An Impermissible Seduction

An Impermissible Seduction

ONE

Hi. My name is Isla, and I thought I'd share with you a few thoughts and experiences, and where it has led me. Some will agree with me. Others will be horrified. But I am what I am and I make absolutely no excuses for it. So let's start.

I've always thought men are such ugly things. Hairy and rough. And that one defining feature so many women crave is, well ... ugly times ten. A veiny monster that squirts the most foul-smelling, and tasting, gunk I've ever seen. Not surprising it's so repulsive when manufactured in that horrid little bag that looks like a tiny screwed-up paper carrier that's been left out in the rain. Yuk.

I'd followed the crowd as I'd matured, pretending I fancied the boys until I was convinced I did. At eighteen I'd even decided I wanted to experience every young girl's ultimate aim. I wanted to get myself fucked. I didn't care about romance. I just wanted the deed.

I've always been open about sex. I don't have many inhibitions and even for my first time, I was happy to just do it with someone willing.

I guess that's why it happened. I wanted sex. Who with wasn't as important as the act. I just wanted to try it and experience intercourse.

He was a couple of years older than me. A decent enough lad. A good job with prospects, a nice car and, importantly, well groomed. Others thought he was handsome. My Mum would have considered him ideal husband material. I just saw him as fuckable. Even back then I hated the hairiness and Wesley looked a good prospect once he'd let slip he was waxed.

We weren't in love or dating or anything. He was just part of the gang I mixed with at that age. And he was willing.

We did it at his parent's house. It was a Wednesday afternoon during a school holiday. My last one before final exams. His parents were working and it was raining which had put paid to our group of friends visiting the local zoo as we'd planned. Instead, the six of us were holed up in McDonald's passing time.

Other than us there were two girls and two boys. Budding relationships that hadn't gone so far.

After two coffees I'd needed a pee. It was while I was sitting in the toilet listening to the tinkle of urine in the bowl I made my final decision. Wesley had made clear he fancied me so I was confident it would be a yes.

When I got back, everyone was busy talking over one another so I just slipped myself onto his lap with an arm around his neck and distracted him.

"Wanna slip away?" I whispered.

Wesley was instantly attentive.

"My place?"

I smiled and stood up.

By that point, the others had noticed and our announcing we were leaving brought exactly what I'd expected.

"Oh yeah. He's the man."

"We know what you're doing."

"Need a condom?"

"Fuck off." Wesley was bright red as I led him away. I probably was too but I was concentrating on the heat in my groin and I was kind of enjoying the attention. Losing my virginity was going to be a big thing and I did want my friends to know. Jane had made a big announcement for her first time. And just about every time after that to be honest. She'd gone a bit wild.

I heard the final cheer as the door closed behind us.

"Come on.

Fuck what they think."

Wesley put his arm around me and I huddled to escape the rain and wind. Very unsuccessfully. It was a ten-minute walk and we were soaked.

"Christ." He flicked the heating on.

"You can hang your clothes over a radiator to dry."

"So you're assuming I'm getting naked then?"

He looked suddenly nervous, as if he'd misread me.

"I er..."

I laughed and pulled my thick jumper off. The sight of my tits sitting comfortably in a lacy bra silenced him. I swayed seductively and grinned.

"Your turn."

His jacket went to the floor and he stopped as if expecting it to be one for one.

"Oh come on. That's cheating. You have more clothes than me. At least the shirt as well."

"Fair enough."

Underneath he had a tee shirt.

"I'm not sure this is fair at all."

"Why?"

"I see you in a tee shirt most days. You don't see me in just my bra do you?"

He shrugged.

"Spose not."

That went as well and I saw his chest. Thankfully he did wax which removed one worry. But were we just going to play strip in the hallway?

"Yeah. This is a shit game. A man's chest is no big thing.

Let's go to your bedroom and get naked."

He didn't need any more encouragement than that. I followed him upstairs. By then my pussy was leaking and demanding some attention.

In his bedroom we stood looking at one another, waiting for something to happen. We just weren't very good at the whole kissing and cuddling thing. Wesley made the first move. By move, I mean, suggestion.

"So how do you ... shall we just undress?" He asked.

