Afternoon Tea
At Thanksgiving, we had feasted – by ourselves. Next day there were turkey sandwiches and watching stupid TV in bed, there was bathing together. You began reading Anna Karenina stretched out on your belly in bed – your silver glasses perched on your nose, your head toward the bed's foot, your kimono draped over your lovely shoulders and back and your legs bent up at the knees. I played my guitar and scribbled lyrics on the three yellow legal pads I always keep handy for the purpose. We had napped. We had kissed, stroking each others arms, backs. You turned back to your reading.
You still had a few classes left and then exams and then winter break.
"Sweetie, are you staying here for Christmas or will you be going away?"
You looked up from your book, "I'll be staying here, Daddy. This is my home now."
I had smiled. "Of course. I'm glad, Darling. – Sweetie –"
"Yes, Sir."
"I'd like you to move from your little room in the servant's wing to the room next to mine here – the one that connects through that door. Would you like that?"
You looked up from your book. You paused. "Ok, Daddy. Yes. Can I see the room next door here?"
"Of course, sweetie."
We got up and went to the tall door and opened it. You stepped through into a lovely, airy room. As light and feminine as my room is dark and masculine. The fireplace was smaller and made of light green marble with a stuffed chair and footstool before it. There were huge bay windows with a window seat all around. Two high backed chairs flanked a small table. There was a big canopy bed with fine linens and blankets and afghans and big comfy pillows. There was an old-fashioned vanity with an etched mirror and lace skirt, a tall wardrobe and two chests of drawers, and an old trunk at the foot of the bed. You ran to the bathroom door – your own claw-foot bathtub.
All the colors were light. The room was fresh. I was a girl's dream come true.
"Daddy, it's lovely."
You ran to the window and knelt on the window seat looking out. It had begun to snow. The first snow of the year. You could see across the valley to the campus on the opposite hill. You could see it in the yard and bushes below. Snow.
You turned back to me. I was smiling at you. "Daddy, whose room was this?"
You saw the shock on my face. How foolish of me. Of course you would want to know. It was an innocent, natural question. I had been so wrapped up in us that I hadn't thought that far. Without thinking, I lifted my had to my brow. I must have looked pained.
You leapt up and came to me. "Daddy, never mind. Never mind."
I took your hand in mine. "No – it's OK, baby. I – I just forgot about it – I mean I've been so wrapped up in you and me..."
"OK, Daddy. It's OK. You don't have to tell me." You gently touched my face.
I smiled. You had taken away my pain. I could at least tell you a bit of the story – the rest could wait. "It was my grandmother's mother's and then, later on, it was my grandmother's. My grandmother was quite a character. You already have her glasses, why not stay in her room?"
You slowly and gently wrapped your arms around me. "Sure, Daddy, sure. I'd love to. It's right next to yours – which is really more like ours kind-of." You snuggled your face against my neck.
I stroked your curls. I held you close.
"Daddy, I know there were other women who lived here too. I can feel them in this room. They were good. They'll keep me company. Let's make tea and have it together here in my room."
I was relieved – you had let me off the hook. I knew you were being kind to me. "Thank you, little girl. That would be wonderful."
You took my hand and lead me to the kitchen. You made us tea and a plate of scones. We carried them upstairs and sat in your window. We watched the snow falling harder over the hill. Everything was being turned white. The world was soft and beautiful.