Alone With Her Thoughts 1

JAKE's DESIRE: Chapter 2

ALONE WITH HER THOUGHTS

Standing at their upstairs bedroom window, Ann watched her partner walk down the sidewalk with that unmistakable spring in his step. She'd seen it on other occasions and knew exactly what it meant. Jake was under the spell of another woman, and she had a good idea who it might be.

Word travels fast through the couple's tightly bonded neighborhood. So, when the news of Mrs. Clayton's granddaughter's summer stay first caught Ann's attention, there was little doubt that it meant trouble.

She was far from oblivious to the problems in her relationship with Jake. It's just that she couldn't see her way clear to try to fix the situation. It was a multi-faceted problem that required a lot of unpealing.

Relationships with men had never been easy for Ann. From the early childhood memories of an older cousin who "played doctor" a little too intimately, through a series of bad dating experiences, to life with an abusive first husband; she had experienced far too much of men's "bad side" and next to none of the good.

Jake was the lone bright spot. He tried to make her happy. She believed that he'd always loved her, but she also knew his sexual appetite wasn't being satisfied with her feeble attempts. He'd been patient and taught her a lot of things he liked sexually.

It's just that every time she tried to please him by doing favors for him in bed, those old dark memories of too many bad experiences came rushing back. At those times, she could sense Jake's frustration over her inability to be free and easy in casting her inhibitions aside.

Lately, sex was a rarity. When it did happen, Jake seemed more and more detached, as if he were thinking of something - or someone - else. She was walking a dangerous tightrope with their relationship - she could see herself soon losing.

She just wasn't able to initiate intimacy. Whenever she tried to convince herself it would be all right, maybe even enjoyable, visions of her cousin's surprise ejaculation in her mouth came to her mind, even as she began caressing Jake's erect penis. She was afraid it would happen again as it did in her uncle's garage all those years ago.

Date rape wasn't the term for it in her teens. But memories of her clothes being torn from her body in the backseat of some boy's car remain fresh in her mind. The pain was inflicted by his thrusting without making any effort to ensure she was wet enough to accept him inside her. Jake wasn't like that, as he always takes his time to make sure she's ready. If she could only stop herself from tensing up.

But it wasn't all on her. Jake wasn't exactly communicating well with her anymore. Maybe the frustration had just built into something he could no longer deal with. But, if they could just talk.

The last time she tried to open up about her fears, Jake got upset and accused her of bringing up ancient history she should have dealt with years ago.

The morning had nearly slipped away and Ann was still wearing the robe she wrapped around herself when she got out of bed. "Maybe a long hot shower would relax me", she thought. "When Jake gets home, I'll be as alluring as possible. He'll be more than ready since it's been a few days since we had sex."

When she heard the clock struck 6 o'clock and Jake was still not home, Ann began to fear the worst. She decided to make a cup of tea to help calm her nerves. Tina was her closest friend; the only one she could fully trust to confide in. She'd heard it all. If it was part of Jake and Ann's life, Tina knew about it. When her tea was ready, she took her phone to the bay window in the family room. There she curled up and dialed her friend.

"Tina! How are you?" Ann was instantly comforted by her friend's voice.

"What's happening, Honey?" Tina asked. "You sound like you're stressed to the max."

"I'm OK. Well, that's not true. It's Jake", Ann confided. "He's been gone all day, and I'm afraid he's with Carly. That girl is trouble! I can feel it!"

"OK, calm down and tell me everything." Tina wanted to say, "Girl, you'd better start screwing that man hunk before someone else does!" She'd be first in line if Ann wasn't her best friend. She'd have to confess that the desire had crossed her mind more than once if she was being honest. "He's so hot and very fuckable", she imagined herself in his bed where Ann sure wasn't doing the job.

Just before sunset, Ann heard Jake rummaging in the garage and she became sure she wouldn't have to worry about convincing herself to have sex tonight. When he worked in the garage, he had other things on his mind.

"He's home, Tina. But, he's out banging around the garage. That's never a good sign." Ann was fretting again, wondering what her next step should be.

"You'd better turn up the heat, Girl", Tina suggested. "That will fix any number of problems with a guy like Jake. No, you go and do him good!"

"God, how I wish it was me with that chance!" Tina fantasized as she returned the phone to its cradle.