It seemed practical if not very romantic. But then I wasn't there for romance. I just wanted his cock in me. The experience. The pleasure. I wanted fucking. Wow. I loved that word. I assumed I was going to love doing it even more.

"Yes. Okay."

I turned away as I peeled my jeans down my legs as though they were a second skin. I peaked to be sure he was following through. He was. And he was watching me. I straightened up and turned to stand in just my underwear.

"You're hot as fuck." He said.

"Pants." I said as I reached for my bra clip.

That was all he had remaining. My fingers held the clip but didn't move. Not until he did. In my mind, all I could hear was a voice. This is it. This is it. Isla you're going to do it.

This was the moment. And also the point where my blasé approach threatened to desert me. Wesley was braver and that final garment slid away. I took off my bra and dropped my panties as quickly as I could. I almost leapt at his bed to slip under the covers.

"Oh my god. I'm naked in your room." I squealed.

"In your bed."

Wesley came in after me, his hands on my waist pulling me to him. I realised I'd never even kissed him, or any boy before, as our lips met. It was a wet, sloppy kiss with no finesse. Two teenagers pushing their tongues about because we knew that was what we were supposed to do.

His body did feel warm against me though. And I liked its smoothness. His face was a bit scratchy. Half a day's growth was enough for me to notice and I wasn't so keen on that.

I was analysing everything. This was my first time and I wanted it to be fun and memorable. I wanted to be able to remember what his body felt like later. And how it felt having his hands squeezing my tits. That was nice. Not as exciting as I'd hoped, but nice. So were his kisses as he slid down my body, touching me everywhere. The covers went with him leaving me properly naked on his bed in the daylight from open curtains. He could see me, see my tits. But I could see him too.

Oh my god. He was looking at my pussy. I shuddered. A mixture of fear and need.

"Oh fuck."

His tongue was on me and his fingers.

"Uhh."

Like with the most intense masturbation, my pussy gushed, soaking his face. For a moment I was absorbed by the thought that I was being eaten out. Soft licks and fingers peeled me open as he ventured deeper.

"Aw fuck."

Then I started to worry I'd cum and pushed him away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I ..."

That's when I realised I had to return the favour.

"I just want your cock in my mouth."

I pushed him over and laid between his legs. That's when it all started to go wrong.

I suppose it was what I expected. A hot rod of ugly gristle. It didn't look appetising at all and it felt weird as I stroked it.

"Oh, that's fucking brilliant. Uhh."

Wesley was happy and I giggled knowing I was pleasing him. But. It was still ugly. I hoped it would be better in my mouth. Everyone said it was. Jane talked about it all the time. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at the thing as I put my lips around it.

"Fuck, Isla. That's amazing.

Uhh."

Not for me it wasn't. It was terrible. With hindsight, I should have spoken up. I should have been mature and admitted I'd made a mistake. That it was awful for me. I didn't because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I faked it. Right up until I tasted his leakage. It was horrid. Disgusting. I couldn't take the possibility that he might cum in my mouth.

I stopped and rolled away, inviting him to touch me. To play with my tits and rub my pussy. I wasn't sure I wanted him to by that point but it was a distraction. Preferable to pleasuring him like that any more.

"Uh."

His fingers felt kind of nice. Like my own only without the foreknowledge of knowing how they would touch me or move around.

I closed my eyes when he suckled and manhandled my tit. Again I suppose it was okay. It was just that by then my arousal had deserted me and my analysis was becoming more honest. His body still had a coarseness about it. It lacked the softness of my own. Too many muscles. And his hands were rough. I wanted it over with.

"Do it." I said.

"Put it in."

Wesley lifted himself over me, his hips pushing my thighs apart. I suddenly felt so exposed. Like I was giving up my soul. I didn't know I was doing it but I was stiffening, becoming a ridged board. Wesley noticed.

"Relax." He said.

I froze as he pushed his dick into me. I felt sort of violated. I know it was what I wanted, that it was all part of sex and becoming an adult. But having that thing inside me disgusted me. Some people find it painful. Sometimes there's a little blood. I escaped that which by then was probably the reason I didn't panic and back out.

I went through the motions. I liked Wesley and I didn't want his first time to be a failure just because I couldn't respond normally.

