Chapter One; Beth Makes a Discovery
Now and then I awake in the night, scarcely able to believe my good fortune. I'm going to share with you how I, Elizabeth, Beth, for short, blundered into an alternate universe, and discovered the ongoing amazement my life has become.
I've always considered myself an average middle-class housewife and mother. I met my husband of eleven-plus years, Rick, when we were in college. We dated and eventually did the "beast with two-backs" a few times before Rick proposed. He definitely rang my chimes and I didn't hesitate to accept. So two weeks after Rick graduated with a shiny new degree in Computer Science, we were married.
Since that magic moment, we've spent years doing our married thing, plodding on, watching our friends and neighbor's marriages go up in smoke, congratulating one another on the quality of our relationship.
We were living the middle-class, good-life--two kids, a boy and a girl, and a nice house in the suburbs. My husband had his work and was successfully climbing the corporate ladder, the kids were both doing well in school, and me--I was dying inside.
Every one of my days was a carbon copy of the one before--running errands, marketing, fixing meals. I was busy, but bored and unhappy. Rick and I never argued, we didn't fight, we carefully avoided talking about us. What we did talk about were well-worn subjects--the bills, the kids, and, in general, anything but our relationship. Something was very wrong and whatever that something was, it was killing our marriage. I couldn't put my finger on the trouble, but it was splitting us apart, isolating us one from the other.
I recalled the excitement we had shared in the early years; Rick getting a good job, our first house, my pregnancies, and wondered where it had gone. What currently passed for excitement in my life was chauffering the kids to soccer, skating, school, and whatever. All boring, and what was worse, my imaginary crystal ball couldn't show me anything fresh and new in my future.
Even our sex life, once a source of delight, had become routine--same day, same position--just another chore. I suspected that the same malaise was affecting Rick. He was starting to miss our regular get-togethers, always with a good excuse, but I had my suspicions. Was he getting a little on the side?
Now that the kids were older, I toyed with the idea of going back to school or finding a job, but Rick was not in favor of me working. Not having a degree, any job I could get would barely cover childcare and I was easily two years away from finishing my degree in Psychology. We had plenty of money, he told me, and said that spending my time nurturing the kids was more important than extra cash.
So, my life just limped along until the fateful morning when I made the discovery, the smoking gun, the reason why my husband had lost interest in sex.
Rick returned home from a business trip late on a Thursday night. I hate doing laundry, but I've compromised with myself and make Friday my once-a-week laundry morning.
After he went to work, I decided that as long as I was doing the wash, I'd do it all and unpacked his suitcase. What fell out of his dirty clothes bag nearly gave me a heart attack. I sat down on the bed, took a deep breath and struggled to regain my composure.
Shock quickly gave way to feelings of rage and betrayal. Most of all, a burning desire to get even exploded within me like a hand grenade.
That dirty son-of-a-bitch, I said to myself, holding up the incriminating, black, thong panty. About a size three, I guessed; I wear a five. My cheating shithead of a husband had bagged some skinny-hipped, young stuff. I considered sniffing to see if the damned thing reeked of semen, but resisted the urge. It had been worn though and, more importantly-- what the hell was it doing in my husband's laundry?
I cried while I did the wash. After drying and folding everything, I arranged the guilty panty prominently on top of the pile of Rick's clothes and placed it on his side of the bed. I wondered how my shit-heel husband would try to lie his way out of his pantygate.
More than eleven years of my life I had devoted to being a helluva faithful wife and dedicated soccer mom. Now, that fucking panty had fallen out of my husband's overnight bag and made all those years a big lie. Was betrayal to be my reward for being virtuous? No way!
I sat down, drank a cup of coffee and considered my options. I could confront Rick when he came home from work or I could be somewhere else and maybe cool off a bit before I faced him.
I tend to choose avoidance rather than confrontation having learned early on that Rick is a way better talker than I am and is very good at using his brand of logic to disarm and confuse me. I needed time to think, so I packed my overnight bag.
In retrospect, if I had decided on a face-to-face with, him this would be a far different story--essentially the same old tale I had lived for eleven years and not worth telling, but it didn't happen that way.
The moment I found myself picking out sexy undies and packing my favorite dress, a little, black, cocktail item, I knew what I was going to do. This time would be different--no BS, no talk--I was going to get even.
