My dreams are usually quite vivid. I've always been a heavy sleeper and from discussions that I've had with other people, I've found that those who sleep more deeply tend to have more animated and fascinating dreams in general, but this dream... this was like no other dream that I have ever had in my life... I woke up so incredibly disheartened when I realized that I had lost him. I laid there for two more hours trying everything I could to fall back asleep just to see him once more and when I realized that my slumber would not embrace me anytime soon, I finally got out of bed downtrodden and resigned to my frustration. All day long I was haunted with this lingering wish that it was time for me to go back to bed, but I was also haunted by this dreadful fear that by the time I got back to my dreamscape, he wouldn't be there anymore and I didn't know if my heart could take that disappointment. Mostly the fear tugging at my stomach was that he had learned the truth about me and left, just like all of the others had done. I think part of me felt so connected to him because I had this notion that he would have accepted it and maybe stayed for just a while longer – long enough for me to experience some of the happiness I had once known as a young girl.
He was enormous, standing at least two metres tall. He was so thick and muscular, so unlike the men I usually meet or even desire to be with. He had a crown of brown hair, slightly longer than a brush cut, with his thick locks just beginning to turn into the tight curls that would likely encompass his entire head if he let his hair grow out much longer. His eyes were a deep pool of dark chocolate, so dark in fact that it was impossible to tell where his pupils ended and where his irises began. His eyes were so piercing and enchanting that it was difficult to look away from him. He was clean shaven and well groomed and looked like the type to guard the Prime Minister - in fact, he felt important like that in this dream, though I am uncertain why he was dressed so plainly when I saw him. He had this simply incredible presence and I was so drawn to him, despite myself that I couldn't help but stare at him unabashedly.
In this dream, I was at a reunion for the academé that I attended in Paris and this seemed strange to me, even within the context of this dream because I would never really want to see any of them again. I had very little in common with those students while I attended there a decade ago, and likely had even less in common with them now. Perhaps the dream was meant as a cruel reminder that I am not as young as I once was and how much of my life has been wasted with the path that I have taken since then – I am uncertain.
As I walked around having seemingly important conversations with faceless but familiar figures, someone stopped me to tell me an "Etienne" wanted to speak with me. I was confused, since I couldn't recall any Etienne that had gone to school with me, but as it was a dream, I just went with it and walked over in the direction that the man pointed me to. Etienne was seated humbly, nearly hunched over and this position did not reveal his massive girth at first. What was most amusing and anachronistic, was that he sat quietly as if waiting for the headmaster, looking down at his large, rough hands fidgeting nervously with them as he awaited their arrival.
"Etienne?" I asked nervously and doubtful of whether or not I even had the right man.
He looked up and my heart raced as his face brightened – with a smile as if a young child whose lost toy were returned to him.
"You've come... I never thought you would..." he said softly.
"You have been waiting for me?" I asked stunned, "For how long?"
"For nearly ten years..." he replied.
I stepped back. My world was spinning around me. He stood up and put his hands forth pleadingly. It was then that I realized how large and overpowering he was and became even more anxious.