"Uh. Uh. Uh."

Those were the sounds you were supposed to make when someone was fucking you, right? All groans and gasps of joy?

I suppose it was sort of a nice feeling having my pussy rubbed internally, but a dildo could achieve the same thing. It just wasn't the magical thing it was supposed to be. It was like masturbating when I was very tired and not in the mood.

"Uh."

The whole thing became a chore I felt obligated to complete. I faked my orgasm. His excitement and a sense that his dick had become harder told me when. I made one last gasp and went rigid before flopping. A reenactment of what I'd seen in the very last porn vid I'd watched.

Wesley came quickly after that and I lay frozen in horror as my pussy was filled with an alien warmth.

In the bathroom after I'd wiped myself profusely and peed to wash myself out. In truth, I wanted a bath. I felt dirty. I wish I'd taken Zac up on his offer of a condom.

I went back and lay with him, tolerating his attempt at delicate kisses and the fresh mauling he gave my tit.

"That was wonderful." Wesley said.

"Mmm."

I couldn't bring myself to agree and I still didn't want to hurt his feelings on what for him would be a memorable event. My failure. Not his.

"You're so fucking hot."

His arms were around me. There was no doubt he was enamoured with me, or that his experience was so much greater than mine.

I remember looking at his back where he lay over me to suckle my nipple. It just lacked a softness and did nothing for me. His butt was equally unattractive. I wished I could take the last hour back.

I smiled and said a few nice words before making an excuse to escape. A break in the rain justified my going home at just the right moment before I cracked and told him the truth. That the event had been horrible.

I'd left his house feeling sick. They say you never forget your first time. Well, I can attest to that. But for very different reasons. I'd hated it. Every single second. Indeed, I couldn't figure out why I had gone through with it without stopping him. Partly not to hurt him. And I suppose I expected it to get better. I'd thought the next part of the experience would be where it clicked and everything became that wonderful thing everyone raves about. Well, it hadn't.

After that, and much to Wesley's disappointment I crossed boys off my list.

I did take one thing away from that day though. At the time I'd thought it the dumbest thing in the world. A foolish notion that it couldn't happen the first time. Stupid. Stupid. I knew better than that. It had happened. And nine months later I'd given birth to my beautiful daughter.

I won't pretend the early years trying to care for a child and hold down a steady job were easy. Even with Mum's help it wasn't. It was a gruelling experience littered with financial challenges, regrets and trauma. Wesley had helped initially. But he had another girl by then. One who did enjoy fucking I assumed. Six months in I realised he wasn't that committed. Even the financial support dried up and I chose not to chase him. I had a job and with the help of my mum, I got by. It was tough and I had some bad days. I even lost a job for being unreliable in that first year. But things did get better. I even got a better job that set me on a course to decent earnings.

Eighteen years on and I wouldn't have it any other way.

TWO

In the intervening years, I'd built a life. I worked in advertising. It paid well and came with the added positive that I understood assertiveness and how to promote myself out of work as well as in.

Yeah. I always presented a perfect image to the world. A relatively successful and independent woman. I used makeup sparingly and I dressed carefully in clothes that accentuated my figure. I used my legs and my tits to capture attention. Not how a tart would. Always subtly. Imagination is such an aphrodisiac. Show just enough that minds filled in the rest.

Most clients were men, especially fifteen years ago, and I did it with purpose. A good-looking woman could hold a customer where a man couldn't. The right smile, an accidental brush of a hand or the flash of a thigh could keep an account over any opposition.

I also had another target in mind. A much smaller and harder-to-find prey. Women. After my encounter with Wesley and of course, the distraction of pregnancy I was eventually ready to join the dating scene again. Only this time, I'd accepted that there was a reason I fantasised about girls to get myself off. I adjusted my target audience and sought out female company.

I'd had a second first time about three years after Wesley. One which was memorable for much better reasons.

Lottie was older than me. Probably by ten years. A supervisor at work who made no secret of her liking for girls. She was a lesbian and open about it. I liked her. In fact, Lottie was my first girl crush. She was pretty, confident, and comfortable with her sexuality. I looked up to her as a mentor in life as well as work. It was she who taught me how to dress and how to figure out who was receptive to a little fun. Some of it through copying. Some just by asking her once she knew what I was. I think she sort of took me under her wing and guided me in all aspects of my life for a while.

