn't give a damn.

I wished for a moment that we were not in his kitchen, that I was not on the counter with his body pressed against mine, so that I might have taken more control. I flicked out my tongue as I bent my mouth to his throat. I tasted the salt of his sweat, the tease of something that seemed more sexual than what it really was. Yes, if I was in more control...

Hid hands were between us again, not on me this time, not on flesh. His jeans were sliding away between us before I had a chance to realize that he was undoing them.

He pressed his mouth hard against mine, his tongue thrusting into my mouth just before he thrust himself deep inside of me. This time a groan was not enough and I screamed into his mouth, tracing my tongue along his as I felt him press somewhere deep inside of me. Corbin slowly pulled out and drove into me all over again, his hands firmly on my ass now, pressing me against his body, not allowing me a chance to escape his thrusts.

I pulled my mouth from him, struggling to breathe as my nails ripped down his back driving a groan from his lips as I nipped at his throat, wrapping my legs around his hips. His speed picked up and I felt the thick build of a deep orgasm. The kind that you only get on your own, on those nights that you tease yourself and let it build.

Corbin's mouth was suddenly on my throat, kissing sucking, licking. I shouted for him as he picked up speed, in and out of me. I went over the edge in that moment, my moan filling the kitchen as the heat built and finally rushed out of me in that moment. I tightened around his hard cock and felt his body go still with mine, felt him pulsing inside of me as he lost himself. His mouth never left my throat and the moan he let out drove shivers down my spine.

I shut my eyes and nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing in his smell as the hormones drifted away from me. I took in the way he always smelled of gun oils and exhaust and for some reason I loved him for it. I wanted to roll in it, carry it with me always. I kissed his chin and felt my soul harden, prepared. We had lost control again. We had lost ourselves to each other again. This never ended well.

Corbin shifted, pulling himself out of me and pulled away completely. His warmth was gone, his hormones had died in that instant of release, and he had come back to himself. He was redoing his buttons on his jeans when I opened my eyes.

I searched for his deep brown eyes, and found them hidden in the mess of his hair as he stared at the ground. Against all I had told myself that I wouldn't let him hurt me, I felt the pang roll through my heart anyways. I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I slid from the counter, fixing my skirt and picking up my panties. I stared at Corbin and found myself looking at him as I had the first time I'd ever seen him.

He's a tall man, far into the six foot range. His cheek bones are high and wide covered perpetually in a five o' clock shadow. His broad shoulders, hinting at his life of manual labor the same way that his huge rough hands did. His hair was normally short, but he'd been gone for the last two months, and apparently hadn't found anyone he wanted to cut his hair.

That's how tonight had gotten started. Corbin had been sitting on my porch when my last client left my house. He had been waiting for me in the long absence of seeing him and had invited me over to dinner. A brush of a hand, a quiet kiss of a shoulder. These were the things that had led to my destruction.

He finally met me eyes, and I felt my insides rip and part of me tumble out. There was pain in those eyes, and I knew the speech. I had it memorized. I closed my eyes, turning away, heading for the door.

"Kate, please. Let me explain..."

"Explain what?" Did I sound bitter? Probably, but I was proud that my voice stayed steady, not sign of how shaky I felt.

His voice was strong and clear, no sign of indecision. "You know as much as me that this was a mistake, we never should have even started this."

I snorted, not the most lady like thing to do but I couldn't help it as the rip inside was filled up with anger. "The only reason it's a mistake on my part, is because I fucked you even knowing that you were going to throw me away once you came. That is my mistake."

He was silent, and I prayed that the words cut as deep into him as his rejection had cut into me. His voice was small now, "You know why I can't keep doing this."

I knew why, mostly because he never let it go. How many times had he told me now, that we could never happen again because of her. Corbin's wife had been murdered over a decade ago while Corbin was out of town. No one had found her until he came home. He was destroyed, and still in love with her. How many girls can say that they were dumped because of a dead girl?

Don't get me wrong, I used to feel for him. I used to feel guilty whenever I was angry at him for leaving me again. Thing about that though, it eventually just becomes an excuse. A cop out so I don't get pissed when I wake up with an empty bed where he had laid.

I bit my lip and pressed the door open, turning to look over my shoulder at him. "I'd believe you, if you hadn't been telling me the same damn story for six years now. Goodbye Corbin, thanks for reminding me what men are about."

I closed my eyes and let my memories take me home, it wasn't a far walk through our adjoining properties to get back to my house, but in that moment it was an eternity.

Corbin didn't open the door and follow me. We had been playing this game long enough where I knew he wouldn't , but I couldn't help but hoping that there was a chance he'd come after me one day.

As much as I hated him sometimes, I loved the bastard. I think that's what makes this worse. I know how the nights end, I know he'll leave me before the sun comes up, but I'm willing to fight for that moment, as brief as it is where I feel loved.

I imagine sometimes, that once I had a man who loved me. A man who held me in the night, and was still there in the day. Someone to come home to, to shop for, to live for. Once, maybe I had that.

Pain ripped through me again and I felt a damn tear roll down my cheek.

I knew I was wrong to think I ever had someone who loved me. I had woken up ten years ago, without a memory of another person in my mind. I had woken up knowing who the damn president was, knowing the periodic table, but not with one memory about my family, my friends, my love life.

I knew my name had been Kate, and that my favorite color was red. Simple things, little things that we don't concentrate on, those were the things that I remembered. I had woken up in the back of van, on the way DeKalb Illinois.

The driver had been a man named Michael. He had told me that he had found me in the woods, naked and alone. I had been shot in the head and left to die. As if that wasn't enough, he had also told me that it wasn't the worse of my problems. Before I had been shot, I had been infected with a strain of a decease called lycanthropy.

It had taken most of the drive for him to explain everything to me.