Definitely not a stand alone; a longer chapter, harder to write, and the sex is secondary to the characters. If you've been following the story, you'll see where it's going, but if it's the first time you've clicked on 'Satyricon'..., well, sorry, people: this is in 'Novels and Novellas' because that's more or less what it is - to understand the cast, their motivation, and what's happening to them, I advise you to (at least) skim the earlier chapters rather than skip them. Luke and Uli's relationship is changing: they aren't exactly out of control, but they're developing a life of their own, and I'm keen to see where they end up. Thanks for all the feedback: I'm not quite sure why most of it is private rather than public, but keep it coming. To those of you who've made suggestions, extra thanks. I've used some of your ideas in this and subsequent chapters.
Satyricon
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BRUSSELS / THE ARDENNES, FEBRUARY
MAGDA, ELENA, ANITA
Magda put the phone down feeling frustrated. Where was he when she wanted him to need her? She shook her head and laughed at herself. Who was she trying to kid? This wasn't a love affair, and the need wasn't equal. On the other hand, she thought, it was more than just an arrangement. She counted on her fingers. From the end of August to the middle of February; call it five months, and she'd been in his bed exactly... exactly nine times. That wasn't very much, really, but she couldn't believe the change in herself: she was taking control of meetings, putting her point of view, arguing her corner, feeling confident. She was beginning to be noticed. The deputy head of the German delegation had asked her out to dinner, and she'd accepted, surprising him by taking charge afterwards, brushing his advances aside gracefully, and then saying goodnight politely and leaving. Word had spread and now she was successful, mysterious and unattainable, and highly sought after: everything the skinny little small town girl had ever dreamed of; she was honest enough with herself to know that she'd leaned on him while she did it, and to acknowledge that he'd never pointed that out.
The office door opened and Elena came in. She threw her briefcase on her desk and sat down. Magda looked at her.
'You can't always get you want,' she sang mockingly. Elena's head whipped up and she stared at the younger girl, who looked straight back at her. Finally she nodded wryly.
'Not this weekend anyway.' Magda shrugged.
'Neither can I. Elena, I need to say something unwelcome.' Elena looked suspicious.
'What's the problem?' Magda crossed her fingers.
'Us. You're pissed because he's somewhere else, and you were wondering if he'd made plans with me; I was wondering the same about you, we're both wondering about Anita, and unless I'm mistaken, that blonde receptionist at the hotel was pissed with him and with me too. There's a word for that and it's called jealousy. Now then, as friends, what are we going to do about it, and as the boss, how are you going to prevent it affecting the team? Are we going to blame him for having his own life? He doesn't do anything without thinking, and if he's pushed off somewhere without saying anything it's deliberate.' She stopped and sat back, gazing calmly at her boss. Elena's eyes half-closed as she thought it through.
'Well, fuck you for being clever.' She sounded annoyed. 'I should have picked up on this. It's been getting worse recently, hasn't it?' Magda said nothing, but her eyes agreed. Elena was about to continue when the door crashed open and Anita stamped in. When she saw the other two she blushed deep red.
'Sorry. I didn't realize there was anyone still here. I thought you were....'
'Off with Luke and you were being neglected,' interrupted Magda. 'We're talking about that.' Anita blushed again.
'How did you know...?'
'Working week's over, kids,' said Elena decisively. 'I'm inviting you for a TGIF drink, in the first decent bar we come to. Come on.'
***********
They found a bar and commandeered a secluded table but by common consent they didn't raise the subject that was at the front of everyone's mind until the first drink had arrived, and the realization that it really was the weekend was trickling through them. Anita put her glass down and sighed.
'That's better. I actually went to the pension to find him. And that big blonde girl on the desk told me that he'd left, and that he'd said he was going away for the weekend. So I asked if he said where he was going, and she shook her head and said that he'd hired a car and had a bag with him. She looked sort of bottled up and angry, and I immediately thought that he was taking one of you away, and that's why I was banging about when I got back to the office. I'm sorry...' Magda raised a hand.
'It's no good beating ourselves over the head. If he's gone off with a car and a bag, then he's meeting someone, and the only person I can think of is the Austrian girl, the one I told you about, who tore that Bruno to pieces for me. (Author's note: for details of this incident see Vol. 2, Ch. 02b: A little gentle castration) And it's either to get away from us, because we're getting too complicated, or to spend time with her, because he's really fond of her. It's probably a bit of both.' She sat back and drained the rest of her rum and coke. 'I want another one of these, please.' Elena signaled the waitress.
'As long as you don't get tipsy. So one way or another he's avoiding us, and if we're honest with ourselves, we can't blame him. We've been pushing him too much and it's up to us to sort something out. One thing's definite: I don't want to lose him. We're beginning to punch way above our weight in this town, and that's mostly because your English has improved so much, thanks to him. He's worth every exorbitant cent we're paying him. So how do we sort things out?'
'I'm not going to put up with a rota,' said Anita. 'I had enough of that at school. Elena, you're the boss. Make an executive decision that doesn't involve rotas.' Elena shook her head.
'Easy to say. Let's be honest: we're all a little bit in love with him, but we're not stupid, none of us and we don't think we've got a future with him: he's not the type, and we wouldn't be here if we weren't ambitious bitches. If you had to choose between him and your career, what would you decide?' She looked challengingly at the other two and waited. Neither of the younger girls replied. Then Magda stirred.
'Point taken. We've got to stop using him as our default setting. I think I'm going to start dating. I quite fancied that German guy I had dinner with; in fact walking away at the end of the evening was difficult. So I'm going to take the blinkers off. Part of his attraction is that he doesn't make any demands. If we say, "sorry, busy tonight", he smiles and gives us a kiss and goes off to do his own thing, so we really shouldn't expect him to be on hand whenever we need... whatever. I'm confident enough to handle other guys without needing to be in his shadow any more, and if I screw up, he'll help. I trust him completely to do that. I don't want to cut him off completely though. There's something about him...' She stopped, embarrassed. Anita looked worried.
'I've always had a boyfriend, so I've never dated or anything like that. I'd worry about feeling like a slut, and, and... I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does. I could hardly bear to have Goran touch me at Christmas, and I felt so mean.' Elena waved to the waitress for another round.
'I don't think we should sleep around, but making proper lives for ourselves is a good idea. After all, if he was just another English teacher, we'd be doing that anyway.' She was quiet for a minute. 'I'm not giving him up either, but I'm going to try and put him in perspective. And another thing: something changed over Christmas. That's why we're here. When he was totally focused there was nothing to fight about, but now...'
'You're right.' Magda's voice was quiet. 'There's someone at the front of his mind, and it isn't any of us.'
The three women sat quietly, staring into their drinks, feeling the bittersweet regret of necessary loss.
LUKE AND ULI
'The Ardennes?' I protested feebly. 'We'll freeze to death and get lost twice a day. Why not somewhere civilized?'
'No cellphone cover, no distractions, and if it's cold we'll just have to snuggle.' Uli reached over and put a hand on my thigh. 'It's not exactly the third world, you know. Straight down the motorway and I'll tell you which exit. I was looking at maps and guides on the plane.' I was concentrating on the road but I risked a glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and looked as stunning as ever. When she'd come out of the arrival gate at the airport my heart had done flip-flops in my chest. It wasn't a feeling that I recognized.