Of course, she wanted something in return and it was something I was happy to give. It's pretty shit reaching twenty-two, knowing you're hot and never getting a fuck. I was ready to fix that.

I only did it with Lottie the once, something that later became a pattern for much the same reason. Unlike me, she had someone to go home to and her opportunities to play away were limited.

One opportunity was a work do. A team building day with a meal and drinks to finish off.

"So. No boyfriend. Is there a reason for that?"

I reddened and sipped my drink as I glanced around at our colleagues. They were making the most of our night out and no one was interested in listening to us.

"Perhaps." I answered nervously.

"Hmm. I thought there might be."

That was when she touched my leg under the table. I gave a twitch at its unexpectedness but didn't move away. I smiled as her eyes focused on me. More sure. The touch became a whole hand, grasping my thigh, pressing sideways to part my legs. I sipped my drink to calm my nerves.

"We've always got on so well haven't we Isla."

"I think so."

Christ my blood was pumping. There was a tremor taking hold of me and I held the glass hard against the table so my hands and a shaking drink didn't betray me. Although I think the heat in my cheeks had already done that. Her hand moved higher with a soft caressing.

"We're good together. We make a great team in the office."

"I like it when we're out of the office. Like tonight." I encouraged.

I glanced around to be sure no one was looking.

"There's a few making their way home. I think things are winding down." She said seeing where my eyes went.

"Yes."

I wished I had her confidence. That hand was high up my thigh under my skirt and I was struggling not to mimic Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.

"Mmm."

So perfect in her touch. She rubbed my inner thigh where it was at its most sensitive. Her fingertips reached the thin material containing my sex with just the lightest of a touch. So delicate only my hypersensitive pussy knew it'd happened.

"Oh fuck."

I was done hiding my arousal and began squirming in my chair. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying out. There was no way she couldn't feel my dampness and heat. To me, it felt like I was oozing gallons.

"Out of the office sounds good." She said sweetly.

Then as suddenly as she'd started she stopped and finished her drink.

"I should give you a ride home."

I could feel myself quivering. Would it just be a ride home? I was a little fearful, but I hoped it would be a ride of a different kind.

"Thank you. It's a little out of your way. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?"

I was virtually offering myself, but by then I was desperate not to have her just be the kind lady who saw me home safely. I didn't think there was much risk of that.

"Come on.

I'm sure we'll think of something on the way."

Her Audi was in the car park out the back and we slipped away without being noticed. Moments later she was manoeuvring out onto the main road.

"It's a nice night." She said.

"Wanna stop off and chat for a bit?"

No. I didn't want to chat. I saw the sign for the out-of-town shopping complex.

"There's a spot behind the supermarket that's quiet." I said.

"I know it."

It was a lane that went nowhere along the back of the building. It'd once cut back out into the main road but increasing traffic had made the council decide to cut the access off and it'd become a forgotten backwater used only by occasional couples hooking up for a quickie.

A dense tree line and shrubbery hid the supermarket from the housing estate behind. In front of it was a neatly trimmed grass verge that was just wide enough to park a car under the shadow of the trees.

No one came down here, especially at night. Not unless, like us, they were looking for somewhere undisturbed to fuck.

It was dark when she killed the engine and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Lottie was turned in her seat looking at me when I could see her again.

I was nervous, more than I had been with Wesley. With him, I knew he was just as inexperienced as me. It was a learning curve for both of us. Lottie was something else altogether. But I already felt this was right. I had a hunger that hadn't been there with Wesley. I'd thought it had been but this time I knew I'd been mistaken back then. This time I desired it rather than felt it was just something I should do. The ache between my legs was intense.

I thought I should make it easy for her.

"You can kiss me if you want."

For a moment she still didn't say anything and I worried I'd read the situation wrong. How awkward would that be on Monday at work?

Then she shuffled forward on her seat and leaned over. I waited with my heart pounding as her face hovered just inches from mine. Her eyes studying me like a specimen under a microscope.