ONE
We all make mistakes in our lives and right now I'm very aware of two really big ones, and it looks as though my marriage is being torn apart because of not getting these two things right.
My first big mistake was to chose the wrong sister, ignoring the urging of a mother trying to marry off her less attractive daughter. My mother-in-law had confronted me about this when Gloria and I were wallowing in ongoing discussion about setting a date to announce our engagement. Our cuddling and sweet talking send her po-faced sister Liz stomping through the house in fits of pique and tears. Liz hated me at that time when wedding bells were in the air, the jealous bitch.
The second mistake came later, eight years more or less. We were childless – I blamed Gloria and she blamed me but neither of us had the guts to be examined medically in case the blame came home to roost. Who wants to find out their powder is wet and useless, huh?
Well, I would rue the day about being pig-headed and refusing to be tested.
It all began when one of Gloria's friends announced she was expecting her third child. Gloria started to panic as she'd just turned twenty-eight and worried that the cut-off date for successful conception was looming. I reckoned that date came nearer the age of forty but she asked how would I know and anyway why argue over numbers - but we did.
She tried a new ploy in pressuring me to get my gear tested, promising if I was certificated as being A-1 for producing babies she'd get tested, but we both knew she was lying.
There has to be trust and understanding to make a marriage work as well as cooperation and goodwill, right? Great textbook stuff, but you know textbook authors are often insulated from reality.
Being a victim of ear-bashing and in sexual denial because Gloria wouldn't roll over meant my life sucked, so at work when the CEO bribed me with an under-the-table offer of $10,000 cash if I worked a 12-hour night shift as project engineer on a highway by-pass of the small town of Oakland Ridge, I took the 13-month contact.
That ten grand slipped into my secret boat fund. I would also be able to get my tax-paid night-shift and living away from home allowances paid into that account.
Gloria would find out about my deceit when I bought the boat but would be delighted, as she was also crazy about fishing; I knew she was embarrassed that we fished from an aluminum 9-footer with an outboard only a little more powerful than her cake mixer. Good for trolling, though.
My business-like decision to take the contract produced the inevitable row.
"Why did you accept that job away from home without discussing it with me?" she ranted.
I could have said to get away from your constant bickering over reproductive tests, darling, but instead I lied and said, "The CEO said 'take the job Mike, otherwise go find yourself another employer'."
"But he can't do that, can he?"
Yes, but not without leaving the company open to me claiming big damages in the employment court for breach of my personal employment contact. But why tell her that? She'd suggest accept the situation and then we'd engage a top industrial relations lawyer and seek a million bucks or more in damages for wrongful termination and loss of earnings and future benefits.
"Er, yes, he can do that."
"That's criminal."
"Yeah, another example of white collar crime, eh love?"
She became sympathetic and for one hopeful moment I thought I was going to be offered sex.
Three weeks into my night shift job two hundred miles up country I receive a phone call from Liz.
"Gloria has a lover."
Now, I did say Gloria's sister Liz at one time hated my guts, but she'd got over that by the time of the engagement. Six years later Liz got married but the sod bashed her and it all turned to custard, ending in divorce last year.
When Gloria began to keep her legs closed on me recently, I'd idly thought that Liz might help milk my balls as she was probably missing being humped as well. But she's a hard-nosed bitch and I thought she'd probably end up telling Gloria I was bonking her. Well, here she was phoning me, attempting to be my closest confidante.
"Pardon me?"
"You heard, but you really don't want to hear it: Gloria is being screwed by a guy. I thought you should know. Will you divorce her?"
"Er, I'll think about it, Liz, but would need proof that it's happening."
"Perhaps I can help get proof?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"You don't seem to be particularly worried about my disclosure?"
"I'm in a state of shock, Liz. Also Gloria hasn't been particularly warm to me in recent months so she'd probably got randy through not getting it."
"Surprise, surprise – she's told me about putting you on hold; she thinks your sperm is no good so why should she bother having you ruining her hair and scratching her insides because you are lazy about cutting your finger nails."
I was shocked: Liz tells her sister things like that?
"Did Gloria tell you that?"
"Come on, Mike, you know it's the truth and yes she has mentioned it from time to time, quite often in recent months actually."
"Hmmm."
"Is all that you can say, Mike?"
"I'm in shock."
"Should I come up and attend to your needs?"
I almost dropped my phone. Liz offering her pussy to me?
"It's all work, sleep and no play here, Liz. The weather's put us two days behind schedule already and I have to crack the whip."
"Well, it's an open offer, Mike. I love you. Give me a call some time.
"Bye."
I put the phone down in a daze. Life can get so damn complicated.