I awoke with Alicia beside me snoring quietly in a deep sleep. As I drew slowly towards full wakefulness, I became conscious of several things: The first was a pressing need to urinate. The second was the sensuous feeling of waking up beside Alicia's big warm body. The third was my sore butt. The memory of what had happened between Alicia and me the night before came back, and I felt embarrassed. What would any of my male friends think of me if they ever found out that I enjoyed being spanked? I would never live it down. And, what would Alicia think? Sure, it might be novel and exciting now, but wouldn't she eventually grow disgusted with me and want someone who could meet her on her own terms?
At the moment, I could do something about only one of those things. I got up to pee. Alicia sighed and turned over. I put on my tee shirt and went into the bathroom, still mulling over my predicament.
I was torn. As much as I liked Alicia, I wasn't sure that I could live with myself if our relationship was going to be based on her dominating me. It was true that I'd fantasized about big women most of my life, and that had included them spanking me. But fantasizing, and actually doing it are two different things.
No matter, I was going to have to deal with it now. I had already told Alicia that she could be the boss, and I had submitted myself for a sound spanking. And what's more, I said to myself in the bathroom mirror, you enjoyed it. The surrender I had felt as she spanked me had been unlike anything I had ever felt. Sometime during the experience, I had felt a barrier within me break down. Between the pain and the pleasure, something in me had been touched, and I was changed.
I only hoped that Alicia was the right person for this kind of relationship. If domination was going to be a theme of our pairing, then it had to be loving domination. My psyche could take a lot of abuse, but it couldn't stand domination without caring. Also, I wouldn't stand for being humiliated publicly. I could take anything as long as I knew that Alicia cared. Having decided that, I left the bathroom and peeked in on her. She was still asleep, so I went into the kitchen and started breakfast.
It was eight-thirty by the clock on the kitchen wall. I was glad that both of us were off work. I hoped that this weekend turned out well. Alicia could have me, if she handled me the right way.
Everything we needed for breakfast was in the kitchen. I made coffee, cold orange juice, scrambled cheese eggs, sausage, croissants, margarine and jelly. I was wearing no underwear, and the light touch of the tee shirt on my butt reminded me of what I had received the night before.
The first few weeks of a romance must be the most intensely pleasurable, and painful, experiences a person can have. You feel more alive that at almost any other time. Alicia and I were not especially young: she was thirty-four, I was twenty-eight. But I felt that I had entered into what I call a "great love." Despite my misgivings, there was a part of me that felt that the relationship was right, and very much wanted it to succeed. I was excited and happy. I think also that, despite Alicia's gruff exterior, there was a part of her that was excited. I sensed that she also wanted our new relationship to work. Like many people, even powerful ones, Alicia was a bit lonely, even a little afraid.
As I prepared breakfast, I sensed a release of tension inside me. I was slowly coming to grips with what had happened. If she turned out to be the right woman for me, as I hoped, then there would also be time enough for me to "train" her in what I myself needed as a loved, and loving submissive.
I put the food onto plates and went back into the bedroom. I slipped beneath the warm sheets and cuddled up to her. I kissed her shoulder. She stirred and turned over, embracing me.
"Good morning," I said.
"'Morning," she said.
"I've made breakfast. Would you like to eat in here, or in the dining room?"
"I'll get up," Alicia said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She walked nude over to the bathroom and closed the door. I slipped on underwear, went into the dining room, and set the table for breakfast. A few minutes later, Alicia came in. She had brushed her hair and her teeth, and she was wearing an expensive satin dressing gown. I poured coffee and juice for her, then watched as she ate hungrily. I was hungry, but somehow didn't feel much like eating. We didn't say much, just made small talk. When we were done, I took her plate to the kitchen. We took coffee into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"Well, any regrets?" I asked, smiling to cover my nervousness.
She thought for a moment, then said, "No, Phillip, at least not now. I must admit that I thought I would have some. I never thought that I would ever go out with anybody but another doctor, but the truth is I don't really like other doctors that much. Many of them are egotistical jerks. Hell, I'm an egotistical jerk. You, on the other hand, are not a jerk. And," she smiled a little, "I really enjoyed our lovemaking."
My stomach quavered as I asked, "What about, you know, what about the spanking?"
Alicia patted the couch beside her and I slid over closer. She put her arm around me and said, "That was all right, too. It felt good to get some anger out, but I must say it was a bit strange to me to be spanking a grown man over my knee."
I took a deep breath, still very nervous, and tried to explain my feelings. "Alicia, I don't exactly know how to say this, but I'll try anyway. For a person like me, to be punished like that is painful. I mean, it should be. But at the same time, it makes me feel cared for. All I could think about while you were hitting me was what you cared about me. And I was going to find some way to let you know that I cared about you, as well."
"Well, from what happened afterwards, I would say that I got the message," she said.
"I hope that I don't disgust you now."
"Phillip, you don't disgust me. Not at all. I like you, and I think that this little pairing of ours has a chance. We'll just have to take it slowly. I've never been in a relationship where I didn't have to compete with the man. This will be different for me."
She leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. She tasted of coffee; her lips were warm and full. The heat from her body aroused me. She noticed and put her hand on my erection.
"I've got an idea," I said.
"What?"
"How about letting me give you the full treatment this morning?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I mean, let me wash your hair and body, shave your legs, everything. I'll do your nails as well. How about it?"
She looked at me for a long moment, a quizzical expression on her face, then said, "Why the hell not?"
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