Pulling on fresh slacks and a blouse, I carried my bag and dress out to the car, then I called my sister, Mary Ann, who lives on the other side of town. All I told her was that I was having a little personal crisis and needed to be alone for a bit. She agreed to keep the kids. I couldn't sit still, so I cleaned house until they got home from school, then I helped them pack their things for an overnight and we headed for Mary Ann's. The kids were curious, but not overly pushy as their aunt loves to spoil them rotten and they adore her.
I dropped them off and told my sister I'd be in touch. She just smiled and nodded. What a great girl.
I headed across town and got myself a very nice room with a king-sized bed at the Hilton. I called down and they were able to take me at the salon. I spent the next couple of hours getting a major overhaul.
After that I returned to my room and just luxuriated in being alone. I felt unexpectedly powerful. I had taken charge of my life and, for the moment at least, I wasn't a wife, I wasn't a mother. I was Elizabeth. I contemplated the possibilities offered by my new-found freedom and when I imagined a revenge scenario, rather than feeling guilty, I discovered little tendrils of desire growing within me.
By now, it was dinner time and I hadn't eaten all day. I was ravenous so I ordered from room service. A tossed salad, a petite sirloin with mushroom sauce, and a baked potato washed down with a small bottle of Merlot dealt handsomely with at least some of my physical needs. It was time to address the others.
I took off all my clothes and stood in front of the full-length mirrors on the closet doors, surveying my assets. The salon technicians had really done a superb job. The hairdresser had managed to make my housewife hairdo into a flattering, dark-blonde, pageboy that curled attractively next to my cheeks. My finger and toenails were painted a wicked scarlet.
What my eyes told me was that my body wasn't perfect, but it was definitely acceptable. My breasts sagged a bit more than when I was twenty--a couple of kids will do that. However, there was no doubt they were fuller and that was a good thing.
I turned to inspect my butt and liked what I saw. All that Stair Master crap had paid off. My ass was still nice and tight, no cellulite to be seen. I had a few stretch marks on my abdomen, but they weren't obvious. The overall package was still quite presentable.
I made my decision. I was ready to have some fun and get even with Rick. I'd step out tonight and make a present of myself to some lucky guy. Birth control was no problem as my tubes were tied after number two. STD's were of some concern, but I'd pick up some condoms and I'd also pick up a respectable man. In my present frame of mind, if I did catch the clap, I'd positively enjoy giving it to Rick.
I put on my very own size-five thong, a sexy little matching, push-up bra that really accentuated my cleavage, black thigh-highs, and last, that form-fitting, shiny-black, cocktail dress.
A sexy pair of Manolo Blahnik stiletto heels that I'd bought at the hotel boutique just that afternoon, the most expensive shoes I'd ever had on my feet, completed my ensemble. A little lipstick, a touch of makeup, some perfume, and I was ready for adventure.
I'm making this all sound pretty much matter-of-fact, but it wasn't. The truth of the matter is that I was nervous as hell. I had that same queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach I get when I step into a roller coaster car to begin that long steep climb to what may turn out to be the ride of a lifetime or conversely--simply an opportunity to heave my guts out.
I stopped by the convenience store and made my condom purchase--another concrete step along the path to my revenge scenario. The salesgirl gave me a knowing smirk as I paid for the rubbers with my credit card not caring if Rick saw them on the statement.
I walked across the lobby and into the cocktail lounge. Okay, maybe I strutted just a little as I crossed the attractive room all decorated in shades of peach and mauve. Two couples were out on the tiny floor, dancing to music provided by a talented, black musician, who was playing one of those trick pianos with a built-in rhythm section.
I headed toward a convenient stool at the bar. Two men were seated several places away and I was pleased when they checked me out with obvious interest. I gave the room a quick once over; men outnumbered women about two to one. I remembered having seen something on the reader board in the lobby about a convention when I checked in. That might explain why the odds were so favorable.
Anyway, I slid my butt onto the stool remembering that old warning about not turning to face the room unless you want to be mistaken for a hooker. I was prepared to do that as a last resort if I didn't attract a man, but I wasn't too worried.
I ordered a glass of Chardonnay, took a sip, and my heart skipped a beat. Shit, I was still wearing my wedding and engagement rings. Quickly, I justified my little oversight. I wasn't setting out to fool anyone. I'd make sure any man who hooked up with me knew what he was getting--an angry housewife.